


Gentle Singularities

by Fangirlinit



Series: A Space-Time Odyssey [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Krypton, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-02-26 10:13:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 133,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13233570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlinit/pseuds/Fangirlinit
Summary: Against insurmountable odds Alex finds herself on a strange planet and among familiar faces. There, she finds the promise of a new life. But is it enough or is it just a substitute?





	1. The Human Who Fell to Krypton

**Author's Note:**

> *GASP* An early update?! Bet you guys didn't see that coming.

The first experiment already illustrates a truth of the theory, well confirmed by practice, what-ever can happen will happen if we make trials enough.

Augustus De Morgan’s Scientific Process Theorem

The galaxy was all a stage – dark, cold, and inhospitable. It was made up of fiction, distraction, illusion too distant to grasp. The woman in the pod knew nothing more than her place in it. She lived many lives as Alex Danvers: daughter of two scientists and then, when she least expected it, sister to an alien. She pushed herself through school and earned the distinction of straight-A student until she realized it still wasn’t enough. In the shadow of a hangover, she traded in the chances of publication, professorship, perhaps even fame for a gun and a badge. The imbalanced proportion of personal life to duty was worth it because she spent the next three years making a difference and protecting the life of one unsuspecting hero-in-the-making.

She was a protector, a fighter, a killer. She opened her heart and her mind to accept the scientist and the lover beneath her own dutiful exterior. And, in another surprising turn, found herself becoming mother to a beautiful eyed miracle.

All those lives lay behind her in ruin. Every single one. Any role she had left to play provoked unbearable suffering as she played the last survivor of the human race and widowed of family, home, and love. The only person to get under her skin and fill her heart was dead and there was no coming back from it this time.

As Alex passed in and out of consciousness, she felt a vague sense of spiraling out of control. Coupled with the cold, she wondered if Astra had experienced the same effects during her coffin trip to Rao. Would Alex be consumed by the same forces that had consumed Astra? Would they put her out of her misery and end this charade? Alex was so very tired and cold and lost. She was done trying, done living. Every breath became a torment. Every light a mere blip in an ever expanding universe.

She spent so much time in the pod just drifting, the listlessness allowed doubts to take root. The line between reality and dreams blurred. How could she have led all those lives? If she spent 29 years living and working on a planet peopled by the billions, how could it just end like that? Was it all a lie? Had Alex been in this cold, dark space the whole time? Dreaming of caped crusaders and the woman with a peculiar white streak of hair? Twelve years of movie marathons and dim sum. A year haunted by mistakes, relieved in compassion, and stuffed with tacos and spontaneous cravings. A month’s worth of sleep deprivation and soprano lullabies. The dreams seemed too good to be true, the nightmares too horrifying.

The rocking would not stop. Alex tried to sleep but the motions wouldn’t let up, leading her to question her lucidity. How could she be spinning in zero gravity? She continued to feel the spinning sensation until her pod hit something solid.

The momentum threw her forward in her seat. Her harness caught her, preventing a face first collision through the window. There was no doubt about where she landed. She had heard the splash and subsequent droplets spray against the shielding. The pod stopped its rocking. All was still.

Alex didn’t come to full consciousness until a light beat down and roused her with its brilliance. She blinked and tossed her head lazily away from the sun for it was the brightest thing her eyes had witnessed in some time. The sun… not a golden yellow like Earth’s but different, alien.

Alex shot up like a fire had been lit under her seat. An inhuman sound came from inside the pod. Her throat, made dry by disuse, garbled the expletive. Distress replaced the lethargy and shot pure initiative into her veins.

From within the pod, Alex scrutinized the terrain. A shimmering lake surrounded her. She had landed in the middle of a small lake. Her goddamn pod dropped her into a goddamn lake.

Alex scrubbed her eyes before taking another look. Sure enough, the lake was real and so too were the red dunes. They stretched as far as her eyes could see. The sun was bright but not overly uncomfortable in temperature from where she sat. It gave off a reddish orange tinge that revitalized the turf. It felt like a mild spring Earth day with partly cloudy skies and what looked to be a light breeze sweeping over the water.

For a moment, Alex thought she had landed on a younger version of Mars. The presence of water deemed it possible. She almost pinched herself. Had she defied the very laws of physics and traveled back in time? Alex searched her memory for any peculiar phenomena but came up blank. A haze clouded her time spent in the pod. She had no memory of the trip since passing out somewhere between Jupiter and Saturn. If her pod had been pulled into a wormhole, she certainly didn’t remember it happening. She would have noticed an event of that magnitude were she conscious at the time.

Despite the stark probability that she landed in the past, on _Mars_ no less, Alex couldn’t suspend hope that J’onn might pop up from behind one of the dunes. The idea approached dangerously close to delusion, yet all Alex had at her disposal were delusions.

She was encouraged like a shot of adrenaline in the bloodstream. The expectation of seeing her son again prompted her to crack the seal on the pod, regardless of the dangers. She took a fleeting moment to check the air and, upon taking a few deep breathes, decided it was sufficient. Alex threw a leg over, then the other, and slid off the convex nose and into the water with a splash.

It felt surprisingly warm. Once her toes touched the bottom she edged forward. The sun baked surface reached mid torso and posed a queer resistance. She looked down, arms raised above the water to discern its murky gray quality. If the lake contained life, she couldn’t see or feel any of it. She touched the surface with a tentative tap. Receding for inspection, she rubbed her fingers together and watched as the oily substance glistened in the sunlight. The oddity did not alleviate her concerns.

Why the hell did she have to leave the pod? She should have just stayed put. Alex took in her surroundings and came to the conclusion that she was in a remote area. If anyone had heard her pod crash, surely they would have come to survey the wreckage.

No one seemed to care. It was too late to return to the pod. The shore was only a few feet away, so Alex dove forward and breast stroked the remaining distance.

She climbed out of the lake and shook herself off. The DEO issue pants and long sleeve shirt she travelled in stuck to her like a second skin. A creeping sensation lingered on her flesh, perhaps not due to anything she came in contact with but for the sole reason that she just disturbed foreign territory. At the back of her mind, she could hear one of her professors ranting about the consequences of human intervention on foreign planets. The germs from one human would be enough to wipe out an entire civilization. No immunity from microbes and viral diseases could spread infection and mean the end of life on a single planet. NASA scientists have been debating intervention theory for years. The professors at Princeton University didn’t mince their warnings either.

The unknowns were stacking up like a leaning tower of Jenga and it only took one misplaced decision to trigger a collapse. Alex, however, hardly had the luxury to monitor what she breathed on any more than she could prevent the risk of polluting the environment. The pod’s dimensions didn’t allow for supplies, so she hadn’t the essentials of food, water, or oxygen. She was on a foreign planet without a map – textbook lost and petrifyingly so. Contamination was the least of her worries.

Alex turned in place to get a sense of her surroundings. A spindly rustling accompanied her shuffle. She looked down and gasped in shock. Her wide eyes swept over the landscape. The dunes were not made of sand. They were grassy hillsides. _Red_ grassy hillsides.

“So I’m definitely not in Kansas,” Alex muttered. “Or on Earth.”

Which left countless planets of infinite galaxies. And how many of those provided breathable air for human life? Suitable gravity and atmospheric pressure? What were the chances that Alex ended up on one such planet that contained the necessary requirements for human survival? She calculated the probability during her last night on Earth. Try as she did, an odds ratio failed to spring in mind. At the time, Astra was kissing her concerns into oblivion, melting any hopes of grasping a solitary thought. Alex always marveled at Astra’s ability to make her mind darken and her calculations blank. She could tear people’s focus with fraction gestures. For Alex, her weaknesses lied in the tilt of a mouth, a telling hum, the flicker of affection in her eyes. Among other things.

Without warning, Alex’s heart palpitated. She clutched at her chest, breath stuttering and forehead breaking out into a sweat. The ground began to tilt.

The reminder of Astra and all Alex left behind was almost enough to cripple her. Her willpower was hanging by a thread and all it took was one memory, one image of a haughty smirk to supplant the limits of its tension. Fortunately, the loss wasn’t enough to sabotage her efforts. Jeremiah had to be close by. Her pod’s navigation system was programed to follow his beacon. Whatever galaxy or time period her pod had taken her to, she was meant to be here.

Instead of collapsing like a lame animal, she stuffed her grief and raised her head. There she stood, breathing oxygen and not bursting like an overinflated balloon. She had made it this far. There was no sense in falling to pieces now.

Alex put one foot in front of the other. The dry, prickly grass crunching under her boots sounded stark amid the quiet. She decided to make a lay of the land and search for any signs of footprints, disturbed areas, or landmarks. Keeping the pod within view so as not to stray too far, Alex headed in the direction of the nearest hill.

As she was reaching the top, an enormous shadow overtook her. She craned her neck and jolted back in surprise. Poised on two lean legs was what looked to be an emu. Only instead of a muted gray, its feathers took on a near blinding turquois.

The bird’s color stood in blatant contrast to the red field and Alex wondered how it stayed off the radar of predators. Before her thoughts could progress, the animal wheeled its head around and fixated on her with its yellow eyes.

“Shit.”

Something in those eyes told her she wasn’t the predator. Alex spread her hands out, palms to the ground, and retreated. Not discreetly enough, apparently, for the bird opened its beak and emit an earsplitting scream.

Alex covered her ears with a grimace.

“ _Yawp!_ ” the bird cried again and the feathers on its back rustled. Hackles raised, it thrust its razor sharp beak forward.

Alex didn’t think. It was fight or flight and she didn’t have a weapon so she turned and ran. The _thump-thump-thump_ combined with the _fwith_ of feathers told her the not-emu was fast on her heels. She raced up a hill, ignoring the burn in her thighs. Sitting in cramped quarters for an extended period of time made her heart and muscles weak. She may have been out of shape, but she still had something to live for. Her son needed her and she would not abandon him because she got pecked to death by a goddamn emu.

When she reached hallway up the steep hill, a sudden blaring noise came out of nowhere. The pitch reached so high it swallowed the honking of the not-emu. Startled, Alex threw herself forward and grabbed tuffs of grass, scrambling like a petrified animal to reach the top. The blaring sound didn’t let up. Her ears were buzzing. Alex didn’t recognize the sound or where it was coming from until it dropped smack in front of her.

She was reaching the top of the crest when a large vehicle swooped down to block her path. If Alex’s nails hadn’t been dug into the ground she would have lost her balance and been impaled by the not-emu’s pointed beak.

The feathered animal squawked in alarm. Alex flung around and pressed her back into the earth ready to defend herself. But the bird was gone, waddling at top speed down the hill.

Alex’s relief only lasted a moment. Her fight or flight response just took a 180 when she felt the hands on her. She rolled, throwing an elbow in the hopes that it caught her attacker in a vital organ. The futility of her struggle became known when her elbow met solid metal. A prickly sensation surged from her funny bone and made her arm go limp. She was grabbed under the shoulders and hauled up to her feet.

Someone spoke over the vehicle’s rumble. Alex swayed on her feet, gaining her bearings. The adrenaline was successfully shaken off, but the fear stuck to her as the oily substance of the lake had. A cloying sense of peril tightened around her chest, and in that moment Alex forgot every test from DEO field training.

The two figures were dressed in uniform and masked in helmets. They were humanoid, that much Alex gleaned from the pairs of legs and arms. The taller figure spoke too rapidly for her to make out, but something about its inflections stirred a warning at the back of her mind. Before she could sort out its meaning, the figures pulled pistols from behind their backs and aimed them dead center.

Alex took a step back and, in an attempt to show her innocence, raised her hands.

The guard spoke the same string of words but this time in a barking tone.

 “Take it easy,” she said. “I’m unarmed.”

The guards looked at one another. A silence passed between them and she wondered if they were speaking via a two-way comms piece. Wordlessly, they lowered their weapons and slapped a pair of cuffs on her. The cold metal was uncompromising around Alex’s wrists. She glanced at the backseat of the vehicle with a note of trepidation and, sure enough, they nudged her inside. None too gently, either.

Alex cautioned herself against relief. In her current situation, safety proved to be a double-edged sword. If given the choice, she could either take her chances in the wilderness – lost, alone, and deprived of supplies – or remain in the custody of an unknown alien race. Judging by the stout bonds on her wrists, Alex wouldn’t be able jimmy out of them. This was not some Cadmus sanctioned kidnapping she could punch her way out of. With no weapons and no backup, she had a snowball’s chance in hell of escaping. Wherever these men were taking her, she just hoped it wasn’t out of the frying pan into the fire.

* * *

Alex’s tongue felt like cotton in a sand trap. She figured it was out of the question to ask for a drink. Inexperienced in these radical turn of events, she had no other choice but to sit back and submit to the ride.

It was a thirty minute flight into the city. Alex clocked it by her watch, half wondering if these aliens had a similar concept of keeping time. They passed over red grassland before entering into a sweeping landscape of skyscrapers and zipping traffic, a city peopled by thousands and teeming with highly wrought architecture and death defying speeds of transportation.

Recognition niggled at Alex until she could no longer ignore it. It crept up on her stubborn, unsuspecting self. She didn’t want to believe that she knew this place, but she had seen these vehicles from inside one of those complexes. She recognized the architecture style from her time spent in Kara’s hallucination under the Black Mercy. It all made sense now. The familiar accent of her guards, the strange symbols written on the vehicle before she was pushed inside, the cityscape…

Alex was on Krypton.

The news had her reeling. Her head flopped back against the seat as she gasped and blinked in aghast. She would have enjoyed the scenery were she not scared stiff. For all she knew, these patrolmen were transporting her for execution. Every minute spent on this planet had her realizing how little she actually knew of the place. In her twelve years living with a Kryptonian, Alex hadn’t asked many questions about Kara’s home world. Even if she had, Krypton’s legal system would have been the least of her interests.

What she would give to see her sister again.

They drifted down to a landing platform. The tug on her cuffs had Alex clambered out and she bit back a retort at the treatment. A sheet of glass and concrete-like material stood before them. The complex looked to be one of the taller skyscrapers; circular in shape with enclosed bridges branching out to other more slimmer structures. Platforms, bustling with transports, clung to the main complex like shelf fungi growing on a tree.

Alex was led toward what she assumed to be the main hub. A line of symbols were imprinted in the concrete above the entrance. Her guards took their sweet time, so Alex took a moment to squint at the white glyphs. It was definitely Kryptonian. She recognized a few characters from her time spent at the DEO, but a full translation was not within her ability.

Alex was led through the doors into an immense, naturally lit foyer. Their boots clomped across the glossy floor and echoed with dozens of other pedestrians. They took her directly before a raised desk. The guards greeted the attendant. Alex had to crane her neck to be granted a glimpse of the woman’s face. She had a smooth complexion, a stubby nose, and thin lips which spoke Kryptonese in a clipped tone. Her dark hair was pulled back in a flawless ponytail that flicked to her cocked head.

The blue eyes narrowed coolly at Alex. Unwilling to be made a spectacle, Alex crinkled her mouth sardonically and looked away.

The guard on Alex’s right waved his gloved wrist over a panel. A beep sounded and he addressed the attendant in rapid Kryptonese. The attendant gave a short reply before seeking paperwork of some sort.

Alex took the opportunity to scrutinize the place. Glass paneled windows let in natural light from every direction. She gazed up, taking in the scope of the place. Balconies crisscrossed above, doors led to supposed offices and conference rooms, and lifts carried passengers to various floors. Everything seemed to be made out of either glass, chrome, or some concrete material. It looked as inhospitable as a Russian winter.

The people were dressed in formalwear. Men carried themselves in uniform while the women drowned in slick flowing robes. Alex caught only a few women fitted similar to the men. The Kryptonians here held to a status quo, that much was certain, however, there was something different in the way these people moved and dressed compared to those Alex had seen in Kara’s fantasy world. They walked as if scrutinized of their every move. The uniforms were stiffer with collars nearly cutting into the neck and the woman’s neckline was fully concealed though still displaying an aesthetically pleasing femininity. If Alex didn’t know any better, she’d think she woke up to a futurist spin on the Victorian period.

Her gaze travelled from one Kryptonian to the next as she swept the vestibule. In her search, she latched onto a slim gown and panned up to the face. The woman’s back was turned. A foreboding sense crept up on Alex and froze the very blood in her veins.

Dream merged with reality in one breathless gasp of, “Alura?”

One of her guards snapped his head around. “No talking.” The order was far too imperious to be muffled by his helmet.

Alex had no time to dwell on his impeccable English. She showed her palms to concede and pointed. “See that woman? I know her. If you would just let me speak to her –“

“I said no talking.”

Exasperated, Alex shoved him with her shoulder, stunning him momentarily. She yanked out of his grip and made a run for it. “Alura!”

In the blink of an eye, the whole place erupted into chaos. Guards shouted, an alarm went off, and pedestrians scattered. It was too late to surrender. She had already broken some kind of airspace law and could now add assault of an officer to her rap sheet. Alex hardly knew what she expected to happen when she reached her objective. All that mattered was getting to a place a safety and that meant any familiar face. She was nearly there. Just a few more feet.

Alex felt the sting before she heard the pistol discharge. Her body seized and she hit the floor like dead weight. The stun was not unlike those used by law enforcement on Earth. The DEO occasionally equipped stun guns when apprehending the more sensitive hostiles. Like police officers, DEO recruits were trained in their uses and instructed in the physiological effects of a taser. They even had the opportunity to role play as the target so they knew what it was like to take a shock. Alex could not claim to remember the experience, but the dose plowing through her body was certainly refreshing her memory.

The alarm had been silenced and the passersby were making a wide berth around them. She could feel eyes on her from above. Alex raised her head to find the hem of a blue gown not two feet from her.

Kryptonese fell from the woman’s tongue in a questioning tone. Her voice was unmistakable and provoked a spike of anguish in Alex. 

One of the guards replied roughly as the other hauled Alex to her feet.

She squirmed away but their grip only tightened. Still detained by the cuffs behind her back, her wrists were jerked and her arms pulled taught. Pain shot up to her shoulders. “Get off of me!” Her thrashing only intensified the sting.

Alura met her eyes in astonishment. “You do not speak Kryptonese.” Her pronunciation made the guard’s sound barbaric. Every syllable slipped effortlessly from her tongue.

A mixture of apprehension and wonder swirled in Alura’s eyes. It had Alex pausing in her struggle. “Alura, please. You have to help me.”

Alura turned her head suspiciously. “Have we met before?”

“I’m not really sure how to answer that.”

The subsequent once over reminded Alex of her afternoon dip. She must have looked like a drowned rat. Whatever substance that lake was made of, it neither dried quickly nor smelled of flowers.

The corners of Alura’s mouth slipped down, a likely means to keep from wrinkling her nose. She addressed one of the guards. “She is a prisoner?”

“High-level security risk. She is to await sentencing in detainment.”

“High-level…?” Alex scowled at the nerve and yanked again. “I am no threat.”

The attempt to release herself from the guard’s grip drew Alura’s attention. “Your fussing is quite fruitless,” she narrowed her eyes, “human.”

“Fruitless? I got away from him, didn’t I?”

“Mm,” Alura hummed, unmoved, “and how far did you get?”

“I could have ran out of here. Instead I went to you, a _judge_. That should count for something.”

“It certainly accounts for humanity’s senselessness.”

The grip on her arms didn’t let up, but Alex quit struggling.

“How did you know I am a judge?”

The gentle curiosity bordered on mocking. Alex tightened her gaze and shrugged. “Maybe I picked it up from the news.”

“That may be true if you had not arrived on Krypton this morning.”

Alex searched her memory, unable to remember the guards providing that level of detail. “How do you know that?”

“I am a judge, am I not? My station grants me access to the most sensitive intelligence; anything from political threats to global security.” Gleaning a foregone conclusion, she lowered her chin. “Or a failed attempt on the part of an anti-Kryptonian extremist.”

Alex’s jaw dropped. She blinked in disbelief, struggling to give voice to her defense. “I am not… I am no terrorist.”

“First you claim that you are not a threat. Next you say you are no terrorist. What else are you _not_?”

“I’m _not_ a danger to anyone.”

“Then who are you?”

The retort came so swift and biting it made Alex’s head spin. She sighed, shoulders crumpling. The cuffs on her wrists clicked in place, reminding her that she was going nowhere. “I promise to cooperate as long as you are the one asking the questions.” Alex glanced at the guards. “I won’t speak to anyone else.”

Unmoved, Alura breathed in and then out through her nose. She waited to be impressed.

Alex tilted her head in challenge. “We both know you have the authority to interrogate. I’ll give you everything, just not here. You have my word.”

“My, you really are not from around here. No one familiar with our ways would dare take the word of a human, especially a human one just met two minutes ago.”

It was clear that there was only one option left. There was no way around it, not with her impending arrest and trial by a seemingly anti-human justice system. Alex swallowed, unprepared to be yielding to certain veracities so soon and with an audience of strangers.

“You’re right,” she said, resolve crumpling in time with her expression. “I am human. I also go by Alex Danvers. I come from a place on Earth called National City.” A prickling sensation sprouted in her chest and burned up her esophagus. She ignored the intensity building within and pushed on. “The last time I saw home it was minutes from being annihilated by a solar flare. My planet has been destroyed and with it my father, mother, and sister. Everyone I have ever loved is either dead or lost to me. I have nothing left to lose. That may make me a terrorist in your eyes, but can you not find it in yourself to give me a chance to tell my story?”

Alura mulled it over. She inhaled deeply and released the breath with measured care before turning to one of the guards. “You may leave her in my custody.” Her eyes flicked to Alex and revealed their guarded nature. “For now.”

The guard nodded. “As you wish.”

Alex found it difficult to conceal her astonishment. She watched the guards walk away before turning back. “Just like that?”

“If you wish to start off on the right foot, you would do well not to question my ability in leveraging the council. Not that you stand a chance of gaining my sympathy.” Without further ado, she turned on her heel. “Follow me. Quickly now before you attract more attention than you’re worth.”

Alex gave an indignant twist of her mouth. She scrambled to catch up, tucking the manacles to her back to keep their clanking from drawing scrutiny. Of course, she failed in that respect. The eyes of well-to-do officials and hustling clerks burned into her back. They were likely wondering why a high judge was in the company of a felon deprived of armed escorts.

“You mentioned a council,” Alex said conversationally. They were inside the lift and standing side by side. “Who exactly do you work for?”

Alura remained silent and staring ahead.

The lift picked up speed, successfully thwarting Alex’s line of questioning. She already forgot what she had asked and diverted her eyes to the side. The transparent convex walls gave an ample view of their altitude. It would have unsettled the least acrophobic individual. Before, Alex had never been afraid of heights, not when she spent her childhood stargazing from her parent’s roof. Now, her skin was tingling to anxiety. They soared up faster than she could count the levels. She edged away from the walls and swallowed down her unease.

Alura turned her head and zeroed in on the brush to her shoulder. She looked at Alex for a moment before speaking. “You are currently residing in a complex dedicated to order regulation. I report directly to the Council of Law and Kryptonian Behavior.”

“Seriously? That sounds frighteningly Orwellian.”

“Should I know what that means?”

“Forget I said anything.”

“Easily done,” Alura muttered under her breath. Their transport drifted to a soundless halt and she stepped out of the lift.

They proceeded down a gleaming corridor lined with glass encased offices and conference rooms. Automaton paralegals wheeled by, lugging case files and boxes to their destinations. Rounding a corner, Alex glanced about the small vestibule occupied by a somewhat diminutive secretary. Like the main floor attendant, her blonde hair was slicked back into a tight knot. She was fresh-faced – Alex would guess somewhat close to Kara’s age – and possessed the least domineering presence (and posture) she had seen since arriving on the premises.

Their entrance drew the young woman’s head up from her work. When her eyes met a cuffed Alex they widened. She lay her hands flat on her desk and gasped. Strained words of Kryptonese fell from her lips.

“Yes, I am aware.” Alura’s English caused the girl’s eyes to broaden further. “Please reschedule this evening’s assembly.” Alura held open the door to her office and waved Alex in. Before closing it, she paused and murmured to her assistant. Alex tilted her ear and caught something along the lines of “not to be disturbed.”

When the door clicked shut, they were enveloped in a muted atmosphere. Alex started at the size and simplicity. The space was walled in by bookcases. Relics and art pieces decorated the shelves, and when Alex caught the flicker of moving photographs, she quickly diverted her gaze. Questions of place and time did not seem pertinent at the moment. Even if they were, she couldn’t be sure she was ready to take the news.

“You act as if you have something to bargain with,” gathered Alura. She stared through Alex as she crossed the room to her desk. “What makes you think I will help you? Since arriving, your actions have not inspired confidence. The flight operator from Immigration identified an unauthorized entry into Krypton’s atmosphere and a subsequent crash into Lake Fwosha. You resisted arrest, assaulted an officer, and are now lobbying a justice of the court. Those are serious charges.”

Alex bowed her head and shuffled forward in as humbling a manner as her state could manage. “Be that as it may, I do respect your authority. I know you won’t give me special treatment, especially seeing as you have no reason to put your reputation on the line for a stranger. But what if I wasn’t a _complete_ stranger? What if I told you things no one else would know?” Alex shrugged, at a loss for any other response. “It may be false hope, but I have to try. You can hardly blame me for wanting to stay out of a prison cell.”

“I suppose not.” Alura reached under her desk and pressed a button that turned the office walls opaque. “Have a seat.”

Although it seemed pointless to solicit a release from her restraints, Alex did have one request that couldn’t be ignored. “Excuse me, but may I have something to drink?”

Alex hadn’t seen a mirror in quite some time, but judging by Alura’s reaction it probably wasn’t pretty. Something flickered in Alura’s expression before she masked it with a clearing of her throat. She went to the windowsill occupied by a water station. Alex sagged in relief when the entire pitcher was brought over.

“Should you have gone directly to a cell,” Alura said, making up a glass, “you would have been given sustenance. Despite my people’s wariness of visitors, we do not mistreat our prisoners.”

She crooked a finger for Alex to stand. When finished, Alex was allowed to sit back down, refastened wrists now resting more comfortably in her lap. She took the proffered glass and downed it as politely as her thirst would allow.

“What did you intend to happen when you crashed in that lake?” Alura rested her hand on the back of her high-backed chair but didn’t sit down. Her gaze narrowed, much to Alex’s despair, before smoothing out. “Forgive me. That is not how I meant to start. I do not normally lead investigations of this nature.”

“I don’t normally crash into other people’s lakes.” Alex smiled meekly. “This is my first visit to another planet. Can’t say it’s been a vacation so far.”

“How long have you been traveling?”

“Three days?” Alex wondered. She tried to keep her answers brief and ambiguous enough so as not to provoke more questions. “I’m not exactly sure. I was sleeping most of the time.”

“And your destination? Something tells me you did not expect to find yourself in a lake.” Alura nodded at the darkened sleeves. “If one wishes to take a bath, they do not do so in Fwosha. There are far better alternatives.”

“Why?” Alex’s spine straightened. Her eyes darted to her hands before feeling her neck for sores. “Is it contaminated?”

“If it was, you would not have made it into the city. Immigration patrol has procedures for that. We like to keep are city as unspoiled as our manners.” Alura took her seat and folded her hands atop the desk. “Which brings me to the question of your claim. How is it that your planet has come to ruin?”

Alex had no idea how to answer. Her concern lied not only in that Alura wouldn’t believe her but that she wouldn’t understand. Was this even the same Krypton that Kara and Astra came from? How far did Alura’s knowledge of Earth and its inhabitants stretch?

The fact that Alex was talking to Alura In-Ze in a very authentic representation of Argo City caused a few theories to sprout. Perhaps this version of Krypton’s Earth remained living and populated. What then? Alex’s claim could be disproven with satellite imaging or a telescope. She’d be branded a liar and imprisoned on some outrageous charge of conspiracy. Ironically enough, the theory held water.

Sighing at the unresponsiveness, Alura tapped a control pad. Movement stirred in the plate at the center of the desk, its contents swirling like quicksilver. “See for yourself,” she said.

A thread of liquid surged up from the pool and transformed into a cluster of star systems. Alex recognized it as the Milky Way galaxy and watched in rapt fascination as one of the single solar systems magnified. It happened like a film reel on fast forward. Alex caught the concentric rings, a storm eye, an asteroid belt, and suddenly the image came to a grounding halt. Speechless, she fell back into her chair, the wind knocked out of her lungs. Floating above the desk was a three-dimensional representation of her home planet.

Alex pointed distractedly. “This is a live image?”

After a cursory nod, Alura asked, “This is your planet, is it not?”

“… Yes.”

“You hesitate.” Overwhelming cynicism deepened the lines in Alura’s face. She cocked her head with severity. “To what end? You land in a remote area outside the city, seek out a high ranking member of the council, and lie about Earth’s destruction. You promise knowledge of certain facts which you claim no one else knows, knowledge which you have yet to prove. What do you gain from these schemes?”

“I’m not lying,” Alex insisted.

Despite her refreshment, she felt like a basin of desert, dried of hope and left scarred by the most hostile, inescapable conditions. She ducked and scrubbed her forehead in exasperation. By the time she raised her head she must have looked fraught with tension.

“The Earth I left behind is dead, perhaps obliterated. For ten months my planet was ravaged by natural disasters. Our magnetosphere collapsed, allowing deadly amounts of heat and radiation to kill our resources. My people became sick and injured; many died before the end. With our supplies dwindled, we fought amongst ourselves for whatever remained. The horror of losing our dignity as a society… it’s nothing compared to saying goodbye to everyone I care about. You might not be able to imagine it, but I dare you to look into my eyes and deny that I had to watch my own sister’s body be pulled out of the debris.”

Silently, Alura rested back and propped her elbow on the chair’s arm. Her thumb and forefinger captured her bottom lip and ran along its length as she made a study. Whatever Alex’s eyes had seen and whatever she had felt seemed to take hold of Alura in a most unusual way. 

Her lips parted, hand coming down to tap absently at her chair arm’s knob. The blinking indicated that her convictions were on shaky ground. “You are suggesting that there is more than one Earth,” she said in a slow, even manner. “That is preposterous. There is only one Earth just as there is only one Krypton.”

Alex shook her head. “Not if I came from another reality. A parallel dimension with a separate Earth and Krypton.”

“Are you sure the crash did not jostle your memory? Did you bump your head upon reentry?” Alura stared, shaking her head. “Traveling through a wormhole is one thing, but entering a parallel dimension is the stuff of literature.”

“In my world it’s called science fiction and I’m sure people back home would agree with you. Please, bear with me here. I’m trying to wrap my head around this just as you are.” Alex closed her eyes, spread her hands, and gesticulated as a means to form a cohesive explanation. “Let’s just say, for argument’s sake, I made it to an alternate universe where I came in contact with a Krypton that is different from my previous impression of it. How do you explain –“

“Excuse me.” Alura held up her palm, eyes squeezed shut as if to keep out the nonsense. “Where is this previous impression coming from? Are you saying that you have visited Krypton before?”

“Well… not in the corporeal sense.”

“Then in what sense?”

Alex rubbed her palms together, muttering, “Maybe I’m going about this the wrong way.”

If put in Alura’s position, she’d have a hard time believing the story as well. Just then, an idea surfaced. The light bulb moment had her reminiscing a similar tactic used in the field. If she could humanize herself – or, in this case, make her situation relative, emotional, intimate – Alura might find reason to believe, understand even.

The light bulb dimmed, threatening to fizzle out. Alex’s idea roamed to its source. Supergirl used to make a connection with her victims to inspire the confidence they needed to escape danger or by emphasizing her foreignness with hostiles in order to make them feel akin to something bigger than solitude and anger.

Alex loved her sister as she only hoped this Alura loved hers. If there was any hope of gaining this woman’s trust, that was where she had to start. And for her love to come across as genuine, she could not lie about where Kara came from. Ultimately, it would disrespect her sister’s memory and that was the last thing Alex wished for.

“Okay.” Alex’s chest swelled over the deep breath. “So I’m going to tell you some things about myself and where I came from. It’s going to sound… preposterous. Some of it will be hard for you to hear. I just ask that you let me tell my story. All of it.”

Alura considered it for a moment before flicking her hand. “You may continue.”

And so Alex did. The story unfolded in a manner not altogether restrained. She was tired of keeping it all in. What was the point? Here sat Alura, Kara’s mother, and so far the only recognizable person Alex had met since leaving her planet to corrode in flames.

The events poured from her lips; everything from her life growing up in Midvale to saying her goodbyes in the underground DEO hanger. She spoke of her resentments when Kara became a Danvers, of living on the bottom rung of a high pedestal, suffering the disappearance of her father, the pressures of school and keeping ties with a dwindling circle of friends and even smaller pool of lovers, her induction into the DEO, and the scars both sustained and bestowed.

When her story approached the period surrounding Myriad, her voice became so small Alura had to lean forward in her seat to catch the glitches. Alex’s breath gave out as the blade slipped between those ribs yet again. She’d replayed the sequence in her mind so many times and it still provoked a reaction. She accounted for the memorial service Kara spoke of and the year spent ignoring the void in her conscience. Then the consequences that came with returning from the dead, the trials and tests and seeking solace in the familiar as well as the novel.

The events that followed were most difficult to recount. Alex tried her best to express the overwhelming joys she and Astra experienced over the course of her pregnancy. Yet for as happily as fate warmed their home, there had been an underlying shadow threatening their future. Those months were a constant tug of war between bliss and peril. Threats of earthquakes, floods, and electrical storms competed on a stage littered with wool bootie socks, rattles, and a puzzle box.

Alex had to pause in swallowing over the lump in her throat. The sound of a dying generator and the smell of burning candles were as perceptible to the day. The hunger pains she was currently experiencing were nothing compared to looking at empty pantry shelves and screaming at the cloudless sky for rain. Cabinet doors slammed with resounding cracks and rising voices rattled the walls as if they occurred only yesterday.

She spoke of every ill disaster and subsequent reaction unleashed in that apartment, realizing that as she did so she was imparting the very same experiences on another. She could no longer call herself the only living witness. Alura may not have heard the screams but she could understand the fights and arguments that led to slammed doors. The corners of her mouth wilted to the futility of waking every morning in a world days from destruction. She sagged with the thought of having to banish her own child into the unknown. Alura heard the story with her ears, and, although she did not live these events, her heart ached as if she had.

Alex wouldn’t have understood the reaction if she hadn’t seen it happening before her very eyes. As much as it eased her mind that Alura was relating to her in some way, however small, she did not interrupt. To ask or beg would have been an insult. She would not use her sorrow to convince others. She would not assume that one glistening eye meant acceptance.

When the story came to a close and when the past merged with the present, Alura had only three words for her. “You are mistaken.”

A note of trepidation rippled through Alex. She furrowed her brow. “What?”

Alura swallowed. Her eyes darted around her desk before latching onto Alex with renewed effort. “I would not send my daughter away like that. Not without her father or I.”

Alex winced in discomfort and shifted in her chair. “This happened on another Krypton. I’m sure you are different from her in some ways. Is…” She wet her lips in hesitation. “Is that the only part of my story that you are unwilling to believe…?”

Alex’s voice dragged off into awkward silence. It seemed premature to bring up sisterly betrayals and Alura looked too shell-shocked to handle a cross examination. And there was no way in hell Alex was going to go easy on her.

Alura sighed heavily and swiped a finger along her brow. “I am getting the sense that this will be a very long night.” She rose from her chair. “If you will excuse me for a moment, I need to make arrangements.”

“Sure,” Alex replied, concerned that she had touched a nerve.

The door remained partially open. Alex didn’t want to be a snoop, but she couldn’t help sneaking a look over her shoulder.

“I’m glad to hear you’ve been practicing your English. Yes, dear. I know. We will do it tomorrow, I promise. Will you put your father on, please?”

Alura combed through her hair and turned. Alex whirled back around and forced her gaze upward in nonchalance. Eavesdropping didn’t bode confidence.

In the wait for Alura to finish her call, it suddenly hit Alex that she had just revealed nearly more about herself to Alura than Astra had ever been told. There was not much more she could say. What could have made her so trusting? Kara’s mother or not, Alura had no reason to help her. The universe was as strange and unpredictable a place as sentient beings. There was no telling how these truths would alter the fabric of her existence or whether it would cause a ripple of change through Krypton.

For a split-second, Alex had held back for fear of changing the future. An inexplicable feeling, though, convinced her that she had not traveled to Krypton’s past. There were differences here, elusive differences she could not describe any more than she could prove them to Alura.

But Alex lost her planet and her family. What more could go wrong? She just wanted someone to be on her side. She just wanted someone to _believe_ her. The loneliness chilling her bones in that pod had been unbearable and yet that was nothing compared to how isolated she felt on this planet.

The snap of the door closing roused Alex from her thoughts. She turned to find Alura leaning back against the door, arms folded, and staring her down like a suspect.

“How would I verify this story?” she asked in a dry, wavering tone.

“It’s not enough that I’m familiar with your family’s history? Their names: Kara, Zor-El, your Aunt Nola…?”

“You would not be the first stalker I’ve had to deal with. I have put many people in prison. Some of whom do not forgive or forget after serving their sentence.”

“But I just arrived,” Alex defended. “You said it yourself. How could I have collected the evidence before those patrolmen arrested me?”

Alura's jaw worked in contemplation.

“Look,” Alex said, “I won’t discredit your intelligence. You’re a judge who is more experienced in these proceedings than I, so, with all due respect, why are you making weak arguments?”

“Perhaps I do not want to believe your story.”

“It’s hard to hear, I get that. But if what you say of my charges is true, I’m in a lot of trouble here. I need your help. No one else will believe me.”

“And what if you are a danger to the public? I need guarantees before I can vouch for you. Character is everything to my people. If after I clear your name an incident occurs, it is _my_ name on the line.”

“You already have the evidence. Check your flight operator’s log. Investigate the crash site. My pod is floating on the surface of Lake Whatever – just as you said. It is the same pod that transported Kara’s cousin to Earth. Verify that the technology is Kryptonian and that’s all the guarantee you should need.”

“Ah, yes, the Kryptonian pod. As if we do not have enough of those falling out of the sky.”

“There was another pod?” Alex turned further in her seat, fastened wrists resting on the arm. “When?”

“Nearly a year ago,” Alura answered. “The technology is remarkable. Our scientists are still studying the ramifications of its discovery. They suggest that it might push the borders of science by a century.”

Alex didn’t have time to worry about intervention theory or the flapping of butterfly wings. “This pod,” she said, neck hairs rippling in suspense, “was a little boy inside? He would have been barely two months old. Gray-green eyes. Dark hair just starting to curl.”

“Yes…” Alura dragged off with an air of disquiet. Before she could press Alex, she noted the shock written on the woman’s face. “Why should this interest you so?”

“I need to see him.” Alex rose too fast for her equilibrium to catch up. She staggered on her feet, vision clouding at the edges. “N…now…”

“You need to calm down. You’ve just been through an ordeal.”

“He’s…” Alex shook her head, grappling for control like a woman on the edge. “He’s my son!”

A shot of pale ran through Alura. “He’s your what?”

“My _son._ The one I sent in Kara’s pod so he would not have to _suffer_.”

If the emphasis was not enough to jog Alura’s memory, Alex didn’t know why she bothered in the first place. Perhaps she had mistaken Alura’s capacity to sympathize.

Alura’s expression revealed more than Alex had ever seen both in the DEO’s AI Alura and in Kara’s Black Mercy hallucination. Her lips parted as some kind of insight rocked through her. She swayed, hand planting itself to the ledge of the bookshelf.

Alex stuttered forward. “Are you alright?”

“This is impossible. He cannot be your son.”

“I was there when Astra gave birth to him. I told you my father was the one who discovered her ability to bear children and broke the news to her. We named our child after him.” Alex shook her head, tears filling her eyes. “He’s not impossible. He’s the best thing that every happened to me. He is the best part of me and Astra.”

Alura leaned back against the dresser edge of the bookcase and covered her face. She looked exhausted. “He arrived on Krypton early morning.” The words were muffled by her hands, but they found a place between them. She stared at the floor as the memory washed over her. “The council did not want media attention, so they sent him to me to deal with. In secrecy. I had no idea just how precarious the situation until I conducted the DNA test in my private lab. I found him to be of Kryptonian and human parentage. I checked a dozen times and still could not believe it, even when the results remained consistent. When researched further, I discovered that his genetics were a sufficient match proving him to be Astra’s biological child.”

“And she had no idea, right?” Alex nudged her towards the truth, bit by bit.

Alura glanced up, revealing a defensive mask. “My sister and I do not have the bond we shared as children, but she would have come to me about this. My assumption at the time was that someone used our birthing matrix to experiment and they tried banishing the baby to cover their tracks. There could have been any number of explanations. I thought it wise to keep secret the child’s heritage. No one would have believed me and, were I to provide the evidence, the child would have been a target of scrutiny not only of the media but of the law. Our society does not practice normal gestational processes when we have the technology to genetically alter each fetus to the parent’s specifications.”

“Sounds familiar.” Alex thought back to Clark’s origins and the stories Astra recounted on the rarity of twins. “That’s how things were done on the Krypton I know. Artificially grown fetuses had been commonplace for so long that the ability to produce naturally was eliminated through their evolution.”

“Then you must know how Astra’s child – _your_ child – threatens Krypton’s order. It is unheard of for two Kryptonians to produce a natural born child, but for a Kryptonian and a human to conceive? News of a cross-species child would cause an uproar, one the government would see fit to silence. There was too much at risk: my job, Astra’s reputation, the child’s life.” Alura slumped to the weight of having to preserve a secret of this magnitude. She glanced at Alex before diverting her gaze and shaking her head. “I have not breathed a word of this to anyone, not even to my husband.”

Taking any consolation in the sharing of this burden didn’t seem to correspond to Alura’s plan, but even someone as conscientious as her could not fight it.

Alex bit her cheek. She would not feel sorry for Alura when she had a son to worry about. “Where is he now?”

“Well, he is with Astra. He has been in her care for the past year.”

Alex nearly choked on her shock. “Excuse me? You just said Astra’s reputation was at stake. You didn’t think handing him over to her would have jeopardized both of their lives?”

“What was I supposed to do? I could not very well keep him. I could not do that to Astra.”

Something in her eyes spoke of guilt. Drudging up a day long past and the choice she made forced her to reevaluate how she carried her posture, where her eyes fell, and when to clear her throat of its tightness.

The fidgeting looked most foreign on Alura. Something in those guilt-ridden eyes sparked warning. Alex stepped back as her joy diminished with a plummeting sensation. Jeremiah may be alive and within reach, but a sickening notion told her not to celebrate just yet.

“She doesn’t know, does she? You didn’t tell her. Why the hell didn’t you tell her?!”

The sudden pacing startled Alura upright. She followed Alex’s movement across the room with a sharp eye. “I called her to meet me soon after I found out. I passed the baby off as an orphan and convinced her to give him a home. She accepted,” Alura rolled her eyes and added gratingly, “after numerous objections.”

“Will you get these goddamned restrains off of me?” Alex growled. “I need to punch something!”

“You need to calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down! It wasn’t _your_ child you had to ship off to outer space. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. He could have died out there. And now I’m hearing that he’s been with Astra this whole time? And she doesn’t even know he’s her son?”

“He _is_ her son. She adopted him.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You couldn’t keep him from her, but revealing his biology was just too much of an inconvenience? What kind of fucked up of logic is that?”

Alura glowered. “I do not have to explain myself to you. Astra is my sister and I made a choice. You say the child is yours, but what guarantee do I have?”

“You mentioned a private lab, right? Take a sample of my blood and test it for genetic markers. If the results prove my relation to Astra’s son then we can continue this conversation.”

“And if there is no match?”

“Then leave me to my fate.” Alex stared with a directness that could not be mistaken. “He _is_ my son. You’ll realize it soon enough.”

“Even if you are his mother, I cannot promise that you will be released. I will test your blood, but in the meantime you will proceed to detainment. I did not keep my nephew out of harm’s way only for his human mother to thrust him in the spotlight.” Alura converged on Alex and asserted her authority with an unwavering expression. “You are not to attract attention. Comply with orders and do not disrespect the guards.”

Alex swallowed if only to distract herself from the chill running up her spine. “If I cannot see my son then I’ll stay with you. I’m not spending the night in a cell.”

“Have a seat so I can take a blood sample.” Alura rounded her desk, opened a drawer, and procured a zippered wallet from its depths. “You must understand. I cannot possibly bring a complete stranger into my home where my daughter lives. You may possess intimate details of my family, but that is no reason to trust you.”

Alex slid to the edge of her seat, failing to stopper the eagerness bubbling up. “How old is she?”

“She is aged thirteen cycles.”

“This just keeps getting more ironic by the minute.”

The dry chuckle caused Alura to pause. She put the kit down and leaned into the edge of the desk. “I cannot ignore the strangeness of the situation,” she said, watching her thumb rub the surface of the desk before looking down on Alex. “It is hard enough to accept the choices I have made in this alternate reality you speak of.”

“I’m not asking you to change. I just need someone to believe me.”

“Even if you manage to convince me, it will take more than uncanny knowledge and a blood test to overturn your charges. They are severe. We do not take kindly to visitors, especially of the non-Kryptonian kind. For some, you will be the first human they have ever seen.”

“I got that reaction when I was apprehended. If this Krypton doesn’t get many humans, I can only imagine how they would treat me in detention.”

The implied statement had Alura frowning. Perhaps it was pity that changed her mind, or compassion. “It is only for one night,” she said in an eerily soft voice. “Keep your head down and maybe you will get through this after all.”

* * *

Alura came home to silence and darkness. It was later than usual. Judging by the rich scent in the air, Zor had made dinner. For a scientist, her husband certainly knew his way around culinary ingredients. Of the two of them, he was the cook. There were setbacks, of course. Zor had an eccentric personality and was predictably absentminded around all things science. However delectable the dishes, his talents tended to create a mess. That’s where Alura diverted to their daughter. Kara did so love to clean up after her dear father if only to rub it in his nose later on when Mom came home.

Alura smiled at the spotless counter and folded washcloth beside the sink. If only Kara could stay with them forever. Her baby was growing up so fast and so too was her nephew, whom Alura couldn’t call so small and squirming as when he first lay in her arms.

Her train of thought stalled in light of recent events. She clicked her tongue at her hedging and proceeded down a small corner staircase. The lower level of the apartment made not a sound in the still shadows of night. Zor built certain modifications that allowed the privacy and security he needed to tinker on his pet projects. One modification of which was ripping out the entire lighting system and replacing it with a voice activation trigger. Unfortunately, his enthusiasm at the time of installation short-circuited the building’s entire solar mainframe and they lost power for forty-eight hours. Alura hadn’t forgotten how many citations she’d waived. Zor was still paying her back in soufflés.

Alura entered the room, not bothering to call up the lights. No need to rustle Zor’s feathers and cause a disturbance amongst his “organized mess.” She rarely encroached on his workspace unless a case proved sensitive or too personal for colleagues’ eyes. She had told Alex of her access to a private lab, but she didn’t have to specify that the lab belonged to her husband.

Alura crossed the room and powered up the equipment. When the system flashed its readiness, she fed the sample into the slot and stroked a few keys. The analysis would only take a few minutes. She spent the first minute fidgeting in place before deciding against it. She turned and closed the door behind her.

Frankly, she didn’t want to know at the moment. There were only so many surprises a person could take and all the anxieties that knotted her stomach that morning one year ago had come back full force. Alura had developed a migraine. She just wanted to sleep and she would have were it not for yet another detour.

On the way to her bedroom, Alura caught a glow of light and paused in the hallway. She approached the door and knocked softly before opening it.

The bed’s haphazard blanket and linens indicated its slept in state but the girl appeared wide awake. Her head snapped up from the game on her datapad. Her smile fell in light of the stern expression reflecting back.

Kara stayed up for Alura. The gesture touched a remorseful part of her that knew how little time she spent at home lately. As touching as Kara’s loyalty, Alura’s expression turned stern.

“We talked about this, Kara. You must get your sleep.”

“What about you?”

“I am an adult who has some very important responsibilities.”

“You had another bad day at work,” Kara gathered, not allowing any room for argument.

With a sigh, Alura acquiesced and went to sit with Kara. “It was difficult,” she admitted, sweeping Kara’s hair over her shoulder and smoothing it down her back. “More so than usual. How was school?”

“Difficult.”

“But not enough to weigh down those lids of yours. What kind of language must I use with your instructors in order for them to see your potential? They advanced you one level when they should have sent you straight up to two. When will –“

“Mom, _please?_ ” Kara’s whine dragged off with the turn of her head. She pulled her legs up and crossed them beneath her. “The kids already look at me like an outsider. They resent me for jumping a full year ahead while they do all the hard work.”

Alura fought the urge to sputter in disbelief, knowing it wouldn’t be taken seriously. “You earned your place,” she declared in a tone she used in court, “and through no help of your father or I.”

“That’s not how they see it,” mumbled Kara. Her eyes wheeled back and softened at the shadows. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. Do you want to go to the gallery with me and see the new pieces?”

“Oh, Kara. I would but I have some urgent matters to attend to.” She blinked in reluctance and her shoulders sagged. “I know how impersonal that sounds, but believe me when I say it is very important work.”

“But not at all the usual important work.”

Alura always preferred Kara’s intuition to the councilmen she debated with on a daily basis. Without breaking her oath, she occasionally deferred to her daughter’s judgment in the broad matters. Be it a moral dilemma or judicial dispute, Alura just trusted that creative spark.

The conflict between pride and foreboding twitched at Alura’s smile. “You see all, my darling.”

“I see you, Mom.” Kara shrugged, expression so accepting it mirrored her sharp maturity. “You can tell me if you’re scared.”

“I’m… uncertain. It’s a different kind of fear.”

Kara’s gaze held her for a quiet moment. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m thirteen now and more than capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know that.”

“But you don’t act like it sometimes. It’s kind of embarrassing in public.”

“I’m your mother. It’s not only my job but my privilege to be sole worrier over Kara Zor-El.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Okay, I think I’m tired now.”

The dramatics provoked a chuckle. Alura took her daughter by the cheeks and looked into her eyes. “Very well. Have a good night. And don’t drag your father to that show. I want to go with you on Sunday.”

“Fine. Goodnight.”

The yawn, genuine as it was, emphasized the routine Alura had taken for granted. She had everything she ever thought possible to gain from her reach. And what did any lower caste woman have? Alura never even considered how her privileges were similar to any other Kryptonian mother much less a human from Earth.

The opportunity presented itself and she didn’t think twice. She seized Kara by the shoulders and pulled her into a hug that could have crushed the bones of a human. “I love you, Kara. You should know I would do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

The air expelled from Kara lungs and rustled the dark waves smothering her face. “Remember when I mentioned the thing about worrying and embarrassment? That was, literally, two minutes ago, Mom.”

“We are in the privacy of our home,” she murmured. Whether Kara liked it or not, Alura clung to her like bark on a tree. “Let me have this moment.”

* * *

Alex opened her eyes and glanced about her surroundings. She failed to gain a sense of warmth or familiarity. With a sigh, she shut her eyes and tried again. No matter how many times she pictured home, the result remained the same in cold gray concrete, dim white lighting that produced a migraine, and a transparent wall which thankfully didn’t reflect its occupant.

Neither the unfamiliar setting nor the overhead light in the hallway could be solely responsible for her restlessness. The cell was just wide enough to fit the length of a sleeping cot and roomy for some three stride pacing. Alex wasn’t normally claustrophobic, but coupled with the depression, the anxiety, and the fear of the unknown, her hands would start to shudder.

Something edible would have benefited her blood sugar and given her a semi-good night’s sleep. Her guard had given her a colorful supper she hadn’t dared tried pronouncing. She ate as much as her stomach lining could take. The first bite nearly burned her tongue. The noodles were seasoned with potent spices that tickled her nose as much as it did her throat. She expected something milder, perhaps tinged in the color of her concrete walls. If this was the blandest dish they served prisoners, she didn’t want to know what flavorful Kryptonian fare tasted like.

Alex only hoped she’d get used to the intense flavors. During her last weeks on Earth, she’d had nothing but boring packaged meals and nonperishables. She hadn’t had a decent meal since that night she sat on her apartment rooftop with Astra, each of them in their foldable chairs and the baby monitor between them. They ate their fill of the last pies before the corner pizzeria closed down for good; entertainment brought to them by a northern lights phenomena right over National City. The aurora of colliding gasses and sun charged particles created a spectacular lightshow that neither of them would forget.

Alex closed her eyes as another swell of grief overcame her. She turned on her side, unable to scrounge the dignity to dry her face or flip the pillow to a fresh side. Finding herself on an alternate Krypton was nothing compared to hearing of Alura’s betrayal. It twisted Alex’s stomach to think that Astra didn’t know Jeremiah was her son – her _true_ son. It would have been one thing to never meet him but another thing entirely for him to live with her as a member of the family and not have the slightest idea that they were of the same blood. How could Alura be so deceitful? Alex couldn’t imagine doing something like that to her own sister. Apparently, back stabbing family wasn’t limited to single universes.

Before any more tears could be shed over the matter, Alex flipped onto her back with a groan and scrubbed at her aching eyes. She must have gotten some sleep because she roused earlier to the sound of pacing patrol boots and the smell of a stale blanket. The alien sights, sounds, and smells had startled her upright and it took a good five minutes of controlled breathing and muttered mantras to return to a calmer state.

“I am Alex Danvers… I am alive… this is real… I am real…”

Relief only lasted so long. There were no windows, no doors, no view outside her cell but a seamless transparent wall. She had nothing to trust but the beat of her own heart and a Timex that read 8:20 AM. She was alive and it was morning somewhere. In the two hours or so of rest that could be grasped, she felt transported back to her cramped pod surrounded by nothingness one moment and then sitting in her favorite corner at Noonan’s sipping on lattes with Kara. Memories of Astra flew through her mind, some with her lying in bed smiling while others showed her hair devoid of a white streak and cradling Jeremiah.

Alex didn’t trust her dreams or her nightmares. They were of such a vivid quality that the concrete walls melted to reveal green grass, blue skies, and a yellow sun.

It would have been easy to fall into those memories and fantasize about a world where things were different. In Alex’s ideal reality, she would have gotten to Cadmus in time to save her father, and together they would have found an alternative solution to setting Astra free of those insipid abilities, one that didn’t result in a release of cataclysmic energy. Kara didn’t have to die in that earthquake and Astra could have joined Alex in watching their son grow up on a healthy Earth.

But these were dangerous fantasies so convincing they threatened to unseat Alex’s sanity. The line setting apart reality from delusion blurred from lack of sleep and food. To make matters worse, there was no telling when it would end. She had no one to tell her how things were going to be or where she belonged. The questions mounted with every passing hour. Uncertainty swallowed her whole and built up her anxiety to its breaking point.

In the cramped banality of Alex’s quarters, an enemy like no other she had faced stole inside and drew her attention to the futility of waiting for a change that would never come. She pitched forward on her cot and clutched the rails with white-knuckled intensity. With nothing to ground her and no one to feel at home with, Alex surrendered.

* * *

Being a high judge of the council allowed Alura some very special privileges. One such privilege put her on the fast track through various security checkpoints and voice print identifications. Armed with the highest authority on these premises, Alura walked straight through the detainment center without pause.

Concealed in the pocket of her robes was the evidence proving Alex’s blood relation to the half-human boy. Thankfully, she didn’t need to use it in persuading the council. In any case, the test was for her own peace of mind, not the councilmembers'. She was more than capable of swaying her colleagues even if the matter did surround as sensitive an individual as a human. Alura won her argument but came away with some strict conditions. She only hoped this Alexandra Danvers would focus on the big picture and not the details of her restrictions.

Upon arriving at the specified level, Alura proceeded to the guard on duty and flashed him the release code. He doubled checked the authorization and waved for her to follow him. They didn’t bother making conversation. Judging by the guard’s trudging footsteps, he wasn’t pleased with the council’s decision.

Alura couldn’t care what he thought of the matter. Detention guards possessed mid-level clearance, so they did not have access to the kind of sensitive intelligence Alura dealt with on a daily basis. Whatever power they did have was exercised in this compound. Guards ruled over their prisoners with all the capacity they were allowed. Whatever dispute this guard had with Alex would have to remain private, not to mention independent from his duties. He had no idea what this human’s arrival meant for Krypton. Alura could only pity the guard’s lack of information.

They made it halfway down the corridor when a strange echo reached them. Alura looked to the cells they were passing and found most of them empty. The length of the hall was long and bisected by other corridors. The detention center was a maze that required the guidance of an officer such as the one beside Alura.

The echo wavered and split into strangled puffs that unnerved Alura. The sound of whimpers quickened her pace. She rushed past her guard and didn’t stop until she found the cell. Beyond the transparent wall, Alex was bent over and clutching the edge of her cot. Restless circles shadowed her eyes and her face was so pale she almost looked translucent. She was suffering from some sort of panic attack.

In a firm voice, Alura urged the guard to hurry and open the door. When he took his time inputting the code, she bit back the impulse to shout. A beep sounded with a wave of his wrist and the wall diffused. Alura passed through and came to a grounding halt.

Gawking, she stood with arms loose at her sides. She had no more knowledge of human psychology than she did of their biological makeup. If their stressors were anywhere near similar to those of the average Kryptonian, she had a few ideas.

The rasping breathes were coming faster as Alura knelt down in front of Alex who didn’t seem to notice despite their close proximity. A shifting presence drew Alura’s attention to the guard and she barked at him to leave them.

The sound of his footsteps faded in the distance, leaving her and Alex in a room resonating in gasps. The cell’s dimensions were smaller than Alura remembered. Only on occasion did she find herself in the detainment area. She always preferred to put a face to the case files rather than hear the prosecution’s blathering of alternative facts.

Alura took note of the slim cot and dreary dimensions, the crusty walls and sickly glow of lighting. She didn’t think these cells were used since the full-scale enhancements made not two cycles ago. A surge of anger rippled through her. Before she could call the guard back, a sudden pressure clamped round her forearm. Alura took it as a last ditch effort for help. She would have attempted to do something about it had Alex not slipped away.

Hands clenched into fists and tucked to a heaving chest. The force with which Alex shut her eyes left crinkles at their corners. Blind to her shaking, she had nothing but the sense of touch to prove how swift her breaths were coming.

Alura let go of her bottom lip and decided to break her silence. “I persuaded the council to drop the charges. They have granted you amnesty.”  The diplomatic manner in which she spoke felt awkward on her tongue, so she let her hands do the work. She gathered Alex’s trembling fists and squeezed lightly. “You do not have to stay here anymore.”

“I… don’t know where I am.”

“You are on Krypton. This is a detainment cell. We met just yesterday. Do you not remember?”

“It's all bleeding together. I can’t make sense of it.” Alex winced, rocking back and forth. “… Confused. So, so, so confused…”

“The confusion is only temporary. After what you have been through, reality must seem difficult to accept. Anxiety is the mind’s way of protecting you from harm or threat, but you are safe now. We can leave here.”

The fingers in Alura’s hands jerked out of reach. Alex took in a series of sharp gasps. “Astra, I… can’t – “

“Your mind is misleading you. You _can_ breathe…”

Alura’s hesitated before ‘my lady.’ Any unmarried woman on Krypton assumed the title, and, although Alex had not mentioned a spouse, Alura would not conform to an assumption. Unsure of the appropriate title for this human, she dismissed her concerns in light of more pressing matters.

“Can you hear me?” Alura rubbed circles into her back as she had with Kara during opening day at the Aquarium Center in Argo City and inside any lift they found themselves in. A pang overcame her. She sensed its origins and reeled in awareness. Alura didn’t want to be responsible for any misfortunes that befell this human. It stemmed not from guilt but somewhere else, a place elusive to her mind’s eye. “Alexandra?”

Alex’s head rose. The shimmering in her eyes and how she held all those tears in without losing a single drop astounded Alura so much she couldn’t look away. The panting soon slowed to long, measured breathes. Something passed between them. It could have been trust or compassion. Alura wasn’t sure what to call it, but she had the strangest feeling it was the beginning of something new.

“You will see Misha again,” said Alura. “I will make sure of it.”

Another round of tears glistened in Alex’s now rounding eyes. The gasp transformed her from shock to awe and Alura couldn’t be sure if this news upset her or humbled her.

Finally, Alex choked out, “Misha?”

“Misha.” Alura nodded and reached out. Inexperience stayed her hand before she followed through on a whim. She squeezed reassurance into Alex’s shoulder while simultaneously marveling at the novelty of the gesture. “Astra named him after our –“

“Uncle.”

The certainty caused Alura to furrow her brow. Then the previous night surfaced and so too the tales of Shade Canyon and her sister’s deep admiration towards their father’s brother. “Yes. I take it your Astra recounted stories of him?”

Nodding, Alex sniffed and dried her chin with the back of her sleeve. Her chest hitched over a hiccup. “So you believe me?”

“I do, yes. I’m sorry for what you have been put through. I am so sorry.”

“It’s not as if I didn’t deserve some of it. I got what was coming to me.”

The absurdity tightened her grip on Alex’s shoulder to an intensity that spurred a wince. “Apologies. I don’t…” Embarrassment tinged her cheeks and she unclenched her fingers. “No one should have to watch their planet crumble. You may have made mistakes but none that would merit the extinction of your people. You should not dishearten so.”

“Why not?” Alex threw up a hand and let it slap to her thigh. “It’s not like I have to impress anyone. Apparently, the bar is set pretty low for humans around here.”

“That is self-pity talking. You have not lost everything.”

“I missed a year of my son’s life. He wouldn’t recognize me any more than Astra would. I’m no more than a stranger to them.”

“That may be true, but it doesn’t have to be that way for long. Don’t you wish to change things?”

“I thought change was a threat to your people’s way of life? Wouldn’t I just be a nuisance?”

“Not if you have hope. It is not my intention to tell you how to live your life. But you asked me to help you. Will you allow me to help you get your family back, Alexandra?”

Alex rested back on her heels and let out a tension-filled breath. Her cheeks had regained some color, but her eyes still held a glassy quality. Suspicion tilted her head. “Why would you go out of your way to side with a human when it might endanger your job and _your_ family. I was just a terrorist to you yesterday. What’s changed?”

Sighing, Alura leaned back and clasped her hands in her lap. Sudden contemplation bowed her head and deepened the lines in her forehead. She spoke above a whisper, not in fear but in reverence for the words.

“In the two hundred cycles I have lived on this planet, I have not seen any reason to question my government or my people’s way of life. After two hundred cycles the sky hasn’t changed color, the grass continues to grow, and the High Council continues to act as a system of checks and balances. Nothing much has happened in two hundred cycles, but that doesn’t diminish the influence of one individual. I never considered what my life would have been like if it hadn’t been mapped down to the vocation. It never occurred to me that freedom coincided with choice.”

Alura’s eyes, roused like a flame of enlightenment, met Alex. “But now all these…” she wet her lips in search for the right word, “… all these possibilities are surfacing, daring me to wonder. And I wonder if it is time that change came to Krypton.”

“Me?” Alex seemed revolted by the attention but unable to tear her gaze away from the confidence staring back. “But I’m… I’m nobody. I’m just a human.”

The corners of Alura’s mouth tilted up and she sputtered a self-depreciating chuckle. “Oh, normally, I would agree with that, however the assertion is quite contrary to your story. The gentleness in your voice when you speak of Kara… the conflict in your eyes as you recount every battle with Astra… the love that clenched your fists when I dared challenge your motherhood.” Alura shook her head, grinning lightly. “You have more nerve than some of the Kryptonians I’ve come across. If you can convince me, you can certainly convince the rest of us.”


	2. First Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kryptonese is quoted within < >
> 
> A "cycle" is a Kryptonian year.

A low trill beckoned from the far reaches of Alex’s mind. It didn’t pose an annoyance until its pitch increased to a level that roused her from slumber. Alex rolled over, eyes still shut, and depressed the alarm clock. Lying on her back, she scrubbed her eyes and primed herself for another uneventful day.

After a few minutes of mental preparation, she kicked off her linens and groaned out of bed. The persimmon rays of morning peeked from under the window blinds. She turned a dial on the wall so that her view parted for the morning commuters zooming to their destinations.

Alex couldn’t figure out why Rao, while known in an alternate universe to display a red tint, would exhibit a slight divergence in this reality. Zor had explained in advanced Layman’s terms that the molecules in Krypton’s atmosphere filtered out the light’s properties, so that by the time it reached the lower atmosphere it gave off a dark orange hue. Rao, like Earth’s sun, tended to scatter different colors depending on the density of the air and where the sun appeared which gave the sky its varied reds, oranges, and sometimes purples. Simply put: the atmosphere of this Krypton comprised a different makeup of particles, perhaps less dust, pollution, and water vapor than its twin. Moreover, Zor’s insight led Alex to the belief that this Krypton is a younger, healthier version of Kara’s eco-ravaged homeworld. Thankfully, imminent planet collapse was just one less thing for Alex to worry about.

She scanned the traffic from her bedroom window. Living in one of the high-rise apartment complexes of Argo City allowed her a view of luxury transports and affluent communities. With a sigh, she turned from the masses who had jobs, families, and purpose and looked at what she had. The limited décor made her feel very small in a large, alien world. The room consisted of basic elements such as an armoire, a small vanity, and a corner armchair. The queen bed was situated below the panoramic window and received the most use out of all the furniture pieces.

With every day Alex grew more used to her surroundings. The guest bedroom was a contribution from Alura and Zor-El and hers to make as her own. Personalizing the space may have facilitated a sense of belonging if Alex had any belongings. She arrived on Krypton with no possessions to incorporate into the space. Interior decorating hadn’t been her foremost priority when preparing to leave Earth, however, now that she was settled on permanent territory, she couldn’t help but scold herself for not packing anything.

Unfortunately, no job meant no income which left very few opportunities for Alex to give the bedroom a homey feel. Alura pledged to acquire anything she needed during her stay, but Alex only accepted the bare essentials. Alura had already helped release her from a prison sentence; Alex would not infringe upon her charity any more than necessary.

Before Alex could begin changing, a knock came at her door. “Come in.”

The door slid open to reveal a familiar blonde at its threshold. “Good morning,” Kara greeted softly, cheeks tinged pink.

“Morning.” Relieved by the diversion, Alex dropped back down to the bed and sat cross-legged.

Kara shuffled in just enough to rest her head against the door frame. “You’re still in your pajamas,” she remarked, picking absently at the door jamb despite its smooth finish.

Alex grinned at the girl’s reticent behavior. She had quickly grasped that the silent puppy eyes was her asking something prohibited. Kara had quite a few of those thoughts, which made her near intolerable to please. But Alura and Zor adored her so much they gave in to her whims – within reason.

“It’s hard to find the motivation when there’s no place to be.” Alex patted the spot beside her. Kara surprised her by shaking her head. “Something wrong?”

“I’m not supposed to sit on the bed after I’m dressed. My clothes will wrinkle.”

The flowing material of Kara’s trousers reminded Alex of yoga pants. They already appeared wrinkled from where she sat. “Your mom’s at work, isn’t she?” At Kara’s nod, she smiled. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”

It was all the convincing she needed. “Mm, alright.” She crawled in next to Alex and matched her in crossed legs and hands relaxed in her lap. “It’s Saturday, you know.”

“So I gathered.”

“Do you want to go out? There’s this great park with an enormous fountain. It’s just two blocks away.”

The enthusiasm on display softened Alex’s heart. There was so much of her Kara in this 13-year-old girl it caused her to pause and remember her place. It took time for Alex to curb the urge to reach out and hug this Kara to pieces. Every fiber of her being wanted to develop a similar bond with Kara as she had the first time around. But she held back. This was not Earth and Kara wasn’t her foster sister. Her parents were alive and she had a home on Krypton. There was no place for Alex and no reason to intrude on this lovely family.

She sighed. She would love nothing more than to explore Argo City with Kara as her guide. She’d been pent up inside the house with nothing but television programs to occupy her time. And they all were in Kryptonese.

“I would love to,” Alex said, “but that’s probably not such a good idea for my image. It’s only been a week since the news broke of my arrival here. For the people in this city, accepting that a human has landed is one thing, but _seeing_ one is bound to stir trouble. Your mom has been really great in protecting my legal interests and I don’t want to make things difficult for her. There’s only so much she can do to keep things confidential.”

It nearly broke her heart to say it. The falling expression didn’t make it any less painless.

“That doesn’t sound fair.” Kara’s eyes implored widely to her words. “You shouldn’t have to hide.”

Alex shrugged. “I can’t change how people feel towards my kind. I may not have done anything bad, but I happen to be the only human in their vicinity and they need someone to despise. I guess that makes me their de facto punching bag.”

“Which should be more reason for you to go out and show people that you’re not a bad person.”

“People fear what they don’t understand, and from what I hear you Kryptonians don’t get many humans around here.”

Kara thinned her lips before speaking matter-of-factly. “I’m not afraid of you. You can be kind of weird sometimes, but that doesn’t bother me.”

Alex chuckled at the gall of the 13-year-old. In her amusement, she almost reached out to take Kara’s hand; it was a small gesture but one she needed in the moment. These Kryptonians were awfully sparse in their gestures of affection. She’d witness Alura offer various tokens and, on occasion, seen Zor lay his hand on Kara’s head. Alex got the impression that exchanging physical acts with those outside one’s family was prohibited or, at the very least, unconventional in their society.

Afraid that Kara might not know how to take the gesture, she stared at the hand in longing. “Well, you are braver than most Kryptonian adults. Not to mention, they haven’t been living one room over from me the past few days. But your mom’s fears are not misplaced. Whether intentionally done or not, I could upset the balance here.”

At that moment, a tone sounded from the foyer and the front door hissed open. Shuffling footsteps made their way in and followed with the sound of a bag dropping. “Anyone home?” came an amused voice.

The sound of Alura’s voice provoked panic in Kara. She turned hastily to Alex.

“Go, go!” prodded Alex. She bit down on a chuckle as Kara bounded from the bed and pressed herself into the wall. She folded her arms over her chest to perfect the nonchalance. It was near perfect enough until her shoulders began jiggling.

Alex mock glared at the giggle. “Shh.”

The footsteps drew near and soon brought Alura to the open doorway. She touched the doorframe and raised her brows expectantly. “Hello, Alexandra. Have you seen –“ She turned her head and frowned at Kara. She failed to pick up on the wink from Alex. “Well, what are you doing here? Have you finished your homework?”

“Just,” replied Kara, rising to the balls of her feet. “I’m taking a break.”

Alura’s head rose and fell through her hum of suspicion. She addressed Alex. “How would _you_ like to take a break?”

The offer perked Alex up. She wrestled the eagerness out of her tone, just in case her assumption proved wrong. “A break?”

“You’ve been shut up in these quarters for a week now. Most of the news has faded into gossip. There are far more pressing matters the media is tending to than the coming of a dull human.” After a beat, Alura’s mind caught up with the word and she quickly added. “No offense was intended. I only –“

“It’s fine.” Alex had grown used to it after the second day. Watching the news every night, she could now grasp certain Kryptonese words, a few of which included “human” “insipid” and “primitive.” A surge of anxiety spread through Alex. She swallowed before asking, “Are you sure this is a good idea? I’m completely fine just hanging out here for a while.”

“For how much longer? They will have to get used to seeing a human walking around. It is inevitable that you should leave these walls. I think it’s time patience be rewarded, don’t you?”

Before Alex could prepare another excuse, Kara’s glowing reached its breaking point.

“Can I come?” She had her hands clasped behind her back and was tilting her head up at her mother. “Please?”

The imploring expression weaseled a response from Alura. She softened slightly and touched Kara’s chin. “You have not finished your chores. We will revisit the discussion when you are finished.”

“But that’ll take _forever_. This is Alex’s debut! I have to be there!”

“I’m sure Alexandra would be grateful for your support but perhaps another time.” Ignoring the pout, Alura turned back to Alex. “Have you been working on your Kryptonese?”

A bit behind in the conversation, Alex’s eyes shifted between the mother and daughter. There was so much to glean from these exchanges; it afforded more education in household life and familial roles than the television programs that made her head spin. Alex blinked in comprehension. “Yeah, Kara’s been very helpful.”

Kara cocked her head pointedly. “You need work on your word order.”

“I can’t help it,” she defended. “The only other language I know of that has a flexible subject-object-verb order is Russian and I’m kind of rusty in that area.”

Kara raised a quizzical brow. “What’s… Russian?”

“Another language on Earth.” She noted how they broke eye contact and thinned their lips as if in second-hand mourning. “Hey, you guys don’t have to do that. I’m not going to fall apart at every mention of my home planet. I may be human, but I’m not fragile.”

Somewhat satisfied, Alura nodded before turning to the side. “Kara, please go back to your room and finish your homework.”

“But I can do it later. Alex needs me.”

“I made my decision and it is final.”

Kara’s shoulders fell instantly. She abided with a crinkling half smile at Alex before trudging out. When out of earshot, Alura clasped her hands in front of her and turned serious with a dip of her chin.

“You look pale,” she remarked in a strangely monotone voice. “A walk will do you good.”

“That’s not why you’re pressing the issue, is it?”

“When you accepted my offer to stay here, I proposed a bargain, do you remember?”

Alex felt a darkness swirling in her chest. The stirrings could have been quelled from a sparring session, but the opportunity proved difficult to grasp when she was confined to an apartment teeming in precious décor and art pieces.

“As per the terms, I haven’t sought out Jeremiah or Astra,” said Alex. “I’ve held up my side of the bargain.”

“Which is why I keep the Council’s attention from wandering back. I’m not doing this for you alone. Protecting you is as much for the safety of my family.” When Alura sighed, a bit of her stiffness melted away. “I recognize the sacrifice you are making. It cannot be easy being parted from those you love. Your son is living in this city, Alexandra, and you have not made one move towards him.”

Alex’s gaze stole away to the corner of her bed. She traced the ripples in the blanket, ignoring the substance welling in her eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“You have asked me to remove all photographic evidence from this house.” Alura raised her brow. “That is more than complicated.”

“I know you don’t understand my need for… distance. Nonetheless, I’m grateful that you’ve taken steps to make this more bearable.”

Alura folded her arms over her chest and leaned back against the door frame. She granted a shrug and said, “I may permit this detachment you’ve seemed to claim, but that doesn’t mean I agree. This doesn’t have to be a torment. You are not a martyr. We could make the transition less jarring for everyone’s sake, not only yours.”

“And a walk in the park is your way of assimilating me into society? That’s the strategy you’re going with?”

“It is a start.”

Alex felt her resolve crumbling. She ducked to scrub her forehead. Shutting her eyes, she allowed the images to surface. The loved ones Alura spoke of still had shape and color. Astra still possessed her usual bravado in twinkling eyes and a half grin. She looked so beautiful whether she wore a kryptonite blocker and a disdainful expression or nothing but bed sheets. As more images flooded in, Alex saw the fur of a brown bear that yielded to Jeremiah’s tiny clutching fingers. His toothless, pink mouth gnawed on the back paw, provoking an unavoidable fluttering in her chest.

She needed to see him. It hurt so indescribably to be away from her flesh and blood, knowing he lived on the same planet, in the same city. After the distance she traveled and the people she left behind to die, she finally had her son within reach. It felt unbearable not to have him cradled in her arms and squirming from kisses to his toes. Alex’s worst fear would have been too much to tolerate. Losing those faces and all the memories that came with them would be the death of her.

“Alright,” she said, settling it with a firm nod. “It’s not a leap but it’s a step in the right direction.”

“We can postpone it another week if you are not up to this.”

“I’ve waited long enough. You’re right – I’m only delaying the inevitable. It’s time to get this over with.”

Alura nodded before running her gaze down Alex. “In that case, you best put on something more suitable.”

She looked down at her nightshirt and blushed. “Right.”

* * *

Alura guided Alex towards a more private sector where the passersby exercised a bit more restraint. The gawking here was minimal, although not devoid of the occasional brow raise. They entered a piazza surrounded by buildings. Their prism-like architecture made them recognizable as the technologically advanced hub for which they were styled as.

As they strolled down the walk, Alura noticed Alex pulling at the sleeves and collar of her clothes. They were more close fitting than the attire she first arrived in. The high collar tunic tapered just below her waist. The trousers appeared to fit well and so too the knee-high boots. They were sand-colored and the sleeves were already losing their impeccable crispness. Alex must have observed how many women presented in robes and gowns because she couldn’t stop smoothing her palms down the sides of her pants.

If she felt self-conscious of her figure, Alura couldn’t understand why. Alex possessed an aesthetically pleasing shape and height. She may not carry herself with the same elegance known to those of the elite, but she showed grace in table manners and every day courtesies.

“Are you not comfortable?” Alura asked.

“It’s not that. I just have a tendency to fidget. I’m not used to all this attention.”

“Would you prefer to turn back? You do not have to subject yourself to such scrutiny.”

“Really, I’m fine.”

Alura nodded and looked ahead. “They will not approach you while I am present. This is one of the reasons why I prohibited Kara from joining. Although there is no precedent for a human strolling in public, I thought it necessary to take precautions. Which is why I advised you to keep out of sight the first few days. A gradual assimilation into society is best. To be honest, it is more for their sensibilities than yours. We do not want to alarm them unnecessarily.”

Alex conceded with a nod. “I’m grateful for all you have done for me. You and Zor and especially Kara. She’s very open-minded.”

Alura smiled. “Perhaps too eager though?”

“She can be.” Alex chuckled. “But her heart’s in the right place. I’ve… I’m sorry if I’m overstepping here, but I’ve noticed how she spends most of her off time at home. Does she not have many friends? Or do I just have a different perception of school social norms?”

Alura led them past a black obelisk monument inscribed with the names of distinguished scientists. “When you asked me why I was helping you, I did not express the crux of my reasoning.” While she did not seem upset by Alex’s line of questioning, her deliberate squint against the sun did indicate some discomfort. “Kara’s destiny is to become a member of the Intellectual Guild, but since she was a young child the art galleries have always drawn her in. Although she doesn’t admit it, she is beginning to resent the El side of the family. I think she’d rather spend the rest of her life painting portraits and attending art shows rather than studying microbes and developing scientific theories.”

Two men in stark white uniforms made a wide birth around them. They glowered in passing. Alura continued as if nothing happened.

“It’s one of the reasons why she finds it difficult to connect with the other students. You see, depending on which vocation the Codex assigns a newborn, every Kryptonian is intended for a particular school.” Alura gesticulated by offering her hand, palm up. “Say that you were born to become a legal advisor. Your parents would apply to one of the elementary schools and from there you would proceed to a specialized secondary school that provided emphasis on judiciary careers. From there you would graduate to your technical training.”

Alex frowned. “So the kids in Kara’s class are all studying to become scientists when all she wants to do is paint. No wonder she’s so independent.” She stretched her gaze up to the top of the nearest complex as if trying to grasp a distant memory. “That’s so much pressure.”

“Again, she does not admit her feelings on the matter. Although it is not uncommon for adults to change vocations, that doesn’t take away from the contempt a family receives. The El’s are a highly revered house. The last thing Kara wants to do is disappoint her father.”

“What about you? Would you accept your daughter’s deviation?”

“It is not that simple, Alexandra. You will come to understand that things are not as they seem. You may have read up on Krypton’s principles of behavior but you have not lived them.”

“Yet you are hoping my presence here is enough to upset the status quo,” Alex gathered. “You think that if I can make it easier for Kara to choose, people will see change as a good thing. Excuse my bluntness but that sounds an awful lot like wishful thinking.” Alex shook her head, chuckling. “And you say I’m naïve.”

“I did not mean it like that. Perhaps we should not speak anymore on the subject.” Alura caught sight of a bench and proceeded in its direction. “Let us sit here.”

The bench was situated near a tree well past its prime. Its height and lush quality created a canopy that shaded them from the heat of a late morning sun. They settled back into the bench. While Alura looked up at the seafoam green leaves, Alex scanned the lawn.

“What is this place?”

The sheer curiosity in the voice had Alura taking in the sight as well. “Argo City Institute of Experimental Technology. The facility answers directly to the Science Council.”

Alex’s eyes swept over the grounds and caught sight of its youthful crowd. “It’s a school, too?”

Alura hummed an affirmative. “You will not find a more accepting place. Out of all Kryptonians, these physicists and engineers will exhibit far more sympathy to your plight.”

Alex cast her a baleful look. “You mean they’ll see me as a lab rat.”

“Better that than a prisoner.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Give them a chance.” Alura’s voice grew distant as she scanned the pedestrians walking to and from complexes. “You may be surprised.”

“That’s easy for you to say. It’s not like you’re the one…” Alex dragged off with a hitched gasp.

Alura followed her wide-eyed shock to the dark clothed female walking across campus. She was amongst the minority of women dressed in trousers – hers a two-piece uniform near similar in color to her loosely curled hair and alike in slimness to Alex’s. As the woman drew closer, Alura made out the slim white trim along the shoulders and arms, a color representing the Intellectual Guild’s biological sciences branch.

The woman’s path was too direct to be coincidence. Alex seemed to take quick note of this.

“Alura…” Alex’s voice shook. Her hands became unsteady, traveling from her lap to the bench and ended up pulling on her shirt collar. “She’s coming this way.”

“I see that. Shall we meet her halfway? It would be rude not to say hello.”

Not waiting for confirmation, Alura rose and strolled ahead. Part of her profited amusement at how Alex blundered to catch up. By the time she did, Alura was looking into a mirror.

The woman bowed her head slightly before clasping her hands behind her back. <Sister.>

Alura bowed in return. <Astra, how are the trials coming along?>

<Tiresome and steadily approaching stagnation. If the council does not grant our appeal for more funding by the end of the cycle, we are done.>

<I’m sorry to hear that. Have you sought out Zor for support? I’m sure he could put in a good word.>

<If I had asked him, you would have heard of it.> Astra eyes narrowed. <And you should know better than to think I would accept charity. I do not require anyone’s good word, least of all your husband’s.>

Though it meant to sting, Alura shrugged it off with ease. <And how is yours in all this? Supportive as usual?>

Eyes rolling to the jab, Astra flicked a windswept strand of hair from her face. <He has his own troubles. Unrelated to mine, fortunately. His studies in geophysics are not nearly as barrier breaking as molecular neuroscience.>

<Mm,> hummed Alura, well acquainted with the egotism of that statement. <What is?>

The sarcasm flew right over Astra’s head for she had at that moment taken notice of the company in their midst. <Well, as I live and breathe.> The gratification dripped thickly from her tongue. It matched her once over in a seamless marriage of superiority – much like how a flame dragon would look at an insect. <The arrival, I presume?>

Alura inclined her head with a severity that did not go unnoticed. “English, if you please.”

Astra eyes rolled up and over before falling on Alex with disdain. “These past few days I have heard of nothing but your new human pet. How is it that I am only meeting her now?”

“Manners, Astra,” chastised Alura. “She is my guest, Alexandra Danvers.” She turned to the side. “Alexandra, this is my sister, Astra In-Ze.”

Alex nodded vaguely, eyes never leaving the splash of white in Astra’s hair.

Astra conceded with an air of annoyance. She bowed her head and acknowledged, “My lady.” The civility she forced into her grin did not make her any more approachable. If anything, it unsettled Alex.

Alura felt the bump into her shoulder and the subsequent stab of guilt. She felt responsible for Alex’s rattled state. The poor human was upset by her efforts to mend wounds. Alura took pity on her by settling a hand onto her back. Minute tensions loosened beneath her fingers, though the gesture did not inspire enough assurance to steady Alex’s heartbeat. She half wondered if Astra cared enough to notice. The effect she had on her “pet” was glaring.

Astra’s eyes measured Alex again, this time with a softened edge of curiosity. “You do not look shocked.”

Alex’s throat bobbed. She cleared it with a small cough. “Um, pardon?”

“She speaks,” mocked Astra. “Kryptonian twins are rare. Although my sister and I are unlike in manners, we have identical features. You act as if this is a natural occurrence.”

She recovered quickly. “Identical twins are not as rare where I'm from.”

“Yes, Earth.”

“My home,” Alex maintained, a bit of annoyance slipping in. “Unless there’s a law against freedom of expression around here, I will take pride in where I come from.”

“Very well,” Astra said, as if she were ticking of a chore on her itinerary: take the human seriously, smile, act contrary to her own judgment. Check, check, and check hard enough to crack the datascreen.

Alura decided to change the subject. “How is Misha?”

Astra paused at his mention. Her expression remained guarded, more so than Alura knew it to be whenever the subject arose. The suspicious glance in Alex’s direction indicated why.

“He is well,” Astra answered. “I have successfully weaned him off the bottle. Although he still will not let go of me. It is as if he’s actively ignoring the past cycle.”

Alura allowed herself a small, private moment to enjoy the irony. “He thinks you nursed him. Take it as a compliment, Astra. They come few and far between with every passing cycle.”

“I’d rather take it as an act of defiance. Not only does it show how similar we are, it also hints at his ability to develop under pressure. He will need all the resilience to succeed in this world.”

“Thinking on the bright side. How artful.”

Throughout the conversation, Alex panned between them as a spectator would at a match. She drank it up in silence, swallowing frequently and blinking to excess.

Astra didn’t seem to be losing steam. She could spend the next hour talking about her son and barely scratch the surface of generalities (because she never went any deeper than that with her own sister). In an effort to curb the longing it would result, Alura lured Astra away from talk of Misha and towards light banter – and in English, so as not to exclude Alex.

The exchange hardly touched beyond the pleasantries shared between sisters. She and Astra may be twins, but they shared little apart from a resemblance. Astra’s independence always grated against her, especially when they were children. Where Alura abided by parental authority, her twin would act the exact opposite. She knew how insufferably Astra thought of her tidy path in life. Astra made it her business to actively ignore public opinion, a habit which caused her supporters to distance themselves from the repercussions. If anything, their personalities repelled rather than attracted one another.

During the discussion, Alura noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Alex had gone sheet white and looked to be swaying in place. Alura acted immediately.

“I do not wish to keep you any longer, sister. I’m glad we could catch up. It’s been far too long.”

“In that case, we should have dinner soon. Misha ought to see his cousin.”

“Kara would love that. I will confer with Zor and we shall set a date.”

“It’s been engaging as always.” Astra traded a bow before throwing a cursory tilt at Alex. “Until next time, Lady Danvers.”

If Alura didn’t know any better, she’d think Alex curtsied. A consequence of her shock, no doubt.

Astra flashed a wicked smirk as if she knew her effect from the start. Without further ado, she spun on her heel and strode off.

The sun had risen to its highest point in the sky and beat down on them with a vengeance. Alex’s swaying became more noticeable in the heat of midday.

Alura sighed in sympathy. She would have to get Alex back before she fainted. A human lying unconscious in the middle of campus would not fail to attract attention.

* * *

Alex didn’t break her silence until they arrived back at the apartment. There was too much to sort out between seeing Astra again and the news of Jeremiah. The shock of hearing someone else speak of him, someone who looked like his mother but in essence was a complete stranger, rendered Alex mute. She knew it would be difficult, treating this woman as if they never bled for each other, but the meeting on campus proved one thing for certain: this was not her Astra.

She couldn’t have foreseen it. She remembered how her heart felt lodged in her throat when she spotted Astra from across campus. It swelled from a pea sized lump to an apple as the apparition approached closer. In the fraction of a second that she accepted it as reality, a flurry of questions flooded her mind. What should she do? What should she say? What was the proper form of address on Krypton? Was bowing a ladylike greeting? Or was it a curtsey? Alex’s mind hastily filtered through all the stories from Astra and Kara and came up blank. Before she knew it, Astra dove into rapid Kryptonese and decidedly ignored Alex in the process.

That’s when it hit her. The realization smacked into Alex with more force than a pod colliding into a lake. Astra had the same eyes yet no love or recognition reflected back. Alex felt like an animal in a glass cage. Astra exuded such superiority in her bearing she must have been imagining how easy it would be to snap her miserable existence in two. The spectacle triggered some sort of amusement because her eyes wouldn’t stop gleaming (and not in an admiring capacity). It bothered Alex so much that she sought refuge with Alura.

That person Alex met not thirty minutes ago seemed a shadow of the Astra she met on Earth, and still… a part of Alex was relieved to see her alive. This was the woman before Myriad and Fort Rozz, a Kryptonian that chose her own life separate from the Codex. Although she may not have led an army, she was a parent and the lonely heart in Alex hoped that it would be enough.

By the time the door to Alura’s home sealed shut behind them, Alex’s head had cleared. Zor had not returned yet from his errands and Kara’s bedroom door remained shut. They finally had the privacy to exchange words.

“You knew she was going to be there.” Alex stopped at the corner of the kitchen counter and turned. Her expression lacked malice. “You set the whole thing up, didn’t you?”

Alura braved the accusation by facing her directly. “It was not my intention to deceive you. If you knew you were going to see her, it would have made you anxious. I did not wish to burden you unnecessarily.”

“So everything you said before about patience being rewarded…?”

“I meant every word. You have shown your loyalty by not seeking out Astra and Misha. Sacrifice like that does not go unnoticed. I knew by now that if you had any intention of seeing them, you would need a push.”

“You overstepped, Alura.”

“Yes, and I apologize.”

“That isn’t like you, is it? Crossing lines?”

“I suppose not.” Her frown melted to a wry tilt of her mouth. “It would appear my hopes for Krypton are being fulfilled. You are becoming a force of change, Alexandra.”

The sly amusement in her voice had Alex turning away. She palmed her enflamed cheek, unable to believe all that occurred in a morning’s mundane walk. “That’s not exactly what I came here to do. My one purpose was to find my son and raise him how Astra and I wanted him to be raised. He’ll never know what she sacrificed for him. And for me. I feel like I’m betraying her by keeping my distance.” Devastation wilted Alex’s features. She shook her head, imploring with Alura. “How can I begin to gain your sister’s trust? Based on what I saw today, she won’t be able to look past the human in me.”

“It cannot be done overnight. It will take time to earn Astra’s trust. You of all people know what that is like. The fact that she is a mother now makes her all the more defensive. If what you witnessed today disheartens you, it would be a mistake to give up. Astra may seem… insensitive on the surface. That is the very consequence of the path she chose for herself. Her obstinacy will shut you out, but if you try hard enough, I promise that you will find value in the effort. When you become the thing which Astra protects, she will show you the capacity of her faithfulness.”

“She didn’t show it today,” Alex pointed out.

Alura smiled. “I know her better than anyone. That is why she gives me so hard a time.”

The logic fell on deaf ears. Alex was too busy recalling all the ways her Astra showed devotion to her family. They were acts of love, every one rich in haste and disregard for her own life. Most split-second decisions incurred nasty outcomes for everyone involved, but with Astra she shouldered the repercussions before anyone could bat an eye. The evidence displayed in her voice – when it shook at every danger approaching Kara and when it sang melodies to a fussing newborn. Even in the beginning when the battle lines were drawn there was a respect between them.

Nothing of the sort hinted between her and this other Astra. Alex had a knack for reading body language and she detected such ill potential in Astra to become the woman who stole her breath away. Alura was wrong. Alex could not act as a force of change when Astra looked down on her. If she could not convince the mother of her child, what was the point of trying with anyone else?

“You have nothing to fear from her.”  

The soft insistence warred at Alex’s judgment. She saw how Alura closed the distance to afford her enough breathing room. It only made her feel like a caged animal again.

“That’s not the point,” she contended. “You still haven’t revealed the truth to Astra. I get that you want to deliver the news at the most opportune time, but when will that be? We could be waiting until Jeremiah is ten years old. I can’t wait that long, Alura.”

“How am I supposed to explain to her that a half-human, half-Kryptonian child is her own blood? I couldn’t even explain it the first time.” Alura surged forward, pressing her hands together and slicing them down to her point. “There is a balance here that must not be upset. Astra and Non are married… everyone outside this room is under the impression that Misha is their adopted child. They have reputations, respect amongst their peers, and Astra’s research in particular is very close to her heart. For an outsider – a human, no less – to come and disrupt that balance would reflect badly on their family. Whatever your reservations, you have only been here a week. That is not enough time to reap judgment from their life.”

The muscles in Alex’s jaw ached. “I am not some homewrecker with a vendetta. I just think you’re being a little selfish here. You know that once Astra finds out she’ll come straight at you. And it’s justified, don’t you think? After all, you practically threw a baby in her arms and then told her he was an orphan.”

If the accusation offended Alura, she didn’t show it. “You are not thinking of the consequences,” she said, voice deepening. “When it comes down to it, this is not about you or I. The decision I made a cycle ago was not made lightly. If Astra knew he was her son, she would have reacted in a way that…”

An unsettling feeling crept along the back of Alex’s neck. She frowned at Alura’s sudden pause. “Reacted how?”

“I do not mean to give you the impression that she would love him differently, but she would not raise him like she does now. Their attachment would make her see the importance of legacy. I didn’t want her to treat him as I do Kara. Astra has a will that I do not. There are times I wish I could go against the grain as she does.”

“And you think that if she accepted him as her rightful heir that she would conform to Krypton’s ways.”

“My sister is faithful to blood bonds in the most arbitrary of ways.” Alura’s fingers went to clutch the bridge of her nose and she closed her eyes. “Steps were taken. Yes, I lied, and I take full responsibility but not for my sense of comfort and not for my relationship with my sister.” She shook her head to a notion and placed her hands on her hips. “Any chance of salvaging what I had with Astra is long gone. If she wants to condemn me for giving that boy a home then so be it.”

Alex bit her bottom lip to a conflict with no solution. Although Alura detected reservations, she was wrong about their target. Alex hadn’t forgotten the rivalry between the twins. Astra grew up as the child in the shadows, the “other one” whom society forced to work for their attentions.

This may not be the same Krypton, but Alex could not believe that they were so far removed. She couldn’t take the chance that Alura wanted every nice thing for her sister. If there was any possibility that Alura was keeping her from Astra out of jealousy, she couldn’t be so naïve as to think Alura had her back.

Oblivious to the doubts Alex was entertaining, Alura pushed forward. “If I encourage Astra to spend more time here, if I give her reason to trust you, you must promise not to break the news until she is ready to hear it. Any sooner and –“

“The consequences would threaten Jeremiah’s wellbeing.” A new surge of purpose filled Alex. “I would never jeopardize my son's life. Not for anyone.”

“I believe you, but if that should change, you must come to me first. You must know I have his best interests at heart.”

“I know what you did for Jeremiah. I don’t doubt your loyalty.”

The elusive quality of trust had never before been so blatant to Alex. She thought gaining confidences and bridging misunderstandings proved challenging before. This was alien territory. Literally.

* * *

_One Year Ago…_

The disbelief lingered even after a night of sleeping on it. Or what little sleep could be grasped. Once the immigration officer left, Alura called in to her assistant and told her she was working from home. Not that any particular reason was disclosed. Work, of course, encompassed the calming of a fussy baby and hunting around the storage unit for something to entertain him with.

The experience of mothering a newborn girl seemed so inadequate; Alura wore herself thin trying to please this one. Unfortunately, he wanted none of Kara’s toys. His fingers and mouth latched onto the bear he was found with, emphasizing a stubbornness not to be deterred. Alura discovered very soon that taking the pitiful animal from him would incur a tantrum in open-mouthed squalling and fervent kicking.

Then the test results arrived and before Alura could make sense of them, Zor and Kara came home. Explaining the presence of a baby in the house became a much simpler task than explaining how a half-human child ended up in her care. Eventually, her family ate up the complex regulations and adoption policies before being shooed away. 

Alura spent most of that night between a rock and a hard place. She felt like a pawn in the council’s games. They only cared about covering their interests. One thing became clear: the moment this child’s parentage became known, he would become a target of every legal ordinance and religious faction. Alura decided that she would sacrifice her principles and her career as a judge to keep this boy safe. Because this wasn’t just any half-human – this was her nephew and that shocked the depths of her.

Alura knew she and Astra hadn’t the closest relationship, but to not tell her own twin that she bore a son? Did Astra think the heresy of a half-human child too risky not to take her report to the authorities? Alura knew Astra’s bitterness towards the status quo, but to mate with a human seemed like overkill.

It didn’t escape Alura that Astra had no knowledge of the child’s existence. There was reason to believe the responsibility lied with someone else. Krypton may uphold an ideal sense of order, but it was not without its detractors. It seemed just as likely that a rogue scientist had stolen genetic samples to experiment in eugenics. For some reason, Alura would rather believe in this twisted scheme than a lie from her sister.

And so there she sat in her living room the next morning, awaiting an answer to her question. Zor was at work and Kara at school. Alura propped an arm on the back of the sofa to support her head and its racing anxieties. The importance of secrecy and the pressure to make these forthcoming decisions was almost too much to handle. If she could not conceal her intentions, the plan would blow up in her face and take her family down with it.

Movement drew her gaze down to the babe in Kara’s two-piece outfit. Her nervousness melted at how adorable he looked in lavender. Her charge puffed out his cheeks at her, trying to pull the expressions Kara had shown him that morning during breakfast. He was a mysterious thing in that he did not display a sense of surprise at his surroundings. Alura detected a resilience in him that would be quite useful later on in his life.

Smiling lightly, she twiddled her fingers to his round stomach and coaxed nonsensical murmurs. She decided not to give him a pacifier for the selfish reason that she enjoyed his banter. A newborn’s efforts to communicate with the adult world were something she missed from Kara’s early development. The babbles of this particular baby were so endearing she couldn’t stifle them.

An impatient grunt bubbled from between his lips.

“Shh-shh,” she cooed. The hem of his shirt rode up in his squirming, so she tucked it down. “It won’t be much longer.”

She had finally managed to wean him off his stuffed animal, but she wouldn’t test his boundaries should he argue later. He was bound to remember the little bear and how soft it felt against his cheek.

A high-pitched tone rang out. Alura looked up. “Come in.”

The door hissed open to her command and revealed Astra in its frame. She passed through wordlessly, arms swinging loosely at her sides.

“You said it was urgent?” she asked, strolling into the kitchen like she owned it. When she arrived at the cooling unit she pulled it open and bent down for inspection.

Alura caught her sister’s profile being bathed in the cooler’s light. “Urgent? Not necessarily. Perhaps pressing?”

“Rao,” Astra sighed, exploring her options and tapping a finger to the fridge’s door. “Is there a difference?”

“Depends on the context,” Alura muttered under her breath.

The door to the fridge was pushed shut. Astra resurfaced, hands empty of beverage. At Alura’s questioning look, she shrugged. “I am not thirsty anyway.”

Alura watched with baited breath as Astra rounded the sofa and settled a hand to its back. Astra raised her brows expectantly, oblivious to the baby under her nose. It only took a moment longer before she caught the movement.

He moved his mouth in droning hums, expressing his fascination with the ceiling.

If Astra had any inkling that this was her child, she would have showed a subdued reaction. If anyone was master at concealed emotions it was her. The astonishment on her face provided ample proof. She had no idea. Alura sagged in relief.

A smooth chuckle slipped from Astra. “You have been holding out on me, sister. Did you send Zor away so he could be spared of my diatribe?”

The wicked smile provoked Alura’s eye roll. “You do not detest children as much as you think, dear sister. And as much as I would love to hear you protest, I cannot claim the child as my own. The council sent an orphan to me. They have no idea who the parents are or where he originated.”

“The council has you handling squalling babes now?” Astra raised her brows to the likelihood and leaned back as if the job were contagious. “How fortunate for you.”

Alura smiled down at the baby, heart swelling as he strained to grab his foot. “It is a welcome distraction from my schedule of meetings and symposiums.”

“Forgive my ignorance in all things legal but since when do high judges become foster parents? If this a demotion, it is not a worthy one.”

“This is a special case: half-human, half-Kryptonian.”

Astra jerked her head back in surprise. “How is that possible? Our last human inhabitants left cycles ago. I have not heard of any new arrival.”

“The details were not disclosed to me. And the council does not know his heritage. I conducted the test myself and the results are confirmed.”

“Do you intend to report this?”

“No.”

The quick response had Astra turning her head slightly. She peered through any conceivable veil. “There are severe penalties for withholding heresy like this. Why would you take the risk?”

“You never expressed interest in my career before,” Alura remarked dryly. “Do not start now, Astra.”

“I just think the responsibility is beneath you. What will you do with it?”

“Him. And I was hoping you could help me find a suitable home for him.”

“Honestly, one would think you were born yesterday. I am a scientist, not a headhunter for parental candidates. I know no one seeking children.”

“What of your team?”

“My colleagues quite possibly make up the unmarried majority in Argo. Adoption is the last thing on their minds.”

“What do you think Non would have to say about it?”

Astra lowered herself to the sofa arm and looked down on the child, answering vaguely, “Non would divorce me before such a travesty were to occur.”

Alura smirked. “We both know those repercussions would not phase you in the slightest.” She took the swinging fist in midair, weaseled a finger into his grip, and squeezed as if to prove a point. The wellbeing of this innocent child should rank higher than the complaints of a husband. “Is divorce such a bad thing in your mind?”

“It is if it pleases you,” Astra shot back. After a moment’s scrutiny, she finally came to understand the reason for Alura’s call. "You are not considering..." A complex swirl of panic and outrage animated her. “Banish the thought, Alura. This is no jesting matter.”

“I completely agree. Which is why you should consider the offer seriously.”

“Absolutely not! This is your area not mine.”

Alura tilted her head. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic? It is a baby not a bomb. They eventually grow to be self-sufficient.”

“Which is exactly why this is not up for discussion. What could I possibly have to offer a teenager much less a newborn?”

“You seem to do alright with Kara.”

“There is a vast difference between aunt and mother. Kara is a well behaved young girl. This… ” Astra threw her hand at the baby who had gone silent and was tilting his head to new company. His lungs expanded to a gasp. He was anxious to show her his new cheek puffing technique. Astra’s head receded on her neck and she reported dully, “This … is a _boy_. A human, no less.”

“Half-human,” Alura corrected testily. She paused to collect herself before the conversation spiraled out of control. When refreshed of purpose, she framed her question in a harmless tone. “Is your refusal coming from a place of self-doubt? Because if it is, I can tell you right now that it is ridiculous. You are the most capable woman I know, Astra. No one has your level of intuition and resolve. While he may present special circumstances, I’m sure you can handle the challenge. There is no better person to raise a child of his uniqueness.”

Astra glared. “You would incriminate your own sister, just to get him off your hands?”

“That is _not_ my intention. Do not put words in my mouth.”

“He would be construed as a natural born child,” Astra argued, face growing red with ire. “While I do not mind lying to the public, _I_ would know. If word spread of his birthright, every Kryptonian he comes in contact with will reject him. He would be viewed as an abomination.”

“Which is every reason for him to be brought up in a supportive family. I don’t think I trust him with any other parents. And do not give me that nonsense about the primitive nature of humanity. You never cared what other people thought. Nurture him as a Kryptonian and he will become one.”

Astra did not show signs of wearing down. She crossed her arms as anger turned to suspicion. “Why is this so important to you? He is just an orphan. If you leave him be, the department will place him with a home and his new parents would be oblivious of his heritage. Do not make more of this than it is. You will only make things worse for him.”

While Astra did not seem to budge from her position, it became clear that she was now fighting for the boy’s wellbeing. If only Alura could take credit. Alas, this was all Astra.

“I know people can see you as cold and distant,” Alura said, rubbing a hand across her brow, “but I’ve seen you with Kara and there is no doubt in my mind that you have the ability to care for a child of your own. I know what you’ll say – that you are a career-driven woman who spends all her time at the lab and pushing your research through funding. I understand the importance of your trials, I do. But it is a lonely path you lead, Astra. I just want you to consider a brighter future, one filled with laughter and not sullen nights spent around a microscope.”

Astra shot up from the sofa arm. Her forehead creased to the labors taken in not lashing out. “How dare you carve out my future! To presume that this half-human will change my life for the better…” She shook her head to the notion. “Using him like this is unseemly to your principles of justice and honor.”

“Do not make this about me. You are the one who is going against her principles. You have a chance here to make someone happy, to give them all the opportunities you were never granted.”

Astra’s jaw twitched. “You think I am so different from them, that I do not see as they do. Do you think my actions so insubordinate that I would turn my back on our own people? For a…” She broke off for lack of a word to describe him, demeaning or not.

“Look at him and tell me he is an abomination. If you cannot do that then you have more potential than any of those soulless citizens out there.”

Astra followed the arm where it indicated towards the window. After probing the traffic, she panned back to the boy. The choice presented to her in the ordered humdrum of society or the randomness of nature. Something sparked in her. Alura could see it. Astra’s belief that she hadn’t the capacity to raise a child stumbled before the wriggling infant.

Alura took his fidgeting as a bid to be held. She felt the corners of her lips curling up instinctively as she picked him up from under his arms and rose to her feet. He settled his head against her shoulder. From under hooded lashes, she spied Astra watching the hand patting his back.

Despite the weakness staring back, Alura fought the assumption from her voice. “Would you like to hold him?”

A snort and a curling lip later Astra deadpanned. “You’re not serious.”

“Why not?” Alura turned so Astra could see the boy’s approval. She continued to rub his back soothingly. “I don’t think he would mind.”

Brow raised, Astra pointed out, “I don’t think he understands a word coming out of your mouth.”

“His skin is soft like Kara’s was. And he’s just as gassy. Do not give me that look. It’s not as if you’ve never held a baby.”

The deep frown magnified Astra’s defensiveness. “Well, of course I have. Kara was a wonderful baby.”

Alura smiled, delighting in her sister’s petrification. “Then try this one.”

“No.”

“Just humor me,” she said, taking a step forward.

Astra stepped back. “ _Alura_ …” The insistence approached a whine she hadn’t used since they were teenagers. “I said no.”

“ _Astra_ ,” she pressed heavily, “this is silly. Just hold him.”

An exasperated sigh hissed between clenched teeth. “Fine,” Astra ground out.

When the baby had been successfully passed off, the sisters were looking at one another with baited breath.

“He is… weightier than he looks.” Astra’s body tensed to every fraction movement. Her eyes darted from the cradled baby to Alura, afraid that if she ignored him one second too long, he would go off like a klaxon. “How old is he?”

“The department wasn’t sure. I’d say no more than two months old.”

Astra grunted. Her eyes ran over him from head to socked feet. She inhaled sharply as his legs curled up. Instinctively, she made corrections to support his diminished form. He moved his head against her in search of a nipple. When nothing but polyester met his mouth, he gave up with a cranky grunt. His ear folded over Astra chest before pressing his face into the swell of her breast, a pillow well worth settling for. The longer he lay there, the more even his breaths became.

Alura had never heard him so quiet. She marveled at the trust, hoping that this was the beginning of something new. If Astra were to agree, it would mean a world of change. Kara would have a cousin and the ties between their two families would be bound all the more. Alura would not go as far as using this child to get closer to her sister, but she could not deny the effect he would have on their family.

All was silent until Astra shifted. Her flexing arms broke the spell. His fists flew above his head and he howled as loud as his lungs allowed. And Astra… she reacted not in a flinch but in a falling expression. The hope, however outlandish, dwindled from her eyes and became crushed by the dispute in her arms.

“Take him. Please, just…” She thrust the baby into Alura’s arms with as much gentleness as her insistence afforded.

The sheer panic etched into her sister’s face frightened Alura. She had never seen her like this, not when they were children and never as an adult. “It’s fine,” she rushed. “You don’t have to take him. I only thought –“

“I will give you my answer by the end of the day. Farewell.”

Instead of relaxing with Alura, the baby cried harder. He flailed, thwacking his fist against her collarbone as if pleading to be returned. Alura shifted her hold so that he didn’t slip from her arms. The rocking did nothing to ease his mind.

“Shh, none of that.”

She frowned at his persistence. He fought against her like she was his aunt and not his parent. He must have known now what it felt like to lay against his mother’s heart. He sensed their connection without the evidence of a blood test, proving that nature trumped science.

In that moment, Alura accepted that this boy did not belong with her. She could not entertain giving him to anyone but his rightful mother. It would betray both of them, mother and child.

From the corner of her eye, she spotted movement. Astra hadn’t left. She was positively rooted where she stood, blinking quite dumbly and stalling for words. She lingered against her better judgment, captivated by the fighting spirit in so small a life form.

His crying had ceased out of sheer exhaustion, yet he continued to make his discontent known in a puckering face. The objections Astra so heartily expressed left her with every sagging breath.

“Do you still need time?” Alura asked, ducking her head to draw Astra’s attention back up.

It took one step to bring Astra within reaching distance. Her hand came up, forefinger curling toward the same fingers that had before grasped her twin. Alura knew Astra was questioning his response towards her. She may look like his present caretaker, but was that the only reason?

The boy sensed her approach and opened his mouth in a yawning gasp. Astra yanked her hand back and nearly jumped out of her skin. Alura’s amusement only lasted long enough to transform into awe as she watched Astra try again. This time, the baby submitted without a peep. His eyelashes fluttered under the weight of an impending nap. His pinky finger rose as she smoothed down the back of his hand, slowly and with more tenderness than Kryptonians were known for.

“Astra?”

Her head rose, breath hitching at the reminder that she and this child were not alone. The answer was carved into her dazzled eyes. She had already made her decision.

* * *

_Present Day…_

The fateful day had arrived. Alex was given three days to prepare and plenty of chances to back out. Alura pointed out that Astra would complain about her chaotic schedule but would eventual concede to a rain check. It seemed that the more advice Alura gave, the less assured Alex felt and the quicker her heart raced at every mention of ‘The Dinner Party.’

Alex didn’t know how to prepare for a Kryptonian dinner party. She hadn’t attended many private social gatherings save for the occasional frat party and that experience would be of no help whatsoever. If she were on Earth, Alex would apply a modest amount of makeup and put on her best blouse. Maybe throw back a shot of whiskey beforehand.

Unfortunately, this was not Earth and there was no precedent for getting a buzz to quell the nerves. Fortunately, Alex had backup. The nearest shopping center was located just a few blocks away. Alura supplied her with eye shadow to bring out her brown eyes while Kara picked out a few candidates for dress shirts. After about an hour in the dressing room, Alex went against the snippy advice from Alura and chose tried and true black.

On the day of, just ten minutes from arrival time, Alex relegated herself and her anxiety to the living room. While Alura and Zor busied themselves in the kitchen, Kara joined her on the sofa where they occupied themselves with a holographic game.

Alex hovered over the interactive coffee table, eyes dancing from one three-dimensional puzzle piece to the next. She found it difficult to concentrate. The only strategy taking up her mind related solely to the dinner. Their guests would be arriving any minute and Alex felt ill prepared and on the verge of losing what little lunch she stomached earlier. How in the hell was she supposed to act like Jeremiah wasn’t her son? How could she look into his eyes and not see her Astra? Just _thinking_ about him made her heart flutter.

“It’s your turn.”

The voice pulled Alex from her thoughts. She lifted her chin off of her palm and sank back to the sofa. “Sorry. I’m not really in the mood.”

Kara shrugged and flopped back with as much grace as her outfit allowed. The pale blue dress made her look like a princess. Alex fought a glance down to her own getup. At least Kara didn’t look like she was attending a funeral. It took little forethought or effort for Alex to reach over and smooth the wrinkle in her gown. She drew her eyes back up to Kara and grinned softly.

“Do you like it?”

Kara pulled the braid over her shoulder and smoothed down its intricate weave in reverence. “I didn’t think I would, but it helps keep my hair out of my face. That can be so annoying.”

Laying her cheek against the sofa, Alex scrunched her face and nodded. “I know what you mean. I used to have long hair and it got everywhere.”

Kara looked back to her braid, face awash in appreciation. “It’s pretty too.”

“As are you.”

The blush only made Alex smile wider. They settled into companionable quiet marked by Kara’s grumbling stomach and Alex’s absentminded pinches to the edge of the dress.

Three minutes to the occasion, she was still entertaining doubts. “Kara,” she whispered, glancing toward the kitchen before turning back. “Why do you never speak of your aunt?”

“What’s there to say? We used to be close, but that was before Misha came along. He takes up a lot of her time.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t hate her for it. Or Misha.” Kara worried at her lip as she watched her hands in her lap. “She’s changed since the adoption.”

“How so?”

“Aunt Astra’s more protective, I guess. Sometimes more rigid than Mom. With other people, I mean. Not with Misha.”

“Does he make her happy?”

Kara’s mouth worked to her uncertainty. “Not exactly on the outside. She feels it deep down like how my mom looks at me when she thinks I don’t see. Astra’s different about it, though. She’s almost afraid to be happy around Misha. And not afraid for herself but for him. I don’t think she likes showing it in public.”

“Not even around you and your mom?”

Kara shook her head.

Before Alex could dissect the new information, their guests arrived. Guided by Kara, they made their way around the sofa to greet the new arrivals. Without realizing, Alex rested a hand on the girl’s shoulder. Kara stood a few feet shorter than her but she sufficed as an adequate shield.

“I understand that we will be speaking in English this evening?”

“You do not need to announce it, Non. It is a foregone conclusion.”

The unchanged Non sidestepped just in time for Alex to catch Astra’s grating look and the boy propped on her hip. In the span of a second, all the air escaped the room. Alex’s reality melted around her peripheral vision. Everything from the walls to the people became inconsequential. Everything but the quiet toddler taking in the crowd.

Alex blinked back the hot moisture in her eyes and realized only a few seconds had passed. Clearing her throat, she spoke up for herself. “I am learning Kryptonese much faster.” She suddenly felt very much like one of the Bennett girls begging to attend Netherfield Ball.

Her words fell on deaf ears as welcomes and greetings were exchanged. Alex didn’t mind. Her focus drew back to the child like a magnet. How could anyone not want to pour every ounce of attention on him? He looked so precious in his blue shirt and matching bottoms, not to mention his soft dark curls and chubby cheeks. The crest of House Ze was embossed on the top right corner of his shirt, over his heart as it were. It took all of Alex’s strength not to reach out and squeeze his little hand.

She watched in rapt fascination as his eyes widened in recognition to Kara who jiggled his foot and cooed sweetly. Astra grinned and said something to her niece. The sounds were muffled in Alex’s ears until a murmur fell from the boy’s mouth. He babbled a few words, playing with sounds that meant little to an adult.

Jeremiah’s fist clenched in his mother’s collar just as she held him tighter. Despite Kara’s gentle voice, he seemed rather attached to the familiar softness and dark green of Astra’s gown. And the hell if she minded. Alex noticed how they gravitated towards one another. The loose white curl brushed against his cheek when she tilted down, not kissing or speaking to him but simply touching him with the tip of her nose and lingering.

Whether it brought Astra closer to his calming smell or reassured him of her presence, Alex was reminded of how many times her Astra spent burrowed to his cheek and neck just breathing that incredible baby scent. A torrent of memory flooded back in the form of silky skin, tiny fingernails and nibble worthy fingers, downy hair fluttering to the slightest breath, feathery eyelashes, and the way all sleeping newborns curl up into an infinitesimal ball of adorable. Alex missed her baby so much and it occurred to her like a twisting knife in the gut that she missed all the developmental stages that led to his first birthday.

Even so, her feet brought her closer. She drew on every last ounce of self-restraint in keeping a respectable distance. As Astra was speaking to Kara, Jeremiah turned his head toward the incoming visitor. Alex offered a smile and before it could reach its full width, he turned away, shying away into Astra’s shoulder. Alex’s face went numb with the failing smile. She wouldn’t let it bother her. He was only two months old when he last saw her; not enough time to commit her face, voice, and scent to memory. At this age, he still treated strangers apprehensively, so it made sense why he would cling to Astra.

When Alex came to her senses, she gestured to the carrier. “I can take that off your hands –“

“No need,” Astra countered, brushing past her.

Watching Jeremiah being carried away stabbed much deeper than she would have expected. Five minutes ago she had no idea how Astra would behave with Jeremiah around, but now it became clear just how guarded she presented. Regardless of Alura’s confidence, Alex would not be granted within a foot of that child.

She sucked in a breath and tried to get a grip. She reminded herself that Astra didn’t know. If she did, she would have showed more regard. Surely.

They gathered around the long dining table. Jeremiah occupied one end, his parents flanking him; Alura took the other end, Zor and Alex next to her. Thankfully, Kara sat between her and Non. Alex wasn’t sure how she’d be able to stomach anything while sitting next to a man who nearly enslaved the entire human race. Parallel universes be damned, she didn’t trust him.

As they waited for supper, Zor served wine from a very large, delicate carafe. They made light conversation, mostly just catching up on the trifles of every day life in Argo City. It was only a matter of time before Alex’s interest navigated toward the head of the table.

Jeremiah sat quietly in his highchair, looking for something to play with. His gaze jumped from one person to the next in an expressive manner of focus. When his eyes finally landed on the sippy cup he lunged forward. His hands grabbed at air. “Mama,” he moaned, grunting in the effort to reach. In clear English, no less.

Seeing the futility, Astra nudged the cup forward and observed as he thrust it into his mouth with both hands. She eased his haste by placed her hand on his arm. “Slowly, please.”

He complied by slamming the cup back down and grinning. His lips were stained blue from the juice, but his thirst was sated and he sat oblivious of the mess. Astra went to dry his chin with a napkin, a faint smile tugging at her lips.

Alex forced her gaze away before it could be felt.

They dined on a variety of vegetables and a purple fibrous meat that tasted like beef – the closest comparison to an Earth dish Alex would describe as a pot roast. Zor had cooked the main dish while Alura prepared a few soft vegetables and fruit for Jeremiah. Earlier that day, before their guests arrived, Kara had cleaned the living room and the table was set by Alex (with pointers from Kara on distinguishing silverware). No matter their culinary proficiency, every member of the hosting family took on a duty. It reminded Alex of dinners at Kara’s apartment. She could only hope, though, that Zor-El’s family as well as Astra’s did not compare in drama.

During the meal, Alex snuck sidelong glances while keeping her knife within reach. This marked the first occasion she had seen Non since his death on Earth. It infuriated her to see him around her son. She found herself particularly interested in Non’s relationship with Jeremiah. It seemed that he had not warmed up to the child even in the year since the adoption. Where Astra kept a constant, doting eye on Jeremiah, Non pretended that a veil of inexistence surrounded him. Even if he seemed to ignore Jeremiah most of the time, Alex would have loved a chance to throttle him in a dark room from the eyes of her rightful child.

Non acted, for the most part, unsociable. His answers consisted of bland ‘yes’s’ and ‘no’s’ and he offered the occasional remark on the food. He looked positively bored, almost as if he was trying to just get through the dinner.

Throughout the night, Alex observed the family and was reminded yet again how their society differed from Earth’s. She saw the lack of physical contact between the couples and the sterile diplomacy through which they conversed. Not at all like the free-for-all commotion of a Danvers family gathering. The number of times Kara’s drink would spurt out of her nose from laughter would have startled these people.

Alex was lucky enough not to attract much attention. The conversations, though spoken in English, did not revolve around her nor did she have anything to contribute. She slid by with high hopes not to offend any Kryptonian customs. Until someone’s boredom got the best of him.

For the first time that night, Non looked up from his plate and drew a puzzled frown that for all intents and purposes seemed genuine. “And what do you do for work, Lady Danvers?”

Alex’s first instinct was to reply ‘I’m unemployed at the moment’ and laugh it off, but based on the suspended air she concluded that they wouldn’t take it as much of a _ba-dum-tss_ punch line.

She twirled her fork, hunting for a response. “Well, until I’ve mastered Kryptonese, I’d hoped to apply some place that needs an English speaker. The opportunities are few and far between, of course.”

“You are on our planet,” Astra reminded flatly. “You will find that we expect visitors to speak our language.”

Alex clutched her fork hard enough to reveal the whites of her knuckles. “I don’t expect a billion Kryptonians to conform to my language.”

“And yet most high-born Kryptonians have the proficiency to speak English.”

“Why is that?” She directed the question to everyone at the table. “If I may ask.”

“Depends on _who_ you ask,” Zor said. “It is common knowledge that Earth has had its progressive jumps. A scientist will tell you that developments in physics come in fits and starts. Some civilizations advance more quickly than others.”

Astra flicked her hair over her shoulder to stem impatience. “What Zor is trying to say is that Kryptonians are capable of great feats in technology while humanity is stumbling centuries behind.”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it _exactly_ like that.”

“No need to understate the facts, Zor. I’m sure she’s heard worse.” Her eyes shot to Alex and subsequently danced over her features. Astra took a bite of her roast, chewing while she came away with an impression. “She looks like she can take it.”

Alex – or “she” as Astra referred to her – was unsure whether to take it as a compliment. Astra’s tunnel-like focus made her feel things she never thought she’d feel again. It didn’t approach a stirring sensation deep in her belly because the look was in no way predatory. If that were the case, she wondered if Astra would have realized what she was doing (having grown up in an emotionally repressed society and all).

In this case, Astra’s scrutiny, so severe and calculating, meant to challenge the delicacy of her skin. She wanted to know just how sensitive Alex was to criticism and how far she’d go to protect her honor.

The test riled Alex up. Something animalistic wanted to claw its way out and make her stand so fast her chair toppled over. She wanted to show this woman just how much she could take. Pithy “fight me” one liners surfaced to mind. Alex had killed aliens more intimidating than Astra. She’d broken noses, dislocated fingers, and sent Maxwell Lord to facial reconstruction twice. None of them knew what she was capable of. Armed with kryptonite or not, she could hold her own, anytime and anywhere.

The classy ambiance reminded Alex that she was amongst civilized society and that it wouldn’t be wise to go all Sarah Connor on the ass of her benefactor’s sister. Instead of feeding the beast, she settled on something more demure in a nod and tilt of her head. The offbeat response was not received as she had hoped.

Astra emit an insufferable sigh like she wondered why she bothered to defend the human.

“As I was saying,” Zor said, oblivious to the tension, “scientists take an evolutionary approach to learning new languages. It is not as complex a challenge as the people of Earth take it as. Others will learn English as a way of proving our adaptability even when we choose to uphold strict allegiance in Kryptonian customs. In fact, it is not Earth’s numerous languages that offend us but their record of wantonness and reckless behavior.” Zor sipped his wine before arriving at another morsel of enlightenment. “I myself have tried my hand at Italian and find it to have a peculiar mix of lexicon and hand gestures. Not to mention its rich history what with the influence from literary works and poets alike.”

Just as Alex was coming to the conclusion that Alura had married a complete nerd, the former was smiling proudly at her husband while Kara and Astra were enduring it with a press to their eyebrows.

“That is all fine and well,” said Non, “but what purpose does Italian serve here on Krypton? Or English for that matter? It is solely a means to show one’s status. High-borns are afforded the opportunity to study a variety of subjects if only to smear it in the faces of those less fortunate.”

Alura had once mentioned that Non came from a lower caste. It would explain his staunch remarks and the silence leading up to them. His sudden engagement into conversation seemed to surprise the rest of them, making Alex wonder if this was her doing. She _had_ baited him with her inquiry into the English language, however unknowingly.

“I happen to agree with you,” Alex found herself saying. No matter her grudge towards Non for attempting to kill her sister in another universe or for being an all around dick in this one, he had a point. “People should study matters because of their interest in them not because a particular subject makes them feel superior to others.”

Zor raised his glass in toast to her. “Your wisdom puts us all to shame, Lady Danvers. Wherever you see yourself here on Krypton, I anticipate your success.”

Dabbing her napkin to her lips, Alura brightened to a proposal. “I was thinking Alexandra would make a fine addition to the legal support team. My assistant has been falling behind and she would appreciate the help.”

Alex raised her brow because they hadn’t really talked about it. All they ever discussed were their histories, life choices, and how best to integrate Alex into her son’s world. Rarely did they take her future into consideration. She may have taken a few jaunts in the park and grasped more of the language, but she’d hardly call herself a member of Kryptonian society.

Kara piped up in due time. “I think Alex should apply to the Warrior Guild. I’ve seen her kickboxing technique. She’s really good.”

The compliment made Alex swell with pride. She smiled and elbowed Kara playfully. “Not nearly as proficient as some of the Kryptonians I’ve known.”

The few of the them who were listening raised quizzical brows. Alura pursed her lips. Alex closed her eyes in mortification. In any other place, a slip like that would have thrown a bag over her head and shipped her off to some dark, featureless interrogation room. It was only because she was Alura’s guest that the others hadn’t questioned the remark.

It didn’t phase Kara. She simply smiled up at Alex before announcing to the rest of the table, “Alex is way cooler than anyone I’ve met. I’m glad Mom offered her a place to stay here.”

“Alura does have a habit of taking in strays,” said Non.

The entire table went silent. An undeniable tension fell upon them and, if Alex wasn’t mistaken, all eyes were actively avoiding her and Jeremiah. Surprisingly enough, the first to come to their defense rose ramrod straight in her chair.

“If it were not for Alura, we would not have Misha with us today.” Astra’s voice remained terrifyingly controlled and yet so very close to the edge of insult. She navigated the fine line by clutching her napkin on the table and used her other hand to sweep up the fruit pieces of Jeremiah’s dinner before he pushed them quite sneakily onto the floor.

She eyed her husband from across the table to let the statement sink in before breaking away to the rest of them. “And thank Rao she came to me and not the department. They could have placed him with anyone. We shouldn’t be so quick to question someone whom she deems worthy of accommodation. I trust in her judgment.”

Based on Alura’s expression, it was probably the nicest thing Astra had ever said of her. The compliment pulled Alura’s mouth into a wide smile. “I’m only glad he found his place in the world.”

In Alex’s effort to temper her own grin, Astra had caught her mid-smile and pulled a frown, silently chastising her for intruding on a private moment before glancing away. Alex simmered at the treatment. Was it illegal now to express facial responses?

Exasperated grunts came from Jeremiah. Having finished his food and found nothing of importance to occupy his interest, he desperately sought stimulation. The crankiness reached its breaking point as he reached over to pull on the sleeve of Non who ignored him.

Alex kept her hands out of sight below the table. The fussing steadily increased toward full on crying and with the continued yanks to sleeve she thought she’d go mad. Her hands clutched the napkin in her lap and it was all she could do to prevent them from wrapping around Non’s throat.

“He didn’t get his nap today,” Astra explained. She held her hand out to Jeremiah but he was determined to get Non’s attention.

“Feel free to put him down to sleep in Kara’s bedroom,” offered Alura.

Zor, who seemed a bit uncomfortable by the approaching anarchy, retreated to his domain in the kitchen so he could prepare desert. Kara must have caught his cue because she followed to help.

Alex’s heart was breaking. She couldn’t tear her eyes from Jeremiah and how his face screwed in such frustration. What the hell was wrong with them? Why didn’t someone just pick him up? He needed soothing, not chit-chat. Alex wanted to scream. And she wasn’t the only one.

Jeremiah made one last ditch effort. His fingers clutched at the hand laying flat on the table. Non recoiled and all hell broke loose. The sudden rise from his chair caused the rest of them to inhale sharply. Jeremiah cried out.

Alex’s hands tightened her napkin to shreds.

“ _Non_ ,” Astra admonished.

Astra and Non’s marital dynamic had been a mystery to Alex up until this point. Her eyebrows rose in astonishment as Non took one look at his wife and complied without a word. He picked up a whimpering Jeremiah out of his highchair and took him to Kara’s bedroom. Though he abided by Astra’s command, he did so with blatant irritation.

Judging by Zor’s and Kara’s absence and the diverted gazes of the sisters, Alex came to the conclusion that this was not a unique occurrence. If it had been, they wouldn’t have fallen so seamless into their roles: Astra the disciplinarian, Non the proxy, and Alura as the counselor.

The tension hung unmistakable in the air. By the time dessert was served at the table, everyone passed plates of sliced cake around like the event never happened.

* * *

Alex lay on her bed unable to close her eyes. She was physically tired and unable to scrounge up the care to change out of her dress clothes. As far as mental state went, she couldn’t stop replaying the events of the night in her head. Her jaw clenched hard enough to start a headache. A surge of anger strained the tendons in her hands whenever Non and his disgusted expression came to mind. Though not considering herself to be an irrational person, Alex felt homicidal when imagining him just looking in her son’s direction. How could Astra think it was safe to raise a baby around that man?

But then she remembered Jeremiah, a face she hadn’t seen since laying him down in Kara’s pod on Earth. The moisture collected in her eyes and spilled over to dampen her hair and the bed beneath her. What had been a month for her, was twelve months for Jeremiah. And he was so blissfully unaware of it. He had no idea where he came from or how special he was. He didn’t recognize her voice or her smile. He may have the support of Alura’s family but he couldn’t remember how many people loved him, how many _humans_.

The thought sent Alex spiraling down a pit of misery. It had been quite embarrassingly simple to forget the people she’d left behind because there was Jeremiah to focus on. Making her future with him a priority conveniently shut out the past. But now… Alex saw her mother and father, J’onn J’onzz, Supergirl and Kara Danvers, Clark, and all their friends including Vasquez, Winn, Lucy, and James. Some of them were not related to Jeremiah by blood but since Astra started showing and when her hormones made everyone’s lives a living hell, they made it their business to care.

Thinking about them now, it suddenly occurred to her that the Earth in this particular universe still existed. It seemed like a logical question to ask: why shouldn’t she cut her losses and return home? Regardless of the time period, at least Alex would be welcomed. As a human, she had no business assimilating herself into a society that clearly hated her kind. What could Krypton offer her? What could she offer it?

The only thing keeping her there was her son. He had to be enough. She couldn’t start acting like she had a choice. Astra made her promise to find him and raise their family wherever that may be. It was selfish and futile to even _think_ about life on another Earth. Without Jeremiah, she was nothing. Despite the fact that he shied away from her, Alex had to keep trying. No one succeeded by giving up in the first round. Astra had given her a second chance, and it would be an insult to her memory to waste such an opportunity.

Alex’s hand came to rest on her stomach and feel its rise and fall. She saw her son just a few hours ago. He was alive and with his mother. Life would have been perfect were it not for the insult of dimensions and whatever messed up society she had dropped into. There were so many obstacles to overcome, so many challenges standing between her and her son.

Things here were not as they were on Earth.

Astra was Non’s wife and their marriage seemed (on the outside, at least) grounded by Jeremiah. Kryptonians upheld a traditional sense of family maintained by the stable marriage; any hint of divorce would be taken as an upset to the child’s wellbeing.

Kara was not her sister. Alex couldn’t even admit to having one. It would have been too difficult to talk of her Kara as if this thirteen-year-old girl wouldn’t become her. She wanted to believe that Kara in any universe would grow up to be that generous ball of sunshine Alex had fought tooth and nail to protect.

An hour after Alura suggested she retreat to her bedroom for rest, a knock came at the door. Alex gave her consent with a grunt. She rolled onto her side and propped her head up.

Familiar with her guest’s lack of propriety, Alura disregarded the pose. She tilted her head and asked, “How are you feeling?”

“I feel like my world is spinning. At least I have two questions answered.”

“And what conclusions have you drawn?”

“Non is a <male genitalia> and I want to punch him in the face.”

Alura raised a brow at the Kryptonese slang. “I hope you don’t mean to see through that last one.”

“It’s just something I say a lot. Sometimes I follow through. Other times… I imagine it with startling clarity.”

Folding her arms, Alura settled back against the wall. “I’m not familiar with Non’s background. He and Astra married rather quickly and before gaining the permission of our families, but that was her intent, I suppose. Most couples go through a complex and very lengthy courtship process before vows are exchanged. The practice is meant to solidify a commitment. I can assure you, though, where my acquaintance with Non’s character ranks very low, the knowledge I have of Astra’s is far more intimate. She would never allow him to harm Misha.”

“Not physically but emotionally?” Alex shook her head and glared off into memory. “The way he reacted to Jeremiah tonight… God, I wanted to… I just can’t take seeing him around my son. You remember what I said about him in my world?”

Alura nodded. “Your suspicions are well intentioned. I don’t expect you to trust him. There is reason, however, to trust Astra. Misha may be adopted, but she treats him like family.”

“That’s no guarantee he won’t get caught up in conflict. Even blood bonds can’t prevent families from tearing each other apart.”

A dour probability darkened Alura’s features. Her eyes dropped to the hands wringing in front of her. Alex almost felt sorry for bringing it up. The distance between this planet’s Alura and Astra didn’t seem as unusual as her impression of them in the other universe. Alura may not have damned her sister to a prison of lifelong nightmare and darkness, but the potential might have been there. The choices that led to that day long ago lurked beneath the surface. Alura possessed every means to betray her sister just like Astra could wake up the next day and decide to carry the responsibility of Krypton’s survival on her shoulders.

Alex changed the subject more for her own benefit. The what ifs provoked a despair that twisted her stomach. “Is Non’s behavior towards Jeremiah because he’s half-human? He does know, doesn’t he?”

“Astra hasn’t explained her rationale but, yes, he knows. If you ask me, she told him because he wouldn’t have understood why she agreed to the adoption in the first place. Non knows Astra’s penchant for breaking with tradition. She saw a chance to give an orphan the kind of life she never had. A life of autonomy and confidence. No child could have spurred Astra’s sense of good will like a boy from two worlds. Non may not understand Misha but he understands his wife, and he went along with her decision and accepted the Kryptonian name Astra bestowed on him.”

The fist propping Alex’s head up clenched tight enough for the nails to bite into her palm. “And yet he treats Jeremiah like there is no Kryptonian blood in him.”

“Whether or not Non rejects any Kryptonian qualities that may emerge later in Misha’s life remains to be seen. And that’s not the only reason why Astra revealed Misha’s heritage. If word should spread that they are raising a half-human, Astra will need all the support she can get. Two parents are better than one, after all.” Alura followed the slight dip of Alex’s head. “Have faith, Alexandra. Astra may not coddle the boy but she is a comfort compared to Non’s cold demeanor.”

“It’s kind of hard to have faith when two people I’ve never met before are raising _my_ son.” Alex shook her head and said, “I may be able to get used to the idea of this Astra being around him but Non?”

“You do not have to take my word for it. As you saw tonight at supper, the lines have been clearly drawn. They accepted their roles long before you arrived. It shows in their behavior towards Misha in particular.” On the verge of a humorous insight, Alura smirked and shared the thought in due course. “Astra has a hold over Non that is much like a general exercising power over their subordinate.”

“That sounds familiar.”

“Yes,” mused Alura. “I’m beginning to see the parallels between our two worlds.”

Tension stole between them. A tension like long shadows pulling on the stars. “Alura…” Alex bit her cheek. “There’s a reason why they’re called alternate universes. The paths people take… they’re not all similar.”

“Of course not.” The smile didn’t reach Alura’s eyes. Fraction tensions like winces marred her features. “Well… I am glad you were able to see your son today. I know it wasn’t much, but it’s a start.”

“Thank you again.” Alex sat up and produced one of the reverent head bows Kara had been teaching her. <You make my day well>

Alura’s mouth split into a smile and she chuckled at the fractured Kryptonese. With a shake of her head she bid a soft <Good night> and closed the door behind her.


	3. Defense Mechanisms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A "mesiac" is a Kryptonian month.
> 
> So if you’re anything like me and are fascinated by East Slavic naming customs, I thought I’d share this morsel of information. Misha is short for Mikhail (similar to English “Michael”). Someone with the name of Misha would have typically gone by the affectionate diminutive “Mishka” as a child which means “bear cub” or “little bear” in Russian. For this series, I decided not to use the Kryptonese lexicon because I could not find an accurate, comprehensive source. Rather, I borrowed from various European languages such Russian, Slovak, Finnish... In case anyone cares.

Alex’s second trip to the Council of Law and Kryptonian Behavior offered no surprises. Everything looked as it had the last time including the sterile floors, clean transparent walls, and productive buzz. Lawmakers and chrome-encased drones went about their business as usual. Even the assistant seemed the same judging by her nervousness around Alex.

The vestibule echoed to their footfalls. Alura didn’t waste time making elaborate introductions.

“Alexandra, this is my assistant Qora Nor-Vel. Qora, you remember Lady Danvers?”

The young woman shot up from her chair so suddenly she had to adjust the lock of hair that came loose. “Ah, y-es,” she replied, touching up her ponytail. At Alura’s raise of brow, Qora realized the lapse and inhaled sharply. She quickly bowed her head and greeted, “Lady Danvers.”

The nerves on display made Alex smile. “Alex, if you don’t mind.”

Qora’s lips parted to mouth the syllables, perfecting them before giving voice to, “Ah-lex.” She peered upward as if the distant gaze helped her comprehend the English. “Aaaaleeex.”

Alex chuckled behind her hand.

Alura took a measured breath before sighing. “Qora, perhaps another time? Why don’t you show your new understudy what we do here. Acclimate her to the scene.”

“Right. Of course.”

Alura’s eyes lingered a second longer before turning to Alex. “I will leave you to it then. Feel free to direct any inquiries to Qora. Contrary to what you just witnessed, she speaks excellent English.”

The sound of Alura’s heels striking the floor echoed in the vestibule. It wasn’t until the walls of her office muffled them that they became locked in silence. Alone with Alex and her lineup of tasks, Qora realized she hadn’t prepared. She grimaced and waved her hands above her head, leaving Alex to watch her scramble.

A few days ago Alex had confided in Alura how useless she’d been feeling and that if the offer still stood, she would like to lend her assistance to the legal aides. Being stir crazy and cabin fevered might have perfected the low profile she and Alura thought best to exercise in her situation, but it hardly did any good to her mental state. Alex had been living at their apartment for nearly a month not paying room and board. She made it known that she was no freeloader – a term Alura couldn’t seem to grasp until Alex used the words ‘infringing on hospitality.’

So Alura offered her a part-time job. Although Alex thought herself overqualified to be an assistant’s aide, she took it without complaint. It wasn’t like she was getting any job offers. Krypton didn’t exactly have their own version of the DEO and if they did, a human wouldn’t be high on their list of prospective candidates.

In due time, Qora provided Alex with a chair so that they could work side by side. When Alex got comfortable at her new station, she turned to her desk partner. “Alura’s told me much about you. I hope you can follow me alright. I’m sorry, I would speak in Kryptonese but I’m afraid I’ll just confuse you even more with my ugly pronunciation.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Qora insisted with a waving of her hands. “You’ve only been here a month, after all. Learning a new language takes time even for us Kryptonians.”

“You don’t realize how reassuring that is to hear.”

“I honestly don’t mind. For me, speaking English is sentimental. It’s one of the languages I mastered at school, but, unfortunately, there aren’t many opportunities to practice around here. It’s a good thing Alura took you in when she did. I can’t imagine anyone doing the same.”

“How did you come to work for her?”

“She told you I’m her cousin, right?” At Alex’s nod, Qora explained, “Well, I prefer to keep that information from spreading at work. I like to think Alura hired me for my work ethic and not on our relation alone. Others, of course, wouldn’t see it that way.”

“You started working right after graduation? Or…” Alex cocked her head, “whatever passes as graduation around here? I’m not entirely familiar with students’ transfer into the work force.”

“I attended a university for five cycles before making the decision to work. Typically, graduates either enter a two year vocational school to prepare them for their specialized area or enter a field to gain experience right away. Alura’s assistant had been promoted to paralegal, so she offered me the position.”

“And the idea of more school didn’t appeal to you,” Alex gathered with a knowing grin. Qora nodded vigorously. “Yeah, I get that. I spent two years in graduate school and barely scraped by. Turns out it wasn’t for me.”

“What line of work were you assigned?”

“Where I come from, occupations are not assigned before birth. The process is vastly different from Krypton’s. I chose… law enforcement?”

“Oh, so like Earth’s version of the Warrior Guild.”

“Something like that.”

During her time on Krypton, Alex had seen very few people of the Warrior Guild. Apparently, they made their presence known in strictly sensitive situations where the average patrolmen would not suffice. The one occasion she had witnessed Kryptonians of the guild occurred that very morning Alura drove her to work. A delegate from Kandor was scheduled to arrive, which explained the heavily guarded main landing platform. Alex remembered the firm grasp on her arm as Alura guided her past the six sentries dressed in lavish yet practical gear.

Qora’s belief that Alex worked with the likes of a Warrior Guild’s prestige was amusing. The image of Winn and Vasquez decked out in sculpted armor and fluttering capes inspired Alex to emit a chuckle.

After a moment of consideration, Qora asked with a squint, “Do you miss it?”

The question rendered Alex frozen. Her chest prickled with something akin to guilt. She searched her hands as they lay open in her lap. “I don’t think about it a lot. Everything’s been moving so fast since I arrived. But I guess now that you’ve brought it up… its not the job I miss but the people.”

“And your family?” Before Alex could react, Qora’s hands slapped her flaming cheeks. “Oh, my stupid mouth. I’m so sorry. Alura spoke of it in passing if only to make sure I don’t misspeak and make you uncomfortable.” She shrunk back in her chair and diverted her eyes. “And I’m afraid I have.”

“No, it’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting it. To be honest, I’ve brought up my family only to Alura.” Alex smiled at the round, innocent eyes staring back. “It’s nice to have someone else to talk to.”

The assuring words curled the corners of Qora’s mouth. A sly smile replaced her remorse. “You mean someone more attuned to the younger generation. Not that Alura hasn’t forgotten her stage of juvenile delinquency.” Qora leaned over and whispered, “And that’s not her assistant talking. Golly, the stories I could tell you of my dear cousin Alura.”

“And Astra?”

“Especially Astra. She features in some pretty intrepid tales. If you wanted to skip town and piss off your parents, you sought her out. Of course, she could never fool my parents. If Astra ever had a nemesis it came in the form of Mother.”

“I’ve heard a lot about Nola.” Alex searched her memory but couldn’t remember Astra mentioning a cousin. No doubt, one of the many differences between this Krypton and its alternate. “I didn’t know she had a daughter, though.”

“How could you know?” Qora asked with a quizzical look.

Alex blinked. She’d spoken too much yet again. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut? She could make friends outside Alura without having to divulge her life story. She groaned internally. Sometimes it felt like leading a double life. She’d already lived her fair share of it on Earth as an agent of a top secret government organization. It seemed like she couldn’t escape it even after crossing the great divide.

“So we should probably look busy,” Alex said. She cleared her throat and built up a professional posture. “The last thing I need is a scolding from my landlord and new boss.” Alex scanned the hologram desk. Its smooth surface reminded her of Alura’s living room coffee table, though based on the size and intricacy of the panel edge, this particular table didn’t offer games or weather reports. She’d only glanced at the nearest file and felt her head spin from the string of Kryptonese symbols. The overwhelming complexity gave her a touch of nervousness. “Where do I start?”

Having apparently detected the deer in headlights expression, Qora chuckled. “It’s not that complicated. I promise. I have a well-developed system here that Alura knows not to intervene on. Just watch and learn from the master.”

And so that was how Alex began her first day of work at the Council of Law and Kryptonian Behavior. Little did she know, it would be her last. In the meantime, Qora split her training between lessons in Kryptonese and the organization of civil documents.

Alphabetizing files became an unlikely tool in mastering the language. Although the computer did that itself, Qora gave it a random filter so that her new student could practice. Alex found herself progressing not only in the various legal terms thrown into the everyday life of a judge, but in corresponding meaning to symbols through a series of useful ‘study hacks.’

When their break neared, Alura popped out of her office and gave them permission to grab lunch. Alex took the offer in relief. An enormous amount of information had been packed into the three hours and she needed to clear her head. A walk seemed like the perfect solution.

Qora took her outside council limits to a public bazaar that measured two miles from one end of Argo’s Perennial Garden Park to the docks. There, Alex picked out her lunch amongst a conglomeration of fresh fruits, vegetables, and snack foods. It was the city’s version of a farmer’s market and one of Qora’s favorite stomping grounds. Five minutes in, Alex couldn’t have agreed more.

Upon returning to Qora’s desk, they spent what remained of their break chatting and splurging on their loot. The longer Alex spent around her the more appreciative she was of the company. Qora proved to be not only a patient teacher but a joy to be around. On one occasion she made a humorous remark (unbeknownst to herself) that sent Alex into fits of laughter and nearly choking on a rather succulent plum-like fruit.

Qora began to loosen up around her. It became obvious from the beginning that she had never seen a human nor did she possess the most generous impression of them. Soon enough, through the assistance of food and conversation, whatever reservations or preconceived notions she had were quashed by their budding friendship.

Qora was a beacon of knowledge when it came to life outside policy and procedure. She gushed about the 'young scene’ and her favorite music and how her tutelage under Alura would shape her future as a counselor. Alex enjoyed hearing about Krypton through the eyes of someone closer to her age. So far the only people she had socialized with were Alura, the absent-minded Zor-El, and young Kara.

To Alex’s surprise, the time spent with Qora reminded her of how she and Kara used to hang out. She mused on it with a heavy heart. Qora bore an uncanny resemblance to the Kara on Earth both in appearance and personality. It made Alex’s heart yearn all the more for a past lost to star dust.

Just when they were returning to a more productive state, their laughter petered out at the sound of an incoming visitor. The confident thumps of boot heels rounded the corner and entered the vestibule.

Alex’s back pressed into her chair. She swallowed, thinking it ironic how fate would not let her forget. It just had to bring the one person she refused to grieve over.

Footsteps came closer and echoed off the walls of the sterile lobby. They sounded like hammers. A flutter started in Alex’s chest and she couldn’t know if her heart was arresting or skipping. Her body still didn’t seem to rest at the sight of Astra, despite how dissimilar than her heart ached to remember. Alex should have mourned like someone who loved to such an extent. She would have were it not for the .001 possibility that Astra survived the solar flare. She had hope, however small, that Astra would come back to her.

Then fate had to give her the wrong one.

At the risk of seeming impolite, Alex turned her eyes down to the holotable and pretended to shuffle through documents. Astra didn’t seem to respond to polite anyway.

Astra stopped just short of the desk. “I have a one o’clock with her honor.”

“Oh, yes,” Qora said just as the reminder flashed up and revolved above the table. “Unfortunately, her conference call is taking longer than expected. She should be finished soon. You may take a seat and I will call you when she’s available.”

Alex was unable to see the expression on her face. Instead of looking up, she concentrated on the clipped tone of voice.

“Very well.”

Astra went to take a seat on one of the sofas. Her work uniform allowed the crossing of a leg over the knee. She then rested her wrists on the arms of the chair and proceeded to stare at the wall. Without speaking a word, she perfected a blasé exterior. The longer Alex studied Astra from under her lashes the more her heart returned to its normal rhythm. Astra may look like the love of her life but she didn’t act like it. The restrained contempt in Astra’s posture was making it possible for Alex to remain calm. There was no trace of a general’s deportment in her back, no world weary heaviness to her brow. She gave no indication of the concerns Alex had been entrusted with or the half moon white scar she had traced with her finger on a multitude of nights.

Leaning to the side, Alex subtly rolled her chair closer to Qora and inquired under her breath. “Does she always make appointments?”

Double checking to ensure that they were not being overheard, Qora ducked down. “Only because Alura insists. Don’t ask me why. I’ve been working under her for three cycles and those two are still a mystery to me.”

“Aren’t you their cousin? How can you not know?”

“I sense that your understanding of family is not like ours. We’re not known for discussing personal matters amongst each other. If Alura and Astra have issues, they do not air them out in public. Least of all around me.”

Alex thought back to the dinner party at Alura’s and Zor-El’s. Indeed, the gathering was more demure than the drama surrounding dinners with Eliza. When it came to social norms, Kryptonians and humans were like day and night. They definitely upheld a stifling sense of decorum. So many of their emotions were suppressed. Alex wondered what they did for stress release.

She and Qora went about their work for a good five minutes before Astra broke the silence.

“Lady Danvers,” Astra called from her chair. “Come here.”

Just when the circle of files floating in front of Alex was making sense, she had to do a double take. Her gaze bridged the distance and peered at the unmoving Astra. When it became clear that she was looking in her direction, Alex straightened.

“Are you talking to me?” she asked.

“Is there another Lady Danvers in this vestibule?”

Alex bit back a retort and rose from her chair. She did not appreciate being beckoned like a dog. She sat in the chair beside Astra and raised her brows expectantly.

“Do you know what I do?”

The unexpectedness of it caused Alex to blink a few times. “As in… your career?”

Astra appeared to be fighting a roll of her eyes. “Yes.”

Alex thought back to their first meeting. “You work at the Institute of Experimental Technology. Alura hasn’t mentioned much beyond that.”

“Nor would she. It’s not the kind of information readily offered. Especially seeing as it is a career I defied the Codex for.”

The voluntary nature of the information was surprising. “Black sheep of the family?” Alex asked before she could stop herself.

“The what?”

“It’s an expression we use on Earth. Never mind.”

Astra didn’t waver. “What does it mean?”

“It’s not insulting,” Alex defended. “It’s a word used to describe someone who deviates from the standard. I’m kind of a black sheep of the family myself.”

Astra didn’t look like she cared. Her eyes flicked to Alura’s office door and upon seeing it closed returned to Alex. “You are correct in that I work at the Institute. I am a senior ranked researcher in molecular neuroscience. Do you know what molecular neuroscience pertains to?”

“The study of the brain down to its molecules and atoms,” Alex answered readily. “Particularly neurotransmitters and biological processes.”

Astra nodded. “My research in particular relates to the neural pathways sensitive to influence.”

An icy sensation slid down Alex’s spine and seized her in a vice grip of recollection. “Like brainwashing.”

“That is not the term we use at the Institute nor does it come within a lightyear of our intentions. My colleagues and I are hoping to develop a strategy to block the triggers affecting victims of trauma. By experimenting with various chemicals and their responses to receptor proteins, we are getting closer to identifying the sparks so to speak and locking them down before they cause damage. That damage may be irreparable if not dealt with and can cause physical and emotional consequences.” Astra stopped herself and narrowed her eyes. “Is this making any sense to you?”

Alex was far too absorbed to detect the snobbery. “Yeah, it actually is. Go on.”

“When we have learned enough from these reactions, we intend to prohibit the communication between receptors and the hippocampus.”

“Thereby severing the conscious mind from the emotional response.” At Astra’s raise of brow, Alex prepared herself for an argument on the primordial nature of human biology. She shrugged and found herself saying, “I don’t mean to suppose that our brains are similar. I just – “

“No, you are correct in your conclusion. Do you realize the implications of this research?”

“I… just got here a month ago, so I’m not entirely sure I’m informed enough to answer that.”

“You will know soon enough. Others would have you believe my fellow scientists and I seek to enslave the Kryptonian race so that the world will conform to our radical ideas. As tempting as it sounds, that is not our objective.”

“Who do you mean by ‘others’?”

“Everyone outside the scientific community including those council members trying to block the passage of my proposal. They have funded our research through the end of the cycle, but we need more time.”

“The Science Council,” murmured Alex in recollection. “Couldn’t Zor help convince them to extend your research?”

Crinkles beset Astra’s forehead. “And be indebted to him? Never. Zor would only seek to gain from my achievements. He is as self-centered as his brother. Have you even met Jor?”

“I’ve… heard of him.”

The scowl, though volatile, was not directed at Alex. “Count yourself lucky. Zor does not say so but when it is time to choose a side I do not expect to see him on mine. The opposition is indifferent to science and progress. Although there are reasonable dangers involved, I believe the benefits outweigh the risks.  If we can find a way to control how the brain processes emotional stimuli, it will aid assault victims, prisoners of war, and soldiers with post traumatic stress disorder. Scientists have a chance to succeed where psychologists have failed.” As her chest swelled in enthusiasm, Astra’s eyes blazed like unblinking supernovas. “This research can open our minds to a higher level of perception. We could _cure_ trauma.”

Though the conversation proved stimulating, Alex wondered why Astra was all of a sudden taking an interest in her. Did she offend her in some way and this was Astra’s method of boring her to delirium? Well, the plan was a total wash. Anyone who knew Alex wouldn’t bait her with scientific theories otherwise they’d lock themselves into an endless one-sided lecture. Winn learned that the hard way one fateful evening after a mission debrief as he sat watching her draw crazy diagrams on the whiteboard.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Alex squirmed in her chair for fear that her question would be taken in offense, “but what does your research have to do with me?”

Astra uncrossed her legs and turned so she could address Alex directly. “My sister tells me you have an education in biology.”

“Bioengineering, actually.”

“She also tells me that you are bored being locked up in her home with nothing to do but play with my niece. Do not get me wrong, I would bleed for Kara but she can drive me to sanity with those hologames.” She broke out into a hearty chuckle.

Alex decided not to dwell on how pretty the sound was and just enjoyed the moment for however brief a time it lasted. “I know what you mean.”

“If you ask me, my sister is the bored one. I think she is tiring of her guest.”

Alex’s smile withered. She cast her eyes to the side before they dropped to stare glumly at the floor. “I don’t mean to be a burden. Alura has been more than gracious.”

Astra stared long enough to earn Alex’s gaze back. Her shoulders rose and fell softly as she breathed, wondered, calculated… “How would you like to make yourself useful to science?”

Alex blinked, head jutting forward. “Pardon?”

“You are astonished,” Astra said. “Or did you simply not hear me?”

“Um…” Alex might know the square root of 256 but she couldn’t possibly comprehend the intentions of the woman sitting across from her. “Y-you could say I’m astonished, yeah.”

“This is not coming from Alura, if that is what you are thinking. I do not allow anyone, not even family, to intervene in my affairs. Especially when it is concerning my research.”

“I don’t want to take charity.”

“You may not know me, Lady Danvers, but know this: I am many things. One thing I am not is charitable.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

It came out more brazen than intended but judging by the gleam in Astra’s eyes, she didn’t offend. She didn’t regret it either. There was something quite stimulating in speaking her mind. A sense of freedom abounded when no filter was involved and if Alex desired one thing besides her son it was freedom on this world of bigoted aliens. But she had to tread carefully. It wouldn’t do to be _entirely_ honest, particularly when it came to personal matters.

“What is the position?” she asked.

“Low level support technician. But to give you more context, the Science Council requires empirical evidence before deciding to extend funding. With the deadline approaching, we have just five mesiacs left to collect enough data. My colleagues and I do not have time to take on the menial tasks and the last thing we need is a pack of overeager interns slowing us down. We require someone who can handle the day-to-day responsibilities, assist in experiments when necessary, and uphold the principles of the Institute.”

“They are comfortable working with a human? Will the Institute even allow it?”

“The Institute does not deal in politics, and I have already spoken to my team about expanding our candidate search. We agree that the importance of our research should be held above matters of prejudice. Aptitude precedes race as it were.”

An impressed reaction fought to fill Alex’s expression but she curbed it. “That’s very progressive of you. Is there any pay involved? I’m only thinking of a means of repaying Alura and Zor for their hospitality.”

“You will receive a stipend – one befitting of our modest resources. You will quickly learn how popular we are in the science community.”

The sarcasm was evident. Alex could sympathize by the way the U.S. government overlooked certain departments in order to support projects of morally questionable nature. Like Cadmus.

“I don’t mind,” Alex insisted. She hoped the rushing sensation she was feeling was a result of enthusiasm and not desperation. “As long as the work is stimulating.”

“Time will tell. You have two weeks to impress me. If you fail to live up to my expectations or fall behind in your tasks, I will be forced to terminate you. We can discuss the finer points later. Do you understand the terms?”

“Yes.”

“I have met a few humans in my time. You are not going to disappoint me as they have, are you?”

“No.” A niggling sensation had Alex scrunching her face with good intentions and asking, “Has anyone ever told you that you ask a lot of questions?”

“I am a scientist,” Astra upheld, only vaguely offended. “Asking questions is my job.”

This was definitely not her Astra. For sure. Alex had always been the one in their relationship to ask the questions. Astra had curiosities, of course, mostly surrounding Kara’s time on Earth and Alex’s history before they met, but her questions were more often roundabout and indirect as if she felt she hadn’t the right to ask. Till the very end, Astra still thought herself undeserving of everything that went into a romantic partnership. Even the small questions.

The distance in Alex’s eyes failed to catch Astra who was also gazing away into the void. “If we never questioned our place in the galaxy or the galaxy’s place in ours, what is the point of living?”

Alex nodded thoughtfully in agreement, though she wouldn’t welcome marvel at how her impression of Astra was gently tilting on its axis.

“If you have no other objections…” Astra stood from her chair and bowed shortly “Good day.”

Alex didn’t register the end of the conversation until Astra turned her back. She shot up from her chair, confusion clouding her features. “I thought you came to see Alura? She should be out any second.”

Astra’s pace didn’t falter. Without turning around, she commanded in a deep, booming voice that rang unmistakable in the vestibule, “I will see you at my lab tomorrow at dawn.”

A dumbfounded expression settled on Alex’s face. What just happened? What the hell did she agree to? She was too shocked by Astra’s 180 to question Alura’s possible involvement. The offer just seemed so out of character. So far Astra had given the impression that Alex wasn’t even good enough to eat at the same table. Since they met, she had looked down on her and treated her with disdain. What happened between the dinner party and now that would change Astra’s opinion of her?

She panned over to Qora who looked just as perplexed.

“Did she just hire you?”

Alex couldn’t find a better response than to gape and say, “It would seem so.”

Qora muttered under her breath in astonishment.

Alex grinned. With the amount of time she spent around Kara, she’d picked up on a few swear words. And only when Alura wasn’t around.

She stared toward the empty hallway and mumbled, “<Damn> indeed.”

* * *

It was the Kryptonian version of a centrifuge. When functional, the slots clustered within the cylinder glowed blue and emit a heavy droning sound as it spun in concentric motion. At the moment, the machine was not in working order, forcing Alex to painstakingly reach around the posterior of the boxy machine. In doing so, her naked elbow came into contact with the pile of oily rags on her table.

Alex had the riveting honor of cleaning out the cheap-and-near-cooked-from-frequent-use centrifuge. It didn’t come close to the easiest job on her checklist, nor could it be ranked as most exciting. The slots were so narrow she could hardly fit her brush through. Hence the mountain of black stained rags used to jam into the machine and scrub away.

Alex’s station consisted of a range of lab equipment which was dropped off with the instructions to “clean this” or “fix that” mostly in thick Kryptonese accents while a few in their native language. Their impatience got under her skin. She would have liked just a little kindness. When nothing changed after a few days, it became routine to accept the instructions with a tight grin and get to work. No one liked a complainer.

As de facto lab slave she had been relegated to the smallest station in the lab near the shadowed rear corner and supply closet. Alex now knew what it felt like to be the new foreign exchange student isolated to the back row of the classroom. She couldn’t get any further from the real work being done. Her sole duties consisted of cleaning up after everyone, organizing, and recopying research notes. Astra explained that although these tasks were lowly, they would educate procedure and acclimate her to the research. Only when Alex had mastered these lessons would she be assigned more meaningful tasks.

If Alex paid more attention to her surroundings, she would have been relieved to be in similar company. Astra’s laboratory was located in the oldest complex on campus and furnished with faulty tech and low budget upgrades. Judging by the quality, the Institute didn’t seem to have the greatest support for their research.

Astra mentioned with surly brevity that it was the only space the Institute was willing to offer, but she took it for the sole fact that it contained no offices or enclosed spaces. Close quarters advocated collaboration and that was the kind of atmosphere she intended her team to work in.

The room allowed enough space for seven work tables, most of which jut out from the window side wall. Each table was assigned to a team member for their own use. Everyone had their own lab equipment based on their specialty – some of it paid for out of their own pocket.

Alex focused back on the piece of shit tech. Perhaps she utilized too much elbow grease because the machine was now giving off a sickly rattle. She tilted her ear close to the cylinder and listened for a clean _whirr_.

Miniscule parts turned and revolved in tandem. It gave a soft sigh which picked up to a complacent whir. Alex was just about to breathe out in relief when the heating cylinders lost their blue glow and gave a _pop!_ The entire machine fizzled to dead silence. Alex would have hung her head if she hadn’t been through this before.

“Son of a bitch.”

Before she could assert a fist into the machine, her follow through was interrupted by a broad shouldered Kryptonian.

“It’s not worth a split knuckle. Trust me.”

The light smile eased Alex somewhat. She allowed him to take over by throwing a hand up and huffing in abandon.

“You’ve only been here two weeks, so I’ll let you in on a secret.” He hovered over the machine to reach the back side of the cylinder. “This spectacular block of garbage needs a soft touch.”

“I checked for loose parts,” Alex insisted. She rose on her toes in order to peek over his shoulder

He came back holding up a thin rubber ring, one of the shock absorbers that must have been dislodged by a rough cleaning job.

She scratched her head, wincing. “I guess I didn’t look hard enough?”

Soft-spoken Soren, as he was known amongst friends, smiled and placed it in her open palm. “Just reattach that and it should fire up like new. And I use the term ‘new’ loosely around these things.”

She accepted the smile with humility. Having gone without niceties for so long, one grew used to the coldness of disappointment. It was so rare for her to receive positive gestures that upon first meeting Soren and his respectful bow Alex was nothing if not surprised. Apart from the rest of the team, he was the most welcoming and had been the first to give her a tour of the Institute when Astra excused herself from the honor. His intelligence, unlike most geniuses, did not hinder social etiquette. He smiled easily, always knew what to say when it mattered, and remained silent but observant the rest of the time.

Ironically, the nicest and friendliest person Alex had encountered on Krypton just happened to be Astra’s second-in-command, which meant she had to be careful about what she said around him. All in all, he made working at the lab bearable. Alex may not call herself friend to him and the others, but she had a feeling that she could trust in his judgment. And she wasn’t the only one. In times of failure, the rest of the group looked to his example of composure. Where Astra took on the role of leader, Soren was the glue that held the team together. 

At the moment, those very same team members were shooting glances. Alex didn’t have to check to know where the heaviness of their scrutiny was directed.

“Have patience.” Soren’s voice raised her head. At her feigning ignorance, he continued. “They will learn to trust you in time. It’s best to ignore the looks and keep to your tasks. Professional ethic is something they respond to. We’re all workaholics with no social circles.” He emphasized with a grin. “This lab is our life as I’m sure you’ve noticed we hardly ever leave. Respecting this place is the first step in earning their trust.” He leaned in, whispering low enough for the machine not to overhear. “That means don’t assault the equipment.”

Alex gave him a tired smile. “Thanks, Soren.”

He nodded. “You have any more trouble, just ask.”

“Will do.”

He headed off to go about his business, leaving Alex to think over what had been said.

Soren was right, of course. She wouldn’t win them over by treating their things with contempt. Respect the position, however tedious, and behave in a manner befitting of Kryptonian honor. If there was anything Alex knew best about these Kryptonians it was their code of honor. And she wouldn’t be quitting any time soon, not when she had the most precious motivation on two short legs.

Initially, Alex hadn’t taken into consideration how this would bring her closer to Jeremiah. Since her job started, she hadn’t seen Jeremiah or caught Astra mentioning him. When Alex arrived on Krypton she had observed the first few weeks without her son in miserable turmoil. Now her new job at the Institute occupied her attentions rather splendidly, but there were moments on the job and back at the apartment when her mind ceased to revolve around lab equipment and research notes. Schematics would be replaced by Jeremiah’s smile or the way his fingers grasped a piece of fruit. Babbles of “mama” landed into Alex’s head with such a resounding _thunk_ that she’d shatter a test tube, earning brow raises from the team and a click of the tongue from Astra.

It was becoming habit: the longer she spent away from him the more distracted she became by his existence. It hadn’t affected her work, or at least that’s what she thought, until Astra dragged her into the hallway and called her out on it.

“If you would rather daydream than assist in the passage of monumental scientific research, please say so now. Do not waste my time with petty excuses. I don’t care where you came from or who you’re running from, but you leave your personal business outside this lab.”

If only Alex could run. The very idea was futile. She couldn’t escape if she tried. Running wouldn’t solve her problems any more than it would bridge the gap between life and death. She was locked in Astra’s orbit all because of the one matter of “personal business” that couldn’t be reveal. Not yet.

Instead of explaining her behavior, she deflected. “Some of these tasks you’re asking me to do are borderline demeaning. I’m way too experienced to be someone’s assistant. I have a master’s!” She shifted on her feet and rolled her hand. “Well, sort of.”

“I don’t know what that is but it is no good here. You have to understand that your presence here makes others suspicious.”

“Yeah,” Alex glared at the door to the lab, “I got that.”

“No one trusts a human much less one who knows a striking amount of Kryptonian physiology. I don’t inquire because it is not my business. Others do not conform to such indifference.” When Alex’s willfulness failed to even out, Astra took a different approach. “If you want to excel you have to start at the bottom. You must prove yourself worthy of their respect.”

“They don’t accept me as a citizen amongst them. What makes you think they will accept me as a scientist?”

“That is a question only you can answer. You are not my responsibility – that job rests with Alura. As your professional superior I will give you the tools to prove yourself amongst scientific society. If you cannot keep up with my team’s pace, I will have no qualms about cutting you loose. This will not be like your little pet projects in the DEU or whatever you call it. I will _not_ hold your hand through the process.”

“I’m not asking you to. That’s what I’m trying to get through to you. I have value at a much higher level and none of you can see that.”

Astra released a sigh of impatience. “Normally, I would claim that others’ opinions mean nothing, but this is a different case. Only you have the power to change their minds. If they see you as a threat, make them see different through your actions.”

That pretty much summed up Alex’s first week – glances, avoidance, menial tasks, and a strange vote of confidence from her new boss. Astra’s vehemence struck her as suspicious. The only other people who defended her were Alura and Kara but not with this kind of urgency. Perhaps Astra was speaking from experience. Perhaps she too carried the burden of having to prove her worth.

Though she loathed to admit it, Alex would have to make friends in order to survive. Easier said than done as these Kryptonians would see her plot from a mile away. She actually had to exercise some genuine interest in them or she would get none in return. And she must do so without insulting or starting fights. A hard thing to achieve when Astra was around. She inspired such dislike.

Armed with the advice from Soren and her new boss, Alex put her nose to the grindstone and treated her work like it was more significant than it was. Fewer glances were directed her way that day. She might have noticed if the endless tasks of cleaning cylinders and organizing the supply closet hadn’t possessed her newfound attentions.

When she finished all the items on her list it was around lunch time. The team had gone out for Kryptonian _ryba_ (which Alex discovered to be a sort of sushi roll). Unable to convince their fearless leader to join them, they left her and Alex to their work.

When they were gone, Alex approached Astra. Her station looked no different than the others. She used the same tech in all its occasionally faulty grandeur. At the moment, she was sitting on her stool and bent over the touch sensitive table. Her brow furrowed as she scrolled through her research notes.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Astra failed to notice her presence. “I finished my tasks for the day.” She handed over her datapad for approval.

Astra took it without inspecting the list and bid a distracted, “Thank you.”

Alex wondered if there was anything she had missed. Shifting her weight, a sense of uncertainty came over her. Had she completed her work too fast? Too slow? She was used to receiving feedback from her superiors. It was how she learned to better challenge herself. Not that she had always taken J’onn’s advice seriously. She just preferred to work in an environment where people encouraged one another and _communicated_.

Astra continued to pore over her notes. Alex tilted her head, studying the obliviousness. Perhaps Astra just needed a push. A voice at the back of her head whispered to make friends, show interest…

“Can I ask you a question?”

The mindless rubbing of thumb and forefinger stalled. Astra raised her eyes only to scrutinize the stool Alex was pulling up and sitting down in. “Yes,” she replied with a slight drawl of wariness.

“How did this project come about?” The silence, save for the perpetual hum of cold storage, advised Alex to explain further. “I’m not one to give a half-hearted work performance. In order to be committed, I have to know the importance of what I’m doing. There’s no better person to ask than the team leader, so… what does this research mean to you?”

A tense moment passed wherein Astra hunted for ulterior motive. “Do you not think your line of questioning a bit forward?”

“This isn’t an interrogation. And I’m not threatening to quit. I’m just…” Lost for the right word, Alex searched the glowing screen of Astra’s table. What could she possibly say to give the impression that she had a genuine interest in the research? Though she certainly had a clue as to the origins of the project, she would rather hear it from Astra.

She shrugged slowly and went with honesty. “I’m just curious.”

Astra’s eyes searched her for a moment. There was no pressure in her stare and she showed remarkably little suspicion. “You are a scientist,” she gathered, eyes bestowing companionable acceptance, “that much is certain.” She finally conceded with a sigh. She dimmed her work and swiveled around to meet Alex. “You know the subjects of our experiments?”

Alex propped her elbow on the table to get comfortable. “Victims of trauma and those of whom I gather to be mostly soldiers who have seen battle.”

Astra nodded. “You are correct to assume I have a personal investment in the project. I am well-versed in the effects of post traumatic disorders because of my uncle. He was a veteran member of the Warrior Guild and fought in many wars, most of which took place off world.”

Alex bit her cheek. The question surged like an unstoppable force. “Was he hurt badly?”

“Many times.” Though her voice grew leaden, Astra’s expression remained unchanged as if she were talking about the weather. “His unit was mobilized to places with some of the longest contested borders. As soon as he was given a clean bill of health, he commenced his duty. And this was not just my uncle. Thousands of Kryptonians fought through injury in the name of honor.”

“When you say injury, you’re not talking about physical wounds, are you?”

“Medical officials do not consider psychological damage a reason to detain soldiers. It is a long-held belief that if a Kryptonian can stand on their own two feet, they can defeat any opponent. As long as they are not hemorrhaging or one limb short, they are released from medical care and shipped back to the front lines.”

“But they must have had the technology to detect the symptoms.” Alex felt a growing sickness in the pit of her stomach. “What would they have to gain from a disabled army?”

“It was not just the Warrior Guild that allowed it. All guilds and councils answer to our highest authority: Alura’s precious Council of Law and Kryptonian Behavior. They care nothing for long-term consequences that occur lightyears outside their jurisdiction.”

The memory of cold walls and a musty smelling cot returned. The twinges of claustrophobia could still be felt. “Something tells me that they don’t allow opposition. Did your uncle try to do anything?”

“In a way. He felt that he could no longer serve the people of Krypton, so he deserted. It was a difficult time, especially for scientists.” The muscles in Astra’s jaw tightened at reliving that period. “The Council of Law and Behavior passed a decree that prohibited space travel outside our galaxy. Life on Krypton back then was not as ambitious as it is today. The council wished to focus on homeland matters. From then on, labors and finances were directed towards improving society, eliminating crime, passing new laws every day at a rate never seen before. All it did was sweep our failures into a broom closet never to see progress or assessment.”

Reliving dark times took its toll. Astra rubbed her forehead with a weary fluttering of her eyes. When she raised her head, the exhaustion had been replaced with pained regret.

“We turned our backs on the stars,” said Astra. “My uncle would not give in. He believed that our planet could thrive by sharing its knowledge and culture with other races. He received ample resistance. The Warrior Guild would not let one of their heroes defect to another planet. They wanted him here where he could act as a symbol of resilience to the changes sweeping across Krypton. Pressed by the High Council, the guild sought to use him and other decorated soldiers in their plot to build an ordered society. My uncle did not want any part of it.”

“What happened?” Alex leaned forward on the edge of her seat. “Did he escape?”

“According to a coded transmission that he sent to my father, he had allies on the distant world of Exor. They took him in and offered him sanctuary. He stayed hidden for a cycle until he was tracked down. Ironically, the only off world travel the council allowed was in criminal cases. These were elite bounty hunters – agents of the High Council, not of the Warrior Guild. They hunted my uncle down and executed him without a trial.”

Alex blinked, startled by the swift delivery and vacant emotion. However many years had passed since then, Astra must have learned to govern her anger and funnel it into a more worthy cause.

Alex fidgeted with the sleeve of her uniform, one of the few perks received upon appointment to the Institute. Despite its tight confines, she liked the soft material against her skin and the black tones which soaked Rao’s warmth. At the moment, it helped to relax her apprehension.

“Alura told me you defied the Codex and attended a school for the sciences. Is that because of your uncle?”

Yet another personal inquiry which Astra took in stride. “Yes and no,” she answered, giving no sign that she disapproved of Alex’s curiosity. “I wanted to make him proud, but I did not have to join the Intellectual Guild to do that. My uncle believed that it took strength to follow one’s own path. More strength than it takes to squeeze the trigger on a weapon.”

“Did he know what you did?” Alex would have added ‘before he died’ but it seemed a bit insensitive.

“To a certain extent.” A sedate pale washed over Astra as she turned her gaze down to the table, not far from a fidgeting hand on a shirt sleeve. “We were unable to stay in contact following his desertion. I was finishing my technical training when I received the call of his death.” In the time it took to straighten in her chair and sweep a hand across the table, Astra had fashioned herself back to professional team leader. “So you see why it is so difficult for us to get funding.”

Alex sighed. After all those years, Astra still pressed on in memory of her uncle and the soldiers he fought with and bled beside. A sudden thought caused her to frown. “Does the Science Council have any moral objections to the study or are they just taking orders from Law and Behavior?”

Impressed by the intuition, Astra tilted her head. “The latter as you might have gathered. Where my uncle inspired strength, Law and Behavior breeds fear – especially within their own ranks. Our research, if successful, will have certain implications on society. It would point out the failures of our past and how we did not seek to protect our soldiers when they needed it most. The government as well as the venerated upper caste do not want to admit that their army contained weaknesses. They want to go on believing in their organized, complacent society. To continue this research would be admitting to the imperfections in their system.”

“But you and other scientists are not buying into that system.” Alex was fascinated by the temerity in a select few who, for all intents and purposes, were rebelling against the highest authority on the planet.

“Not all scientists are as outspoken or quick to consider the sacrifices my team and I are willing to make. Despite the High Council’s grand plan, Krypton is still plagued by crime today; you just won’t see it in the affluent districts. As I said, our problems are being swept to a place where it will not hurt them. It is occurring on the streets and under the noses of the media and the councils. If only they would step outside the protections of the city, they would see the poverty and violence and indiscretions as _I_ have seen it.”

Alex considered the woman before her. A woman who, little by little, was opening up to her and making room for respect on both sides. From the depths of her, a throbbing wound began to knit by one thread. “You named your son after him, didn’t you?”

Astra admitted surprise with a parting of her lips. Her eyebrows lowered and created a furrow between them. “Yes.”

They were interrupted by a trill. A handheld device lit up amongst Astra’s things. She reached for it and checked the caller ID. “Excuse me.” She pressed the device to her ear and turned away. “I was expecting your call much earlier. How is he?”

Left to her own devices, Alex swiveled in her chair and was greeted by an empty lab. She circled back to prop her elbows on the table. She pressed her hands together and touched them to her lips. Her eyes searched the table and failed to devote her attentions to something without making it look like she was eavesdropping. 

“Well what do you expect, Non? He is over twelve months old. If he thinks he’s ready to walk then you have to let him try.” Astra placed her hand on her hip as she turned. A wrinkle beset her forehead at the words pouring from the device. The hand left her hip to gesticulate in midair. “Then you must make the time. He is not one of your students you can close your door on. He is your _son_.”

A weight plummeted within Alex. She could have gone without the mention of Non. Her jaw tightened at the thought of him with her son and… subsequently slackened. Jeremiah would be walking soon. Her baby boy would finally get to go places. Alex swallowed the egg-sized lump in her throat.

Hearing Astra talk of domestic matters boded numerous questions about their life together. Alex began to ask herself if Non and Astra developed a schedule around Jeremiah. Would Non take care of him in the mornings? Feed him breakfast, play games, lay him down for a nap, make lunch? Astra seemed like the kind of mother who got her work done early so she could spend the rest of the day with her child. Alex had no evidence to suggest it; just a feeling.

The more time Alex spent around Astra, the clearer Alura’s advice became. She once advised her to tread carefully. This was their life, not hers. As much as Alex wanted to argue that Non was not Jeremiah’s father, she knew that driving a wedge into their family would not help her cause. If Alex ever wanted to hold her boy again and be able to call him by his given name, she would have to be patient. That meant not rocking the boat however often she thought about tackling Non overboard and drowning the bastard.

“Just make sure Qora keeps an eye on him. I’ve given her instructions to call me if he bumps into anything.”

They talked a little longer about schedules and time tables and matters one would share with Siri. It was all stiff and by the numbers. Although Astra couldn’t claim to a military background, she certainly lived an aggressively coordinated life. Alex wondered fleetingly if that started when she became a mother. What with feedings and nap time, Alex had her share of it the first two months.

When Astra ended the call, Alex couldn’t stop herself. “Qora babysits?”

“On days when Alura is not in the office. She is giving a lecture to one of the universities this afternoon.”

“Alura gives lectures?”

Astra did not mince her words. “One of her many contributions to society.”

Non’s call seemed to have motivated Astra because she was powering up her table and returning to her notes. Her renewed focus caused Alex to pause.

“Is there something I can help with?” she asked tentatively. “I can look over everyone’s proofs. The Kryptonese has been catching on.”

Astra glanced up with slight annoyance at the interruption. “You said you finished your tasks for the day?”

“Yes, and I’m more than willing to stay and help out with whatever needs to be done.”

Alex’s presence effected her like water off a duck’s back. As if Astra had not opened up to her and hinted towards a deeply buried lamentation. “I don’t think so,” Astra said, returning to her notes and all but turning her back on Alex. “That is all for today. You can go home.”

Whatever felt like progress shattered at those four words. The weight of failed efforts pulled down her features. Alex wet her dry lips. Steeling herself, she rose from the stool and left Astra to her work.

Alex’s head remained hung as she walked the halls towards the lift. One boot moved before the other at a monotonous pace. She rubbed her wrinkled forehead, straining to understand what she could have done better.

Non’s call should have woken her up. This was her reality: her lover’s deceased husband from another universe was now raising her child with a living representation of her dead lover. A complicated reality, no doubt, but one that must be heeded.

Alex couldn’t allow herself to walk in the clouds and act like this was her home. She had no right to Astra and her life with Jeremiah. She couldn’t just fall from the sky and expect them to welcome her with open arms.

Hailing a transport was as simple as raising a finger. Little did the driver know she was human. He took her money and drove her to her destination.

The closer she got to Alura’s apartment, the more she realized that it was her home now. Alura, Zor, and Kara were her people. They became her friends and made her feel like one of the family. Alex hadn’t felt safer anywhere else. There didn’t seem to be a point in looking elsewhere when there was a perfectly adequate space that nurtured and cared for her. They were her home now. Why couldn’t she accept that and stop trying to attain the impossible?

The door to the apartment slid open. All was silent save for the thumps of her boot heels and a rustling from the kitchen. Alex raced past a confused Alura to her bedroom. She was too frazzled to express words. Her cheeks warmed in rage when she couldn’t slam the door shut. The soft hiss from behind just rankled her.

Without much room to walk it off, Alex resigned herself to the corner armchair. She flopped down without any regard to how petulant she must look. The tension seized her lungs, making it difficult to catch her breath. 

Alex’s head fell into her hands in shame. All it took was one story of Uncle Misha. How could she fall for it so easily? She allowed herself to see something familiar in that woman. She’d never felt closer to her since arriving on Krypton. But then Astra had to ruin it by answering Non’s call and remind Alex that she would never take her seriously. To her, Alex was nothing more than a lab assistant.

The bed creaked softly underneath her. As in a dream, how she traveled from the arm chair to the bed was a mystery. Alex turned up her face in all its bedeviled creases and pleaded to any god who would grant her mercy. She just wanted the feel of a warm body pressing against her. And not just any body. It used to be in these situations that Alex found consolation in Kara and Kara only. Out of sheer self-reliance, she generally preferred not to be touched, even by her mother. Intimacy came as an unsolvable formula to those who could never quite find the right chemistry. But things change when a nuclear-powered Kryptonian sacrifices their second life for you.

Now she had no embrace to feel safe in. Not with Kara and not with Astra. Far be it from Alex to seek solace in a stranger with Astra’s face. She hated the universe for this sick joke it was playing on her. She hated so much she could spit venom on the fertile land of Krypton without care for ‘human contamination.’ She didn’t want a substitute. She wanted the general who saw red, who expressed the most spiteful threats and failed to follow through on every one. She would not accept anyone but the woman wearing her favorite college sweatshirt and sleeping in the glow of the television. She would rather take the sleepy-eyed savage raiding the fridge at 3 a.m. without any pants.

Alex wanted Astra back, chin on her shoulder and pressed into her like gravity cradling a heavenly body. She could have used her advice which had always carried them through dark times. Even when it didn’t, her presence, however quiet, eased the weight in her heart. The sharp mind of a military tactician would have known how to handle this quandary. A delicate situation such as Alex’s, what with the secrets and lies, meant disastrous consequences should she make one wrong move, speak too much or not enough.

She could have used every bit of Astra right now, from her mind down to the grounding power of her kiss. Alex wanted her so badly she tasted tears.

Nothing would rouse her from the rank bereavement. Not the opening of the door or the padding footsteps. When a light pressure fell atop her head, Alex allowed herself to think it was Astra. She believed it down to her trembling bones. For an exquisite moment in time her heart felt warm and full as it had when they were last together. The fantasy lasted for as long as her eyes were shut.

The dip of the bed caused Alex’s eyes to flutter open. She sat up and saw Alura sitting beside her. Alex’s chin trembled. Every tear she ever held back threatened to break through, but she did not break.

Alex’s voice shook when it asked, “Are Kara and Zor around?”

Alura shook her head.

Alex turned her pitiful gaze down and nodded. She sniffed needlessly. “I’m fine. It’s just been an overwhelming day. Work.” When no response came, she found the silence strangely comforting. As the minutes ticked by, she drew strength from it. “I thought I had her. I was so close. For a few minutes I was back on Earth and she was looking at me with a face I memorized a thousand times over.”

“What happened?” Alura asked softly.

Shaking her head, Alex bit her lip to curb the sob. “She was there and then she was gone. It was like losing her all over again and I don’t think I can go through that again.”

Suffering was a constant she never asked for and yet it gave her Kara, Astra, little Jeremiah. Three people she loved more than life itself. Three people who had been torn from her life before she could grasp the significance it would have on her future. Misery came and went, each time clawing under her ribcage, seizing her heart, and ripping it from its cavity.

Alex didn’t cry. By now, she could command her body to a response and it would obey out of sheer terror for what might come if it didn’t. There was no telling when misery would return and defile her with its cruelty.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later when she heard Alura’s voice break through.

“Do not be so hard on yourself.” Her voice insisted with all the gentleness of a lullaby. “It is not through misfortune that you find your family so out of reach and it is most certainly not through your doing. When we realize the illusion of fate, we develop the courage to change it. You taught me this.”

“I’m so tired.”

Alura tilted her head. “It’s only been a mesiac.”

“It feels longer than that.” When the amusement in Alura’s voice caught up to her, Alex glanced up with a frown. “Do you even realize what I’m going through? Whether it’s a month or five days, patience feels like a torment not a virtue.”

“And hope is a fickle thing. Without enough, we lose steam and allow our worst fears to decide the course. Too much and it drives us mad.”

“You say that like you have something to lose.”

“Never doubt my faith, Alexandra. You cannot afford to turn away help in whatever form it comes in. I am invested in this too and not for their sakes.”

It was not kindness that tugged the corners of Alura’s lips in a faint but assuring smile. It couldn’t be understanding that took shape in her wide, rounded eyes. Alex didn’t know what was staring back but she did recognize a sense of something. It was coming off of her in waves and bridging the space with a gradual force that rippled the hairs of Alex’s flesh. 

Whatever it was had her diving forward to find out. Before she could comprehend her intentions, her lips were pressed to Alura’s mouth and seeking answers she couldn’t find elsewhere. For a second, her heart returned to its soulful patters and beat in time with the blood pumping in her ears. This was what it used to be like. It had always bred more adrenaline than the sound of bullets ripping through the air or a searing punch in the gut. The blood thrashing in her veins verified her commitment to a soul edifying love. The magnetic force of that love luring her fists to tighten and bring them that much closer to a line fate prohibited them from crossing. Her existence throbbed for another’s droning hum until they became one wavelength.

For as thrilling as the sensation, it only lasted a second. Alura went stiff and Alex felt her eyelashes flutter in confusion. That brimming hope bred madness. She pressed harder for all it was worth, for all the joy she experienced in a fool’s paradise. But the potential withered like a drooping flower, pulling down the corners of her mouth to a frown. It lasted longer than her mind could comprehend and yet Alura endured it for whatever reason.

Alex snapped back, hand clutching her mouth of its own accord. “I’m so sorry,” came muffled against her perspiring palm. She let go, jaw slack and revolted by her audacity. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that.” The duvet’s smooth quality allowed Alex to slide easily away. She clasped her hands tightly between her thighs and scowled at the carpeted floor. “That was so inappropriate of me.” She couldn’t believe the words falling out of her mouth any more than where she had put that mouth.

“It is… it’s fine, Alexandra.”

The uncertainty in the tone had Alex vigorously shaking her head. “No, it’s not.”

“It was nothing.”

“I crossed a line,” she emphasized roughly. She kept her eyes lowered. “After everything you’ve done to make me feel welcome here… when everyone looked at me like a threat, you saw a mother looking for her child. I don’t think I’m worth the effort, Alura. Just give me the chance to pack my things before you say it.”

“I’m not angry. What happened…” Alura cleared her throat. “It was innocent. I will not throw you out because you miss her. Something unexpected occurred between you and Astra and to right your world you needed to grasp something from the past.”

Alex bit her cheek out of stubbornness. “That’s not why I did it.”

“On the contrary, I think that is exactly why. You may not want to make more of it than it is, but what you fail to realize is that Astra still has a hold over you – in any universe. When I said I would help you, I meant it. I just can’t help you in that way.”

The tears bid freedom from behind her eyes. Alex scrunched back the urge. “I know that. I do.”

“Then do not let this stand in the way of what you seek.”

Alex stood from the bed and pleaded for the last time. “I’m sorry, Alura.”

“I know.”

The grin must have been difficult to achieve for it twitched at a corner. Alex mistook it for discomfort because what else could Alura be possibly feeling? She just forced herself upon a woman who allowed it for lack of any other response. The stifling formality in marriages on Krypton left little room for the folly of intimacy. For a split second, Alex wondered if Alura had ever been kissed. Her frozen response could have translated as shock for any number of reasons, not the least of which was Alex’s self-deception. She had used Alura, however unknowingly, in reliving a feeling long gone.

Sickened by the madness twisting round her gut and horrified at the thought that Alura now hated her, Alex felt her chest tighten.

“I-I need to get some air.”

Alura stood and before she could take a step, Alex was already out the door.

* * *

There was a strict law against transports driving the thoroughfare. It had been relegated as a sort of nature preserve and respected by those who enjoyed birdsongs and natural colors without the commotion of hoverdrives and streaking traffic.

The thoroughfare was lined with crimson trees, flower plots, and painters waiting for the perfect portrait. Alex took this route every morning because it was a straight shot to the Institute. She liked to pass the artists with their dolloped palettes and remember Kara’s unfulfilled career in landscape painting.

Walking this path canopied by leaves of pastel purples and blues was much like navigating down memory lane. Alex could breathe in the clean air, close her eyes, and imagine Earth without being disturbed. Many of the pedestrians were students and faculty of the Institute. Alex preferred their company to normal Kryptonian folk. Working amongst Astra’s team the past two weeks had opened her up to their world and state of mind. There were moments she forgot the quality of her blood and enthusiastically counted herself amongst them. She liked their creativity and free thinking, their theories and proposals towards a society balanced by law and science.

The people and things Alex once treasured could be found on Krypton. She made sure of it by ascribing memories to the things and people that she interacted with. For instance, she saw Kara in the young painters bathing in the sun. She may not speak to them, but appreciating their work from afar was enough. Every new piece of technology reminded her of Winn and how many questions she would ask about it before he started pulling out his hair. Eliza was always with her at work, breathing over her shoulder and offering needless advice. One of the team members bore a striking resemblance to Vasquez in addition to her uncanny satisfaction in following orders. Alex had yet to find signs of J’onn on Krypton, but she would not give up looking.

Although the walk was usually bustling with morning commuters, the day was approaching evening and soon people would be leaving work for the journey home. It was the calm before the flurry and Alex didn’t want to think about how long it would last.

She walked to clear her head. On any other day she would have enjoyed the novelty of seeing these sights in the afternoon, but Alex was far too flushed with embarrassment to notice. If only there was a sparing room to sweat out her frustrations. She could have really used something to beat the shit out of. Unfortunately, the walking only managed to make her thoughts snowball into more nerve wracking thoughts.

How could she be so reckless? How could she jeopardize her one and only relationship on Krypton? Alura was the only one standing between her and imprisonment. She’d been such a good friend to her and Alex had to ruin it.

A stone presented in her path and Alex kicked it into the neatly trimmed grass. When she looked back up her eyes landed on a luckless emergence. A growl stirred in her chest.

“ _Shit_.” Before she could turn around and speed walk the other way, Astra already had her in her sights. A sudden faintness came over her. “God, I need to sit down.”

A bench waited not far, so she made a beeline. The unfortunate nature of the day and all the conflicting emotions it provoked had Alex collapsing onto the bench with a _thump_. Astra’s present course didn’t avert and Alex hardly cared at this point.

Her head was filled with memories, the old and new struggling for the right to sway her every decision. She was in limbo, torn between the person she had been on Earth and the person she was becoming on Krypton. She was lost without a reference point, not knowing who to trust or where she belonged.

The past offered nothing but the inaccessible beauty of her life choices while the future brought a plethora of delusions. Were they so different? She could keep reliving her past through her walks down the thoroughfare and admiring the Kara’s. She could continue to work amongst the Kryptonian Vasquez and imagine her mother and father encouraging her to become an equal member of the team. All those coping mechanisms made limbo more accommodating, but kissing Alura again would not bring Astra back. That aspect of her past was irreplaceable and those feelings too tremendously singular to reconstruct.

There Alex sat on a park bench in the present, plagued by the past and despairing at what the future might bring. Her thoughts sped round and round like a churning black hole until a shadow overcame her. Astra stood before her, work satchel slung across her body.

“At the risk of sounding remotely interested,” she began, “I find myself wondering why my employee is looking paler than usual.” She turned her chin down to better study Alex. The furrow in her brow looked forced. “Are you alright?”

Alex raised her eyebrow. “I’m not calling in sick tomorrow if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That is good to hear.” Without asking permission, Astra took the seat beside her and proceeded to hunt through her bag. The items, whatever they were, clacked and clanged to her searching hand.

“That doesn’t sound like dinner.”

“Your powers of observation are astounding.”

Alex waited to be illuminated. “What’s in there?”

“A toy hover rail.” Astra resurfaced to cast a prudish look. “For my son. The parts are delicate and I think one of the cars has just separated.” She turned her frown back to the bag to find out.

Despite the clear indication that she was butting in, Alex’s curiosity got the best of her. “A hover rail? I’ve never seen any of those around here.”

“No one would. They haven’t been in operation in over a century.”

“How do they work? Or how _did_ they work?” Alex couldn’t help her curiosity. It was the only distraction capable of erasing the last hour. “We have a magnetic version on Earth. I wonder what you use for your propulsion system.”

“It’s all very technical. I don’t think you would be very fascinated.”

Actually, Alex would have been exquisitely fascinated but she held her tongue. Astra was thoroughly occupied, so Alex sank back.

Astra cast a sidelong glance. “I thought you had gone back to Alura’s.”

“I did.” Astra but raised a brow. Realizing that the day was one of reckless actions, Alex turned a blind eye as the words burst out. “I kissed your sister.”

The rustling of train cars stopped. Astra’s attention left the bag to land on Alex. Her face transformed from astonishment to confusion to curiosity. “Is that so?” she asked, voice so even it could have been mistaken for guarded. “When was this?”

“An hour ago.” Alex thinned her lips, unsure that she had the gall to say it. “Because of you.”

“And what did I do to make you kiss her?”

Alex shook her head for lack of a better response. If only Astra was one of those people who let things go.

“Well, Alura hasn’t called me about this, which leads me to believe she can handle anyone desperate enough for attention to throw themselves on her.”

Alex’s mouth dropped open as she turned around. “It wasn’t like that! Why do you have to make me sound like some… some tramp?”

“If my understanding of that word is correct, it is quite fitting for a human, wouldn’t you say?” Before Alex could open her mouth in retort, Astra went on. “Frankly, I do not care who you carouse with. As long as it does not interfere with your work.”

Frankly, Alex couldn’t get past it. “You just called me a tramp.”

Astra took the glare with a condescending tilt of her head. “It’s best not to be preoccupied with labels. ‘Tramp’ is the least of your worries.”

Anger lit Alex’s cheeks. She gripped the back of the bench, oblivious to the strain it caused her hand. “And why is that?”

“Because you don’t want to know what the rest of the world thinks of you.” And with that, Astra stood up.

Despite the unease it would cause Alex, she couldn’t help removing the layers under that statement. Astra clearly spoke towards her standing as a human, but there were additional indiscretions unknown to her.

What, indeed, would Krypton think of Alex if they found out she had a child with one of their own? The High Council seemed obsessed by proper behavior and with imposing that vision on the entire population. For an outsider to come and throw a wrench in their well-oiled machine of a society might bring dangerous consequences on Alex. Astra was right. Being called a tramp should rank very low on her list of concerns.

Alex loosened her grip on the bench. Any ounce of confidence remaining she used to coarsen her tone. “I didn’t ask for your protection.”

“Good,” Astra dealt a self-congratulatory nod and strung her bag over her shoulder, “because I never intended to give it.”

The day had been long and unpredictably misfortunate. Alex might not have been able to recapture a sure thing with Alura, but the more time she spent around her sister, the more she took it as a re-education in Astra In-Ze. Even a short conversation under the pastel blue leaves could bring insight and leave Alex to wonder just who Astra was trying to convince.


	4. Restless Discontent

The two-way communication device sprang to life. Its silver glow bounded off the glossy white furnishings, tricking the room into a false morning. The mobile phone’s vibrations traveled through the arcane material of the nightstand which connected to her bedframe.

But it wasn’t the call that woke Alex. On the contrary, she was much too preoccupied by the vacant side of the bed to notice the device jittering across the surface of her bedside table. Back to the light, her eyes traced the outline of a hand which splayed lifelessly on the smooth linen.

Alex hadn't gotten used to waking up without Astra beside her. Even in the days following Jeremiah’s departure she would lay awake on the sofa, ears pricked up to the dystopian noises of her apartment and still feel a presence. No matter how painful the separation, she could always count on Astra to return home. Now, hand to the ghost-like space of her bed, she was kicking herself for it.

She had taken it for granted: the warmth of another body, the even breaths, and the morning frizz in her face. To turn away the only person who could have possibly understood the tattered remains of her heart was a betrayal to Jeremiah. They should have taken care of each other for his sake. He might not have been a present witness, but she felt the moon and the starts watching. Every night would incite judgment in the beams casting on a bedroom door, always open in shy invitation. Still, she kept to her sofa like a selfish broken-hearted woman building up new walls.

On Krypton, not much had changed. At the end of the day, after a hot shower and customary goodnights to the rest of the household, Alex would lay herself down as she had in blissful times, on the right side of the bed, arm slipped under her pillow, and facing the other side. Upon waking she always found that she traveled to the middle, arm stretched out to the space that had once been filled back home. And when reality sunk in, she would turn to her pillow and admit defeat, sometimes in tears and occasionally in a scream.

The _brum-brum_ from the phone seemed to grow more insistent. Alex rolled onto her back and reached toward the nightstand. Although failing to register the name through her sleep-muddled vision, she answered anyway.

 _“Lady Danvers,”_ greeted the alarmingly awake voice.

“Astra? It’s…” she scrubbed her eyes at the blue glowing numbers and sucked in a monstrous yawn, “it’s really early.”

There came a faint crashing sound, not of glass or metal, but something dull and possibly harmless. A muttering of Kryptonese came from Astra before she replied in a distracted, _“Yes.”_

“And when I said you didn’t have to call me ‘Lady Danvers’ I was insisting. It makes me feel older than I am.”

_“I would not presume to calculate your age.”_

Astra’s get-down-to-business attitude translated through the communication device like caffeine through Alex’s veins. She straightened in bed, suddenly realizing she was _in bed_ and talking to Astra. Bed and Astra, two things she woke up thinking about but never expecting it to come true – in any shape or form.

“Um, do you need me to come in early to the lab?”

_“I am working from home today and require assistance. Have you finished rewriting the notes from Tuesday’s trial?”_

“Hang on. I’ve got it right here…” Alex went to the corner armchair where she picked up her bag and rustled inside. When she found the papers – half in handwritten Kryptonese and the other half in English – she held them up to the light to double check. A long-winded sigh erupted from the other end. “Alright, yes, I’ve finished those.”

_“Good. I need you to bring them here. Alura will give you directions.”_

The sound of whimpering echoed in the background. Alex’s heart jumped and she sank to the bed. “Is everything okay?” she asked, clutching her blanket and wishing on instinct that it was made from all the softness and good smells of her son’s blue one.

_“Your curiosity is becoming tiresome.”_

The line went dead. It could hardly be blamed on a bad connection. With a roll of her eyes, Alex tossed the mobile and got dressed.

* * *

Alex knocked softly so as not to disturb the other tenants. She did not want to explain why she, a human, was visiting a normal, well-adjusted married couple before dawn. Astra may not have any intentions beyond the professional, but her neighbors might not know that.

The door slid open to reveal a startling sight: Astra in slacks and a three-quarter length tunic. They could have passed for pajamas if Alex didn’t know any better. Or perhaps she didn’t know this Astra as well as she liked to think. The black pants and white top emphasized the clash between two universes: old and new, past and present, dark and light, the general and the scientist. The duality of Astra In-Ze. Ironic or not, Alex stalled for words.

“That was fast.” Astra stepped to the side to allow her through.

Alex recovered by adjusting her daypack’s shoulder strap and walking in. “I took a taxi. He was a bit of a lead foot.”

“A taxi?”

“Sorry.” She shook her head and corrected, “Public transportation.”

Alex tried to keep her attention in the foyer but the clutter of the kitchen turned her head. The apartment was much smaller in size to Alura and Zor’s without the convex corridors, but it was close in minimalistic décor. It didn’t take much to deduce that a child lived there. A few toys lay abandoned on the carpet. A bowl of what looked to be cereal was stationed on the kitchen bar and surrounded by wayward, colorful crumbs. Cartons of juice and milk, snack boxes, and what could possibly be the entire contents of both fridge and pantry were spread out on the counter.

Alex bit back a joke on spring cleaning. From what she could see from the foyer, the living room looked just as chaotic. The only arranged feature seemed to be the vase of flowers displayed on a shelved alcove. Their spiked petals were a honeydew green and the crimson stems were sloping from dehydration. So not quite as orderly.

It was obvious between the flowers and the clutter that neither tenants were bothered by the disorder. Having a twelve-month-old occupied their time well enough.

“You brought the notes?”

Alex’s eyes snapped back to Astra who did not seem as encumbered by the mess as her visitor. Springing into action, she procured the pages from her bag and handed them over.

Astra read through the first page, slowly making her way into the kitchen. “Your Kryptonese is improving.”

Having not been welcomed any further, Alex remained in the foyer, shifting her weight. “I catch on to languages more easily when the content is related to science.”

The vaulted ceilings echoed a “Hm” in return.

“Are my translations close enough?” she asked, tentatively. “If not, I don’t mind rewriting them in Kryptonese.”

“No. In fact, I have been trying to get my team to collaborate bilingually. Some of them already have a speaking proficiency in English.”

“Oh.” Alex’s feet moved toward the kitchen. “May I ask why?”

“That’s not pertinent.”

Of course it wasn’t. She held back a grating sigh.

Astra relinquished the papers for a tablet. After powering it on and tapping through, she handed it over. “I need you to check these proofs for inconsistencies.”

Alex accepted the device and began scrolling through its contents. It took a great deal of effort to conceal her surprise. The equations were highly complex, indicating that their transcriber retained an understanding of the material in a way Alex did not – at least at first glance. “When did you come up with this?”

“This morning.”

The living room’s curved window showed a dawn barely breaking. Alex raised a brow.

Astra stared her down. Her voice carried a weight of suspicion. “You look confused.”

“You want me to check proofs now?” Alex’s gaze drifted to the sofa where the stuffed toys inspired an ache. “Here? I thought I was only good for cleaning out test tubes and making copies.”

“You are my research assistant. You wanted more responsibility – here it is.”

“I thought I was assisting the team.”

Crinkles surfaced to the corners of Astra’s narrowed eyes. “If that is a complaint, I can see to your termination from the project. The department chair is only a call away.”

“No! Please, don’t mistake my confusion for indifference. I appreciate the opportunity to be a part of this research – in any capacity.” A bundle of nerves vibrated in Alex’s stomach. There were many reasons to stay, one of which she did not see or hear in the apartment. Ignoring the twist of disappointment, she appealed with a tilt her head. “I really need this job.”

“Fair enough.” Astra took her papers and proceeded into the living room. When she spoke again, the smirk could be detected through her lilting tone. “Was working for my sister so miserable?”

Alex groaned internally at the memory. “I can’t say the filing of legal reports is all that stimulating.” Realizing who she was talking to, the words came stumbling from her mouth. “Damn it.” She whirled around and followed Astra down the stone steps into the living room. “Please don’t tell her I said that.”

A melodic chuckle came from the long sofa. “What Alura doesn’t know will not hurt her.”

Alex rounded the divan and was immediately caught by the image hovering above the concrete-slab-turned-coffee-table. The hologram represented an algorithm – and not just any algorithm. A niggling sense of recognition sparked in her. To note that Kryptonian statistics were at all similar to Earth’s was quite a riveting discovery.

If that was not enough to stimulate Alex’s enthusiasm, the set of graphs popping up did the trick. She watched Astra’s finger slide across the table’s glass top to maximize one of the graphs for inspection.

Swallowing back a fraction of giddiness, Alex rose to the balls of her feet and asked, “Is that a Gibbs sampler?”

“If by Gibbs sampler you mean a random sample from a conditional distribution over several variables then yes.”

“Unknown variables, you mean. Because without a trajectory for chemical reaction, we have no choice but to assign a range of likely outcomes. It’s epistemic modal logic.”

Astra leaned back from the table to better assess the involuntary torrent of savvy. “Is that right?”

“I read the team’s notes.”

Whatever Astra’s aim in the once over, it seemed unnecessary. Since when did appearance correlate with intelligence? It seemed wrong to feel discomforted by those eyes. Alex never used to be self-conscious of her body in Astra’s presence. When clothed, she trembled to the feeling of those eyes undressing her and when naked as sin she melted to unspoken requests. It had been so easy back then. Now everything was so complicated. Now Astra was conspiring, however unintentionally, against Alex’s memories.

Alex shrugged to conceal her discomfort. “And I received high marks in all my statistic classes.”

“You like statistics?”

“Would I be here if I wasn’t?”

Astra’s mouth crinkled at the side; not quite a smile but not disapproval either. She stared a moment longer in consideration before tapping her stylus to the table and pointing to the opposite sofa.

Once Alex was settled, she placed the tablet on her lap and began. A few minutes in, she glanced up. Those algorithms beckoned her like Kara Danvers to a stack of cheese pizzas. She would love five minutes with that holotable.

At the moment, Astra was caught between commandeering the holotable and reading over the notes Alex had brought. It wasn’t long before Alex’s covetous eyes were caught in the act.

“Those are probabilistic models,” Astra said, eyes not straying from her papers, “so if you have anything to contribute, do not hesitate.”

Alex paused, unsure if she had heard right. “You’ll actually take my advice?”

“If it is valuable, yes. We are closing in on our deadline with just under four months to procure results. You can imagine my desperation.”

Despite how Astra made it sound, Alex couldn’t help but smile. She remembered the days of collaboration between subject and researcher, when she had spun theories with Astra and studied from her otherworldly insights.

It was the scientist in Alex that first became attracted to the self-styled scientist-general. Astra had once told her that she did not have formal training on Krypton. Whatever methods she used in developing Project Myriad were learned from her fellow Kryptonians and through the unscrupulous acquisition of knowledge from alien races living on Earth. Nevertheless, Alex thrilled over the perspective of someone who had seen great strides in technology and medicine. Three years spent confiscating alien tech for the DEO hardly discouraged her excitement.

“Do not let this miniscule bit of power go to your head, Lady Danvers.”

It didn’t subdue Alex’s grin. “Now I know you’re just saying that to get under my skin.”

Astra hummed in mock consideration. “Well, if it works…”

A productive silence settled between them. Alex became so absorbed by the review of Astra’s early morning equations that she didn’t hear the stirring of another occupant.

“Lady Danvers, is it?”

Alex jolted in surprise. Non stood there in his work uniform (teal trim symbolic of the geophysics branch). “Alex Danvers,” she corrected out of habit. Why couldn’t these aliens get a clue?

Non shot a questioning glance at his wife.

Astra addressed him without looking up. “I will call you later to arrange a time for supper.”

His lips thinned. For a moment it looked as if he would argue, but the fight slipped from his drowsy expression and he let them be. The heavy footfalls could have been intentional.

A blessed smirk spread across Alex’s mouth as she tracked his noisy progress out the door.

Not long after, Astra clicked her tongue and rose to her feet. Her slacks swished as she tread out of the living room.

Frowning, Alex didn’t get the sense that she had done anything wrong. Before she could come up with a sensible thing to say, the reason for Astra’s sudden exit cried out. The plea rose to a volume Alex’s human ears could detect and rendered her frozen. Hearing her son in distress clenched her chest so painfully she couldn’t get air.

A shushing sound echoed from one of the bedrooms. Alex bent forward to peer down the hallway. It curved out of sight so she could not see much. Soon enough, Astra’s shushes successfully calmed the boy as they did Alex. Still, a thousand and one demands spun inside her head. Was he sick? Did he have a fever? Or was it a nightmare? Had he eaten something upsetting to his stomach? She needed to know. She was his mother for god’s sake.

Padding footsteps followed Astra around the bend. She carried a bleary-eyed Jeremiah with her. He sagged against her, looking spent of energy and as fragile as china. His cheeks were tinged pink.

Alex nearly broke her stylus in two. “Is he alright?”

“He will be.”

As they got settled in the living room, Alex lowered herself back down to the sofa. It hadn’t occurred to her that she had risen and she didn’t dwell on the mystery.

The living room glowed in the sun’s peach rays. The morning had dawned to its fullest and Alex could feel it warming the back of her head. It would seem from the passage of time that the transparent wall dimmed in response to a particular intensity, keeping the bright light from harming Jeremiah’s youthful eyes. Alex glanced across the dimmed holotable. Astra must have dressed him in his day wear before bringing him out. He looked at home in his dark green long sleeve and bottoms. She traced an admiring gaze over the slight curls of his hair. The color embraced that of his Kryptonian parent (though lacking a white element).

Jeremiah looked back with a curiosity that was impossibly endearing. Alex smiled in return. His body gave a slight jolt – no doubt a response to a stranger such as herself – and he buried his face into his mother’s neck.

The movement had Astra looking down at him and then across the table. Alex dropped her gaze and pretended to make notations with her stylus. Her stomach churned in nausea. She hated that she had to conceal interest in her own child. Although she knew Jeremiah’s wellbeing hinged on her discretion, the gray-eyed suspicion told her Astra was no closer to coming around.

Against her better judgment, Alex snuck a few more glances. Jeremiah still curled up against Astra as she worked. His eyelashes brushed her jawline, inspiring the pull on her smile. There was a connection present in the way they breathed together and adjusted to their shifting weights. No one could possibly deny that they were mother and son. Not even Astra who was still under the impression that they shared no blood relation. They were inseparable.

He was also very shy, not that Alex considered it a bad quality. Her memories of him as a baby more often pertained to noises and eager movement. His inability to form words hadn’t deter him from moving his lips and blowing syllables. He loved to be held by both his mothers as well as Kara and Eliza, but the minute he tired of it he made his aspirations known in fitful squirms. There was no doubt that he worshiped them, even as he struggled in their arms or kicked off his booties or threw a rattle at the bars of his crib – because he wanted the attention, Astra once cooed in reflection. He wanted to be heard or Rao help them he would upset the establishment in a mutinous wail.

Ten months later, he seemed absolutely opposed to the spotlight. Soft-spoken and bashful, something changed in baby Jeremiah. There was hardly any trace of the expressive boy Alex once rocked for an hour and a half to get him to sleep. Sensing the protective nature in Astra and based on the prudence of Kryptonian society, Alex understood why. And babies did change, at least she thought they did. She only had hers for two months.

Alex drew in a deep breath and let out her sadness in a wheezing sigh. Her weight sagged into the couch upon exhale. She tried her best to focus. She should be blessed with the opportunity not only to be in Jeremiah’s company but to take on additional responsibilities. Unlike her centrifuge cleaning days, Alex could use this time to contribute to Astra’s research. Perhaps soon she could call it _their_ research and count herself as a full member of the team.

Her mood improved somewhat. Looking on the bright side had always been a challenge even before Earth went to literal hell. Back then she could count on gleaming white smiles and way too much take out. For a fleeting moment, Alex wondered if Krypton had ice cream.

The only noise coming from Jeremiah was a wet, sucking sound. He had since removed his fingers from his mouth and resorted to using his mother’s shirt as a crutch. Astra appeared unbothered by the nibbling to her collar.

“How long has he been teething?” Alex finally asked.

Astra met her with a frown. Upon seeing the innocence of the question, her expression changed to one of fatigue. “Three days,” she replied. Her arm tightened as she bobbed Jeremiah on her leg. Tender instinct had her relinquishing her notes and smoothing his hair back around his ear. “He doesn’t like to be in the care of anyone else,” she admitted quietly.

The guarded affection on display tugged at the corners of Alex’s mouth. A subtle note of warmth eased the doubts that had multiplied since the day she sent her son off.  She finally rested easy in the fact that Jeremiah was in good hands.

“I figured that’s why you’re working from home,” said Alex.

A flicker of something passed in Astra’s eyes. It wasn’t anything like cageyness, but it hardly approached camaraderie either. Alex couldn’t put her finger on it. Before she could commit it to memory, it was gone in the blink of an eye.

 “We’ve been trying different foods and temperatures,” Astra said, “but nothing satisfies him.”

“So that explains the…” Alex restrained from saying ‘mess’ and simply let her pointed nod do the honors. “You know, I don’t know much about Kryptonian dairy products, but that milk is probably spoiled by now.”

A Kryptonian curse slipped from Astra’s lips. Realizing the impressionable ears in her midst, she whispered an apology to the boy and pressed her cheek to his head. The gesture was brief but affectionate, suggestive of the insight Kara shared with Alex. Indeed, Astra limited the contact with her son around others. Alex longed to know why.

A sigh directed Alex to the kitchen where Astra was holding Jeremiah and dumping the milk out into the sink. Multitasking had never looked so maternal on her. Alex caught herself smiling and quickly cleared her throat. She returned to her work as if the sight hadn’t filled her insides with pure sunshine.

* * *

Working from home must have been more productive than Astra expected. The following day she called Alex at the same ungodly hour before dawn and asked if she would stop by. Alex couldn’t think of an excuse not to.

There seemed to be just as much work available to her as the day before. The nature of the tasks refreshed her motivation and inspired her to plow through ten pages of proofs in addition to contributing an insightful theory to better explain their roadblock.

Although comments from Astra were few and far between, she had a way of showing appreciation. Unbeknownst to her, she had given Alex the chance to be around her son. Jeremiah was ever present as he had been the day before, playing on the sofa or watching Astra work from his perch on her lap. It was through an incredible feat of multitasking that Alex was able to both enjoy Jeremiah’s company and finish her work on time.

That day, however, proved difficult to balance her two favorite activities. Jeremiah appeared crankier than usual and this set Astra on edge. She’d made a production of breakfast by hauling out each item and offering it to Jeremiah. He’d either take a nibble and scrunch his face or twist away completely. When they finally agreed on soft crackers, the flaky mess didn’t even upset Astra. She was too relieved at being able to calm his whimpers.

On the sofa, Alex crossed her leg over her knee and calculating the minutes until Jeremiah threw another fit. She shifted once again, trying to get comfortable with the distance. She’d been itching to ask something and it seemed like a good time. Astra seemed distracted anyway. Her eyes were on the line graph hovering above the coffee table, but her mind was miles away.

“I can’t help but notice that you speak English with him.”

Astra’s attention shifted from the graph to the boy sleepily pressing his cheek to the sofa. She leaned back to join him. The lines in her face smoothed at the break. “Yes, I do. Although he comprehends it better than he speaks it.”

Alex’s mouth quirked up. “Does he talk more when _I’m_ not around?”

“It’s not you. He is quiet around all strangers.”

“In any case, I’ve heard it’s good to expose children to other languages. We’re better able to retain information at a young age.”

“When you say ‘we’ do you mean humans and Kryptonians?”

It seemed harmless to ask, so Alex imparted a harmless token in return. “Well, I’m not an expert in linguistics, or xenolinguistics for that matter, but I would bet Kryptonian children catch on pretty quick to most subjects.”

“Are you flattering your superior for a job promotion?”

Alex couldn’t stifle her grin. “Well, if it works…”

Her smugness had quite the effect on Astra. She turned her head slightly and narrowed one of her eyes in mock reprimand. “You are bold for a human.”

“And this is based on what? How many humans have you known, anyway?”

“A few. Mostly visitors from before the prohibition.”

“When the Council of Law and Behavior banned space travel?” At Astra nod, Alex continued. “So these humans, did they come straight from Earth? Who were they?”

“Mostly men and women of science who could not stomach the prohibitions of their own government. They collaborated with other alien races in order to reach the outer limits. Their ability to see beyond prejudices afforded them the gift of knowledge. By the time they arrived here, they were able to share a wealth of culture and intelligence. Of course, even in those days Kryptonians did not take kindly to visitors. They were as stubborn as the race they so often treated with contempt.” Astra bobbed her knee again to keep Jeremiah entertained. “It is my understanding that Earth does not focus on space travel as Krypton once did.”

It reminded Alex of the stifling logic of where she came from. “It’s expensive to build rockets and just as costly to acquire support from the public. We humans have an obsession with money. If it doesn’t make us rich, they don’t see the point.”

A scornful click of Astra’s tongue led her to ask, “They never considered how rich space travel would make their understanding of the cosmos?”

“Not many governments are fueled by the mysteries of the universe, Astra. And most governments are responsible for putting money in the pockets of scientists.”

“Or taking money out of their pockets.”

“Exactly.” An agreeable silence settled between them. Alex peered at Astra with an intensity that penetrated layers. She tilted her head, liking what she saw and ignoring the implications. “You’re not like the rest of them.”

Astra’s brow crinkled. “Rest of whom?”

“Your people.” Alex was amused by the genuine ignorance on display. Astra’s interest in their conversation ran so deep that she didn’t think how it would look to Non or any other abiding citizen. “It’s obvious that Kryptonians are discomforted by humans to the point of embarrassment. I don’t get the same sense from you. At least, you don’t have it out for the entire human race like the rest of people here do.”

“My uncle taught me better than to trust the word of others, especially if it is the kind of drivel perpetuated by those with authority. I draw conclusions from what I see with my own eyes.”

“He taught you to think for yourself,” Alex gathered with a sentimental nod. “My father taught me the same.”

“He is a military man, your father?” Astra’s voice carried a vague note of interest. She appeared deeply moved at the prospect that a human such as Alex’s father might have endowed similar wisdom as her uncle had.

“He was, in a way.” Alex’s gaze fell to the boy. “He would have rather liked being called a scientist than a soldier. We worked for the same organization, though I was recruited long after his time.”

“Ah, the DCU.”

“DEO,” she corrected with a chuckle. “Department of Extranormal Operations. We monitored all alien activity on Earth, confiscating dangerous weaponry and detaining those posing a threat to others. It was not always fulfilling work, but it gave me the skills necessary to keep my family safe, so I couldn’t complain.”

“You must have interacted with a great many species. Is that how you pick up Kryptonese so fast?”

The compliment started Alex. She jerked her head back, mumbling to herself, “I didn’t think I was making very quick progress.”

Astra’s mouth parted to reply but she didn’t get the chance.

Jeremiah’s frustration came to a head as he squirmed from his mother’s side. The move furrowed Astra’s brow and cast her in a shadow of disappointment. She kept her arm around him to keep him from crawling off the sofa. The wobbling of his body had yet to prove his ability to support himself.

“What’s wrong, Misha?”

The ache in her voice nearly broke Alex’s heart. She recognized the helplessness and the doubt it seeded. Countless nights and mornings spent with a wailing newborn had rendered her into a similar sobbing ball of vulnerability. Alex had never considered herself to be a devout person, but there were times she had prayed for the strength to provide what her child needed. She prayed to any high heaven that she wouldn’t screw up as a mother.

Judging by the strain in Astra’s voice and the reflexive grip around his middle, she was entertaining similar pleas.

An idea must have occurred to Astra. She drew an impish smile and poked his belly. “Do you want your Karhu?”[1]

That stopped him immediately. He raised his head, met her eyes, and with a trembling chin he nodded.

“Okay.” She sighed like a bomb detonation had just been averted. “Let’s get your Karhu.”

Alex had no a clue what a _karhu_ was until they returned from his bedroom. Jeremiah was back on Astra’s lap and clutching a brown bear to his chest. The very same brown bear Alex grew up with on Earth. The one she had left with him in Kara’s pod when saying goodbye.

It still looked ratty and dilapidated as ever but extremely well loved. Jeremiah’s fingers clawed through the worn fur as he held it upside down, the back paw stuffed in his mouth. It brought tears to her eyes to know that some things hadn’t changed. He always had the habit of gnawing on that paw. It looked to have seen its fair share of drool.

But like all relationships between toy and toddler, the bear failed to hold his attention for long. With precise determination, Jeremiah flung the bear where it would cause the most damage and threw his head back with a whine.

“ _Misha_ ,” reprimanded Astra.

The tantrum scattered her papers. They floated and sailed in a disordered mess on the floor. She had spent the past two days highlighting through them with a red marker, gathering evidences that would greatly help in their next trial. Unfortunately, she failed to number her pages so their unforeseen dispersion set her back.

From the movement of her jaw, Astra was stemming frustration by biting her cheek. The only thing that could possibly abate it completely was a meeting of their eyes. “I don’t know what you want.” She combed his hair back in soothing strokes and looked at him with unconditional pleading in her eyes. “Tell me what will help, my _malen’kiy zvezda_.”[2]

Not even a pet name could coax cooperation from Jeremiah. He failed to answer by twisting away from her, so Alex took over.

“Why don’t you just ask Alura? I’m sure she went through the same thing with Kara.”

“That is what she wants me to do.” The notion stirred a long simmering resentment in Astra. “She is the eldest by twelve minutes and for some reason it’s given her some kind of self-aggrandizing authority. Since we were old enough to talk, she has used those twelve minutes over me in any way she can. Begging her to advise me on the rearing of my son would make her cycle.”

“You shouldn’t let your pride stand in the way of his wellbeing. He’s clearly in pain.”

Astra shot her a scathing look. “Did I ask for your advice?”

Alex was too exasperated to reply or ask permission for what she was about to do next. Throwing up her hands with a huff, she shot up and marched into the kitchen. “Where are your clean washrags?”

Astra frowned at the all-around assertiveness in _her_ home. Jeremiah gave a watery holler. Her mouth opened and closed in hesitation. She managed to get out, “Top middle drawer.”

When Alex returned, she handed over the cool, damp washcloth. “Try this. It might soothe his gums.”

Astra looked between the cloth and a flushed Jeremiah. Tears streamed down his cheeks and soon his wails turned to feeble whimpers. Whatever suspicions she had about Alex vanished when she accepted the aid. She sat him up in her lap and touched the cloth to his lips. With soft encouragement from Astra, he finally took it.

A bit shell-shocked by her own intuition, Alex sat back down. She wasn’t sure if it would work. Apparently she hadn’t lost her touch. Somewhere inside her still resided that motherly instinct. Joy tickled in her chest to see Jeremiah laying back against Astra who settled her chin on his head and relieved to see him suckling in content.

“How did you know?” Astra asked.

Alex had spent nine months reading through every parenting book she could get her hands on. The panic of becoming a first time mother (and an unexpected one, at that), was great motivation. But that’s not what she said.

“I had friends back home who had babies.” Before the morose shadow could swallow her mood, a bright idea lit her up. Rising to the edge of her seat, she fashioned an expression of nonchalance. “I’d occasionally watch their kids. It’s why I have some experience with them.”

“A grown woman watching over another woman’s child? That does not sound remotely appropriate.” The sardonic tilt of her mouth abated for her to add, “No offense intended.”

Alex’s shoulders slumped. “I suppose it depends on the person. Why do you have Qora take care of Misha then?”

“I trust family.”

That shut down the conversation unequivocally. Astra may have transitioned smoothly back to her work, but Alex failed to get past those three words. They pestered her as a stone in a shoe would. If she stopped to examine it too long, whatever progress they had made would stall, or worse, be lost on her exhaustive need to analyze.

Just as Alex completed the review of Astra’s proofs, movement caught her eye. Jeremiah was turning his head, on the look out for something to meet his demands for attention. The toys Astra had brought him lay strewn and forgotten on the couch. Despite his need to explore, he remained seated next to her. In all likelihood she would have stressed to him the bad form in straying from her side. He barely reached the height of her hip when standing, and a tumble off the sofa would incur the kind of injuries every parent had nightmares about.

The limited décor of the apartment failed to entertain him, so he pulled on Astra’s shirt. A string of Kryptonese came from him and was too garbled for Alex to translate. Astra, too deep in concentration, ignored the feeble tugs. She managed a distracted hum which seemed to frustrate him more.

“Mama…” His expression contorted with insistence, yanking hard enough to jerk Astra out of her daze.

Eyes on her hologram, she patted his leg with a “Sh-sh.”

Alex observed them like a reluctant spectator. “May I play with him?” Astra, jerked out of focus, flashed her a confused expression. Alex explained concisely, “He looks a bit cranky. And you don’t like to be disturbed…”

“Oh.” She shook her head distractedly and went to pick Jeremiah up. “Yes, that would be fine. I’m seeing these calculations through to practical application.”

Alex finished for her. “And you could use the space.”

She followed them a few paces from the sofas to a playpen and a scattering of toys. The area was definitely Jeremiah’s private stomping ground as evidenced by his squeal of enthusiasm. Being deposited there meant play time galore and he knew it.

Alex contained her own enthusiasm by sitting down with Jeremiah and starting a game of blocks. She hunted amongst the various items, looking for something educational and simple to start. The soft blocks came in different sizes and colors – simple tools for language exercise. Jeremiah caught on with a glimmer of excitement and snagged the nearest block.

“Oh, you wanna start with that one? Alright. How about the blue? Can you give me that one?”

From his cross-legged position, he studied the selection. When he found the right one, he dove into a crawl, bottom swaying, until he leapt on the blue foam.

Alex chuckled heartily to his efforts. She watched as he left the block in front of her and sat back down and waited for approval. Another chuckle slipped from her as she bid him a wide eyed, “Good job!”

He smiled proudly, seemingly forgetting the stranger he had shunned since then. It would appear that his need for activity outweighed his suspicions. Alex didn’t complain. She just wanted to put another smile on that face of his.

After stacking the blue block on the first, she encouraged him to find a yellow one. They continued the game like this with her asking for a particular color or size and Jeremiah bringing it back. Occasionally, her instructions would stump him and he’d be forced to point to each one until Alex gave a nod. He was great with colors, she discovered, but his proficiency in distinguishing the names of sizes needed improvement. Of course, they were working in English, so he might have comprehended better in his native language.

With each block their process improved. Alex provided incentive in claps and congratulatory comments while Jeremiah listened to direction more easily and retrieved much faster because of them. Their combined efforts transformed a few blocks into a tower the height of Alex’s seated position. Then came the fun part.

She ducked her head down conspiratorially and whispered, “Do you want to knock it down?” She tapped her knuckle against one of the blocks for emphasis.

He opened his mouth in a little gasp. He wasted no time in getting to his knees.

Laughing, Alex took it as a doubtless “yes” and helped him to his feet. “Okay,” she said, matching his grin with one of her own, “you ready?”

Her index fingers were clutched in each of his clammy hands. His breathing came in anxious puffs and before Alex reached the count of three he threw himself into the stack. The head-butt upset the balance and both toddler and tower came crashing down.

“Hey,” Alex mock glared, “I didn’t reach three!”

Jeremiah lay giggling in a sea of foam blocks. She tossed one of them on his belly and it went bouncing off. He got a kick out of that and flayed his arms as if he were making a snow angle. When that fun burned out, he struggled to sit back up.

“Mama see?”

“I don’t know…” With a wily smile, Alex turned around for confirmation. “Astra?”

Astra was observing with her chin in her hand. Her cheeks tinged pink in appreciation. A hum vibrated between her stretching lips and she assured, “I saw, Misha. Very good.”

Alex and Jeremiah proceeded to make four more towers, each one taller than the one before. They were having a gas. There was no limit to the amount of giggles and claps the boy could produce. He even felt comfortable enough to bring the last few blocks directly to Alex with a soft push of block into her chest. The gesture of trust touched her to the point where tears sprang in her eyes.

She couldn’t get over how big he had grown and how quick he caught on to the game. This was her little boy, she kept thinking. The son she never thought possible. The only treasure she could not bear to be parted from. Happiness burst from her lips in hearty chuckles. Since he last lay bundled in her arms, she’d never felt more complete or more at home. All her problems melted away with a grasp of his hand, the very same one Alex felt when he lay yawning in Astra’s arms, only two days old. She was so overwhelmed by the memory she nearly called him by his birth name. Thankfully, she caught herself in time. Jeremiah was far too wrapped up in the activity to notice her panicked expression.

The block building held his attention for a half hour. By the time he moved on to something else, Alex found herself surrounded by stuffed animals. It looked like Jeremiah brought the whole animal kingdom of Krypton to her. As he took up his treasured brown bear, he instructed her to pick out one for herself with a not-so-subtle thrust of plush to her stomach. The winged creature would have been too rotund to take flight in the real world but Alex made do with a few diving motions and embellished screeches.

Elated, Jeremiah giggled to her sound effects and hopped his bear up and down to show his enjoyment too.

They became so wrapped up in their play acting that Alex forgot Astra was in the room. When she finally made her presence known, it traveled the distance between them as a tentative arrow of inquiry. No matter how gentle the delivery, it hit Alex with a penetrating force.

“May I ask why you left Earth?”

It was innocent enough and yet Alex locked up in hesitation. She already felt the beginnings of a swirling chasm in her chest pulling every happy thought into its destructive depths. Maybe if she hedged long enough Astra would leave it alone. If she didn’t say anything, the line would be drawn and Astra would never ask it again.

“Someone gave me the chance to escape my fate.”

The words fled the pull of her misery. Something whispered to her the sanctity of memories – good and bad – and how they continued to transform her. Honoring the fallen meant giving voice to their sins as well as their virtues. She could not disrespect all those she left behind by keeping them locked away in the company of her nightmares.

Astra extrapolated from the vague answer. “Your life was in danger.”

“That didn’t matter. I was in danger whether I stayed or left. My pod was small and repurposed from a previous collision. There was no guarantee of safe travel.”

Alex’s back faced Astra, so she had no sense of what transpired in her expression. She brushed her fingers through the supple, wispy carpet, absent-mindedly combing them back and forth until a stuffed feline crash landed into them. Her jolt of surprise pulled a giggle from Jeremiah.

“My reason for leaving…” Though she barely heard her own voice, she knew it would be detected by Kryptonian ears. “… I was not thinking of myself.”

“You are a brave human to have attempted such an endeavor. Not knowing where you will end up or if you will survive the journey… that is brave for –“

“A human. Yeah, I know.” Alex shook her head. Here she thought Astra was so different from her people. Boldness inspired her to turn and glower at Astra. “Why can’t I just be known as a brave _person_? Do you people always have to lob ‘human’ at the end of every comment directed at me?”

The passion infused argument provoked Astra’s mouth to open. She caught herself and blinked to correct her expression. “You are right. Forgive me. I did not mean to be insensitive. Resourcefulness and bravery are impressive qualities not found on Krypton these days, not in our councils, laws, or even our scientists. I was not singling you out. In fact, I was trying to express my intrigue.”

“Trying being the operative word.”

Judging by the pause, Astra had been successfully disproved. It only lasted a few minutes. “Would you like to have lunch now? I can request delivery service.”

“You don’t want me to leave?” Alex tore away from Jeremiah to gage Astra. “Yesterday you asked me to go after my work was finished.”

“Have you finished those proofs I gave you this morning?”

“Yeah. I made notes in the margins. It’s all there on the datapad.”

“Then why don’t you stay and give me your notes in person.” Astra’s tone left no room for argument. “I prefer to hear my colleagues’ proposals rather than read them. That way you can defend your position.”

Alex didn’t know if she had any forehead left for her soaring eyebrows. It was unclear if Astra’s suggestion came from a place of professionalism or if she had grown used to the company and wished for the continued assistance with Jeremiah. Alex hoped for both the former and the latter. Before her thoughts could develop further, she mentally stumbled over the fact that Astra just called her a _colleague_.

Unwilling to spoil her promotion with overt enthusiasm, Alex swallowed with a wince. “You intend to dispute my feedback?”

“That would depend on the value of feedback. And we shall do so after lunch.” On her way to the kitchen, she nodded at the rousing agitation of her son. “Misha does not liked to be kept waiting and you have not seen how bad-tempered he can be without his meals.”

“I’ve seen more than I bargained for,” Alex admitted under her breath and spared a beaming smile at Jeremiah. She would take all the temper tantrums in the world if it meant being near this precious boy.

Her finger crept toward his rumbling belly and he latched onto her in the nick of time. Alex smiled and moved her finger. He continued to clutch on, his whole body wobbling to her waging finger. His giggles could have made Rao beam brighter with joy.

* * *

Alex returned to Alura’s and Zor’s in bright spirits. She wore her elation in feather light smiles and distant stares, unwilling and unable to shed the high playing with her son had brought her. Everyone noticed the behavior, and they seemed quite entertained by her obliviousness. Of course, Kara couldn’t contain herself and proceeded to pepper her with a torrent of questions.

“How is Misha?”

“Can he pronounce my name yet?”

“Has he said _your_ name?”

“Is Aunt Astra going to visit soon?”

“Will you tell them I said hello? And that I’d love to sleepover?”

That last one was more of a request yet Alex laughed anyway and promised to pass it along. She answered each and every one of Kara’s questions without hesitation. In no way did she feel bothered. Kara obviously missed the old days when she had Aunt Astra to herself, but she seemed to have adjusted to Jeremiah’s place in their family and saw him as a means to grow closer to both of them. Alex’s heart went out to her. She made a mental note to help the relationship along if she ever got close enough to Astra to advise in family matters. The thought of seeing Astra with Kara made her heart swell.

The interrogation lasted for as long as it took them to set the table and get halfway through dinner. By then, Zor advised Kara to settle down and leave Alex alone before she tired of them completely. No such thought was entertained by Alex. She’d grown used to living with them to such an extent that the idea of leaving had her chest constricting in panic. She may never tire of them, but would they ever tire of her? Alura may consider her to be family, of a sort, but neither Zor nor Kara knew her connection to Jeremiah.

Alura…

Since Alex’s indecency, a modest distance had stretched between them. Although things had been quiet, their behavior did not approach the bounds of awkward. They continued to trade pleasantries and ask after each other’s day. Neither Astra nor Jeremiah were brought up in conversation and the subject of the kiss had been whisked off the table as if it had never occurred.

She appreciated the space that Alura was giving her. There were no shortage of mistakes Alex put under her microscope, not the least of which was that kiss. The fact that Alura proved understanding did not deter her from analyzing it. She knew how traitorous her actions were. To grasp closure with her lover’s twin reached a level of impropriety that Alex refused forgiveness for. She didn’t deserve it when Alura opened her home to her.

While Alex swam in self-condemnation, it never occurred to her that Alura created that distance for her own benefit. Too busy coming to terms with the grief process, she didn’t see Alura acclimating to the repercussions of that “event” which remained unspoken.

Unspoken, unresolved tension always broke the surface eventually. It crept up on Alex in her post-Jeremiah delight. Dinner wrapped up on a delicious note. Once again, Zor scored points on his culinary expertise and rendered them silent and munching in awe. After the table and kitchen had been cleaned, they moved into the living room to be entertained by a weekly drama program. Although Alex caught on to the dialogue rather well, she didn’t really feel like surrendering to an imaginary world.

The balcony was the perfect place to muse on the day’s events. Alex leaned on the railing to view the night sky. The lack of stars disappointed her. At that height, there were still plenty of lights from buildings and traffic to blot out constellations. Instead of letting it get her down, she closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air. Her lungs expanded to its crisp quality. She didn’t shiver. The close weave material of her sleeves protected her like a second skin.

“Don’t you look like the cat that swallowed the kiri bird.”

Frowning, Alex turned around. “Pardon?”

Alura smiled. “May I join you?”

“Sure.”

“It seems as though your day with Jeremiah has made quite the impact on your mood.” She settled her hands on the railing. “I spoke to Astra this evening.”

A wealth of hope surged in Alex. She could barely keep her feet on the ground. “What did she say?”

“That you have been a helpful assistant.”

“Oh.” Her hopes plummeted with her stomach. She caught the questioning look and explained, “It’s just not the response I expected. Maybe my imagination exaggerated the whole thing.”

“On the contrary, I have not seen Astra this impressed by anyone – human or Kryptonian.”

“She considers me an assistant. That explains enough.” Alex’s stare dropped to her hands which opened to reveal the clammy residue of her enthusiasm. How could such elation be quashed so irrevocably? “I don’t think she takes my advice seriously. She argued on every point I’ve tried to make.”

“Isn’t that the modus operandi of any scientist? If Astra didn’t care, she wouldn’t put the effort into a row. She intends to groom you into her protégé.”

Alex’s head whipped around. “She said that? When did she say that?”

“She didn’t have to say it. I know my sister, Alexandra, and I can tell when she has spotted potential. If you didn’t have any, she wouldn’t waste her time. And trust me when I tell you that Astra is nothing if not scrupulous with her time.”

“She wants a protégé?” Alex had a hard time believing it, yet the idea caught like wildfire. She stared off into the stagnant fog. “She wants me as her protégé.” Hearing it from Alura was one thing but coming from her own lips made her dizzy.

“Unfortunately, the Institute does not have the resources to promote you, but that will not stop Astra. When the time is right and you have passed her innumerable tests, she will make you a full-time consultant.”

“Wow. I just… this day has been so unexpected.”

Alura smiled. “In a good way I see. How was it seeing Misha again?”

“Where do I start?”

Alex started at the beginning and didn’t leave anything out. Even as she ran out of breath, the delight of sending her son into fits of giggles spurred her on. She recounted the morning and her intuition with the washcloth, block building and animal sound effects, and her tip toeing around the explanation of her departure from Earth.

By lunch time, Jeremiah continued to be adequately entertained by his new friend, leading Astra to suggest take out. Apparently, like Alura, she wasn’t much of a cook. When the food arrived, they all sat around the coffee table eating in companionable silence save for a few comments on the palatability. The quiet didn’t bother Alex who was far too invested in watching Astra feed Jeremiah. He had sat happily in her lap and babbling between mouthfuls. Being with them like that, eating take out and dispensing all their attention on the little boy reminded Alex how it used to be on Earth. It was so reminiscent of her Astra that she wanted to cry tears of joy.

After lunch, Astra had dived right into a debate about her proofs and the alterations Alex had suggested. Although she really laid into Alex about her methods, it was an all-around informative argument – one she hoped to have again in the new future. Fighting with Astra, armed or not, had always been a thrilling experience. To do so in an intellectual capacity invited a new challenge and one Alex accepted wholeheartedly.

“It’s been a day of surprises,” Alex finished. Her hands gripped the railing as she reeled back in amazement. “Good surprises. And with a possible promotion in my future? Which reminds me, how did you and Astra get to talking about me? I thought you two didn’t haven the greatest relationship?”

It had Alura musing with a far off gaze. “I’m making more of an effort, I suppose. It’s not often I take an interest in Astra’s research. Mostly because she doesn’t want my advice, not that it’s ever stopped me from giving it.” She turned back to Alex and revealed startling tranquility. “I must thank you for your interference however indirect. I haven’t felt this close to Astra in many cycles. While it may not seem as close as your relationship with your sister, it has improved little by little.”

“How did I interfere?”

“After two hundred cycles it takes a great deal of motivation to endure the bonds of sisterhood. Astra can be a bullhead just as I can lord all sorts of influence over her.”

“The twelve minutes thing?”

“She told you about that?” Alura rolled her eyes and pulled a sardonic smile. “Of course she did. And I suppose you fell for her tale of woe?”

Hook, line, and sinker, thought Alex. Blushing fiercely, she merely shrugged and replied, “She can be very persuasive.”

“Astra would have made a shrewd judge,” Alura mused with a shake of her head. “In any case, my perspective on our relationship has changed over the course of your stay. It began when you told me of your Astra’s experiences on the other Krypton. The actions you said I committed in that world… I could not imagine treating Astra in so uncompromising a manner. No matter how many arguments we have, I will always support her.”

Alex nibbled her lip before gently asking, “So you don’t think you’re capable of betraying her?”

“I didn’t want to consider it before, but now I am beginning to understand how my ignoring the possibility might make it come true. Your arrival here has forced me to reflect on the past as well as the future of my relationship with Astra. And not only with her.” Alura’s expression twitched slightly. She pulled her head down until her chin touched her chest. “I have been lost in thought since that day I find you in your room.”

A spike of worry pierced Alex. She turned to face Alura. “We don’t have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Does it make you uncomfortable?”

“If it causes you confusion, yes. I never intended to hurt you. It was very wrong of me to use you. I’m so ashamed and, really, I don’t go around kissing people like that. I don’t kiss anyone, for that matter. That you can even look at me and not want to slap me is…” The guilt pressed down on her to such a degree that had Alex pinching the bridge of her nose.

A slow smile caressed Alura’s lips. “I have no intention of reprimanding you, Alexandra. I wish to thank you.”

Bewilderment set upon Alex like a smoke cloud; it had her blinking rapidly. “I’m sorry?”

Alura chuckled. “I am _thanking_ you. In no way did your actions invite anger. Rather, it summoned some underlying thoughts I never knew I had. When you kissed me, I realized I wasn’t attracted to you. The insight has been most enlightening.”

Caught between a chuckle and a gawk, Alex tilted her head and choked out, “Um, you’re welcome?”

“I do not mean to insult you. You must understand, many couples do not engage in sexual liaisons. With the convenience of birthing matrixes, there’s not much of a point. You must have noticed how few of us hold hands in public or engage in anything remotely close to affection. It is highly unconventional.”

Alex tilted her head further, regardless of the kink it produced in her neck. “So you and Zor…?”

Alura chuckled at the confounding blush. “There are no details to be embarrassed over. When Zor and I met, I felt something for him, something I couldn’t quite define beyond love. Now I think I have an idea.”

The implication had Alex scratching the back of her neck. “I guess I’m glad I could help. You know, now that I think about it, I have noticed something different about you two.” Scrunching her face in thought, Alex recalled a strange occurrence earlier that night of Alura eyeing Zor across the table and his averting her like a bashful schoolboy. A smug grin perked the corner of her mouth. “I did sense a vibe during dinner tonight...”

Now Alura was the one blushing. “ _Alexandra_.”

To which Alex barked with laughter. “We have a saying back home: a lady never kisses and tells.”

Judging by the nostalgic smirk on Alura, it became apparent that she and Zor had approached first base territory. Alex fell silent, letting Alura enjoy the moment. It would have been more fitting for Astra to be entrusted with this secret, but she was not there. Alura chose Alex and she accepted the honor of temporary ‘sister secret keeper’ as Kara always used to say with a nudge of her shoulder.

The bump crinkled Alura’s brow. “What was that for?”

The puzzled expression so adorably mirrored her daughter. Alex simply smiled and looked up to the stars breaking through the clouds. “It’s our new thing, Alura. Just roll with it.”

* * *

On her third day home from work, Astra called Alex again. This time, waking before dawn did not come with its usual cranky lethargy. If they were going to make a habit of this, Alex decided to do away with 29 some years of ‘slow to rise’ and accepted that she was now a morning bird.

It didn’t hurt to have motivation. True to form, Jeremiah delivered even if he napped for most of the time. Though having slept through gum pain the night before, his pleas for Astra to stay proved successful. Yet again she made a decision most working mothers on Krypton would not entertain making. When it came to her son, she did not ‘make concessions’ because there was no price to be paid for spending time with him.

It was surprising that Astra revealed these matters upon inviting her in. Alex would have thought most Kryptonian mothers too rigid in caving to their child’s pleas, and if they did they wouldn’t freely admit it. But considering Astra and Jeremiah’s growlingly public affection for one another in front of Alex, it wasn’t a complete surprise to get another call. In the two days she had spent in their home, she was becoming familiar with their symbiotic relationship. Jeremiah needed Astra as much as she needed him. When he fussed, she bent over backward to soothe him. When Astra was looking for a break in her work, Jeremiah was always there to prop his head on her lap and submit to the hair stroking that brought them both reprieve.

On the third day, Jeremiah ended up passed out next to Alex. She hardly minded the feet wedged under her thigh. It kept them both warm, although for two disparate reasons, one of which Alex kept to herself.

Alex smiled as she checked off another task on her itinerary. She liked being able to use the high efficiency tablet because she could take it home with her and continue jotting down notes whenever an idea struck her. Not having the other team members around may have put their adjustment period on hold, but it was nice to be surrounded by the creature comforts of a home. It sufficed to say that Alex could get used to working there.

At the moment, the snores from a post-lunch nap served as relaxing background noise. Neither she nor Astra spoke for the last hour, each enjoying the tranquility wafting off the normally fussing one-year-old. That and they feared anything above a pin drop would disturb his slumber.

Taking a pause in her proof review, Alex glanced up at Astra. Working at home mellowed her out considerably. She was not a dogged superior like she was at the laboratory. Although they had their fair share of arguments over whose concept proved more reliable. That was Astra at her best. Even raging mad she could be endearing. Her eyes flared to her scientific passions and her brows clashed together whenever Alex proposed some outlandish theory.

She’d never known Astra quite like this. Her absurdly inquisitive nature towards science left no room for much else but Jeremiah. She compartmentalized her duties, most of which had nothing to do with Kryptonian mediocrity. Astra assumed the role of a fiercely independent woman balancing career and motherhood and she did so on a planet that did not recognize this level of nerve. Whatever idolatries she possessed outside her research and her child remained under lock and key.

A general may have done the same once, but many years spent in prison and living the underground life of a terrorist had a way of dissuading the soldier from strict tendencies. Roaming free from council law provided a second chance that was not to be wasted on restraint, and coming back from the dead had a way of shedding all predictability.

It was the general’s chaotic passion versus a scientist’s restrained curiosity and it confused Alex at times. She had but to glance at this Astra, chin in her palm and scrutinizing the variables plotted on her graph, to realize how fine a line there existed between passion and curiosity.

Alex quirked her mouth into a smirk and whispered low enough not to wake the napping child. “If you keep this up, your team is going to start thinking you’re a hermit.”

Astra’s eyelashes fluttered. She looked from Jeremiah to Alex and said, “If my son needs me, I go to him. It’s as simple as that. If it takes a month… a year… I will do everything to make sure he’s taken care of. Should my continued absence mean the breakdown of my research…” her eyes fell on the gentle rise and fall of Jeremiah’s shoulder, “then so be it.”

The urge to embrace Astra and assure her that she was not alone crept up on Alex. There were no shortage of privileges she would sacrifice should they keep Jeremiah safe and happy. As with other growing urges springing forth since working in such homey quarters, this one was mentally quashed.

She smiled kindly and spoke as a meager bystander. “You may not admit it but you’re one of those moms who smother their kids with attention.” At Astra’s frown, she added, “It’s not an insult. In fact, I think it’s a great means of establishing a parent/child attachment. God knows how much affection Kryptonian parents starve their children of.”

“You would be surprised to know that any regard shown amongst our people is primarily directed towards children. It might not be recognizable to an outsider such as yourself, but a pat on the head is the equivalent of a human embrace – more than satisfactory for us. When a child reaches a certain age, however, that affection is turned into modest respect. It is how we are able to come into our own without the encouragement from family.”

“So you’re basically thrown into the thick of it?”

“Building reputation does not necessitate attachment.”

“But if Kryptonians live over hundreds of years, what’s the rush? Can’t you just enjoy your youth without the pressure? It just sounds kind of elitist to expect all young adults to honor their entire house and succeed in a guild before the age of twenty-five.”

A sigh and roll of the eyes later, Astra set her straight. “This is why Kryptonians are embarrassed for humans. Our lifespan allows us the benefit of improving our intelligence and contributing great strides in science, mathematics, art, and the like. You and your race are held back by an insufficient lifespan and how do you spend it? By wiling away the cycles learning nothing but the most mundane activities.”

Alex laughed at the gall. “Like what?”

“Like…” Astra’s face scrunched in thought before spitting out, “… _baseball_. Do not think me uninformed. I have seen Earth documentaries on the subject and they are most definitely the cure for insomnia.”

“Okay, while I agree with you on baseball,” Alex’s amusement faded with a shrug of her shoulders, “if that’s how someone wants to spend their time, who are you to judge? For some people, recording sports statistics or betting in fantasy football is a fulfilling aspect of their life. Not that I understand it.”

Astra raised a brow in challenge. “And how did you spend your cycles on Earth, I wonder?”

“You’re looking at it.” She raised her tablet for emphasis.

“Working? Did you not have other diversions?”

“My sister.” When the words finally registered, Alex mentally kicked herself. What happened to filter?

“A sister.”

The tone carried a touch of indulgence that would not remain unsatisfied. Conflicted, Alex’s mouth twisted. In the end, her pact with the dead won out. Honoring memory took shape as words on the tongue and poured like a flood breaking the dam.

“Foster sister. The youngest, but we were very close in age. Close as…” Alex clammed up over ‘twins’ and went with, “Close as could be. I was the de facto sounding board for all the curve balls life threw at her – boy trouble and boss griping included. Not to make it sound like a soul-sucking job. I loved supporting my sister. She just had more going on in her life than I did. She was the sibling everyone expected to get married and bear a ton of kids, while I turned into the perpetually single but chill aunt.” As it came out, Alex was hit with a Mack truck of irony. How wrong they had been.

Having squinted through all the human jargon, Astra picked up on the one thing Alex would have preferred her to overlook. “You speak of her in the past tense.”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. I really don’t want to talk about her.” She shook her head to escape the tightening of her throat and looked away. “I’m sorry. Can we change the subject?”

From the corner of her eye, Alex could see a lingering gaze gently poking the door slammed shut on ‘the sister.’ She could feel the pressing urge to ask further.

Astra obliged the need for distraction. She nudged her chin with a quizzical expression, asking, “Does that not bother you?”

“Misha?” Alex turned to the immobile rock that was Jeremiah. His hands were pillowed under his head as he lay on his side and breathed through parted lips. With a frown plastered to her face, she looked back at Astra. “Why would he bother me?”

“Most people would be bothered.”

“I can’t imagine you allowing _most people_ to sit on your child’s feet.”

“There is no conceivable profit to you in appeasing him.”

“Are you kidding? Watching him crawl at top speed after that hover train was the highlight of my day. He’s wonderful.”

“And now that he’s exhausted himself into a coma?”

Alex followed the amused gaze to Jeremiah. He’d crawled himself ragged following that train around the living room. Astra introduced the toy days ago and he still went after it like a kitten after catnip. The anti-gravity tech in the cars allowed the whole thing to suspend inches off the ground and propel it in a wide, circling path. He never got sick of the puffing sound effects and intermittent _vuhm-vuhms._ If anything inspired that boy to get on his feet and set him on his first steps, it would eventually be that hover train. For as entertaining as the chase had been, it zapped his energy. Whatever strength remained got him through lunch and left him zonked out beside Alex.

His gentle breaths verified how harmless a being he was in any universe. He was just a little boy who loved his mother and his bear and all the toys and snacks she brought to him. His nose – Alex’s nose – scrunched to a dream butterfly. She held herself back from drawing back the loose curl from his forehead and resigned to the warmth spreading in her chest.

At this point, she no longer feared reproach from Astra and was able to sigh in unrestrained fondness. It doubtlessly answered Astra’s question. “He could sleep through a windstorm, couldn’t he?” Alex asked, already knowing the answer from experience.

Astra broke out in the kind of smile reserved only for him. “Yes,” she murmured.

It still knocked Alex down to see how much Astra loved him. Marks of devotion played out in her pink cheeks and head tilting observation. It was shocking how every bit of the past displayed in the caring for him. Those qualities only revealed themselves in his presence or at the mention of him. She never looked so soft and brittle at any other time, in any other place.

If Alex didn’t know any better, she would have thought this woman had suffered through several hours of hard labor to bring him into the world. How else could she smile like Jeremiah was her gift, her every reason to go on? He proved that she had the ability to create something good as a person she thought undeserving of being.

If Alex disregarded the reality of time and space for a _second_ , she would realize that this woman was a vision. She looked unfathomably beautiful, framed by brunette waves and a white singularity. The focus honed by those eyes never wavered; it was astounding and heartbreaking and much more beautiful than Alex could scrounge the words to define. Their son brought that out of her. Jeremiah did. Alex wanted to crawl inside that shared heart to live and laugh together like they were supposed to. Doing so with this Astra had not been a part of the plan, but Alex couldn’t ignore the fact that she was there and loving her son as she should. Astra was alive. Jeremiah had survived. Why should Alex have reason to be sorry?

She didn’t get her answer until later that evening. Work took longer than usual due to a deadline they had to meet the next day. A touch base was scheduled with the team and Astra wanted to make sure she had all the necessary materials to contribute.

As they were putting the finishing touches on the report, Jeremiah was watching them from the corner of Astra’s sofa. He was in his pajamas but not in the least bit sleepy. Astra had chided him earlier for taking too long of a nap. Now he would never get to sleep. His response, of course, was to bat his eyes like he knew he was going to get his way.

So there he sat, bear in lap and content as could be. It had Alex wondering just how many times Jeremiah had pulled this trick before. He had Astra wrapped around his finger for sure.

Then Non came home. The relaxed atmosphere thickened considerably. When his eyes landed on Alex, an indefinite motivation stalled his remark. He didn’t like her being there, that much was evident. She saw his stiff posture. In any other case, she would have been satisfied that her presence threatened him.

Whatever pleasure she derived at the thought of pissing off Non withered when Jeremiah waved at him. Not an overt gesture, but enough to knock some sense into Alex. This was his and Astra’s family, not hers. To threaten Non would be to endanger Jeremiah. She would not be responsible for hurting her own son, no matter how much she wanted to wipe the scorn off of Non’s face. If she gave in to hostility then she would have something to be sorry for.

“I already ate supper.” Non had deposited his work bag in the foyer. He rounded the living room but made no move down the steps. “You?”

“I had a late lunch.” Astra’s eyes held the holotable a moment longer before twisting round to face him. “I’m just about to put Misha down.”

He didn’t even look at Jeremiah. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Non spared a glance at Alex and paused. His eyes shifted to Astra as if he was waiting for her to say or do something, but Astra simply returned to her work. Non sniffed and retreated down the hallway. The whole occurrence was peculiar and left Alex wondering just what he had been told about what was going on here.

Alex couldn’t fathom why a man like Non stayed in a marriage like theirs. His exchange with Astra had mechanical undertones. He showed very little regard for her beyond a professional respect and even less toward Jeremiah. What reason could he possibly have to endure the boy’s existence? Could Astra have that much influence over him? Was she encouraging him to stay? And if so, for what reason?

The fact that they were going through the motions did not please Alex in the slightest. She wanted Jeremiah to grow up in a home filled with love and laughter, not stagnancy and regret. Non must have had his regrets. He had entered into a marriage with the expectation that it would not bring about children.

The fact of the matter remained: if Astra had changed her mind about wanting a child, what kept Non from leaving? Alura had mentioned that Astra confided to Non about Jeremiah’s human heritage. Could the panic of being a single mother have encouraged her to seek Non’s help? Alex found it hard to believe that Astra would entertain such a fear, but hadn’t she herself suffered from those prickly doubts?

Upon leaving Earth, she was left believing that if she ever found Jeremiah, it would be up to her to care for him. The thought scared her stiff. Not having Astra pulling the slack, or Kara to babysit, or even her mother on hand for advice scattered Alex’s courage. Were she and Astra so different? Surely all mothers preferred the help in raising a life from birth to adulthood.

But Non?

Alex laid the mystery to rest for another time. Such considerations had no place at the moment. She looked up from the holotable and met Jeremiah’s ever watchful gaze. She smiled and he must have banished all previous reservations because he wasted no time in returning a smile, albeit a sleepy one.

“I think that will do,” Astra said. “Do you have anything else to add before I close the report?”

Alex shook her head. “If I think of something, I’ll bring it to the huddle tomorrow.”

“Very well.” She saved their report and powered down the holotable with a slide of her finger. To get Jeremiah’s attention, she squeezed his foot and ducked down with a questioning look. “Bedtime?”

He pouted and set her straight. “No!”

“Soon,” she conceded and turned to Alex. “I’m going to prepare his bed. Can you watch him for a moment?”

She nodded. “Of course.”

When Astra disappeared down the hall, Alex changed sofas if only to ensure Jeremiah didn’t take a tumble. With head lolling and eyelashes fluttering, he curled his arms around his bear with a sigh. He fought to stay awake and the efforts amused her.

She settled her head to the back of the sofa and smiled at him. “Don’t you look comfy in your jammies.”

His brows came together in iconic confusion. Kryptonians and their facial expressions. They tried so hard to understand human jargon that their grooves deepened to near permanency.

“Jammies,” she repeated.

She emphasized by tugging on the cuff of his bottoms. They were unbelievably soft to touch. He was the living embodiment of home and comfort. The solid green-gray matched his eyes and reminded her of Midvale’s waves during storm season. Astra kept his hair trimmed and just long enough for slight curls to frame his ears. After the lengthy nap he took that day, the waves had been matted down. With fondness, she wondered how his hair would fair to next morning’s bath.

He attempted to mimic her by saying, “Jam!”

“Not quite but close enough.”

Alex had only to move her fingertips an inch so they came in contact with his socked foot. The effect was instantaneous. His toes curled and he took his leg away with a breathy giggle. She tried again, this time giving away her intent with an ear-to-ear grin. The tickle had him recoiling both feet and sent him toppling back in a ball of laughter. He couldn’t contain his mirth. He would never go to bed now.

“Shh, not so loud,” she cautioned with an unstoppable grin.

Jeremiah, still on his back, peeked over the head of his bear and discharged more giggles. His toes curled and uncurled as if daring her to tickle him again and continue the fun.

Alex mock glared. “Hey, mister. You’ll get me in trouble with your mom.”

“Mama.”

His ability to latch onto a word and give it significance was touching. Alex only wished he knew her relation to that very same title. He might have known it once, when in the darkness of his crib he had reached out to her for relief. How many times had she repeated it? She had so hoped that his instincts would remember the two syllables in a time of need. The fact that a newborn didn’t yet possess the skills to articulate names hadn’t detered her. She needed the repetition if only to remind herself that she was ‘Mama’ now and nothing, not the cracking of the earth or the space between them would change that.

For a second, Alex wondered what was keeping Astra. It shouldn’t have taken very long to pull his blankets back and fluff his pillow. Before turning to check the corridor, she was drawn to Jeremiah’s rustling.

His giggles had died down and when he finally caught his breath he sat back up. The stuffed bear’s ear flattened under his chin as he hugged it from behind.

“You know,” she started, her attention shifting from his eyes to the bear’s worn back paw, “I had a bear just like this one when I was your age. Though he was far less shabby and old. You don’t seem to mind it though.”

When he caught on to who she was talking about, he clutched his bear tighter and stared up at her. His eyebrows rose up in faint recognition and before she could question it he uttered a shy “ _Rawr_.”

The sought after praise in his expectant silence melted Alex’s heart. He knew the sound bears make. It would be just like Astra to introduce Earth documentaries to her half-human son and start his education early.

The shuffling of feet sounded closer than anticipated. Alex nearly jumped.

“That was very menacing, my son.” Astra crept back into the room and picked him up from behind. “Now time for bed.”

Alex’s throat clamped down on ‘goodnight.’ Watching him go made her heart heavy. They’d gotten _so_ close and now he was slipping through her fingers. She wished she could have gone with them. She wanted nothing more than to cuddle beside her baby boy and nuzzle into his cheek.

But she cautioned herself against acting on the instinct. It would probably give her a dislocated shoulder. Anyone with eyes could see that Astra held on to the things she loved with a Kryptonian vice grip. Any threat to supplant her motherhood would be met with a blitzkrieg that put General Astra’s offensives to shame. And Alex wouldn’t blame her. For all she knew, Astra might suspect her as a spy of those religious factions and would dispatch with her pitiful life in an instant. How could anyone fault a mother for protecting her child? Even after three days working in close quarters, Astra didn’t seem completely sold on trust. How Alex truly arrived there, wormholes and all, would have been hard for any scientist to swallow. Astra’s suspicions might never wane and that pained Alex almost as much as it tore her to pieces to watch her son being carried off.

Alex was packing her things away when Astra resurfaced. She combed through her hair with both hands and stretched the skin of her temples back to keep awake. Weary strides moved her down into the living room. She folded her arms and Alex could feel those eyes watching her every move.

Alex bent down to retrieve a sheet of paper off the floor. Jeremiah’s antics in catching up to his hover train must have stirred them from her pile. The silence was growing awkward. Her voice stalled for words. What could she say? Jeremiah wasn’t around and they had finished their work for the day. What more did they have in common? Alex hoped someone would have the courage to say something sooner or later.

“Misha is different around you,” Astra said. She remained standing at the head of the divan, watching Alex fumble for the zipper on her bag. “I’m surprised.”

She didn’t trust the tone of Astra’s voice. It sounded too groomed to be surprised. Unwittingly, Alex had made her jealous and she wanted to see how that played out.

She tilted her head. “Different how?”

“He doesn’t normally take to strangers this fast. His behavior is most irregular.”

Alex shook her head. “I bet he’s just following your lead. You don’t seem to treat me like a total stranger and he’s caught on to that.” Looping her bag over her shoulder, she followed Astra into the foyer. “He looks to you when he’s unsure how to receive a new face. That’s why he clings to you. That, and he loves you more than that new hover train.”

Bemused, Astra cast her eyes down to the stone floor. “Sometimes I wonder.”

“He seems to have a good heart. That has to be the most rewarding part of being a parent – knowing who your kids are when everyone else just sees what’s on the surface. You have a place underneath all that material appreciation and fondness for strangers. It must be a great place.”

Astra didn’t doubt her intuition or inquire beyond a stranger’s gift of poignancy. “It is.” Her head rose and the smile, so beaming at its height, waned with the fading glimmer in her eyes. “Is everything alright? You look pale.”

Alex felt her cheeks blanch further. Her insides had the consistency of chopped chum as if they went through a blender – heart, lungs, intestines all rendering her incapable of bearing a life without Jeremiah. None of it felt alright. She couldn’t keep doing this. Talking about him like she hadn’t been there at his birth? Tickling his feet like they hadn’t kicked at her hands every time she struggled to get him into his onsie? The effort was rendering her numb to her fingertips and incapable of grasping onto anything or anyone. She was nothing but a shell shuddering at the seams that unfurled her dread.

No, she told herself. She would not have a panic attack in front of Astra. She couldn’t.

“Your heart is racing.” Astra stepped forward. “Should I call Alura?”

Alex checked her temperature with unsteady fingers. The skin of her forehead had bunched into deep furrows. Sweat collected on her fingertips. “Don’t bother. Please.” The strap of her bag cut painfully into her shoulder. It seemed to be the only thing grounding her at the moment. She managed a gulp of air before turning her back and choking out, “I… I’m fine.”

Alex heard an intake of breath and contributed it to the hiss of the door opening. Whatever Astra intended to say evaporated in the vacant space.

 

[1] Finnish word for “bear”

[2] Russian term of endearment meaning “little star”


	5. Compelling Entanglements

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first seven paragraphs deal with post-traumatic stress in regard to war. Nothing violently graphic, but I want to preface it with a note at the very least.

For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is to let it rain.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, “The Birds of Killingworth”

The laboratory droned with the activity of spinning centrifuges, clinking glass beakers, and chatter. From across the room, two team members were in deep conversation about the consistency of their experimental findings. Astra and Soren were interviewing a candidate for the next round of trials and, based on the paperwork being signed, they had negotiated a contract.

In the beginning, Alex was not completely sold on the nature surrounding their research. Research which had taken on the name Project Valor. The moral implications of rewiring brain areas, however infinitesimal, had been worrisome. Who were they to suggest that blocking trauma would resolve the issue? If the ends didn’t justify the means, she would not have accepted a job with the project.

But then Alex had talked with some of the soldiers who volunteered themselves for the trials and she came to understand. Many of these men and women had tried therapy for years. No matter how many outlandish methods attempted, they continued to be haunted by the ghost-like sound of bombshells and the visible as well as the internal scars. These were not traumas that could be talked away. There were repercussions that interfered in daily life.

Alex didn't realize the severity of the effects until she spoke with a mother of two. She and her husband worked full time jobs in the Warrior Guild and, despite her debilitating injuries, she felt it a dishonor to resign. Her nightmares kept her husband up and beckoned the worried faces of her children for countless nights. It was affecting her family and none of them had asked for this. If there was a way to overcome these nightmares, she'd offer herself to Astra and the others for Valor. No matter the risks (and there were risks), she would do anything to help them build a cure for people tormented as she was.

When asked why she did not fear the risks, her exact words to Alex were, “I’m better off dead than scaring my children in the middle of the night.” When cooking at the stove, she had to be careful that her hands not approach the burner. Contact with extreme temperatures caused her hands to tremble. It was nothing she could take medication for. She’d tried pills, physical therapy, religious treatments in the form of chants and beads. It was like having two hands that were not her own, shaking uncontrollably. She possessed no means of concealing this humiliation from family and friends.

This woman’s story and others moved Alex. These were desperate people seeking desperate solutions. When she thought of the research she and her colleagues were pouring so many hours into, she no longer considered what they were doing _tampering_. They were healing and never before had work provided a sense of altruism.

Frankly, she had as much of a personal stake in this as Astra. Alex had been a soldier herself. She knew the signs. She had experienced them and felt the same self-pity of having to hide them from Kara. And she was a mother who would not allow her son to know suffering, least of all hers.

That day, Alex hardly noticed the lab’s bustle. She’d grown used to the noises of her fellow colleagues and learned to retreat into her own bustling head. For the better part of her Friday, she had been staring down a microscope and monitoring the action at her holotable. Mapping an unhealthy human brain had been a piece of cake back in graduate school compared to the study of a healthy Kryptonian brain (and she wasn’t even working with the healthy ones). Alex still got turned around in the complexities of their nerves and cells.

Studying the holographic brain at her table, she took up her stylus and highlighted a section of the frontal lobe. When the tip touched the area, it turned a florescent orange and a notation box popped up. From her keyboard on the table, she typed in her note and saved it for later. If only she had this kind of technology on Earth. She wouldn’t have had to resort to killing trees and dirtying her hands with pencil lead.

<Have you finished the analysis on my B12 serum?>

Alex cocked up her head at the command. She knew who the voice belonged to before she even laid eyes on Lucya, resident chemist and stone-cold bitch. Unlike the others, Lucya persisted in speaking Kryptonese. Alex wasn’t even sure if she knew English and if she did, the gesture wouldn’t be wasted on her.

<Not yet> Alex answered, mentally scrambling to submerge herself in the language. <I work on this sequencing for Lev. He asks for results by end of day.>

Lucya’s gaze narrowed further. Her crossed, dark-skinned arms gave her the look of one of the elite Sapphire Guards of Kandor, not a scientist. <I want my results now. Lev is going to have to wait.>

Alex bit back a retort. Making a scene would not improve her odds of being respected there. Thankfully, Lucya didn’t wait for a reply. She turned and stalked off, a metaphorical trail of ice in her wake.

Just as her eyes were in mid-roll, a figure approached. It was Irina, the Kryptonian version of Susan Vasquez. They had clicked immediately, she and Alex, both being bioengineers and having an affinity for jogging. Just a few weeks ago they started meeting for morning runs. The Institute had a great trail that was easy on the soles and looped around the campus. Alex looked forward to these pre-work runs not only because they kept her in shape but because they provided a solid routine and social stimulation outside the usual places.

Irina’s sarcastic wit and competitive nature were enjoyable companions. Even if she had the annoying habit of non-confrontation in the lab and following Astra’s every order with a “yes, Astra,” or “absolutely, Astra,” it served as a fond reminder of an old friend.

Irina reached her table and looked over Alex’s ‘holobrain.’ “Need help?”

Alex noted the staunch glare from across the room. “So you overheard?”

“Small lab. Good ears.” Irina grinned. “I’ve been extracting axoplasm all day while listening to Axel clear his throat every two minutes. I could use a diversion.” She pointed to the collection of vials Lucya dropped off earlier. “May I?”

Alex sighed in relief. “That would be great. Thanks.”

“She’s the only one who hasn’t warmed up to you.”

Alex blinked in astonishment. Was Irina implying that the rest of them _had_ warmed up to her?

Her pregnant expression pressed Irina to continue. “Don’t mistake us for the simple-minded masses. Here science trumps tradition. We are fueled by progress, even if most of the population fails to recognize it. For us, it doesn’t matter where you come from or what language you speak. As long as you pull your weight and meet your obligations before Astra’s impatience blows a fist-sized hole in the wall.” Irina paused in her methodical grouping of vials. Approval dipped her head. “We’ve been watching your work. It’s brought a fresh new perspective, and the majority of us are in agreement with Astra that fresh is what this project needs. Rao knows Lucya’s attitude will not be enough to get our funding. The point is, you work as hard as the rest of us, and we appreciate it.”

A timid warmth colored Alex’s cheeks. “I don’t know what to say. I never expected to be treated like a Kryptonian. My accent is terrible and I can hardly pack in three helpings of _fazan_ stew.”

“But some part of you wants to be accepted as one of us. It’s alright. For whatever reason you left Earth, we’re glad to have you. Just know you’re amongst friends here.”

A swell of hope hitched Alex’s breath. Maybe making a life on Krypton wouldn’t be as difficult as expected. It helped to have the support of people who actually gave a damn. Since day one when she had been shackled and shoved into the back of a patrol vehicle, Alex would never have believed where her path had taken her. She now shared morning runs with a Kryptonian and received glowing feedback from actual colleagues. On a planet that claimed to begrudge her kind, she made friends and found family. Making a fresh start didn’t have to be difficult anymore.

“Thank you.” She couldn’t help the gratitude prickling her eyes. Sucking in a breath, she let it out in one long exhale. “That means more than I can say.”

Irina smiled and went back to helping Alex whittle down her task list.

Her pledge of loyalty and encouragement meant much more than Alex let on. That day marked her second month on Krypton. That meant fifty-eight days since she last saw Earth. Fifty-eight days since she hugged Astra to her body and felt her heart agonizing against her own.

But only three days since she last saw Jeremiah. She and Astra had fallen into a routine that had her stopping by the apartment once a week. Peculiar, because Astra didn’t seem like the kind of boss who required an assistant when working from home. Nevertheless, those were days to look forward to because it meant a mellow Astra and playtime with Jeremiah. Whether they worked at Astra’s home or in her lab with the others, Alex continued to assume the role of assistant with the promise of more responsibilities. Astra might not seem like she needed the extra hand, but if she did, she would rather most definitely jump out of a flying vehicle than ask for help. And Kryptonians didn’t fly on Krypton.

By the second month, though, fingers of doubt clenched round Alex’s promise. She was supposed to focus on raising her son. No other priority superseded him. And yet she sensed the growing fear that Jeremiah might not be enough to keep at bay all the people and things she left behind to die. She used to believe that a future with him would be sufficient. Starting over in a new home surrounded by familiar faces and the lack of others would overwhelm any displaced foreigner. She owed it to him to try.

But it was the fifty-eighth day and homesickness swept through her like sludge in her veins. A weight of lethargy slowed her down and suppressed her usual motivation. She cracked whenever someone suggested take out and succumbed to the stabbing pang at not being able to hail her dedicated delivery service. Without fail, it flew speeding bullet class from her favorite Chicago food truck to her door, still hot and suffused with the air of Michigan Avenue. Where the sight of a swaying ponytail nudged remembrance, now it tightened her throat. Tears sprung in Alex’s eyes when seeing Kara and knowing beyond a shred of doubt her height, the roundness of her cheeks, and the emergence of a subtle grace that would arise by her twenty-sixth birthday.

As touching as Irina’s kindness, it failed to brighten Alex’s spirits. She spent the rest of her afternoon lost in biology terms and racking her head over inconsistencies in neural pathways. Irina finished the analysis and called it a day. Lucya received her results with a distant grunt. Lev accepted his with a shy nod of thanks and bid Alex goodnight. Everyone had left for the day while she remained in the company of her holographic brain, utterly stumped.

“Staying late?”

The voice almost had Alex jumping out of her skin. Hand pressed to her rattled heart, she met Astra in reply. “I want to finish mapping these nerve fibers.”

The holographic representation of the subject’s brain hovered over the table. A maze work of nerves was lit up in various colors and had the look of an underground cave system with its branches and avenues. Astra gave a cursory study of the intricate highlighting before turning back to Alex.

“Lev mentioned your report to me this afternoon. He was impressed with the initiative you took in proposing alternative injection sites.” The file landed on the table and Astra wheeled a chair over. She sat down and pinned Alex with a conflicted gaze. “I looked it over. Although you may be onto something with that theory, the report itself is not up to your usual standard.”

Alex detected the query in there. Not that she was surprised. Complaints came more freely from Astra than compliments. There was always room for improvement in her lab.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a shake of her head and diverted her attention back to her open notes. “I’ve been distracted lately. I’ll do better next time.”

“Is it anything I should be concerned about?”

Professionally speaking, of course. It wasn’t like Astra cared on a personal level. Alex had drilled it into her mind so many times until any hope of friendship or beyond that had been numbed to near obscurity.

When Alex failed to answer, Astra laid her hand on the table and peered closer. Whatever she saw furrowed her brow. “Has someone been giving you trouble? Lucya, perhaps?”

“It’s not Lucya. I can handle her.”

“Do you have a problem with what we are doing here? Because you would not be the first assistant to question the moral boundaries of the project.”

“No… I feel privileged to be contributing to this project. It’s not work. It’s…” Alex wet her lips and turned to Astra with renewed confidence. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

Astra paused a moment before answering. “You may.”

“When Alura suggested the adoption, what made you agree? Knowing he’s half-human, was there –“

“Where did you get that idea?”

“You really didn’t expect me to figure it out? I’m human. I can sense it. Why else would you keep him as close as you do?” Astra was leaning back and Alex feared she would pull away completely. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry. It’s just… He’s the closest thing to human I know. Krypton has been my salvation in many ways and it has welcomed me in the most unexpected of ways. But… it's been two months.” Alex waited with baited breath, hoping Astra understood.

“Does anything surprise you? Kryptonian twins and now a half-human boy.”

Alex didn’t know how to answer. The pensive expression, though, led her to believe that Astra meant it rhetorically.

For a while, Astra was silent. Her hand slid off the table and intertwined with the other in her lap. “In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t like being told what to do. I’m not sure where that quality came from – the yearning to be different, perhaps – but it must have caught me at a young age. It is a common misconception that Kryptonians are bound on the path to which they are assigned before birth. We are all given the choice. It is hundreds of generations of tradition that encourages us to act according to a power outside ourselves.

“The Codex assigned me to the Warriors Guild. Alura and I were fourteen at the time our parents sat us down. She knew exactly what she wanted to do because the Codex told her so. She believes in procedure, which is what makes her so accomplished a magistrate. When pressured to make my decision, however, instead of following thousands of Ze ancestors, I applied to the Argo City Intellectual School. I had an affinity for puzzles, you see. Law enforcement did not appeal to me any more than leaving Krypton and imposing our wretched laws on other planets did. Science opened my world view in a way I never thought possible.”

“And you wanted to make your uncle proud,” Alex said.

“I wanted to prove things to him just as well as to myself. My parents… I love them and they love me, but since I strayed out of line I have never needed their approval. They were not pleased that I acted outside the norm. Twin daughters already attracted enough attention. Our uniqueness bothered Alura, tested her in ways she did not like. But I… I liked it too much: the pushback and the challenge. It made me stronger, more resilient to the declaim I was already receiving for being one half of a mistake. Their fear gave me power over them, and that is something Alura refuses to understand. I felt sorry for her. It wasn’t long after I joined the Intellectual School that I realized how my behavior affected her. Embracing my freedom was hurting Alura,” with a far-off gaze, Astra pinched the strand of hair coiled atop her breast, “so I did something about it.”

“You dyed your hair for Alura? But wouldn’t that have separated you more?”

“Alura did not want to be reminded of our uniqueness. Like the martyr she is, making others uncomfortable did not sit well with her.” Astra fingers left the strand of hair. “It is irreversible, in case you were wondering.”

An ache spread in Alex’s chest. She couldn’t reach it. It just existed, sympathizing and shaping her depths. “Does it still hurt? Knowing you gave up a piece of yourself for her - I can’t imagine a sacrifice like that fading from memory.”

“It does not fade,” Astra agreed. “Then again, she did make up for it many cycles later. While it does not banish the sting from our hidden singularities, it has soothed it somewhat.”

The warming reminder softened Alex’s voice. “She gave you Misha.”

Astra’s lips twitched in restraint. “Alura knew well enough how I would react. I was impossibly fervent. No thought or idea disturbed me quite like adopting a child. I didn’t realize until later why it bothered me so. I wanted him. I wanted him as passionately as I argued against it. Because he was everything I stood for: dissent, challenge, and change. Alura spoke to my defiance, appealing to my understanding of what it is like to be ostracized by one’s peers. Out of every soul on Krypton, I was best able to raise a child that would, essentially, be shunned throughout his life. And when she insisted I look at him…”

Astra’s gaze left Alex and turned as vague as ether. She was a million miles away. “The fragility of humans is astoundingly apparent in their offspring. Kara did not have their neediness, even in the earliest months. He was hopelessly sensitive and frail at first sight, but then his lungs argued the moment I held him too tight. He struggled as if he knew what I was thinking and he tried his damnedest to prove me wrong. Alura’s reasoning was accurate. If Krypton learned of his birthright, he would be alienated from society and would always have to live up to insurmountable expectations. He would be rigorously tested. Whether they found out or not, knowing is a burden in and of itself. Someone had to teach him to rise above the opinions of others and improve his self-worth.

“Against every trembling bone in my body, I accepted that responsibility. I wanted him before I ever chose to adopt him. The way he felt and smelled and sounded… it had nothing to do with his humanity or his Kryptonian blood. He gave me hope that I could provide something decent to someone outside myself. He was special and I did not want anyone to make him think differently. In the mere months he has been with me, he has delivered on all the things I saw in him that day. He has challenged me in ways I didn’t expect. His pain and joy and fear have turned me into a different person. I cannot fathom a world without him in it any more than I could stand the grayness of my world before he came along. Misha is… the sunlight in my life.” Astra broke out of her reverie and noticed Alex sitting across from her. She shook her head, blinking rapidly. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

Alex smiled softly. She turned away as the tears prickled in her eyes. “You call me brave, but you are the one who adopted that handful. He is very lucky to have you.”

The mortification of spilling truths previously unuttered turned Astra’s cheeks pink. She looked at her hands wringing below. “You asked a simple question and I’m afraid I’ve droned on. You must be horrified.”

Alex hoped her pause would attract attention. The seconds ticked by as tears abounded and her throat bobbed against the growing lump. Her pause failed to nudge Astra’s chin up. “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” Astra looked up. Suddenly, her embarrassment was replaced by shock.

Alex felt the damn break and saw the eyes clock its trail down her cheek. “I’m not horrified,” she insisted, voice cracking like an egg shell.

“You know things which will implicate you. I should not have said anything.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care if they implicate me. You have to believe that I wouldn’t endanger him or you.”

“How can I trust you?” The dangerous shadows seeping into Astra’s expression sharpened her cheekbones and darkened her intent. “You realize I would go to any lengths to ensure Misha’s secret.”

“I believe that, and I wouldn’t get in your way. I’m the last person you have to worry about protecting your son from because he’s my son, too.”

Astra blinked. “What?”

Alex swallowed, eyes wide and panicking at the words that came from her mouth. “I’m his mother and – You’re going to have to take this in stride because I’m not great at explaining general relativity.”

“I don’t know why I am…” Astra's gaze darted to her open hands and watched them clench. She rose without a word and rolled her chair back to its place. The muscles in her jaw ticked. “I opened myself up in…” she winced, “and in return you belittle my convictions.” 

At the turn of her back, Alex inhaled sharply. “Wait! Just wait. I’m from Earth, right?”

Astra whirled around. Her features sagged under the weight of what could possibly be disappointment. “You are human, yes. That has been established by your infuriating impropriety.”

“But I didn’t arrive here. I _crashed_ here in Lake… I forget which one, but it was just outside Argo City. The Earth you and everyone else sees from its outposts? That’s not my planet. Two months ago I left an Earth that was being destroyed by its sun.”

“If your Earth is destroyed then why is Krypton not aware of it?”

“Because I didn’t come from this universe. My pod must have been caught in a wormhole that transported me to a different plane. Probably the same wormhole that sent Jeremiah here a year ago.”

Astra frowned. “Jeremiah?”

“That’s what we called Misha. On Earth.”

“This is not making any sense. You expect me to believe that you, a human from an alternate universe, have come here to be reunited with my son?” Astra’s rounded eyes narrowed. She coughed out in appall. “If you think I would take you at your word, you have mistaken me for someone else. I am no fool.”

“I’m not his only blood relative. He has a cousin here on Krypton. And an aunt and uncle, too. I’ve met his Kryptonian parent and I know how loved he is.” Alex tilted her head, throat constricting. She couldn’t stop now. Against the surge of emotion tearing down her courage, she was desperate to get it out before her will collapsed entirely. “She says that he’s the light in her life.”

“No.”

Astra took a step back, her expression twitching between shock and self-disgust. If anyone could have sensed their true connection, it would have been a mother, one with instincts. Surely, she would have seen it. And yet shock overflowed and her heart revolted at the possibility that Jeremiah _was_ her blood kin and she hadn’t figured it out, she didn’t _know_.

“He’s your biological son, Astra.”

Everything in Astra’s frozen stature told Alex that the news wasn't taking. Astra couldn’t risk disappointment were a solitary hope to slip from her fingers. Staring through Alex, her lips parted and then closed. Her eyebrows sunk, cringing in disbelief. She could have been stumped or offended or unwilling to hear any more. Possibly all of the above. Yet the words to express so did not come.

Despite Astra’s refusal to keep up, Alex didn’t slow down. She couldn’t, otherwise guilt would force her to recognize the load she was placing on Astra. “You had another you outside this universe, an Astra with the same face and somewhat similar personality. Your paths may differ slightly, but you have her likeness. Astra and I, we had a history that was not exactly benevolent to start. Although it was complicated and unforgiveable at times, family has a way of healing old wounds. We…” Alex winced against the inescapable burn in her throat. It started in her chest, a simmering of longing that had gone unsated far too long. “We grew close and had a son, Jeremiah. He’s named after my father. Bad things were happening on Earth at the time. There was no future for him on a dying world, so we sent him away in the hope that someone would give him a good home.”

“If you were so close,” Astra spat, “then why is she not here? Where is this clone of mine?”

Alex knew it would come around to that. She prepared a mask similar to that of a general. “She died on Earth with everyone else. I left her behind so that I could find our baby. And then I ended up here. When I heard he was with you, someone with her face and her eyes and… The urge to tell you everything was so unbearable. I had to wait for the right time. I know this is hard to hear, but I swear to god it’s the truth.”

“I don’t believe you and I will listen no more to this nonsense.” Astra stood rooted to the floor.

“He has a birthmark under his right foot.”

Astra’s eyes widened. It took a split second for her to conceal the rest by pinning her lips shut. <How could you…> Addled, she shook her head. “How could you know that?”

“When I used to change him, right before putting his legs into his onesie I’d blow raspberries on his feet.” Alex explained to the frown, “Blowing raspberries is an expression we humans use for blowing air on skin; its supposed to tickle. Um, anyway… I’d tickle his feet and he’d go ecstatic, wiggling his arms and curling his toes to get away. He was… he was too young yet to giggle so he expressed himself with these little gasps. I… I miss them so much.” Alex covered her mouth, astonished by the wave of nostalgia coming over her. The tears were running over before she knew what was happening. “I miss everything about him. He’s my boy, Astra. You have to let me see him. He is all I have left. _Please_.”

Astra looked at her tears and trembling existence and reacted. “Misha is Kryptonian. He belongs with me. I am sorry for these delusions that have twisted your mind, but I will not allow you to steal him away.”

“No!” Alex reached out and froze immediately at the flare of reprisal glaring back. “No, that’s not what I want. I never intended to take him from you.”

The darkening look on Astra’s face told her that she was hearing none of it. “ _You_ ,” came seething from Astra’s lips as she strode slowly forward, “would break up a family and ruin my reputation, meddling like the subhuman you are. You have no family or friends, nothing to lose, so you risk my life and my son’s life instead.” Astra’s eyes seared a path of revolt over Alex from head to toe, concluding, “You are a lonely woman who would punish a little boy just to cure your grief. And to think you would succeed. An insignificant shell of hysteria against me? You might have lost your son, but that does not mean you can take mine.”

The edge of the counter met her back and Alex gave a jolt of surprise. She fumbled against the drawers behind her before forcing herself to remain still. It proved difficult when Astra was looming over her with the intent to kill inciting her every step. She wasn’t stopping and for the first time since arriving on Krypton, Alex feared for her life. Being thrown into the back of a vehicle by two strong men and driven to god knows where was nothing compared to being cornered by this vengeful animal. Alex recognized this woman and the thoughts racing through her mind. Astra was as steeped in a fear Alex knew so very well.

“You’re right.” She raised her hands in defense, palms out and pacifying Astra with gentle pats to the air. “What you say is true: I’m lonely and grieving. There is no question that you could kill me right now without blinking. Believe me, I am _very_ well aware of it. But if I am hysterical it is because I have spent the past two months dealing with the fact that my planet was destroyed. I lived and they died – all of them. Do you know what that…” Her shoulders jumped to the hiccup. They were all gone. A loathsome heat overcame her like Earth’s sun. It turned her lunch to molten acid as it churned and spit at the stomach lining. Every single one of them were vaporized within seconds. Alex swallowed the bile tickling the back of her throat and clenched her teeth hard enough for her jaw to ache. To abate the feeling, she hugged her elbows and shrunk to the insignificant shell of a woman Astra pegged her as. “Besides myself, the only other person who survived is a beautiful boy who I just want to know. I don’t want to take him from you, Astra.”

As the last words fell between them, Alex noticed the distance unclosed. Astra had paused and restrained herself from whatever brute force she had in mind. The unreadable expression written into her face seemed to keep Alex’s defenses up though. There was something terrifying about not being able to predict this woman.

When a dizzy spell hit her, Alex remembered to breathe. “I understand your resistance. Were I in your position, I would react the same way. It all sounds impossible, even for a scientist. But Alura will corroborate everything I’ve said here today. She has the blood test to prove his parentage.”

Something snapped in Astra. Her hand shot out and grabbed Alex by the scruff of her collar and jerked her close. “What does Alura have to do with this?”

Alex gulped against the knuckles poking her throat. She didn’t break eye contact. “I had no one else to trust. They arrested me on sight and were going to do god knows what to me, so I told her everything. That’s why she’s been helping me.”

Astra’s brows came together as she tried to understand what was being said. The pieces were starting to fall into place. She grew red with ire. “She knew this whole time?!”

The edge of the table bit into her spine. Bent awkwardly back, Alex grimaced and said, “That’s not what –“

The pressing body receded and cool air flushed in. She pitched forward, gasping and massaging the ache in her back. By the time she glanced up, Astra was gone.

Unsure whether or not to be relieved, Alex sighed. Her gaze dropped to the sparkle of broken glass on the floor. The beaker had been knocked over in Astra’s haste. Then, like a punch to the gut, it suddenly occurred to Alex who would reap the consequences of this.

Her body sagged and before she knew it she was collapsed on the floor, knees to her chest and head in her hands. What had she done?

* * *

The lift’s chime indicated that it had reached her floor and the doors parted. Feet as heavy as her heart, Alex stepped out of the empty lift and set off down the hall. She crept softly so as not to disturb the other tenants in this mammoth domicile. The hour did not approve of late comers and it would not do to bring more shame upon the Houses of El or Ze.

She’d given them time to work things out. The Institute always stayed open throughout the night for its workaholic professors and insomniac researchers. When Astra had left, Alex knew where she would be going and she didn’t want to intrude any further. So she stayed at the lab, surrounded by familiar tools and tempting theories in the hopes that distraction would faze concern.

Alex returned to a home permeated in eerie quiet. She looked around the foyer. Everything looked the same, not a frame or chair out of place. No broken glass or blood. These were good signs.

Until she arrived at the kitchen. The silence proved misleading. She was not alone.

Zor looked up from his pensive daze. He was the epitome of washed out and it startled Alex to see him not his usual self. He was leaning back against the kitchen island, arms crossed, and face drawn. His ghost-like pallor stood out against the natural stonework. He could have blended into the sterile gray walls were it not for the dark blue of his clothing. Nothing in his expression boded anger or even confusion. He had exhausted himself over an admission that stole his usual cheer and replaced it with shadows.

Kara was sitting at the dining table with a glass of water. She looked lost, unsure of what to feel or say. No one had taken the time to explain it to her and even if they had they probably didn’t know where to start. Yet something in the way she sat alone with her untouched glass led Alex to believe that she knew better than the rest of them.

Alex deposited her bag on the chair across from Kara. Bracing herself, she looked from Kara to her father. “Do you know?” The question felt pointless on her tongue.

Zor smiled tightly and nodded. Something in his eyes diverted her own. "Astra left not long ago.”

There came a squeaking of chair legs against hardwood. The braid Alex made that morning fell over Kara's shoulder, its bristling end brushing her white tunic. Kara bit her lip and approached with respectful caution. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist and pressed her cheek against the black polyester uniform.

On the outside, Alex hesitated with a few blinks. Surely, they had never done this before. She couldn’t remember a time that this Kara had opened up to her in a physical capacity. Although they had developed a close rapport of winks and nudges, there hadn’t been anything as profound as a hug between them.

If her skin was trembling in doubt, inside she was yielding like those cinnamon rolls Kara used to keep in the microwave for too long. It didn’t take much for her to cave under the blanket of sweetness and return the embrace. Alex’s chin dimpled as she pressed it atop Kara’s head.

It suddenly occurred to Alex how long she had gone without this. It was difficult to imagine what it would feel like to be without any sort of physical contact. The past two months she had been dying quietly in neglect and only now realizing it.

It seemed apropos that of all the people and places to bring her home to the familiar, it was Kara. Not Astra or Jeremiah, but her  _sister_. Because no thirteen-year-old girl with her eyes and sense of humor could make Alex feel like collapsing into a balling mess on the floor and then set her on her feet with a beaming smile. She didn’t care how young Kara was or that Rao did not bestow upon her the same gifts Earth’s sun afforded. If ever Alex had a soul mate, it was Kara Zor-El no matter the universe.

The arms locking round her tightened in response to her gasp. Alex’s ribs ached, but she accepted the Kryptonian strength for what it was worth and gave in to the consolation freely offered. Her eyes fell closed as she felt the burden pass between them. She never wanted them to find out like this, least of all Kara. Despite her otherworldly strength, there was a brittle heart underneath all that muscle.

With the fragile girl in her arms, Alex looked up at Zor. He was watching them with that same look that made her turn away before.

He shifted his weight, mouth working for words. "I'm sorry, Alexandra. I didn't know... I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Where is Alura?" she asked.

"On the balcony. She's been there since..." He sighed helplessly. "Well, she's been out there a while."

Alex nodded. Offering one more squeeze and a promise that it would not be the last, she let go of Kara and proceeded toward the wide sprawling windows. From behind the glass, Alex could see her sitting in one of the chairs with a pillow clutched to her chest.

Making as little noise as possible, Alex slipped out onto the balcony. It was a clear night, dark and mild. The glow from the terrace lights cast them in a bluish white glow. It had the look of Earth’s moonbeams and provoked an ache of nostalgia in her.

The click of the sliding door emphasized the inevitability. There was no backing out, so she fell in beside Alura. They sat on a lounge made for two. Alura had kicked off her heels; they were nowhere to be found. They remained still as the night. The drone of light traffic faded as the minutes went by and soon Alex’s attention was entirely focused on the matter at hand.

“I heard Astra stopped by.”

Alura sucked her bottom lip and nodded.

Alex guffawed to herself. “It’s stupid of me to start out like this.” Shaking her head, she could have slapped herself for how this was turning out. She might not be the best at consoling other people, but this was her mess for god’s sake. She threw up her hand and said, “I know she came here because I told her things earlier that were difficult to hear. I’m the reason why…” she glanced over at Alura, “…why it came to this.”

When Alura’s eyes met hers they were glistening. “Do not blame yourself,” she said, voice throaty with sadness. “The bitterness between Astra and I has been going on longer than you realize. There are some battles that cannot be spoken of and yet those are the ones that leave the deepest scars.”

“I made a promise that I would come to you first before telling her. I should have prepared you and now it’s… it’s not what I wanted to happen: the fighting, you acting like I have nothing to do with it…”

“If anyone is at fault, it is me. I should have told her Misha was hers. I should have said something the moment I saw them together.” She tilted her head at Alex in allowance. “This is not what I wanted either, yet these are the results of my actions. I will not have you take responsibility for my cowardice. I convinced myself that Astra would not believe me, that if she knew the truth it would conform her. I didn’t want to change her. I just wanted her to be happy.”

“But that’s not the only reason why you kept it from her.”

“I was protecting my reputation as much as hers, and now she will never let me forget.”

“Astra has full custody of Misha. We both know he makes her happy. She has what she wants, so why can’t she let this go? Why would she allow some lie to come between you two when she already loves him like a son? Telling her the truth from the beginning wouldn’t have changed anything. You’re wrong to think she would conform. Astra is as firm in her principles as you are. You can’t just watch her walk away without fixing this. You have to do something, Alura.”

Alura picked up the pillow and thumped it in her lap with a huff. It did not make the racket she would have liked, it being a pillow and all, and its meager sound just frustrated her more.

She released a sigh of exasperation. “Do what?” she asked testily. “She is not the forgiving type.”

“But maybe she can move past it. It’s worth a try. Or do you never want to see her again, is that it? You would throw away two hundred years of friendship because of a little self-doubt? You can’t keep Kara from her, she loves her aunt too much. Would you take her from her family just to soothe your ego? When I first arrived here, you accused me of wanting to break up a family, but that’s exactly what you’re going to do if you don’t make Astra see reason.”

Alex didn’t have to ask herself why it mattered so damn much to her. She recognized the fear of abandonment in Alura’s eyes and the anger in Astra’s. Although her and Kara’s relationship didn’t have the kind of silences that Alura and Astra’s entailed, they certainly teetered from numerous fights.

Alex was as bullheaded as Astra, and Kara had her mother’s apprehension. But Alex and Kara had always found ways to mend the misunderstandings and build stronger bridges. The concentrated vitriol between Alura and Astra had been simmering for some time with no reprieve. It was bound to reach a boiling point.

That’s why Alex worried. It was like watching a train wreck. She knew what would happen if she stood by like some passive observer on the platform. Her hands were already dirty. If she had to pick a fight with Alura to knock some sense into her then into the soot with them.

“You once said that Astra doesn’t put the effort into fighting unless she cares about the outcome. Petty issues are a waste of her time. Do you think she would have come here to question your loyalty if she didn’t care? She fights for the things she cares about. And she may have walked out on you, but that’s only because I dropped a nuclear bomb of a revelation on her. She just found out her son is a Ze and her sister kept it from her. It would be too much for anyone to take in.”

The words affected Alura in sagging shoulders. It was the first sign that Alex was getting through. But there was so much unseen resolve under those layers that resisted.

“You don’t know what it’s like,” Alura said with a hard look. “Kara had you. Astra never needed me for anything. I’m deadweight to her.”

“She said that?”

“She doesn’t have to. I know her –“

“Better than anyone. But the only reason you believe you’re not needed is because it absolves you of responsibility. If she doesn’t care, that leaves you feeling nothing.” Alex ducked to catch the luminous eyes. She took her hand to shock some feeling into her. It was cold and trembling, so she squeezed. “It has to hurt, Alura, or what’s the goddamned point?”

“This is not like our other disagreements. She’s never looked at me with such betrayal. The cruelty in her voice when she threatened to keep Misha from me, my own nephew…” Her breath hitched and she laid her hand over her breast as if to quell her racing heart. “It hurt so much to hear her say the things she said. It’s never been this bad. I’ve never… never felt this h-hopeless.”

Alex watched, paralyzed, as Alura came apart. Head plummeting to hand, she burst into a sob. They came like jolts racking through her shoulders and back. She looked like a world weary traveler who had seen her fair share of battles. A flood like this indicated how internalized the suffering had been. Hidden from a husband who loved her and a daughter too willing to take on the burden, she couldn’t take them down with her. She wouldn’t make Kara choose between her aunt and her own mother. All those years of polishing a perfect notion and keeping alive a relationship she assumed Astra didn’t want…  It all came down to surrender in fits of sobbing. The quickening dim of her spirit left Alex to wonder if she fought Astra at all that day.

Despite the toil on display, Alex faltered. Alura was extremely vulnerable at the moment and the last thing she probably wanted was a human to pat her back and tell her ‘everything’s going to be okay.’ With Kara, it was no question: back breaking embrace to start with a side of corny inside jokes and some double chocolate brownie ice cream to finish (and a lot of it).

While Krypton did not have the delicious comfort food that was Ben and Jerry’s and although she and Alura haven’t shared any private jokes, she was still good for something.

The lounge fit two people easily, but that’s not what provoked Alex’s apprehension. As she slid carefully over, she clocked the changes in Alura’s posture and prepared herself to recede if the contact was too much. Her hand settled gently to a shoulder.

“If you don’t want me here,” Alex said, ready to bolt, “I can leave.” After a minute passed, she ducked down to catch a face underneath the mess of curls. The crying had ebbed, leaving Alura a shuddering body of guilt. “Do you want to be alone?”

Alura croaked out a “No.”

Alex applied pressure to Alura’s shoulder and when no resistance came, she slid down the arm and pulled her in. She set her chin on Alura’s shoulder and sighed. A moment passed where a few stars managed to peek through the atmosphere. They made up a strange constellation of pinpricks and their stories were as unknown to Alex as the future they had in store for her. Perhaps Kara would teach her their names. If her alternate universe self was anything to go by, she was bound to have a head brimming over in myths about Rao fearing warriors.

During Alex’s peaceful study of the stars, Alura tilted her head until it lay against hers. Alex felt a surprising amount of tension leave at the exchange. Between the two of them, they could sigh out enough carbon dioxide to feed the entire Argo City Botanical Gardens.

The sky began to blur like water dripping down a copy of Starry Night. Alex kept steady so as not to disturb Alura’s head from her pillow. The tears ran from the corners of her eyes and saturated her pants. Heartbreak reared its ugly head and crushed her with its grief. 

"I'm never going to see my son again," Alex sucked in a quaking breath before finishing, “am I?”

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." At Alex's raised head, Alura went on. "Astra is very angry right now and that is a result of my betrayal. It is through no fault of your own. She cannot keep you from him. She will do what is best for Misha and that means accepting you into his life."

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because you are becoming impossible to cast off.” A chuckle rolled deep in her chest and she smiled. “I can’t seem to get rid of you.”

“Do you want to be rid of me?”

“Of course not. The point is that Astra will soon come to see all that you have to offer. If I’m correct, it is your refreshing audacity that has attracted her. She’ll realize what has been lost to her and that will encourage sense into that thick skull.” Alura’s mouth twitched at its corners as if conflicted between a frown and a smile. “It would bring me great sadness were she to take you off my hands.”

Alex almost sobbed in relief. Being the sole alien on an antipathetic planet, she expected to be glanced over, to be waived off as an embarrassment better off kept in containment or thrown with the shadows. She never expected anyone to _see_ her, a mere human amongst countless Kryptonians who were more superior to her in every way.

She sniffed and tilted her head. “Thank you, Alura.”

Alura looked at her for a moment before bringing her close. This time, Alex was the one being held, cheek atop Alura’s shoulder and a head laid to her own. “No, thank you, Alexandra.”

* * *

According to Qora, the Argo City Galleria was the hippest place for the “young 70-somethings.” Alex still stumbled over the fact that Kryptonian lifespans ranged far longer than the average human’s. By the time she got over it, she was being led through the first of many shops on the docket for the day which included an accessory boutique, a snack counter, an entertainment shop that sold movies and music, a few woman’s fashion stores, and at least three perfumeries.

Grin and bear it, Alex told herself. She knew Qora was doing this for her, but between the two of them, Alex was about ready to jump off a balcony. She hated malls. It didn’t matter in what universe. She hated them all. Give her a credit card and internet wi-fi and she was a happy girl. Because who in the galaxy didn’t like purchasing tactical knives in their pajamas?

Alex was leaning on the railing overlooking the Dandahu Sea. Although the outdoor galleria hosted numerous shops and restaurants, its most impressive feature was the view. The rippling surface stretched as far out into the pink horizon as her eyes could see. They were too far from the coast to see the beach, but Alex spied the telltale sound of lapping waves.

She didn’t know much about the body of water. With everything going on the past two months, there wasn’t much time to look around her and enjoy the scenery. Not much occupied her attention outside Jeremiah and the drama surrounding the Ze clan.

Being out and about with Qora, though, had a way of opening her perspective. This was one of those moments that had Alex stopping to smell the roses. And now that she was there, looking out at the glimmering green ocean and listening to its ripples and tides, she could now appreciate Krypton for its natural beauty. To think that in another universe, all this had been taken for granted. Who would ever dream of letting it go to waste?

Several feet below her, the sea crashed into the sturdy platform with such force that sent up a spray. The mist collected on her cheeks and the sleeves of her shirt. She was hardly deterred by a little water. Growing up in a beach town lent a bit of tolerance to the salt and sand and _constant_ sea spray. She was practically born from the water with the amount of summers spent surfing the glittering blue. Her parents couldn’t get her to leave.

But the water here on Krypton was different than what Alex was used to. The droplets gathering on her lips tasted bitter – a strange discovery that niggled at her inner ecologist. The longer she stayed out there, licking her lips with a furrow of her brow, the more she wanted to collect samples and study its mineral composition.

When Qora appeared, she came bearing yet another bag to add to the collection hanging on her arms. She looked like a coat rack of purchases. Alex had to stifle a laugh.

“Wow, that skin cream was a steal!”

Alex fought the urge to pinch her nose. Having been through two other perfume stores, Qora was saturated with the stuff. “You have a sixth sense when it comes to discounts, I’ll give you that.”

“Now that you mention it, I do feel a little tingle whenever I enter a store.”

“You’re impossible,” Alex mused with a shake of her head. “Have you gotten to all the things on your list?”

“Oh, Alex.” Qora waved her hand, mock dismissing her poor uninformed human friend. “None of these purchases were actually _on_ my list. Shopping is never as fun when you make a chore of it. Hey, do you want to check out the new bookshop over there? I can suggest a few titles that will help you brush up on your Kryptonese.”

Alex’s heart actually skipped at the idea. Thirteen shops and she hadn’t spotted a single bookseller. “Are you sure? I don’t want to keep you from your duties.”

Qora shrugged. “Alura understands.”

“That’s what concerns me. I don’t want people feeling sorry for me, like ‘oh, look, it’s the poor human who lost her planet.’ I just prefer people to treat me as normal. I just want…” Alex’s voice faded out. Although she’d confessed to Qora about losing her job at the Institute, she kept silent on her relation to Jeremiah. Qora may be family, but the line had to be drawn somewhere.

“I know,” Qora said. “At the risk of sounding patronizing, you have to give it time. Astra will make it look like she’s moved on, but you have no idea what she’s thinking.” Her eyes rolled up and over as a bit of sardonic wit rolled off her tongue. “I don’t think anyone does. Just wait it out. She’ll ask you to come back eventually and the moment will come when you least expect it.”

“I was nothing more than a research assistant. She’s not going to take me back when there are better candidates – _Kryptonian_ candidates – who actually have qualifications.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. Just because you’re new here doesn’t make you any less valuable. If Astra kept you on for as long as she did, she must have seen something worth tapping. Trust me, a month is long by her standards. I don’t think any of her assistants have lasted past a few weeks. And going by how popular her research is with folks, there’s probably not a very long line of people eager to replace you.”

Alex stuffed her hands in her pockets and stared down at her boots. “I actually liked the work. I may not have any formal experience in a laboratory, but being Astra’s research assistant taught me more than I ever expected.  What we – _they_ – are trying to accomplish is incredibly daring.” She ran the toe of her boot over a stone before nudging it aside. “I was proud to call myself a part of their team.”

Qora let her brood in silence. When the moment passed, she cocked her head and said, “Come on. Let’s go check out that bookstore.”

Alex quirked her mouth into a grin and followed after her.

A half hour later, she was sitting in an armchair in the fiction section. The alcove hid her from the main aisle and kept her from being seen or heard. Part of Alex didn’t want to be found. She liked the solitude, and the thought of existing outside the public eye relieved her. She might not scream “human” at first sight, but these aliens were keen on scrutinizing every stranger they came in contact with.

When Alex was about to turn the page of her new book, her device vibrated against her thigh. She pulled it from her pocket and read the holographic display making its revolutions.  

_“It is urgent that we speak. Come to the lab.”_

The message came from a number Alex had carved into memory. The likelihood that she would be in need of it lately was slim, but weeks ago, before things went to hell in a hand basket, having the number in her pocket served as an assurance. Now it was the closest connection – the _only_ connection – she had to her son.

Alex leapt from her armchair and went in search of Qora. When she found her sitting in the café nook, she took her by the hand and dragged her out of sight.

“Astra contacted me,” she discharged in a breathless rush.

“When?”

“Just a minute ago.”

Qora raised her brow. “By the way your hands are sweating, I assume it’s nothing you expected.”

Groaning internally, Alex flapped her traitorous hands before placing them on her hips. “She wants to talk.”

“See? What did I tell you? When you least expect it!”

“What do I do?”

“What do you do?” Qora echoed, jutting her head forward. “You go and find out what she wants to talk about. This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”

Alex shifted her weight. “Yeah.”

“I told you. Wow, I’m good. Maybe the Codex made a mistake. I should follow this intuition into another career.”

She chuckled. “Well, if you don’t cut this lunch break, Alura will make changing jobs easy for you. You should go on. I’ll catch a ride on the airbus.”

At the reminder of her present job, Qora cringed. It wouldn’t do to piss off her boss any more than it would to disappoint a cousin. She shouldered her bags and gave Alex a thousand watt smile. “Good luck! We’re rooting for you, Alex!”

Alex smiled, heart warming to the loyalty of a new friend.

The feeling didn’t last long before a heavy reminder sunk into mind. She had no idea what to expect. It seemed out of character for Astra to ask her back after only one week. The message clearly encouraged haste. What could she possibly have to discuss with her if not an offer of reinstatement?

The answer struck her upon entering the lab. The biometric scanner accepted her thumbprint with a _ding!_ Alex raised her brow. How was she still granted access when Astra dismissed her from employment? Skeptical, she passed through the doors.

A shock like ice water ran through her veins. The silence rendered her frozen. Unlike the usual atmosphere this time of day, there was no bustle of activity. The equipment was powered down, the lights were dimmed, and not a single noise livened up the space. There was no coughing from Axel or nervous mutterings from Lev. Soren wasn’t pacing the floor and neither Irina nor Lucya were trading glares from over their tables. None of those idiosyncrasies were occurring because the team wasn’t present. They were _gone_.

Alex scanned the lab until her eyes fell on the figure standing there waiting for her. It hit her like a bullet to a Kevlar reinforced vest and it packed a punch that had her reeling back. Astra was going to kill her. Why else would she send the team home? Sound proof walls, sharp objects, dangerous chemicals, no witnesses… Hallway pedestrians would be none the wiser because their basement hovel didn’t _get_ hallway pedestrians. It was the perfect murder.

And the motive? There was no doubt in Alex’s mind that Astra would get her hands bloody to protect her son. Despite Alex’s harmless intentions, she _was_ a threat to their family. Any hint of their relation to Jeremiah would set a media frenzy upon him. And that was only the beginning. She didn’t want to think what the councils would have to say about it. In the grand scheme of things, Astra was covering her bases by taking Alex out.

The depressing part of this was that the Council of Law and Kryptonian Behavior wouldn’t bat an eye. Astra would probably receive a medal for her initiative. Cleansing Krypton of undesirable visitors was what every law-abiding citizen dreamed about but few had the guts to admit out loud.

Now Alex was kicking herself for not arming herself. Knowing Astra and considering where they left things last time (being caught by the scruff of the collar and all) she should have come bearing some kind of protection. She had nothing, not even a switchblade tucked in her boot. Stupid, Alex. Stupid.

“Astra.” Her voice carried not the slightest tremble. Experience in high-stress situations like this vanquished the impulse. The only thing Alex hadn’t mastered control over was her heart rate. “You wanted to talk?”

Astra remained frighteningly obscure in her intentions. “Come further inside.”

Alex approached the table that Astra was standing at. The table that used to be hers. How apropos that Astra should murder her at the station where she had spilled her secrets.

Astra’s gaze tracked her movement. By the time Alex settled her hand atop the table’s surface, Astra was speaking. “I asked you to come so that we may discuss your future.”

“My future?”

“In the project,” she clarified. Her thumbs circled around each other before she locked her hands behind her back. “It was false logic that encouraged me to dismiss you from the Institute. I let my personal reservations interfere in our professional relationship. You are an asset to the team, and I would prefer my research to be treated in the most capable of hands.”

Alex couldn’t have been more surprised if Astra had lasered it in concrete and knocked her over the head with it. She deadpanned. “What?”

“You are an asset to the team and I would prefer –“

“I got that. You want me to come back?”

“It would benefit the team if you were to return to work.”

“Why?” Because Alex needed to hear it. She was so tired of assuming things about this Astra and then watching them shatter before her eyes like the fragments of a beaker scattering across the floor.

“Things are not…” Astra frowned for the appropriate words. Intense concentration carved so deep between her brows it incurred frustration. She huffed, arms loosening to throw them from her sides. “Well, why shouldn’t you come back? This is a fine research facility and I spent a lot of hard earned money and effort into building this lab into the superior hub of scientific progress that it is. My research is paramount to unlocking the mysteries of the Kryptonian brain. Who _wouldn’t_ want to be a part of history?”

The hell if Alex didn’t want to kiss that smug look off her face. Astra’s wildly selfish behavior made her strangely more attractive. The urge to induce a suffocating kiss came over Alex like a heat wave and gravitated to the center of her body. 

She squirmed in place and set her teeth. “Oh, I see. This is about you now, is it?”

Astra narrowed her eyes. “Do not play coy. We both know you need this job. There is nowhere else you belong than in a lab.”

She was certainly right about that. Not only could Alex find this level of acceptance and freedom to contribute nowhere else, but she felt at home there. The team, at least the majority of them, had accepted her into their ranks and welcomed her insights with eager devotion. Being a research assistant may not offer the healthcare benefits and vacation time that the DEO had offered, but she had clicked with her peers much better than she ever had with the whole of her fellow field agents.

“Okay,” Alex said, “maybe I’m being modest. I just don’t appreciate being jerked around. If the team requires my assistance then I will gladly offer it, but I won’t come back if you’re going to fire me again at the drop of a hat. I don’t care what personal issues you have with me. As your ‘asset’ I deserve the benefit of the doubt. I trust that you, as my superior, will exercise the respect of discussing the problem before locking me out of the lab without an explanation.” Alex titled her head in a reprimanding manner. “And a one line dispatch does not count as an explanation.”

The tirade appeared to have an effect. Astra’s eyes darted to the floor, the table, the instruments that had not been moved since last being used. She lay her hand on the table as if for support. “I owe you an apology,” she said quietly. Her head bowed, albeit with difficulty. “When Alura provided me the evidence verifying your story, I reacted. You are…” She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “You are Misha’s mother – other mother – and I should not have treated you in so callous a manner. Although, you really should understand my skepticism at the time and how it discouraged me from continuing any association with you.“ She recovered from the comment with a wince and compelled herself to stay on point. “In any case, I _am_ sorry.”

Alex blinked in shock. This Astra was apologizing. A trace of desperation laced her words and discomfort, too, at having to share the title of mother. Alex remembered what Alura said about Astra's loyalty to family and how she showed it in the most peculiar fashion.

In piecing out Astra’s objective, a litany of justifications came to mind. Only one stirred her emotions and it was the only reason Alex cared about. Did Astra miss her? It had only been a week. If Alex had made an impact on her, it could only be in a professional capacity, surely. And what of Jeremiah? Alex’s heart ached because as much as she felt her world tilting on its axis when Astra wasn’t in it, not having him around took the meaning out of life.

Resorting to a similar desperation, Alex came out with it. “How is he?” She locked her fingers together to keep her hands from gesticulating too much. “Is he sleeping well?”

“He has been sleeping soundly.” Astra affirmed with a nod and rushed through the next part. “He has been asking where you are. Which brings me to our second order of business. I wish to discuss a custody arrangement. Nothing formal, of course. An agreement between the two of us that has no interference from Alura.”

This was definitely unexpected, not that Alex didn’t welcome it. Once the shock had worn off she said, “That’s… great. What did you have in mind?”

Astra folded her arms. “You used to see him once a week. I will raise it to three visits – supervised.”

Alex almost sputtered. “No way. Three days a week isn’t good enough. He’s my child and I went through hell getting back to him. I won’t accept anything less than daily visitation rights. If you can’t give me that…” Alex floundered in search for something worthwhile to threaten Astra with. “… I’ll remove myself from the project.”

It had Astra choking in appall. “You are mocking me, surely. The project needs you. We are already short staffed as it is.”

Alex placed her hands on her hips. “The project needs me?” She failed to remember how long ago she actually worked in person with the team. All those days spent in the comfort of a living room, proofing equations and making strides at the speed of light. “Or you need me?”

Astra conceded with a click of her tongue. “I need you. We have already developed an effective rapport. You know my methods better than any of the other team members.”

“You don’t trust me.”

“Of course I don’t. Why should I?”

“I’m his mother! You have the blood test to prove it and, what’s more, you’ve seen what I’m like with him. I have his best interests at heart.”

“So do I.”

“Then why are you making this about us? Fighting is doing him no good.” Alex sighed with a shake of her head. “If anything, my being there every day for him should give you some peace of mind. We have Jeremiah and our work – two things that bring more joy to us than anything on this planet. We’re not unreasonable people, Astra. I think we can come to a consensus.”

Astra raised her hands to press against her temples. “ _Fine_ ,” she ground out. “Rao almighty. Do you not back down?”

Alex raised her brow. “Is that a yes to daily visits?”

An exasperated sigh left her. “Non leaves the apartment at seven. You may stop by after and have your time with Misha then. Mornings, overseen by myself, and then it’s to the lab with us. Is that satisfactory?”

“I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but yes that is satisfactory.”

“We will see how Misha adapts to this new schedule before revisiting the terms on supervision. Until then, when you two are together, you do not leave my sight.”

She dared to smirk. “You say that like we’re up to no good.”

“I found my stylus in one of the cars of his hover train,” Astra asserted with a cock of her head. “Misha was not predisposed to conspiracy before you came along.”

Alex wouldn’t let that last part get to her. “This is actually not surprising. He used to kick off his bootie socks all the time. Not on purpose, of course, but something told us he delighted in playing fetch. He was never more animated than when his moms were crawling on the floor.” She hugged her arms, smiling to the past.

“He likes to be waited on hand and foot,” Astra said. Her voice was soft and respectful of the memories wilting Alex’s features. “You realize I would not be saying these things if you were a stranger to Misha. The time you spent with him has made an impression and, as a result, your absence is confusing him.” Astra looked down for loss of words, face scrunching at the change affecting her life and that of her son’s. When she finally made peace with it, her head tilted back up and she locked onto Alex’s gaze. “What I’m trying to say is that I would not do this for anyone else.”

“I understand – you’re doing this for him.” Alex tilted her head and poured every ounce of gratitude into the words. “Thank you. As long as you allow me to have a place in his life, I will abide by your boundaries.”

Astra took it with a nod. “Because you live at my sister’s, these visits will take place in my house, not hers. I do not want her around my son after what she did.”

The condition put a deep frown on Alex. “Astra, that’s a bit harsh, don’t you think? She made a horrible judgment call, but you can’t expect to punish her for the rest of her life. Alura is –“

“Do not say her name. We do not talk about her. Ever. Do you understand me?”

The dangerous tone did not deter Alex and neither did the rigidness of her stance because it was all a front for the pain. The fear was a natural response, perhaps even a healthy one, and Alex respected that. Astra had a right to stew over the betrayal for it endangered a very long, close relationship that could not be severed easily. Alex would only interfere if it came to the kind of repercussions reaped long ago on another world. She wouldn’t stand by and watch them destroy each other. No matter the leverage held over her.

* * *

Although Alex would have preferred not to be on constant watch by the fiercely protective Kryptonian, the daily, supervised visits were an agreeable win-win. They both were able to be with Jeremiah who loved being with them in turn and that’s what mattered. This combined with their time at the lab inevitably pushed her and Astra even closer together. Of course, this didn’t occur to either of them. All they are thinking about was Jeremiah.

About a week into the new arrangement, Alex found herself yet again at Astra’s. She and Jeremiah were playing on the sofa while Astra worked opposite them. The set up was along the same lines as their arrangement before Alex’s misguided dismissal, which made the change less jarring on the fourteen-month-old boy and included a significant difference: Alex didn’t have to conceal her feelings for her son and that made her the happiest woman on Krypton, not to mention the happiest mother. Which reminded her…

Alex ducked down to draw Jeremiah’s attention away from their stuffed animal play. “Hey, cutie.” She clawed gently at his belly to coax a giggle from him. “I know you’re name, but do you know my name?”

“Laylee.”

Alex chuckled. With the number of instances Astra called her “Lady Danvers,” Jeremiah was bound to pick up on it.

Without much forethought, Alex turned and prompted, “Astra?”

“Hm?”

“What is the Kryptonian word for mother?”

Astra’s head didn’t move but her eyes darted between the cozy pair. Whatever she saw didn’t seem to bother her in any outward fashion. “ _Maht_ , though I could never get him to say it. I seem to be stuck with ‘Mama.’”

“Mama,” he echoed happily and waved a horn-headed omnivore above his head.

Astra grinned.

Turning to the boy, Alex asked, “How about it? Can you say ‘maht?’” She tapped a finger to her chest for emphasis.

“Laylee.”

“No, I’m Maht. You’re Misha…” her finger tickled his chest before redirecting to herself, “… and I’m Maht.”

“Laylee,” he upheld with a pronounced hop of his stuffed animal.

Alex pitched forward into her hand with enough dramatics to get Jeremiah laughing. The forlorn expression on her face, though, when she turned to Astra was genuine. “Gosh, I really hope that doesn’t stick.”

Astra ate it up with a smirk and a shrug. “You get what you get.”

“It sounds like ‘lady.’ I don’t want my kid calling me out like some bagger at Trader Joes.”

“I don’t know what that means, but when he says it, it sounds endearing.”

Alex stared, genuinely touched. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” Astra insisted and returned to her datapad in oddly swift fashion.

A flutter began in Alex’s chest. A familiar brush against her ribs that caused a tear to spring in her eye. Though subtle, it stirred up undying feelings that should not have agreed with this woman. Despite her resemblance and the momentary flutter, this was not her Astra.

Dusting off the loose sentiment like lint, Alex turned back to a more tangible activity. She tried to drill the correct title into the boy but he wouldn’t budge. After a few droning minutes of “Maht, Maht, Maht” she gave in to his ‘kick the kiri bird’ game on the condition that they would try again the next day.

Alex picked up the little stuffed bird animal and tossed it to Jeremiah. Tongue between his lips, he used his unicorn herbivore to bat the bird back. It didn’t matter that they weren’t allowed to use the entire living room to kick the bird back and forth (according to Astra’s house rules). He enjoyed having a playmate (one that didn’t incessantly comment on the sport’s intellectual handicap).

“When do you think we should break the news to Non?” Alex asked. The issue had been niggling at her since they came to a custody agreement. She really wanted to see the look on his face when he found out. Her eagerness surged to such heights, she was bursting at the seams. “Can I tell him?”

Astra gave an apathetic shrug. “What is the rush?”

Alex stared at her like she’d gone mad. “He’s going to find out eventually, Astra. I’m actually nervous about how he’ll respond. He seems the type to keep a lot bottled up. And when it all comes to a head, those types don’t have a tendency to release their emotions in a subtle manner. If you ask me, I’m a little concerned for Jeremiah.”

Whatever doubts multiplying in Alex’s gut didn’t seem to be shared by Astra. She cocked her head condescendingly and said, “Non may be apathetic, but he is not dangerous.”

“Wow, there are several ways I could respond to that.”

“Why do you consider him to be a danger? He has not threatened you in any way. There are far more questionable characters in the world you should spend time worrying about.” Astra eyed her severely. “Do not target my husband.”

Whoa, Alex thought. Maybe she touched a nerve? Picking one’s battles never applied more in a situation such as this. And she’d never felt more inquisitive over the connotations of Astra and Non’s marriage. The stringent argument hardened Astra’s features, making her look more wizened and faithful than Alex would care to admit.

Alex showed her palms in surrender. “It’s your house, I give you that. I’m just thinking of my son. You obviously know Non better than I do. I have my… objections, but I trust your judgment when it comes to Jeremiah.”

“As you should.”

Patient, Alex waited for the sensible to come about. She watched as Astra picked up her spare stylus (the original having been lost to Jeremiah’s playful scheming) and jotted down a few notes on her tablet. The seconds ticked by like minutes.

Alex’s grasp eventually slipped on fickle patience and she turned directly, elbows on her knees and hands gesturing pleadingly. “The longer we wait, the more volatile his reaction, Astra. I know this isn’t the greatest comparison, but just remember how you felt when you found out Alura had been hiding the situation with Jeremiah from you.”

Liking a cracking whip, Astra struck back. “It is _my_ responsibility to tell Non, and _I_ will decide when. Until such time passes, you will keep out of it.”

The tone had a ring of finality to it. That, paired with the steely look pinned Alex back into the sofa. She would let it go. For now.

After a long moment, Astra surprised her with a change of subject. “This… other me you were in contact with on Earth,” she said, looking up. “Was she your wife?”

The words took a while to register and when they did, Alex frowned. Same-sex marriage was not uncommon on Krypton. Frankly, it was more acceptable than not marrying at all. She wondered where this was going. It didn’t seem like the most opportune moment to ask considering Astra shut down the previous conversation. “No, she wasn’t.”

“If there was a child involved, why did you not marry?”

Alex blinked back in surprise because the idea struck her as incredibly novel. She and Astra hadn’t gotten far enough into their life together to consider their future. Most of their conversations revolved around Jeremiah and what they wanted for him, not themselves.

“We… there wasn’t time for that. We were barely together a year.”

Now it was Astra’s turn to admit shock. “A year?” She cocked her head back, a disturbed scowl on her face. “That is most irregular.”

She would have asked Astra if she’d ever been in love, but the befuddled crease between her brows was answer enough. “Maybe it is on Krypton. The standards on marriage and children are a bit looser where I came from.”

Inattentive to the admission, Astra was shaking her head with an air of self-doubt. She stared at Alex’s shoulder. “That does not sound like something I would do,” she mumbled more to herself than Alex.

Alex shrugged. “I suppose that’s one of the things that separate you from her. She would throw herself into situations and make it look so easy, so thoughtless. There were times I hardly knew she was second-guessing herself. And you, there’s so much premeditation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I just… I miss her spontaneity.” She smiled tightly and diverted her eyes. I miss her, Alex thought idly.

It was difficult to explain when the grieving process had yet to come full circle. How could she grieve when Astra was there every day, warming the air with her voice and presenting in flesh as solid as steel? Alex was not able to bury her dead or organize a memorial service. She wondered if any of them would ever be laid to rest in her heart.

But that wasn’t the only reason why talking about Astra proved challenging. Falling in love with a person had a way of bringing out the best and worst qualities in oneself. Alex wasn’t sure if she wanted to reveal such twisted conflicts. How was she supposed to explain physical passion to a woman who knew nothing of it? Astra’s suspicions could not be blamed. Very few Kryptonians married for love and even fewer had children before an ‘appropriate’ time had passed.

And Astra was married. To Non. Talk about complicated. Proving that her other self had shared a life and conceived a child with a human woman only took as much as a blood test. Convincing her of the breath catching passion she felt for her Astra would take more than a simple test. Feelings like that went beyond science. It would be a challenge to simplify it for one such as Astra; a challenge Alex wasn’t sure she had the fortitude to take on. Losing so much in so short a time had stretched her thin. What more did a mess like her have to offer?

“Is that really how they do things on Earth?” Astra asked. “Having children so young – and before courtship?”

The painstaking effort she spent in understanding the concept brought a smile to Alex. “There’s a lot you don’t know about Earth, Astra. Some things are best left a mystery, wouldn’t you say?”

Astra took it with a sardonic roll of the eyes and twist of her mouth. She cast her attention down to her tablet and muttered, “I do not care, anyway.”

And yet a flutter of inkling told Alex she did.


	6. Matters of Pursuit and Happiness

There was a lull in the laboratory that afternoon. Everyone was suffering from post-lunch lethargy, heads in their hands and staring at gray matter samples like they would provide grand insight. As they sat sipping from their stimulant of choice there wasn’t much pressure to stage productive airs. Astra was at her table, frightfully up to her neck in paperwork. No one envied her job despite the superior pay. They all wondered how someone as obdurate as Astra put up with managerial duties that had nothing to do with science. She cared as little for the politics and procedures of academia as the rest of her team.

Besides Astra, Alex and Lev seemed to be the only ones hard at work. Lev was their resident neurobiologist and probably knew more about Kryptonian brains than anyone on the planet (and he  _had_ more brains too). Astra had recruited him right out of school from a continent Alex forgot the name of. He had arrived in Argo City a few years before she crashed, but his outsider status displayed in his preference to keep to his corner most of the time. Although Lev had his eccentricities, Alex liked to think they understood each other well enough to be comrades in this strange city.

A full-sized Kryptonian brain awaited dissection on a silver tray. Lev relinquished it from the biology department with the intent to teach Alex the finer things about Kryptonian brain anatomy. Finer things, of course, going by complex names seemingly unpronounceable to the human tongue. But if she was going to learn, she’d rather do so from Lev. He wasn’t bothered by her inexperience and never once laughed at her clumsy Kryptonese (as Axel had a way of doing). His patience and gentle demeanor made her comfortable and if anything bred productivity it was comfort.

There was not an awkward bone in her body as Alex took up the cautery knife and approached the dull gray encephalon. Its tightly folded ridges glistened in preservation fluid. The scalpel was superheated to such an intensity that one slip would have it slicing like a sharp edge through butter.

Lev watched from a distance, arms folded and guiding her through the dissection. Appreciating the space he was giving her, she listened attentively to his instruction.

She took in a deep breath and aimed the blade’s point at the Kryptonian version of the cerebellum. Before the blade could sizzle the slick exterior, a racket sounded behind her.

“ _Jesus_.” She closed her eyes and released the breath she’d been holding in.

Axel burst in and announced, “You all might want to turn on the news.” While the rest of them didn’t make a move to do any such thing, he didn’t wait for them to get a clue.

He arrived at the main demonstration table and pulled up the newsfeed. Hovering in three dimension was Alex’s face, a candid which appeared to have been taken some time during her commute to work.

Alex didn’t even hear the sound of her knife clattering to the table. “Turn up the volume,” she ordered, approaching closer.

A voice echoed from the speakers. As the reporter went on, she began to grow more hollow and metallic in Alex’s ears. <… the human woman known as Alexandra Danvers who arrived in Argo City three mesiacs ago is believed to have engaged in lewd and lascivious behavior with a Kryptonian. While the identity of the Kryptonian remains unknown, there is conjecture that she is female. And that is not all. According to our source, their affair has produced a child. One does not need to explain the repercussions of such a travesty. The mixed blood child will undoubtedly attract attention. Select researchers from the Intellectual Guild have already expressed their interest in studying the subject. Religious groups are calling for the child’s banishment. Based on the protesters taking to Argo City, citizens are outraged and demanding justice be done unto the human. The Council of Law and Behavior was not available for comment. To discuss the details, I have with me Representative Fal-Nor from Kandor, co-founder of the Coalition of Moral Order. Fal-Nor, thank you for coming – >

“Turn it off.”

The command cut through the tension like a razor. As Axel shut down the newsfeed, every head turned to Astra.

Alex figured her own face carried the same pallor. She was too dazed to palm her cheek for verification. It felt like a chore just to remain standing. Who had betrayed her? As far as she knew, she leveled no offense on anyone – physical or otherwise. Who would endanger Jeremiah like this? He was just a little boy, harmless and as Kryptonian as any other.

The floor spun beneath her feet so suddenly she reached out for the edge of a table. After a few deep breaths, she scrounged the courage to meet Astra’s gaze. She was impossibly homed in, not a single twitch at shuffling feet or awkward throat clearing. She looked as sick with worry as Alex felt.

“Wait a minute,” Irina muttered. Of the team, she was the first to pick up on the tense vibe between Alex and Astra. She turned to Astra, features opening in surprise as it dawned on her. “That reporter isn’t talking about you, is she?”

“Astra?” Soren’s questioning tone carried every bit of concern the rest of them were applying to their expressions. “Are you the Kryptonian?”

Astra’s eyes didn’t tear away from Alex. She seemed to be weighing her options. Her mask of indifference divulged a ghostly white shade and told Alex she was considering every angle of benefit as well as hindrance. Analyzing till the nerve ticked at the corner of her forehead. Examining the matter as was her habit.

Alex didn’t want her to take responsibility. Frankly, Astra played no part in this baseless affair, so by all accounts she was innocent. Alex swallowed hard and gave a subtle shake of her head.

Astra met Soren, lifting her chin slightly and replied, “It would seem so.”

Alex closed her eyes.

Soren turned to his friend, voice strained and wounded. “You never told me Misha was half-human.”

Irina wondered out loud, “Do we even know if Misha is the one referenced by the news? There could be another child.”

A wave of claustrophobia came over Alex. These people whom she’d worked alongside for the past two months wanted answers. They were no doubt entertaining suspicions of the human that had been in their midst. Alex was frightened, guilty even of keeping this from them. They’d had their share of laughs as a team. A close knit group such as theirs needed to trust one another. They were all in this together, through success or failure.

Yet when they finally turned to her, Alex felt her throat tighten and her mind stalled for explanation.

Lev was the first to question her. “Is this true, Alexandra?”

Bound by indecision, Alex looked to Astra for help. Astra did not reveal anything but the freedom to choose how she wanted to proceed. It was enough. Alex breathed in and faced her friends and colleagues.

“Yes, it’s true. Although the source failed to disclose the context and several other significant details… it’s all true.”

“So…” Axel indicated between Alex and Astra with a finger, “you two had a kid together? Like… actually had a kid?”

Apprehensive, Astra glanced at Alex. “It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“No shit,” Irina remarked.

Axel shrugged. “We are all scientists here. I’m sure we could figure it out.”

“Ew, no.” She pushed his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Irina.” He rubbed his shoulder. “Rao, you’re strong.”

Lev hunched his shoulders and asked, “Is this really any of our business?”

Lucya gave him a withering look. <When a Kryptonian mates with a human, it is the business of Krypton.>

Alex may not have a firm grasp on the language, but she certainly understood the implication. It took every ounce of strength not to throw herself at Lucya. “How dare you,” she growled. “What Astra and I had was consensual. I loved her. You wouldn’t know the first thing about that, would you?”

Axel’s eyes widened. “Whoa.”

Everyone else took the tension more silently. Lev and Irina proceeded to stare up at the ceiling. Soren remained alert and prepared to break up a brawl. Astra was looking at the floor as if she was intruding on a private moment. And Lucya, strangely unreadable, refused to break eye contact with Alex. Whatever they gleaned from Alex’s use of the past tense, it seemed best not to elaborate. Talk of alternate universes would have to be reserved for a later time.

In hindsight, Alex would regret the words if only to lighten the impact they had. Astra knew she wasn’t speaking of her. In some way, Alex would begin to wonder if she ever felt stung by the admission, thinking herself unworthy of picking up where her Astra left off. She was already raising Jeremiah. The next step seemed like a hop, skip, and leap into love away.

Soren broke it up with a raise of his hands. “Alright. That’s enough. We are all entitled to our opinions. If anyone has any reason to believe this news will affect their work, please say so now. No one? Good. Now can we all get back to work?”

Before they could, though, a commotion came from outside. Everyone flocked to the windows and pressed their noses to the glass. Several stories below, the entire piazza swarmed with people. There could have been two hundred, maybe more.

Axel squinted. “Is that the entire Argo City news station?”

“And some not too happy faces,” Lev reported.

Before the plummeting stone reached the bottom of Alex’s stomach, she felt a presence behind her.

“We need to get you out of here.”

Alex turned around to see Astra looking past her. The shouts were rising in pitch and anger. Sooner or later, they’d use more than their voices. At twenty stories high and targeted by the sharp eyesight and strong arms of Kryptonian citizens, there was every bit of possibility of a window shattering.

“Lady Danvers,” Astra pressed, looking back at her and waiting for compliance.

“Unless you two know covert tactics,” Axel said from his window view, “I don’t think you’ll be able to get out of here without being noticed.”

“Axel’s right,” Soren said, face crinkled in concern. “You’ll both be on the news. And once the public has seen your faces they will never forget them.” He looked to Astra. “Even you will be implicated.”

“We don’t have a choice. Our son needs us.”

Alex turned in surprise. Did she just say _their_ son?

“Be that as it may,” Soren traded a glance between them, “when the Council of Law and Behavior gets wind of this, which I’m sure they have, they will be tracking your every move. Any disruptive behavior will be used against you. Astra, I know you can be short-tempered, and I’m well aware that Misha is at risk, but you _have_ to tread carefully.”

Alex grit her teeth. “She’s not the one they have to worry about. I swear to god if anyone lays a tool on my son for study, I will dissect their brain with my gun.”

“Boy, would I like tickets to that show,” Axe remarked with a nod of support.

Irina eyed him. “You are disturbed.”

Astra stretched her arm out to offer Alex the lead. “Let’s be off.”

Alex didn’t need to be told twice.

Just as they made to leave, Lucya blocked their path. A sudden chill crept up Alex’s spine. Out of all the possible suspects responsible for the leak, Lucya could have been at the top of the list. She’d never been a supporter of humans, spoke not a lick of English, and didn’t think twice about asserting herself between a mother and her child. Two very dangerous mothers, in fact.

“Lucya,” came the warning voice over Alex’s shoulder, “what are you doing?”

“Helping,” she said in a thick Kryptonese accent. From her pocket she procured a device and handed it over. It was her transport fob. “Take it. They won’t recognize you in tinted windows.”

Alex was too shocked to ask if she always knew how to speak English. “Thank you.”

Lucya nodded and let them pass.

They took a lift up to the topmost floor. The parking structure was comprised of several platforms stacked one atop the other by thick concrete pylons. The open-air top platform held Lucya’s transport. 

As they exited the lift, a dark sprawling sea moved out of the corner of their eyes.

“Shit,” muttered Alex. “How the hell did they get access into the building?”

<Look!> a voice shouted from the folds of the crowd. <There she is!>

Dozens of heads turned, their faces bleached orange in the glow of Rao. A flash of blue light came and a device emitted a _whir_. Alex shielded her eyes and before she knew it a series of flashes and _click-whirs_ followed. The throng of photographers and journalists charged.

Alex felt too lightheaded to run. Dazed, her head turned from the cameras to the stiffening woman at her side. A spike of guilt had her face falling. She’d implicated the only other person who could have protected her son. “Astra…”

“It’s too late. Go!”

Spurred by the pull on her arm, Alex spun on her heel and took off at a sprint.

When Lucya’s transport came into view, Astra unlocked it. Alex made a grievous mistake and let her curiosity get the best of her. As she ran the last few feet, she craned her neck to look over her shoulder.

<It’s the human!> cried a woman’s voice behind them. <Get her on holo!>

<Quick! Someone bring around a transport!>

Alex hands slapped against the durable exterior of Lucya’s transport and fumbled to open the passenger door. The panic of being in the spotlight left her heart beating out of her chest. What they might do to her later (politically as well as juridically) iced the blood in her veins.

Someone – definitely not from the press judging by his lack of recording device – elbowed his way forward and shouted at the top of his lungs, <Damn human scum! If no one has the courage to resolve this blasphemy then I will!>

The moment he lunged forward, blaster raised, her adrenaline kicked in. On instinct, Alex raised her fists. She would take a shot to the abdomen, but at least her knuckles would meet their target.

Something knocked into Alex’s back with a force that sent her sprawling into the passenger seat. In a span of a few seconds, several things occurred out of her view. The clicks and flashes from cameras were convulsive. The crowd gasped collectively at the shuffling of feet, a thump, and crackle of bones. They shrieked in alarm.

Alex turned just in time to see the man land flat on his back several feet in the distance. He groaned in pain. Her jaw dropped as she watched Astra sprint around to the driver’s side. “ _Astra!_ ”

Alex wasn’t sure what she meant by it. Her head was spinning and her stomach just dropped by the way Astra lifted their vehicle sky high. In hindsight, making a scene like that in front of a dozen rolling cameras didn’t seem like the smartest move.

The wind whistled outside their windows. Gleaming superstructures rushed past them in blurs of gold and red. Traffic appeared light that evening, but the telltale sound of revving engines disclosed their pursuers.

Alex stared, dumbfounded, at her driver. “Where did you learn to… deal with that guy back there?” she asked, voice peaked in admiration.

“Knowing my propensity for insurrection, you do not think I would have mastered the art of _kahzan-ji_?”

“What’s that?

“A form of self-defense.”

“But he was attacking me, not you. What you did was assault!”

Cynical knot in her brow, Astra retorted, “Your welcome.”

Without warning, a flash of silver streaked in front of them. Astra dove under the stalled vehicle, the momentum slamming them back in their seats. When they leveled out, she grabbed the thrusters and pulled back. Their vehicle shot off at an incredible (possibly illegal) speed.

Astra’s eyes left the interchange to judge the reflection in the rearview mirror. “Are they with the press?”

Alex checked over her shoulder. Where there were three tails before, only two remained. “I can’t tell. There are no markings on the vehicles.”

Astra responded by cutting the throttle, pitching them around a corner, and whooshing down a narrow gap between two skyscrapers.

“Jesus god!” shouted Alex. Her hand shot out to grab the frame of her door as she tried to brace herself through the violent turns and plunges. It felt like her brain was rattling around in her skull.

In a calm, even tone as if she were instructing Alex on how to handle the centrifuge, Astra said, “Please fasten your harness and keep your hands inside the transport.”

Alex did as instructed, making sure to tighten the shoulder straps on her harness. She bit the inside of her cheek and watched Astra’s practiced turns at the yoke. “Something tells me you’ve done this before. Being pursued, that is.”

Not breaking stride, Astra hummed an affirmative.

“From authorities?”

An honest-to-god grin spread across her lips. “Oh, once or twice in my youth.”

“I hope that’s not meant to assure me because you could do better.”

Astra’s amusement faded to a sedate expression. “Just sit back and I will get us to Misha in one piece.”

As they hurtled along the interchange, an obstruction appeared ahead. Traffic jam.

Astra adjusted her harness before getting a firm grip on the yolk. “Hang on.”

Alex’s back met the seat as Astra increased speed and steered them in direct path of the congestion. Hulking metal and flesh ahead and she was speeding up? Alex’s comment died in her throat. At the last second, before the front bumper met the first round of transports, their vehicle leapt up and flipped side over side. She gripped her seat in alarm. Driving with Astra was much more panic inducing than rocketing through Earth’s atmosphere in Kal-El’s pod.

When Astra ended the roll, Alex opened her eyes and realized they were speeding directly under the traffic jam. A cacophony of horns blared at the cheat that was Alex’s driver.

A screech of metal and pop of exhaust had Alex turning over her shoulder. A silver transport marked in green was hot on their trail.

“One left,” she said.

Astra responded by changing their heading. The nose tilted up slightly, raising them higher and higher. Alex didn’t know much about these transports but she had a feeling they didn’t take to high altitude.

Their pursuer didn’t seem deterred by the risks. They seemed as intent to kill themselves as Astra.

They were entering thick cloud cover, leaving the mass of public transportation and general living society. The sharp points of Argo City’s skyscrapers were unobservable from their soaring height. Without argument from its pilot, Lucya’s transport was rocketing them to Rao itself.

Alex shielded her eyes from the light bearing down. She fought to control the panic in her voice. “Can you go this high?”

“No, but we shall see who admits defeat soon enough.”

Alex gaped. “You’re playing chicken at 70,000 feet in the air? Are you insane?!”

“I do not think I have ever played ‘chicken,’ so you will forgive me if I don’t understand the reference.”

The transport sputtered, but Astra pushed it harder. Alex’s head was pressed back into her seat as they raced towards the blood orange sky at a near 90 degree angle. A film of frost crept over the windows and, most importantly, the windshield.

The interior lights flickered and the transport jerked violently to and fro, struggling to meet Astra’s demand. They were being jostled like popcorn kernels in a soda can.

“Shit, Astra!”

Astra glanced in her mirror. “He’s gone.”

She pushed the throttle forward to slow their speed and leveled out the transport. Suddenly, the instruments went dark. The heat cut out and so did the drone of power beneath their seats.

Alex saw her breath fog and felt impenetrable dread seep into her bones. “Oh my god.”

“ _Rao_.”

“You don’t get to do that.” Alex glowered at Astra. “You’re the goddamn pilot. You don’t get to panic.”

The nose of the car tilted forward. Slowly, but surely, gravity was taking over. Without power they had no means of slowing their descent. Krypton was not done with them yet.

Alex stared at the carpet of clouds filling their windshield and gasped.

The transport took a dive straight down and they were shoved back into their seats. The g-forces picked up, making Alex’s vision blur. From the corner of her eye, she made out the quick movement of hands. Astra was wrenching open compartments by the edge of her nails and looking for something Alex hoped to be a _deus ex machina_ fail-safe.

Thanks to superior physiology, Astra didn’t appear to be hindered by the pressure. Alex didn’t have the heart to call her last hope a bitch. “Fix it! Do something!”

“If you would stop screaming at me –“

Astra wasn’t able to finish. A spark ignited amongst the instruments and emitted a small puff. The navi-com emit its blue light across the windshield and the transport hummed back to life. A flicker, a crackle of static, then a scroll of Kryptonese words.

“Please tell me that doesn’t say what I think it says.”

“Autopilot,” Astra translated for her.

“Why did you put it on autopilot?!”

Astra’s head twisted round and she growled, “ _I_ didn’t do it!”

Although they had power back, the vehicle continued on its present course. Straight down.

“Why isn’t it pulling up?”

“The high altitude must have frozen its circuits. It’ll take a moment to warm up before it registers our course and redirects.”

There was very little confidence in Astra’s voice. “What if it doesn’t heat up in time?”

Astra gripped her arm rests and leaned back in her seat, allowing the g-forces to do their work. The lack of a response was response enough.

They continued to plummet. When the tips of the spires appeared below them, Alex knew they only had a dozen or so meters until the transport became impaled or crashed through layers of concrete, glass, and metal.

In a moment of pure fear and desperation, Alex bridged the center console and seized Astra’s hand. Mere seconds later she felt the hand turn over and grasp in kind. It was a Kryptonian grip, one which could quite possibly crush all her precious little bones, but, if given the choice, Alex would rather lose a hand than her life. After all the battles she had fought, the near death experiences, and irreparable wounds sustained, it could not end like this. Not when she had so much to accomplish. If she missed her chance to deliver Astra’s message to their son, it would not only be her Astra she failed but Jeremiah too. Both his mothers would plunge in flames over Argo City. And he never even knew her name or how much she loved him.

Alex’s eyes were squeezed shut when the alarm sounded. The serene female voice of the navi-com alerted them of incoming traffic and Alex couldn’t think of a better comeback than “no shit.” Before she could brace herself, she felt the tug. The harness cut into her shoulders and waist, knocking the wind out of her. She couldn’t breathe for five seconds – five seconds that felt like five minutes – and nearly panicked. That’s when everything shut down. Blackness cascaded in and swallowed her whole.

* * *

Alex jerked awake to the sun on her face. It only took a few seconds to remember that the tinted windows of Lucya’s transport allowed light in but none out. To the pedestrians and drivers in the residential area she might as well not exist behind the veil.

A sudden awareness halted her thought process. Residential area? She leaned towards the windshield to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating. Or dead.

“We made it.”

The voice startled Alex. She turned to Astra who had her hands calmly on the controls. Upon squeezing her eyes shut and then opening them, her vision cleared to notice the whites of the knuckles standing out and a subtle tremble running up the arms.

Alex touched the center console. “Are you –“

“No one followed us. We are minutes away.”

The clipped tone had Alex leaned back into her seat. She turned away to look out the window and scrubbed a hand over her face. It felt numb from the tension her panic had fed on.

Upon landing, the platform slid them under a roofed parking structure. They were doused in darkness and the echo of distant footsteps. When it turned silent, they exited the transport on shaky legs.

Alex gripped the hood, taking a moment to allow the vertigo to pass. She fought the taste of bile at the back of her throat and glared. “I’m never driving with you ever again.”

Astra had the sense not to argue.

When they entered Astra’s apartment, Qora met them at the entrance. Her face was beset with worry.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been watching the newsfeed. It’s awful!”

Astra’s curls bobbed behind her as she raced past Qora without a word.

“What is…”

“She’s alright,” Alex answered. “Did anyone come to the door? Or call?”

Qora swallowed and shook her head.

“Okay,” she sighed, closing her eyes in relief. When she opened them, Qora was still looking to her for instruction. “It’s going to be fine. Thank you for watching Jeremiah. Astra and I will take it from here.”

As soon as Qora left, Alex made sure to lock the door and triple check its sturdiness with a few shoulder shoves. She proceeded into the apartment in a guarded manner. Her eyes darted to every corner and dark space – the alcove where fresh flowers started to wilt at their tips, the mirror which reflected a haggard, hardened stranger, the creaks in the hardwood floor, and a faint echo of voices. The door may be secure and the windows dimmed, but Alex was not about to take any chances.

She followed soft murmurs into the living room. Jeremiah’s back was to her as Astra held him tightly. A blend of English and Kryptonese whispered from her lips as she pressed them into his hair. If Alex’s eyes weren’t deceiving her, Astra’s hands appeared to be shaking. They fumbled through the soft material of Jeremiah’s shirt, checking for injuries she knew were not present.

“Is he…?”

Astra assured her with a nod before returning every thought and devotion to the boy in her arms.

Satisfied that Jeremiah was in good hands, Alex swept down the corridor to check the other rooms. She would have preferred to perform the search with a weapon on hand, but there was no time to find one. The last thing they needed was for some prowler to pounce on Jeremiah. He shouldn’t have to be afraid in his own home. Alex would make sure of it, unarmed if need be.

The rooms were unattended. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. In the past, when she went into the field, she’d occasionally get a tingle of awareness when something wasn’t right. That sixth sense, as it were, helped her and other agents out of some nasty scrapes. At the moment, Alex detected no ill vibes, so she returned to the living room.

They were exactly as she left them. The sight of mother and child proved striking. For all her might, Astra relied on a toddler to abate her worry. The show of vulnerability was far from pathetic in Alex’s eyes. The willingness to trust the boy and seek out his delicate strength touched Alex to the bottom of her heart.

“The place is clear,” Alex reported. Instead of going to them, she placed her hands on her hips and sought relief in her own way. “Non is nowhere to be found. Isn’t that convenient?”

Astra looked up. “He didn’t do this.”

“You sound confident.”

“Because I am. He would not jeopardize his reputation. He has built it from the ground up and he would not risk it just to punish me. A scandal of this magnitude is what breaks up marriages and ruins careers.”

Alex didn’t expect to back down so quickly. Her shoulders fell and she took in the homey atmosphere. Not her home, she reminded herself. “I’m sorry, Astra. I never wanted this to happen.”

Astra breathed out and clawed a spare hand through her hair. “We’re beyond that now. The news is out and someone is responsible. Someone who has enough to lose and is using this information to benefit from a deal.”

Alex frowned. “It sounds like you have someone in mind.”

“Yes,” Astra set her teeth, “and I am going to confront her before this goes any further.”

“Wait.” She cast a look at Jeremiah who was playing with the zipper on Astra’s uniform. She dropped her voice and stepped closer. “You don’t mean… your sister?”

“Do not look at me like that. You know as well as I do what secrets she is capable of withholding. If anyone is at risk of exposure, it is her. She would sell me out to save her precious repute.”

Alex knew, in a way, it wasn’t her business. The history between sisters should stay between sisters. But this matter affected more than two very scarred people. “Do you have so little faith in people? For god’s sake, Astra. I’ve been with her for three months and she’s never given me the impression that you and Jeremiah mean nothing to her. She’d surrender her name before putting you in danger.”

“You have not known her as long as I have. The most manipulative people can seem docile as cattle. That’s how they trick you.” She shook her head, signaling an end to the discussion. “We are wasting time. I must go. Do I have to ask –“

“No, you don’t have to.” Alex surged forward.

The moment Astra placed him with her, a wave of relief washed over her. All her functions – heart, lungs, brain, spirit – returned to normal. The puffs of his breath on her cheek, his warm hands under her chin, and his smell that made her dizzy with joy… Jeremiah infused such peace in Alex. Cradling the back of his head, she kissed his temple. It felt so good to hold her baby after the stress of what happened that day. To be with her son, her home, and his lively heart brought indescribable relief.

“I will return before nightfall. If Non should come back first, tell him that I said you could stay. He will not get in your way.”

Alex nodded and watched her take off. The haste she witnessed indicated how much Astra believed in Alura’s guilt. A deep-set anger roiled beneath her surface that neither Alex nor Jeremiah could quell. Deep down, Alex knew Alura was innocent. They may have only known each other a short while, but she had a sense of people and Alura stood by her when no one would.

The stinging tug on her roots drew her attention back down. Jeremiah had his fingers in her hair and was grabbing a tuft at her nape. Bewilderment pulled his features down at how different it was to his other mother’s thick mane.

His pouty mouth was inches from her face and she couldn’t help a chuckle. Watching the features play across his face when in concentration ranked as one of her favorite activities. He was such an expressive boy, even if he hid it from strangers most of the time.

Alex hiked him higher on her hip and held him impossibly tighter. “Someone’s getting a lot of attention today.”

Jeremiah leaned back to get a read on her. “Stay?”

“Yes, I’m staying.”

He gave a half smile before flinging his arms around her neck.

Alex kept him close for a while. Her body as well as her mind needed to be assured of his safety. Verifying his solid existence, no wounds, a brilliant smile on his face… those were things she needed. Jeremiah, though, required no such assurances. Even with Astra out of the house, he seemed wonderfully at ease in another woman’s care. And not just any woman.

This was the first time she had him to herself and she would not take it for granted. She did what felt natural and what any mother would do in this situation. She gave him a snack and rubbed his back and made frivolous chit chat. They played games away from the windows and out of sight from any binoculars powerful enough to penetrate its tinted coating.

When Jeremiah was adequately spent, she put him down for a nap. His breathes evened out soon enough for Alex to watch him from the opposite sofa and do some light investigating. The coffee table served as the apartment’s main computer and it was calling to her field-trained senses. She nibbled at her lip in consideration. Hacking into Astra’s home computer didn’t seem like the brightest idea, but considering the stakes…

Alex woke the table with a swipe of her finger. Several files floated up. The hologram awaited her preference. She used her finger to tap into the first one. It magnified into several other folders and she sifted through each one with a scrutinizing eye. Most of the content was related to Astra’s research. One of the folders opened into a series of video files, one of which displayed Jeremiah’s cheek-puffing smile on its cover. She bit her cheek and made a mental note to check it out later before swiping past them.

When every file had been examined, Alex sat back with a sigh. On the one hand, it relieved her to find nothing incriminating. On the other hand, she was no closer to finding the source of the leak. But perhaps she hadn’t tried everything at her disposal.

A few minutes ago Alex thought checking another person’s e-mail was beneath her. Now she was desperate. Upon opening the application, she found two messages from colleagues, a slew of pending social invitations from the Institute, and an order receipt from an off-world toy company. She brought up the sent folder and scrolled through. Halfway down, something caught her eye. A recent message had been sent three days ago, but it was encrypted. It struck Alex as strange that a home computer with modest security should be the place for such secrecy. Neither Astra nor Non seemed naïve enough.

The encryption proved no hindrance. With a few tricks she learned from Winn and using her recent familiarity with Kryptonian tech, she was able to retrieve the message. It popped up and hovered before her. She didn’t waste any time. Her eyes roved line by line, not skipping a single word. What she found within astonished her to heart stopping dread.

* * *

Alex hailed what passed for a cab in Argo and raced to Alura’s. As she scrutinized every passing vehicle from the backseat, Jeremiah sat on her lap. Considering what transpired in the past few hours, the list of people she trusted with her son was dwindling by the minute.

Her driver glanced in his rearview mirror. She eyed him and hugged Jeremiah closer to her chest. She kept him close because something in his hushed manner told her he was aware of what was going on. He could probably _feel_ her heart pounding.

When they arrived at Alura’s, she used her handprint to unlock the door. There were no signs of loiterers or neighbors on their way down the corridor, but she double-checked anyway before slipping inside. Silence. No one to greet them. Jeremiah must have recognized the foyer because he saw fit to lay his head back down as if he knew this was a safe place. She kissed the crown of his head. Her smart boy.

Alex carried him down the winding hallway until one of the branches opened up to a brightly lit living room. There in the center of the room, Kara and Astra were embracing.

A halo of amity bound them together in the snug hug. Alex’s heart doubled in size to see Astra with a young Kara. Their relationship on the other Krypton had been cloaked in ambiguity due to the tight lid kept on the past. Alex always respected their privacy just as they supplied her the broad strokes no one else had been granted.

As affectionate as their bubble, they were overshadowed by vulnerability. Kara’s arms tightened around her aunt in desperation, hands clasped at the small of her back with a ferocity that couldn’t be broken. Fearful not for herself, though, for Astra seemed carried by the arms of her niece.

Alex looked around. Since arriving, she noticed that the apartment was accompanied by a disturbing silence. “Where is Alura?”

“Not here,” Astra ground out. Suddenly realizing who asked, she rose up to reveal anger so fraught with lines and yawning eyes it could have passed for dread. “What are you doing? I told you to stay put.”

“I don’t take orders from you. I came because I know how the information leaked.”

The hand on Kara’s shoulder tightened reflexively. “You could have been arrested or attacked. And Misha –“ 

“Astra, did you not hear me? I know the identity of the source!”

Her raised voice brought a whimper from Jeremiah. He squirmed, tossing his head back to reach the sound of his mother. “Mama…” 

Astra practically threw herself forward. Alex handed him off and, for once, her heart didn’t break over it. She watched the two of them – Astra bobbing him gently in her arms and Jeremiah, face in her neck and straining his arms to reach around her shoulders. Despite the touch of relief in Astra’s sigh, she was not deterred from the matter at hand.

She pinned Alex with her stare and commanded in a decibel below her ‘Jeremiah voice,’ “Show me.”

Alex held up a small device. “Is there a place I can plug this into?”

“Over here,” Kara called, guiding them to the kitchen. She took the drive from Alex and inserted it into a slot.

From the holographic menu hovering above the kitchen island, Alex pulled up the coded message. “I found this in the sent folder of your email.”

Astra scowled. “You were snooping on my computer?”

“It was sent three days ago. Read the message.”

Her curiosity got the best of her. Astra read through, line by line. The closer she got to the end, the nearer she drew Jeremiah who was beginning to doze off obliviously.

Alex looked on him with a stab of guilt. In her haste earlier, she had woken him from his nap. He had made his disapproval known by reaching out at the first sight of ‘Mama.’ Alex would just have to get used to his hot and cold attitude. All children gravitated back and forth toward whoever gave them the most sweets or let them stay up late or watched as much television as anyone else. Like parents disciplining according to the good mom/bad mom routine.

“Obviously, you didn’t write it,” Alex said.

Astra shot her a withering look. “Obviously.”

“It was sent to a journalist at the _Argo City Times_. The message accompanies stolen, confidential records of my arrest and subsequent release.” Alex brought up another image. “Attached to the message was another file: the results of Jeremiah’s blood test confirming his human and Kryptonian origins. Also…” Alex swallowed, scratching the back of her neck over this difficult turn, “… the journalist was sent falsified photographic evidence accompanying a footnote. It claims that I’ve been in contact with a married woman. It doesn’t include the context details, but people will assume anything as we’ve seen from the news report.”

Alex clocked the changes occurring on Astra’s face. Besides the pursing of her lips, she didn’t seem all that surprised. Most of the shock had come earlier at the lab.

“They have everything,” Alex said. “Except your name, and the photographs don’t even show your face. Although, I’m sure that stunt you pulled earlier will implicate you anyway.”

Kara detected the soreness of the subject and asked, “What stunt?”

“No stunt,” Astra cut in quickly.

“Right.” Alex rolled her eyes. “Anyway, the press has evidence. Considering what this is going to do to your career and your marriage, I think it’s best we both keep a low profile.”

Astra ground her teeth. “Non sent it.”

“No,” Alex said. “Qora did.”

“What?”

Kara matched Astra’s perplexed response. Her brows clashed together. “ _Cousin_ Qora?”

“Yeah, I know. I was just as surprised as you guys. Honestly, when I think about it, she is at the center of everything. She has access to Astra and I. She babysits Jeremiah. She not only works at Law and Behavior but she’s Alura’s assistant. If anyone is in a position to handle evidence of the kind sent to that journalist it is Qora.”

“But what is her motive?” Astra questioned. “What would she have to gain? She is susceptible to discredit through familial connection.”

“Not if she’s unsympathetic to the human plight. I don’t understand her motives, but the source of the message is clear. I traced it to Qora’s device, the very same she used to transfer the documents and photographs to your computer. She thought she was covering her tracks, diverting suspicion, but she didn’t expect me to hack into your own email.”

Astra raised her brow. “I suppose I should be thanking you for that.”

“I’ll take a rain check.” Alex sobered quickly. “What do we do?”

“ _We_ do nothing.” Astra punctuated the remark by passing Jeremiah into the waiting arms of Kara. When she turned, her face was unrecognizable in its malevolence. “ _I_ am going to find Qora.”

Alex stepped out of the way before she was steamrolled. “Oh, you’re going to _find_ _her?_ Nothing in your body language right now leads me to believe you mean to exchange words no less.”

An unintelligible muttering came from Astra.

Kara must have picked up on the curse because she gave a sharp gasp.

“Astra!” Alex stomped out of the living room and followed her down the corridor. “Will you stop?! We need to discuss this before you do something –“

“Do _not_ call me reckless. I was not the one who left the apartment in broad daylight.”

Alex flung out her hand. “It’s barely sunny.”

Astra was too livid to hear sense. She stalked toward the foyer and nearly punched a hole in the door release. The mechanism gave a drooping trill. The doors parted only halfway. Astra gave a cry of outrage and slammed the flat of her palm against it. The durable material caved to the force, denting it beyond repair.

Swift steps approached from behind. Alex could feel Kara’s warm presence as well as the tug of a forgiving hand on her sleeve. Jeremiah gave a meek whine to get her attention.

An overwhelming sense of helplessness wilted Alex and she let it. “I can’t do this by myself, Astra. I need your help.” The tugs on her sleeve grew more insistent. He could have been asking for her or prompting her to bring Astra back – she didn’t know. All she knew was this boy meant more to her than overcoming the sting of being second best. “Your son needs you here.”

Astra turned around. Alex followed her gaze to Jeremiah who looked too frightened to shed a tear. He was being so strong for her. With the combined gifts from both Ze and Danvers, he applied the strength to hide the kind of tribulations that would have struck worry into Astra.

It was enough to quell the tide of anger. Slowly but surely, the creases smoothed and Astra’s normal color returned. Being confronted with Jeremiah’s clear and present needs infused a bit of sense into her eyes, sense like the light he brought into her life.

Astra came back to herself and traded a remorseful look with Alex. “You are right,” she said. “Thank you.”

“Aunt Astra?” Kara’s voice carried a slight tremble. She adjusted her grip around her cousin and held fast to his sudden movement. “The news has been talking about these factions. They’re very angry at Alex and not for any reason at all.”

Astra’s gaze never broke from Kara’s. Confident in her strides, she moved forward and took her by the shoulders. “Kara, dear, those people wanted to do harm before she ever arrived. Their anger is coming from a place of fear. They do not want visitors, least of all one who has the power to do what we cannot.”

“We can’t have natural births,” Kara mumbled in recollection. She looked between Astra and Alex in alarm. “What if people want to take Alex away?”

Astra’s gaze fell to the side, at Alex’s feet, before turning to Jeremiah, softening, and then returning to Kara. She squeezed her gently and said, “Nothing of the sort will happen. Do you believe me?”

Kara nodded.

Astra turned to Alex next. “Do you trust me?”

The wings fluttered against Alex’s ribcage. “Yes.”

“Then come with me.”

* * *

Shade Canyon received its name for its canyons. They plunged so deep that even the sun could not reach its bottom. Halfway down, the light desperately scattered wherever it could before being swallowed by the cold inhospitable environment of shadow. Not much lived at those depths but nocturnal creatures blessed with sophisticated vision.

That was below. Above lay dry, deserted land that stretched on for miles. Its barren surface attracted the brunt of light, scorching it to near suffocation. It was hot and it received little rainfall. Prickly bushes and woody trees served as vegetation while reptiles, giant arachnids, and furry rodents scavenged what they could from this dusty biome.

It was hardly the ideal place for sustainable living but it did beckon hunters. Many predators stalked these canyons. There was a well-known chain of order in Shade Canyon: from flora to rodents to scavengers on up through the chain of predators like the triple-horned bison, the kimiso dragon, and the wild cat.

Despite their efforts, native Kryptonians hadn’t been able to earn top rank. Wild cats had reigned Shade Canyon for centuries and they would continue to do so. They were so high in number that nearby Argo City sanctioned their hunting to control their population and keep them from encroaching on city limits. The infamous wild cats were difficult to track, which explained Shade Canyon’s limited visitors.

Astra steered their transport through a maze work of gorges. They were just below sea level as she turned them down one of a dozen rifts and navigated around sharp crags that could rip a gaping hole in their vehicle if snagged. Hot rays streamed between craggy edges of the surface, creating a strobing effect that had Alex blinking erratically. She reached for a knob at the center console and darkened the windshield a bit.

“How do you know where you’re going?” she asked. Her eyes were going cross-eyed from the number of turns they’d taken.

“My Uncle Misha used to take Alura and I hunting in this range,” Astra said. Her hands clenched the yolk as she pulled up to crest the dead end. Their cockpit filled with sunlight and they were now skimming above the surface. Even after the course correction, her grip persisted; no doubt a consequence of mentioning a woman she swore never to bring into conversation. “She would have rather stayed home, of course, but I always found ways of convincing her.”

Alex thought of all the times Kara begged her to go flying. And to the most obscure travel destinations like the Nazca Lines of Peru. A smirk surfaced to her lips. “Blackmail?”

“What else?”

She chuckled, heart warming to how similar Astra was to her Earth-niece.

Astra landed the transport at the base of a mount. The craggy monstrosity cast a deep shadow over them and the cabin situated a few feet away. They exited the vehicle, Alex picking Jeremiah up out of his car seat and Astra hauling the luggage.

“What are these?” Alex pointed to the standing pylons circling the cabin. They carried a greenish-blue hue and seemed to be giving off a deep hum. “Are these things active?”

A high-pitched tone came from the panel Astra was working at. “In a moment they won’t be. The fence is to stave off predators.” She punched a code into the touchscreen and after a few seconds it flashed green. The pylons ceased to hum. “When activated, it can kill anything that passes through. These pylons emit a high frequency no Kryptonian or human can hear, but it is enough to shock the brain of any living thing on Krypton. Beyond repair, I might add, so do not go touching the field when it is active.”

Paired with that cheerful backstory, the nearest tall pylon overshadowed them like a monstrosity. All that power… Despite its disabled state, Alex eyed it dubiously. “Who builds something like this?”

“That would be me.” Astra held Alex’s gaze a moment longer before proceeding ahead. A vexed sigh echoed on the wind.

“I guess it makes sense,” Alex mumbled, following after, “you being a neuroscientist and all.”

Jeremiah identified the ranch-style cabin with a point of his finger and said, “House.”

“Yes,” Alex said and addressed Astra next, “but whose house?”

“Mine.”

Astra let them inside and closed the door shut. Before Alex’s eyes could adjust to her surroundings, Astra parted the curtains for light to spill in. She raised her brows at the unexpected sight. It had the look and feel of an Earth cottage with its wood construction, simple design, and bare essentials. The living room consisted of an enormous rug, a few pieces of furniture and a circular, concrete hearth. Alex’s gaze followed a stairway up to the loft bedroom that overlooked the first floor.

It reminded Alex of a place she and some college friends took over for a weekend. Four guys and five girls stuffed into a two-bedroom cabin made for an interesting getaway. She highly doubted this place was stocked with a similar quantity of alcohol or had seen as much rowdiness.

Alex’s boots scuffed the hardwood floor as she turned in place, catching every warm detail and making note of the dust she’d have to wipe clean later. The place carried a stale smell as if it hadn’t been lived in for a while, but it was nothing a few open windows couldn’t fix.

“To be honest,” Astra deposited the luggage at the base of the stairs and turned around, “I am not the sole owner. My uncle willed it to Alura and I. During hunting trips, we’d spend our nights here. Wild cats are too dangerous to hunt in darkness.”

“So you and Alura share it?”

“Yes, but neither of our families stay here. I installed the enclosure should something like this occur.”

“When you say ‘something like this’ you mean…”

“Yes,” Astra interjected, unable to speak of it. “As you witnessed on the way here, one would have to cross difficult terrain to reach this place. It is remote enough to be hidden from sight. Hunters do not usually wander this far into the valley, but if they should, the security outside will keep them out. The season is approaching its end, so I do not expect much activity.”

Astra went to the kitchen to open drawers and cabinets. “Should you run out of the food I brought, there are non-perishables in these cupboards. And it looks like the appliances are in working order.”

“It’s a nice place,” Alex said, admiring the preparedness on display. The cabin contained everything a fugitive like her needed to survive in a remote part of a valley no one seemed to visit anymore. “For a doomsday shelter.”

The off-beat compliment had Astra cocking her head. “Is that Earth humor?”

“More like gallows humor,” Alex muttered. Her inspection came around to fall on Astra’s enduring puzzlement. “I don’t mean to offend you. It’s just difficult to find the joy in things when there is an entire city out for my blood.”

“I do not expect you to rejoice at this arrangement. I do, however, want you to feel a sense of security. My son can sense when I am distressed. No level of disguise can hide it. With the two of you as close as you are…” Astra’s expression became embattled as she fought to hold eye contact. “He will sense you as well and any discomfort you are experiencing.”

Not needing the reminder, Alex absently rubbed Jeremiah’s back. “Duly noted.”

“You realize I would not be going to these lengths if he wasn’t in danger. I cannot be at his side and stop this at the same time. He cannot be involved in a media frenzy – or a legal one, if it comes to that.”

Alex’s eyes shot up to the rafters. “Yeah, I know the dangers.”

“Do you?”

“Astra, seriously. You need to stop feeling me out.” A profound flush engulfed Astra’s face. Alex realized how that sounded and blushed just as hotly. “No! I don’t mean it like that. Jesus. No. I meant that you need to stop suspecting my intentions. I’m always thinking of Jeremiah’s safety. There’s no other priority in my life. The only person you’re trying to reassure here is yourself. You may not realize it, but this isn’t the first time I’ve been on the run from authorities. I know the drill.”

Astra folded her arms. “Yes, because leaving my only child in the hands of an ex-fugitive is reassurance enough.”

Alex let out rush of exasperation. She couldn’t hold Jeremiah when the urge to strangle Astra was so tempting, so she deposited him on the sofa and tucked his bear in next to him. “First of all, can you do me a favor and stop assuming the worst of me? You don’t know the situation I was pressed into. Second, that happened a long time ago on another planet. I’m a different person now with new priorities. I have a –“ Glancing down to make sure Jeremiah was wrapped up in a babbling conversation with his bear, she lowered her voice and continued. “I have a son who is in danger of being held captive by mad scientists and, what’s worse, there are people who want him deported from Krypton. My life means nothing if he is not in it. There are no lengths I wouldn’t travel to keep him safe. Does that clarify my loyalties enough for you?”

Astra’s mouth pursed as if she were about to argue. A moment passed before she spoke. “I will be away from my son for the first time since the adoption. Perhaps longer than I can bear. Forgive me if I seem on guard.”

Her voice was more submissive than expected. It almost approached the wobbly quality of … sadness. A stab of guilt forced Alex’s head down. She bit into her cheek at the memory of how agonizing it had been for her to be on Earth without him. All those isolated, turbulent weeks bereft of his cries, the squeezes of his fingers, and his entire being had been enough to drive her to the brink of madness. Enough to push away the only other person who could have understood what she was going through at the time.

“Okay.” Alex’s throat tightened unexpectedly. In the few strides it took to walk the length of the cabin and arrive in the kitchen, she managed to get out the rest. “I’ll give you a moment.”

Arms crossed, she leaned against the stove in wait. A flavor of bitterness settled on her tongue. She hated fighting with Astra, especially where it concerned Jeremiah. It benefited him to be a united front. They just needed the time to build a foundation of trust, and before that they needed to recognize each other's histories and struggles, the people and events that made them who they were today. Only then could they begin to understand the risks being taken to protect this gift they’d been given. Time, unfortunately, was the last thing they had.

“Misha…” Astra kneeled down before the sofa. Jeremiah was busy clapping the bear’s paws together, so she rubbed along his arm to capture his attention. “I am going away and you shall not see me for a while. But it’s only for a few days.”

Jeremiah’s face went through a transformation from suspicion to confusion to outright disapproval. “No go away.” His eyebrows puckered and he squeezed his bear tighter as if it kept his mother from leaving. “No go, Mama.”

Astra forced her watering eyes down to the bear’s worn nose. Sniffing, she tapped it with her finger and bore a tight grin. “I know you wake up with your yogurt treat, so I made sure you’ll have it here everyday. You keep Karhu company. He needs your courage now.”

He shut her out with a pout and wrenched his stuffed animal from her affections.

“ _Malen’kiy zvezda_ ,” she implored.

Astra stroked his hair behind his ears, _tsking_ at its surly length. Jeremiah evaded the treatment with a whining tilt of his head. Even a child as young as him was showing signs of the suffering all children experience at the fussing hands of their parents.

She leaned in close and murmured a few words of Kryptonese. Words of love and home and stars. Her voice was soft but heavy as cloud cover on a rainy day. She punctuated her words with gentle brushes of her thumbs.

“Be good for Laylee.”

 She stroked his cheeks one last time before placing a kiss on his forehead.

Lumbering in place, Alex watched their goodbye unfold while scrounging the strength to remain standing. Sorrow filled her heart and doubled its weight. She felt its agonizing pulls, unable to console or promise it relief. She couldn’t because she had no idea if the outrage would subside or when Astra would be back. Although this plan may have put her and Jeremiah in the clear, it now shifted the danger to Astra.

“Do you have your comlink?”

Her sudden reappearance startled Alex. She blinked, mouth parting. “Um, yeah. I have it.”

“Good. Do not use it unless in emergency. And should anyone find this place before I get back, call me immediately. Do not open the door for anyone, not even Alura.”

Wincing inwardly, Alex stuffed her opinions and said, “Understood.”

“It gets cold at night. Use the throws in the chest upstairs. I packed his blankie, although it is mostly for security than warmth.”

Alex nodded to the instructions and swallowed with difficulty. Try as she did to overcome them, her reservations got the best of her. “I don’t doubt your devotion to Jeremiah, but how can I be sure that you’ll come back for me? You don’t seem thrilled at the idea of keeping a human pet.” She finished with a hollow chuckle, only half kidding.

“Against my will…” the corner of Astra’s mouth crinkled up in a secretive half-grin, “I am becoming acquainted with your ways.”

“Right.” Alex chuckled because now Astra was kidding. “We can only dread that.”

Wordlessly and quite blindly, she took Alex’s hand and lifted it in a manner of Austenian chivalry that always ended in a kiss. But no kiss came to the back of her hand. No pressure accompanied the gesture; it was unassuming. Without breaking eye contact, Alex felt the presence of a thumb between the ridges of her knuckles and press gently to the soft valley of skin. It felt as promising as a breeze filling a sail. Astra stared back in aching certainty. Alex could have been floating clean off the floor and not have the will to tear her eyes away.

“Stay safe, Alexandra.”

The warmth receded and her hand descended. Without thinking, Alex started after. She got three steps before Astra stopped her with a furrow of her brow.

A rattling weight tugged in her chest. As her breathing picked up, she sensed a cold sweat permeating her forehead. Once that door closed it would not open, not until Astra came back. No sense of when or how or under what circumstances could have relieved her panic.

Alex stole herself and picked up her chin in a nod.

Astra must have understood or she wouldn’t have smiled as she did.

* * *

The media must have been preoccupied with more important matters than investigating the ‘affair’ because Astra’s home remained isolated from solicitors and the flashes of cameras. Like vultures, they were on the lookout for the prime meat of the story and not the child or the other woman. It went to show just where their priorities lied. Krypton would condemn a human before finding fault in their own ranks.

Disillusioned, Alura cursed her fellow Kryptonians and the false peril pushing them to such lengths. The past few hours left a bad taste in her mouth and a chill up her spine. The halls had been a hot bed of chatter all day. The deposition she had been overseeing was cut short due to the newsbreak. All proceedings stalled for people to flock to their offices and watch the turmoil unfolding. Alura herself had witnessed the footage of her sister’s misconduct against an enraged citizen and already forebode a lawsuit.

As much as she feared for Astra’s wellbeing, she feared for her own as well. Many at work knew Alura had taken in the human woman and yet none questioned her. The fact that she received no summons was suspect. The councilmen will eventually want a detailed account and an explanation as to why one of their own judges withheld evidence from the council. Misha was the boy she had been tasked to find answers from. He was not supposed to be found; they gave strict orders to hide him by any means necessary. A crashed pod from space that carried a baby would attract too much attention and the public would start to ask questions. Restarting a debate on space travel came with curious hints of insurrection. The council could not allow this boy to capsize their influence over Krypton.

But Alura had no power to stop the people from questioning their councils. By the time she left the office, Law and Behavior’s platforms and entrances were crawling with reporters. The calls were flooding in that day as there was no one to field them. Qora hadn’t called in sick and Alura was fearing the worst. Those reporters would do anything for a story, including detain an innocent girl.

“Must you look so obvious?”

The voice startled Alura from her thoughts. She pushed off the frame of the doorway and greeted Astra with a timid smile. “I’m so glad you agreed to meet me. There is much to discuss.”

“Not here,” Astra said and shoved inside.

The apartment welcomed them with its silence. Astra cast aside her long jacket and strode away from its pile on the floor. Her long, heavy strides took her into the kitchen where Alura watched her snatch a glass out of the cabinet and poured from a decanter of water. Without pause, she downed half of the glass before striking it down with an audible racket. A small puddle ran over the edge of the counter and darkened black trousers further. Astra didn’t seem to notice.

Taking in quick, stunted breathes, she pressed the back of her hand to the worriment lining her forehead. Astra always had a difficult time decompressing. With the way she bottled everything up – the anger and offense as well as the tremor and joy – it was no wonder she needed to cool off. A splash of water to the face, a dive into the ocean, choking down ice water at break neck speed… those were Astra’s particular tactics.

Her hand jittered around the glass of water as the other clasped her hip. She looked positively agitated. Of course, Alura didn’t expect her to rest over what had transpired.

“Where are Alexandra and Misha?” Alura asked.

“They are safe.”

Alura would not allow the lack of detail to sting. She knew better than to expect complete faith from her sister when it was Alura who broke that faith. “And you trust her with him?”

Astra watched her hand tighten and relax around the glass. The skin over her knuckles grew pale as she applied just enough restraint in keeping the crystal from shattering. “You know I do.”

The labors taken to hold everything together became evident in her tense shoulders. Alura knew if she pushed too hard, Astra’s shell would break and something far more sinister than an aggrieved sister would emerge.

Alura approached the kitchen island as if she were sneaking on a wild cat. The summers spent with their uncle in Shade Canyon lent some experience in handling predators. Astra was no different. She might even exceed the wild cat in fervor and provocation.

“How did you see this discussion unfolding?” Astra finally turned around and pinned Alura with a glare. “With apologies or pleas?”

Alura rose on the balls of her feet and proceeded diplomatically despite how quickly Astra would plunge this into all-out war. “I wish to lend my assistance.”

A humorless bark of laughter echoed through the kitchen. Astra folded her arms. “How does that work exactly?”

“I don’t know. That is why I am here.”

Astra didn’t speak for a long while. In the seconds that passed, her cheeks flushed and a dark foreboding stiffened her. Even unsmoothed and oppressed by furrows, she retained a startling beauty.

“You were supposed to protect her.”

The near growl struck a chill through Alura. “That is not how –“

“She was a guest of House El and secured by their standing, not mine.” Not offering Alura the time to defend herself, Astra drove on in condescending fashion. “Have you even been watching the news? They are calling her and Misha an insult to tradition. I do not even know what that means anymore. If given the chance, high society would cleanse our world of anyone who doesn’t fit their notion of excellence. Even the product of a natural birth is considering heresy.” Her lip curled over clenched teeth. “Do you _know what that means for them?”_

Alura flattened her hands against her dress to keep them from clenching. “I should have foreseen the backlash. I did not prepare and that is my fault, no one else’s.”

“I am not the one you should be apologizing to. This should have been taken care of a long time ago when Misha was placed in your care.  Now I must take it upon myself to keep the rabid animals at bay.”

“Have you even asked her if she desires your help?” Alura argued. Though genuinely interested in the answer, she couldn’t help the judgment from slipping into her tone. She may be only twelve minutes older, but that never stopped her from questioning Astra’s choices. “Alexandra is a strong, independent woman who does not need protection.”

“That may be, but considering what she has been through, do you really think that is the best option?  After Earth’s destruction and all the people she has been stripped from, you want to abandon her? Even the strong and independent cannot win battles on their own, Alura.”

Astra’s protectiveness was suspicious. She had never acted this way towards anyone but her son and perhaps Kara when she was young and incapable of defending herself against the rhetoric of society. Did she even realize what this meant? Protecting a human shrouded in mystery would have consequences. Alura knew them well and sought to give Alexandra her independence without throwing her into harm’s way. But what Astra was doing was social suicide.

“Does she make you happy, Astra?”

The stumble unfolded quite visibly on Astra’s face. “What?”

“You would not take these risks for anyone. I know you don’t care what the rest of the world thinks of you. You follow your own sense of right and wrong and I admire that. I do. But you must start to care about these opinions of others because they _will_ want justice. It may not be justice in your eyes, but it is supported by people in numbers and influence. This devil-may-care behavior of yours will put pressure on both of our families and bring about hardships you have yet to comprehend. If you are taking responsibility for Jeremiah’s conception then I must know you are doing it for the right reasons.”

“Stop speaking to the court, Alura. What are you asking?”

“It is not enough that Alexandra is his mother. We do things for our children that, at times, go beyond reason, but there is a line. There are only so many sacrifices a Kryptonian can stand before age and infirmity solidify the end. Very few may accept it but I have come to believe that we are yearning creatures, Astra. I grant that I did not agree with your preference, but even for Misha it went too far. I never truly realized the effect until Alexandra came along. There must be something of benefit to you by the manner in which you proceed. So tell me, does she make you happy?”

“I do not presume to attract scandal to my family.”

“So then there are feelings involved?”

“Why ask of my happiness when _you_ are the one she kissed.” A fervor mottled Astra’s cheeks red. “Or have you forgotten already?”

“Oh, Astra. You are blinded beyond reason. Even jealous, you are still protecting her.”

“I am not _jealous_. If you detect a sense of _feeling_ in my behavior towards her, it is because she is Misha’s mother – nothing more. I respect the world he came from and that includes the people in it. I would not have him lose another piece of himself. I don’t care how demanding she is.”

Alura raised a brow. “If anyone can please her…”

“Do not finish that sentence.” Astra’s tone suffused into the thick air between them. “Must you continue to interfere in my life? What more could you possibly gain from my circumstances? My research will be put in jeopardy, my marriage ruined, and my son might possibly be taken from me.”

The prickling heat pressed Alura to break eye contact. “It was a mistake. An awful mistake, Astra. There is nothing I can do except make amends.”

“To what end? Your attempts to free yourself from guilt have satisfied no one. Your name means more to you than that of my son’s. I cannot compete with your righteousness. The stain on our resemblance was not enough – a useless sacrifice as it were. So why beat your head to the wall? No one is falling over themselves to forage pity for your struggle, least of all me.”

“I do not…” Battered by an unpardonable tempest, Alura shook her head and fell forward. “Please, Astra. What can I do?” She held fast to Astra’s forearms, lending every iota of commitment into the grip without causing the kind of pain she had put this mother through. “You mean so much more to me than my house name. _You_ are my home. I have always been Ze – it’s in our blood, the blood we share as twins. Don’t let them destroy that. Don’t allow my righteousness to come between us. It is a false virtue I adhere to and it means nothing.”

“Delusions, Alura. These are delusions you cling to.”

“It is my fault I pushed you away. I know that now. But we are older now, Astra. You have grown into a far wiser woman than I. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”

Astra looked down on her with pity in her eyes. For a moment, it almost seemed as if forgiveness would replace the pain. Her eyes were wavering and spilling over in luminous memory of times past – starlit nights mapping constellations, taking the blame for a blown wall caused by someone’s chemistry experiment, the boy Astra punched in elementary school when he proposed marriage to her sister.

She stepped back, yanking her arms out from under Alura. “You can start by using that reputation of yours. They require legal protections. Blackmail the councilmen if you have to. I don’t care.”

Alura’s mind raced for a solution. “An injunction,” she suggested quickly. “I can file an injunction against the press for harassment. They will not be allowed within fifty feet of Alexandra or Misha. It will send a message to other groups – scientists and religious zealots. The council will gag any further reports. They do not want a conspiracy on their hands.”

“It is a start. I want it done tonight. No dawdling. This is not some civil mandate. Misha cannot wait for the entirety of Argo City to debate his right to live here. I want you to push this through and make sure it is done right.”

“I can try for temporary citizenship but there will be pushback. The matter is far beyond that of Law and Behavior. We will need the support of representatives from every council. A debate such as this will have far-reaching consequences for the planet. Granting full citizenship to a human – even a half-human – will take time. Perhaps cycles.”

“I never doubted your ambition,” Astra said, expression hardening, “but you’ve always been held back by empathy. Maybe it is time to stop focusing on what everyone thinks and feels and do your job.”

Alura pinned her lips shut to keep from arguing. Considering the political climate and how unstable the public’s indignation, defending her ego should be the least of her concerns. She needed to put her family at the forefront of her mind and make recompense.

Alura took a deep breath and bowed her head. “Upon the honor of my house and Rao himself I swear to protect you and all those you hold dear. I will do everything in my power.” When the stolid form refused to budge, Alura looked up hesitantly and tried to find some semblance of the woman she grew up with. Her head tilted and with a quivering tenor she pleaded, “Will you not forgive me, sister?”

If Alura didn’t recognize Astra in her betrayed state, Astra looked as if she did not see any marks of her twin staring back. The muscles in her jaw loosened and tightened in a pattern likened to self-condemnation. The fight playing across her face indicated her indecision, yet she bore the strain as she had far longer than any soldier bore courage under fire.

When Astra’s considerations were finally put to rest, all the anger and bitterness was stripped from her voice. Anything that remained filled her eyes with sorrow. “Alexandra may not be without her faults but at least she had the courage to tell me the truth. She did not know what I am capable of, and at great risk to herself she chose to face me. What is your excuse?”

Alura stared after Astra’s turned back. Crushed beyond repair, she sagged against the counter without any remaining support at hand. The footsteps fleeing to an empty little boy’s room soon ebbed to silence.

She waited, ears pricked up to the slightest call. When no such summons came, she struggled into a standing position and made for the front door. A heavy feeling in her chest told her she was no longer wanted.


	7. A New Normal

It had been nine days since Astra left them safe and sound at the cabin. When she came for them, she wasted no time and took them directly home. The separation had been hard on Astra. The circles under her eyes and the ashen skin was evidence enough that she hadn’t been taking care of herself.

It was no wonder that she went straight to him. A substantial weight gave out of her body when her eyes caught his head of dark curls. Nine days without her baby boy and the sight of him melted her to tears. She hardly minded stooping to such vulnerable depths in front of Alex any more than Alex minded the sight. But that was before Jeremiah’s reaction.

In hindsight, it was natural that the separation provoked crossness. Any toddler with such limited understanding of time would have thought she had abandoned him. Nine days must have felt like weeks to Astra but who knew what Jeremiah was thinking. On the third day, he looked around and, upon not seeing his mother, tucked his chin in and stewed over his yogurt. The disappointment set in like a dark cloud. No number of cuddles from Alex could soothe him. When Astra had told him she would be gone for “a few days” he must have taken it as a few hours for he had never been without her longer.

It was no wonder that he pulled away from her. Astra burst through the front door and fell to her knees before him. And little Jeremiah, all he saw was a woman who lied to him, a woman who said she’d be back when he expected her sooner. The results proved devastating. Alex hoped she’d never have to see that expression on Astra’s face again. What made matters worse was that he clung to Alex the whole ride home. A twinge of guilt twisted her stomach into knots. She had once made a promise that her presence in Jeremiah’s life would never come between them. However inadvertently, she intervened just by being a solid, warm body for Jeremiah to press up against.

The minute they entered Astra’s home it should have occurred to Jeremiah that she had not abandoned him and that she kept her promise in coming home. The reality hadn’t firmly set in until Astra had put him down for bed – her bed in the hope that it would help overcome this separation anxiety. Alex had been loitering in the hallway when he called for her to come back and Astra released a sob. She watched as they welcomed each other back into their lives. It was a hug that would have made anyone jealous. Alex was quite satisfied as a spectator and respected that this was their moment not hers.

In the meantime, Alex resigned herself to the living room. She flipped on the news only to find that there had been no recent developments. Nothing else preoccupied her time, so she sat back and awaited Astra. Soon, the events of the recent week slipped into mind.

The days she spent with Jeremiah at the cabin were some of her happiest on Krypton. Despite being confined and bereft of television, they made their own fun. Jeremiah, apparently, loved hide and seek. Alex herself preferred not to crawl around the hardwood floor on her hands and knees but she'd suffer whatever aches and pains to make her son happy. He helped dust the cabin clean, inevitably making more of a mess than anything. Hoisted in her arms, he’d whip his towel about and send up clouds of dust particles which had Alex sneezing all afternoon. She cooked their meals over the stove and succeeded in keeping the cabin in one piece. She didn’t even burn her tongue off in the hunt for the perfect balance of spices (although she had play acted to get a giggle from her audience). By the end of every night they ended up snuggled in bed and spent from the day’s activities.

For as blissful as the nine days had been, they lacked something. There were times Alex would walk through the cabin as if it resembled only half of a dream. Halfway through their stay even Jeremiah started to pick up on their peculiar surroundings. While he had his Karhu and his Laylee and woke up to his yogurt treat every morning, the most important part of his day was not there.

It hadn't felt right to be without Astra. While there was plenty of warmth and affection, Alex felt no sense of togetherness. The last few days were the worst. Cracking a smile or telling a joke seemed an insult to the one person who should have been there. A grumpy Jeremiah and a despondent Alex made for a gloomy end to their retreat.

Coming back to Astra’s home and filling it with sobs of joy righted the word. Hugs and sniffles and “Mama come back” filled the empty spaces and brought the sunshine back into their lives. The dream was now complete.

But what did that mean for Alex? Whatever hopes detained came crashing down at the question. Astra’s home was not hers. She didn’t live there. Not a room in the house belonged to her. More importantly, she had no more legal claim to Jeremiah than she had to full citizenship.

The jarring turn from happiness to dread made Alex dizzy. If only she could have held on to that feeling. Having Astra back filled a new space in her heart and not just for her own sake. Nothing could have topped this night. Yet now the doubts of her place in that house were squeezing round her heart and asking things of her that she didn’t want to ask.

When Astra finally emerged, she looked no worse for wear. Her cheeks still carried a rosy tinge to them and she blinked against a lingering moisture, all due in part to happiness than anything less.

“You should stay with him,” Alex suggested from the sofa. “I can let myself out.”

Astra descended the steps into the living room. “He needs his sleep. I don’t want to keep him up.” She sank heavily into the sofa across from Alex, sweeping a hand through her unkempt curls. The light from the holotable caught her eye. “What are you watching?” she asked, rather indifferent to the answer.

Alex shrugged. “I’ve been without news for nine days. I’m kind of surprised by the mediocre stories. Can I assume that your plan worked?”

Eyes falling shut, Astra gave a sleepy grunt. She took a few calming breathes before bringing Alex up to speed on recent events. Since Alura filed the injunction, all investigations into Alex and the ‘half-human boy’ had come to a grinding halt. Not that people would forget anytime soon. The footage of Alex fleeing the Institute in addition to Astra’s gallant though misguided deed in subduing their attacker would remain in the minds of every anti-human citizen. 

But they were just too frightened to step out of line. The weighty presence of the Council of Law and Behavior alone injected panic into the public. Everyone knew that a loose tongue would pay a penalty.

It took a few days for the mentality to sink in, hence Astra’s delay in retrieving her ex-fugitives. With all protests died down and derisive talk of Astra’s ‘pet’ extinguished, Alex and Jeremiah could rest easy.

Alex, though, did not take the conditions of her return lightly.

“The council put a gag order on the media?” Alex gaped. “Isn’t that… unconstitutional? I mean, I realized when I got here that this planet doesn’t have the most democratic system of government. It’s not easy to get over but what can I do? I’m just surprised by the lengths your government will go to keep people quiet. Doesn’t Krypton have freedom of press rights?”

Fingers leaving the stress lines in her forehead, Astra pried her eyes open. “You do not sound grateful.” She gaged Alex’s comment with a critical eye. “The order is for yours and Misha’s protection. Are their rights really more important than yours at the moment?”

“I may not have much sympathy for the people who broadcasted my name over the airwaves, but they were just doing their job. Don’t you have the slightest problem with these measures? I thought you were in the fight against oppression and all.”

“I used to feel as you do. Believe me, the world would be a better place if Law and Behavior didn’t poke around in every aspect of life on Krypton. I have my fair share of grievances when it comes to the restrictions on scientific research, and I continue to lobby the Institute for more freedom. However, I do not care much for the world’s problems when my son is in jeopardy. He is far more precious to me than journalistic integrity.”

Alex picked up on the unspoken and smiled at how she could relate. “Being a mother has changed you.”

A tranquil expression settled in. Astra’s head lolled back against the sofa. “In the most unexpected of ways.”

Talk of parenthood spurred Alex to notice the starkness of the apartment. Shadows of night darkened the corridor leading to the other bedrooms. No sounds but that of their voices filled the space.

“Where is Non?”

Astra’s serene demeanor was replaced with something more rigid. Alex couldn’t tell if she was annoyed or saddened, but it was a marked difference from the peace which had smoothed out those constant concerns. She almost regretted asking.

“He is no longer living here.” Astra hadn’t removed herself from her lounged state. She stared at the ceiling, fingers loosely woven into her hair. “Non has asked for a divorce. Law and Behavior will grant it to him, of course. Any law-abiding Kryptonian would side with him in the matter.”

Alex squirmed in place. She was uncertain whether she wanted the details. “I’m sorry.”

“He certainly put the pieces together. With your continued presence, which he discovered upon leaving one morning, he felt unreasonably threatened. I could not defend myself because he would not allow me to. He would not listen to my ‘excuses’ as he put it.” She could not even find the sarcasm to roll her eyes.

Alex’s shoulders drooped further. When someone like Astra did not see reason to spit acid at a justifiable target, that’s when things were at their bleakest.

“Ironically,” continued Astra, “he filed for divorce just before my name was howled from every news source.” The demure streak finally broke when she explained in a tone that mocked disgrace, “They outed me as a harlot too weak to fend off the human seductress.”

The dark humor did not amuse Alex. She slid to the edge of her seat, face marred in concern. “When was this?”

“Two days after the injunction. The media assumed I was fair game until Alura hit them with another harassment suit.”

Alex cocked a brow. “Did she, now?”

Astra detected the prodding tone. Her eyes landed on Alex and squinted. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“You are meddling. Subtly. Stop that.”

Alex shrugged.

“Non’s exaggerated affliction is the least of my concerns.” Astra lay back down and returned her gaze upward. “He is a resourceful person and will recover from this scandal far better than I will. A divorce will further paint me as the antagonist. It will not matter who Alura sues. One cannot stop rumor from circulating.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what charges did Non level against you? This was before the news implicated you.”

“What does it matter?” Astra muttered under her breath. She flicked her hand to show her indifference. “He claimed I neglected our vows. I hadn’t the patience to debate the issue. It only would have drawn more attention. Sure enough, just days later the press heralds me as a liar, adulterer, and traitor to Krypton’s ways.” Her gaze flicked to Alex. “Which is far less concerning than the slander thrown at you and Misha.”

“How will Non’s leaving affect Jeremiah?”

Astra didn’t speak for a while. “Misha will note his absence but that would be the extent of it. They were never close to begin with. Perhaps it was my fault I never encouraged a bond between them. Since I brought Misha home, I feared the slightest hint of suspicion towards him. The fact that I was mother to a half-human baby did not set in right away. The panic felt absurdly real. I kept him so close it is an amazement that we ever left the house the first month following the adoption.”

Alex’s gaze dropped to the reflective surface of the coffee table. She had experienced a similar panic for Jeremiah’s wellbeing. Those first days spent in recovery had Alex’s eyes darting to the ICU door whenever she heard a noise. She expected every likely suspect, Maxwell Lord included, to barrel in and take away her newborn for experimentation. As far as everyone on Earth was concerned, no child had ever been conceived from a human and a Kryptonian. If anyone found out, Jeremiah would have been a target of every scientist, government, and religious extremist on the planet. The Cadmus project would have paid top dollar to get a piece of him and so would General Lane.

Despite the joy of finally welcoming her son into the world, Alex had been filled with dark thoughts in those days. There was no law she wouldn’t break, no arteries she wouldn’t sever to ensure Jeremiah’s safety. The fear of losing one’s child could push a mother to unspeakable limits.

By the time Alex returned her attentions, Astra’s lids were drooping. She looked so peaceful; Alex hated to disturb her.

Self-conscious, she shifted on the sofa and cleared her throat.

Astra grunted and perked up with blinking eyes. When her vision focused, she frowned at Alex. “Did you say something?”

“Have you gotten any sleep?”

The inquiry roused Astra to semi-alertness. She lifted off of the back of the sofa and leaned forward, elbows on her knees. The nine days without Jeremiah still lingered in the bleak tinge to her skin. “Some,” she replied, kneading the stiffness out of her neck.

“I can make something for us to eat if you want.”

“No, thank you. I’m not hungry.”

“Okay, well…” Alex diverted her eyes, tensing to the changed atmosphere. Astra was looking docile as ever and very pretty in a kittenish, nearly-dozing-off sort of way. They were not even fighting. What was happening? “I should take off.”

Astra rose at the same time. “You don’t have to do that.”

The surprisingly alert tone beckoned Alex’s puzzlement more than the remark. “What?”

If Alex was puzzled, Astra looked downright spooked. “I…” Her eyes grew and grew, jaw slackening, and chest pitching for air. Until sense snapped her mouth shut and returned her composure. She continued at a measured pace, questioning each syllable as it slipped off her tongue. “I… think you should stay.”

Alex swallowed back the swell of hope. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? After everything that’s happened? Alura worked hard to get those reporters off our backs. My being here just fans the flames.”

“They cannot harm Misha anymore. At least not through slander.”

“I’m not just talking about him.”

“Your consideration is misguided.” The tone approached avoidance and caused Astra to stumble. Mouth working in hesitation, she shook her head. “What I mean to say is that it is appreciated though unnecessary. As I said, the damage is done and through no fault of your own. This house is as much Misha's as it is mine.”

Right, Alex thought. She bit her cheek in reprimand. This was about their son’s needs, not Astra’s. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“There is a spare bedroom to use at your disposal.”

Alex was running out of excuses. Before she could commit, Astra was showing her out of the living room and down a corridor, a corridor Alex knew very well led not only to Jeremiah but one night that turned into two and would beget such long sought-after possibility. As she allowed Astra to lead her forward, Alex’s heart ached with every step. Whether it ached for good or ill she didn’t know.

“Considering his recent anxiety,” Astra said, “I think it unwise for you not to be here come morning. You should stay. Misha will expect it.”

“He expects it?”

“Not in so many words. The behest is there nonetheless.”

“He’s a bossy pants, isn’t he?”

“Pardon.” Astra squinted. “Bossy pants?”

Alex’s snicker turned into a chuckle because who would have thought those particular words would come from Astra’s mouth? “He has us wrapped around his finger.”

Astra’s pace grew more languid as they proceeded to their separate bedrooms. “Yes, but I find comfort in the fact that someone should want me that close. I would grant no one else such power over me.”

Alex smiled softly. “I feel the same.”

“Goodnight, Alexandra.”

She hummed sleepily, turning into her bedroom. “Goodnight, Astra.”

* * *

Alex descended the steps into her bedroom, dropped her bag in some random spot, and collapsed face first into the sofa. She moaned her frustration into the cushion before turning towards the setting sun.

Another hard day at the lab. As they grew near their deadline for grant approval, there was a greater rush for efficiency. Astra demanded results even as she worked herself ragged to get them. Although the Institute hadn’t made an inquiry into her ‘extracurricular activities,’ they did seem to keep their distance. She was by all intents and purposes a threat to their pride, so everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The whole campus knew about the divorce and her suspected involvement with the half-human and his mother. Their non-confrontational behavior bothered Alex; she waited for the event that someone would throw curses at her face or gesture something obscene. Being amongst freethinking scientists of experimental technology, the looks bore a note of fascination rather than disgust. Still, the stares were off putting. She didn’t want to think what kind of response Astra was getting. She just felt grateful that they still had jobs.

The quiet response from both the Institute and the Science Council pressed Astra into overtime. She wasn’t taking chances. If her team couldn’t provide evidence that their project had merit then everyone would have to find new jobs. Four months until the Institute made their decision. No matter what rumors circulated, the team would have many long days ahead of them.

That day Alex stayed an extra two hours in order to spend the following morning with Jeremiah. He wanted to show her his very first hologame (which meant she would have to figure out how to set it up). Of course, living in the same house helped her keep the engagement. Astra had been right: he certainly expected her to stay in some capacity. Having two parents actively participating in his life provided stability Astra wouldn’t upset, which probably resulted in Alex’s continued habitation. It had been a week since they returned from Shade Canyon and Astra still hadn’t asked her to pack up. Alex was too satisfied being so near to Jeremiah every night and morning to bring up the subject.

As hopeful the thought of hugging her son after a long day’s work, she’d have to wait. Astra was picking him up from Soren’s house. Since the news leak, they had to resolve the matter of who they trusted to keep Jeremiah safe while they were at work. Qora was nowhere to be found. Kara was in school. Since the team found out, everyone had been understanding. Soren, being one of Astra’s oldest colleagues, was the first to offer support. He and his wife, Oda, were good friends of Astra’s and had a little girl of two years. It seemed appropriate that Soren’s wife take over caring for Jeremiah while his mothers were working. Not only was she experienced in child-rearing, but she could be depended on at a moment’s notice. Astra’s recommendation was all Alex needed.

A knock sounded at her door. Alex flung herself upright and glanced about. She blinked in disorientation. The glow of Argo City nightlife beyond the window threw her. She must have passed out for a while.

Quickly, Alex flattened the kinks in her hair and smoothed out her shirt. “Uh, come in!”

The doors parted for Astra who presented in similar black uniform and white trim. <Goodness,> she muttered into the gloom. She gestured to the light switch. “May I?”

“Oh, yes, please.” Alex scrubbed the weariness from her eyes before exposing them. A tranquil golden light bathed the walls. “I must have fallen asleep.”

“You have been working very diligently.”

“Yeah,” she said vaguely. She wouldn’t allow herself to linger on the tenderness in Astra’s voice. It was a compliment from her boss, nothing more. “How did Jeremiah do with Oda?”

The mere mention of him combated the long work day with a sunny aura. Astra smiled softly and said, “Apparently, he refused to take a nap today. I think he may be growing out of it.”

“That or he wanted to get a rise out of her.” Alex gave a bemused shake of her head. “I don’t know how she puts up with it.”

“Because he goes back to his house every night. Oda has only her little one to put up with.”

“I’d like to know how people juggle more than one child. I’m just trying to get from one day to the next with Jeremiah.” Alex’s fatigue melted to reveal a blissful expression. “Though he’s terribly worth it.”

Grinning nostalgic, Astra hummed an affirmative.

“God,” Alex sighed at a sudden thought, “I wish I could switch places with him sometimes. To be able to take a nap during the day? I would sell my first born for one of those if he wasn’t so adorable.”

“Is your commute satisfactory?”

The transition caused Alex to stumble. “Um, sure. Why do you ask?”

“May I speak frankly?”

“Go ahead.”

Astra came down the steps and approached where Alex sat. The bedroom was just large enough to provide a common area where people could sit and talk or play games at the holotable. Alex hadn’t spent enough time there to enjoy its amenities. When she wasn’t playing with Jeremiah or sharing a meal with them in the dining area, she was sleeping off her work day.

When Astra settled herself on one of the small divans across from Alex, she said, “I wanted to discuss living arrangements.”

A plummeting sensation curbed Alex’s ease. She glanced down to be reassured of the carpet beneath her feet. It was too soon. She couldn’t leave now. “You want me to leave?”

Astra’s eyes widened in surprise. She uttered an “Oh” through her perfectly ‘o’ shaped mouth. Her brows crunched together. “I did not mean to make it sound like that. No, I am not asking you to leave. I was hoping you would consider an arrangement of a more permanent nature. Your presence here has improved Misha’s mood. He is much more active and… communicative than before. I would not want to hinder his progress. In fact, you being here in the mornings has cemented a schedule he has acclimated to and I do not wish to break it.”

Alex’s gaze dropped to the heaving chest. She didn’t think she’d heard a Kryptonian speak so fast. Did they have no limit to words per second? Or did the discussion of ‘living arrangements’ make Astra that anxious?

The lack of response had Astra taking in another gulp of air. “Of course, this is a suggestion. I do not want you to see it as bribery. Misha would be disappointed should you return to Alura’s, but he is a resilient child.”

“I don’t want to put him in that position,” Alex said, distractedly. At the back of her mind she was wondering how much fight Astra had left in her to make this about Jeremiah. “But I also don’t want to confuse him. You two already have a relationship. Me being here upsets that balance.”

A troubled twinge contorted Astra’s features. She looked down into her hands, struggling to find the words. “Our bonds with Misha are different because of who we are. A human possesses experiences and customs that a Kryptonian does not. We each bring something to Jeremiah that is unique to our cultures. Just because we come from different worlds does not mean he prefers one over the other. It has come to my attention,” Astra’s eyes, gleaming in sincerity, reconnected with Alex’s, “that he does love you.”

A wobbly breath left Alex. “Oh…”

“So, in effect, he would outright refuse your departure.” The thought of Jeremiah passing her over caused Astra to chuckle. “I have no say in it.”

“But if you did?”

It inspired a pause. Astra tilted her head in admission. “As long as you do not feel coerced or guilty in staying, I would be glad to welcome you.”

The shy grin Alex received burned her cheeks to such an intensity that had her break eye contact for half a moment. She smiled back politely because how else was she to respond to that? Astra wanted her there. Actually, _wanted_ her. Maybe not in the way that satisfied Alex’s innermost urges, but her presence there was accepted nonetheless. And with gladness. What more could she ask for?

A throat clearing jerked Alex out of her thoughts. Astra, too, seemed to be struggling to stay on point. “I do not want to put him through another separation. And with the days you spent with him at the cabin, there was bound to be a bonding experience. What I’m trying to say is that he should have the people he loves around him. The apartment may be small but you have a bedroom here to do with as you please.”

“I appreciate the sense of security,” Alex said, “especially after what happened. I don’t mind the size.” She shrugged, looking around her room. “This is definitely bigger than my place back on Earth. I guess what _I’m_ trying to say is that I accept the offer. I’d be happy to stay longer.”

“Misha will be pleased.” Astra let out a small, relieved sigh and rose from the sofa. “Feel free to bring more of your things from Alura’s. Non took the last of his possessions before you and Misha arrived, however if the storage space should not suffice, please let me know and I can acquire a chest or two.”

“Wait…” Alex blinked rapidly, shaking her head. Unable to sit on the news, she shot up. “This was Non’s room?”

Astra turned her head slightly. “Do you take issue with sleeping here? If it is that uncomfortable, I suppose you can take my room, but, really, there is no difference. They are similar in size and design.”

“You and Non slept apart?”

Astra barely bat an eye at the line Alex was crossing. She took it with a furrow of her brow and a “… Yes.”

Alex’s mouth opened and closed as she tried to wrap her head around the news. “All this time and you never thought to tell me? You let me keep thinking you and Non were together, like, _together_.”

Failing to catch on to Alex’s distress, Astra pointed out, “We were still wedded. There were appearances to keep up.”

“Does Alura know?”

“Of course she knows. Not that I told her. She found out.”

“I see. Okay then.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No.”

“Are you sure? Your heart rate has increased three beats per minute.”

“ _Astra_.” Alex closed her eyes before opening them in a glare. “That’s invasion of privacy. Stop doing that.”

The tips of Astra’s ears turned red, and goddamn it if the reaction didn’t make her look as adorable as a puppy. “Apologies,” she murmured. “I know you have made your dislike of Non clear on previous occasions, but you should fear no repercussions from him. He will not be returning. This room is yours now and you may do with it as you please.”

“I’m really not worried about Non,” Alex insisted, sitting back down, “not anymore. I’m just… surprised by the behavior between married couples. Living on Krypton has been an education in every sense of the word. I’ve seen no trace of emotion between partners beyond a general liking. There’s a coldness here I’m not used to. It’s quite jarring for someone from Earth. Public displays of affection were much more prevalent where I came from.”

Pausing despite her many opinions on the matter, Alex realized where this conversation was leading. By the look of it, Astra’s rueful blush had faded to curiosity. If she desired Alex’s assessment of Kryptonian sexual practices, she’d have to wait. A long time. Preferably when Jeremiah was not within earshot.

Sometime during her pause Astra had sat back down and was waiting with a soft patience. Alex pulled her leg underneath her, hedging for an appropriate segue.

In the end, she went with something that had been pestering her for a while. She wet her lips and said, “You didn’t have to tell the team.”

“Tell them what?”

“That you, for lack of a better term, fraternized with the human.”

It dawned on Astra with a slow nod, though she didn’t reply right away. She receded into her thoughts, brows crunching together. “It was not about answering their questions. I had to prove something to myself. Misha… Jeremiah… is my son whether or not by blood. I’m sorry the woman who bore him is not here but I am and he needed me. When Soren asked if I was the Kryptonian the reporter spoke of, there was only one conceivable answer. I took the risk of painting myself as an adulteress because the alternative would have made me a coward and unworthy of calling myself his mother. I am not ashamed of him.” She tilted her head. “I’m curious. If I had said no, how would you have explained his Kryptonian parent?”

“I’m… not sure.”

“Hm,” a lopsided smile graced Astra's lips and she cocked a brow, “see? This is much easier than having to prove a wormhole theory, wouldn’t you say?”

Alex’s smile grew weak in light of the significance of what Astra was admitting to. This was so much more complicated than playing the role of biological mother. The seemingly insignificant reply of “yes” had far reaching consequences Astra hadn’t yet considered.

“I recognize the sacrifice you’re making for him,” said Alex. “This can get you in a lot of trouble down the road and I don’t want your career to suffer. I’m not asking you to go back on your word. I’m just saying thank you. For being there for him.”

Astra stared long and soft. “I’m sure she would be here if she could.” Her gaze flinched unexpectedly and she escaped into the fascination of her cuticles. “And I do not think I would get in the way if she was here. Creating life – and a beautiful one at that – should count for something.”

“And so does taking responsibility for an offense that endangers you. You are worthy, Astra. I know you haven’t forgiven her but Alura was right. She saw the potential in you to give Jeremiah a wonderful life. Shouldn’t we be glad she came through for him? She gave you your son and you love him regardless of whose blood runs in his veins.”

“Alura did not give me my son. You did. If it were not for you and your Astra, he would not have survived. He would not have been given the chance to make it this far.”

“While I appreciate the gesture, I still think Alura deserves credit.”

Sighing, Astra swept a hand across her forehead. “You are not going to back down on this, are you?”

“No,” Alex answered succinctly, “I’m not.” She squirmed to a certain topic that had been lingering below the surface for a while. Seeing as they were already halfway there, she decided to come out with it. “So if the team is under the impression that we were together before I started working for you, does that mean we have to make it look like we had a falling out or something?”

“The awkwardness is already so palatable, I do not think it will be difficult to keep up appearances. ”

“It isn’t that awkward,” Alex quipped. Her chuckle ebbed into silence. “Is it?”

“It is a difficult subject.”

“Okay. Should we talk about it?”

“Well…” Astra’s eyes narrowed into a void of contemplation. “We have agreed to a custody arrangement that has us both in contact with Misha, and you have started living here…”

“I’ve done undercover work for the DEO, so I don’t mind putting on a performance.” Alex frowned, wondering what she meant by that. “I guess I could make a scene or something – draw attention to our tension.”

Astra’s brows slumped in puzzlement. She was having a head scratching moment without the actual head scratching. “I’m not sure I follow.”

“Right there with you,” Alex mumbled under her breath.

“I suppose there should be an element of tension. The team knows I would not undermine my integrity unless it was under the greatest of circumstances. I was married to Non at the time, so I must have been very much devoted to our association to risk dishonor. And there is the fact that you told the entire team you loved me…”

As unnecessary as it was, Alex raised her hand up to make clear, “Not with you.”

“Indeed, however, they must never know that due to the migraine-inducing concept that is alternate universes.”

A sigh of exasperation left of Alex. “Should we just tell them, then? I mean, what’s the harm? There’s another Earth with another Astra. Oh, yeah, you all probably have another you on an alternate Krypton that was destroyed.” Alex’s shoulders fell and she shut her eyes in mortification. “Okay, I see the harm now.”

“I think of this as a mere wrinkle. We will move beyond it and so will our colleagues.”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely.”

Impressed, Alex raised her brows. “You’re taking this far better than I am.”

For a moment, Astra looked as if she would reply but she stopped herself. She fell into silent contemplation that only became more of a struggle as evidenced by the line deepening between her eyebrows.

“Alexandra,” Astra frowned for the right words, “I already respect you as my professional associate. Perhaps if we were to become… friends… this would easier for Misha to understand. In addition, our rapport outside the lab would give the impression that we had a previous relationship, one that had been mended in a platonic sense and would, therefore, solidify our front. Not that it is all a pretense. I would be pleased to have your company anywhere.”

Despite the slight cringe at the end of Astra’s proposal, it didn’t fail to amuse Alex. She chuckled and peered at Astra. “I don’t think I’ve heard a friend request sound so technical.”

Little by little, Astra’s expression crumpled.

Sometimes, Alex forgot how prone to disappointment this Astra was. Be it nervousness or inexperience, she didn’t give the impression of someone who spent much time with people outside a scientific capacity. She may be extremely assertive as a scientist, but as soon as it came time to build relationships, she lacked the boost of confidence.

“Damn.” Alex winced at her insensitivity. She began gesturing with her hands to stop Astra from expecting the worst. “I’m such an asshole. Of course I accept your friend request. You’re Jeremiah’s mother.”

Astra’s disappointment turned to suspicion. “Because I’m his mother?”

Alex's insides wilted as if repelled by her own stupidity. Maybe Astra wasn’t the only one struggling to form relationships. She shrugged her shoulder and admitted, “Not just because of that. I like you as a person.”

“You are…” Astra stare hardened if only in concentration because she really wasn’t seeing Alex, she was analyzing every angle that followed, “… likable as well.”

The unexpectedness of it had Alex bursting out in a cackle. “Likeable? Wow, you certainly don’t sweat the details. But you’re from an emotionally sterile society. I’ll give you a pass.”

“Do not accuse me of withholding detail when you were the one who started it.” Astra gave a petulant huff and glared. “And I am not comparable to my people,” she sustained.

As much as Alex wanted her to prove it, she didn’t get the chance to bait her. A pity. Just when things were getting playful.

A voice hollered from the living room. Astra’s Kryptonian hearing allowed her to hear every noise in the house but she’d been preoccupied with Alex. When he called, they heard it at the same time.

“Mama! I walk!”

Alex’s eyes widened. “Did he say…?”

Astra didn’t bother stating the obvious. “Misha, darling! Wait for Mama!”

Alex choked back a chuckle because in no universe did anyone make Astra stumble over her feet like Jeremiah. Alex held back her amusement because she, too, embarrassed herself quite splendidly in the scramble too.

“Jeremiah!” Alex called, hoping he’d wait for his slow poke human mother as well.

By the time she got there Astra was on her knees and holding her arms out. Jeremiah, tongue curved around his top lip, was measuring the distance with a concentration that put Einstein to shame. He took a wobbly step forward.

Alex heard a gasp but was too busy watching her baby growing before her eyes to notice where it was coming from. She clapped a hand over her mouth, smiling around the gasps and uncaring of the tears.

Jeremiah’s smile perked ever brighter at her entrance. He took two more steps before wind milling his arms in exuberance and losing his balance. From the blanket of Astra’s arms, Jeremiah grinned up at Alex and shouted, “Laylee!”

* * *

The rich scent of grilled meat hung in the air. Nothing tingled Alex’s taste buds like Kryptonian barbecue. The tender round patties sizzled and popped in their own juices. It was the first food she managed to acclimate her stomach to; not too chewy or spicy and bursting with flavor. With Astra and Jeremiah there it almost felt like home.

For weeks Jeremiah had been asking to return to the fire house. It took a while for Astra and Alex to figure out that he was talking about the cabin in Shade Canyon. Alex had lit the hearth every night to stave off the chill, hence ‘fire house.’ Jeremiah loved to watch the licking flames and giggled to the feel of the heat on his bare feet. The crackling sound lulled him to sleep on many occasions.

It didn’t take much convincing. They’d been getting the doe-eyed treatment for days and it worked like a charm. Though neither she nor Astra would admit it, their son might possibly be turning into a crafty little scoundrel.

Jeremiah sat in his highchair and watched them cook while his legs swung under the table. A yellow vegetable hung between his lips as he sucked on it, not really committing despite Astra’s pointed looks. He looked absolutely chuffed to be gnawing on the fruits of his mother’s labors.

“If you do not finish those vegetables, dearest, we will be forced to recruit you for ham duty.”

“Hamburger,” Alex corrected with a chuckle. She feigned suspicion with a narrowing of her eyes. “Can he even reach the stove?”

“He can certainly walk all over Rao’s creation now.” Astra playfully scrunched her nose at Jeremiah who had suddenly gone quiet. “I’m sure we can work something out.”

He stared at her for a moment before shoving the drool seasoned veggie into his mouth and savoring it with a grimace.

“Well done.” Astra grinned till her cheeks turned pink. “Three more to go, dearest.”

Alex asked, “You think he’ll appease you just because you throw ‘dearest’ into it?”

“It seems to work on him.”

The amusement died in Alex’s throat and she turned back to the stove. If Astra ever used “dearest” on her, Alex would grant her anything under the sun. It was best Astra never found out about that or she’d misuse her power every chance she got.

“Ah-ah.” Astra shooed her away from the stove. “This is _my_ duty. Please sit down.”

Alex knew better than to get between a Kryptonian and their kitchen. Zor got in such a snit when anyone so much as asked when dinner would be ready. Alex found out the hard way one evening when he launched a tasting spoon into the ceiling and burst into a string of Kryptonese that made Alura turn pale. It sufficed to say Alex would never again look over his shoulder, in the kitchen or any other location.

Astra was a different story. She demanded authority in the kitchen with a little more congeniality. Even if her culinary competency lay somewhere between dialing for takeout and grilling a patty, she still held dominion over the spatula.

In the beginning, she hadn’t been sold on the whole hamburger thing. Astra liked her spicy noodle thing because it was the only meal she could recreate, but Alex was dead sick of the spicy noodle thing because it gave her heartburn.

She was able to convince Astra that if one sandwiched a meat patty between bread and vegetables, it would bring the flavors to a whole new level. They met in the middle: grilled hamburger and spicy French fries. In recreating the Earth meal Alex had described, Astra made the burger meat from a type of ground red meat standard on Krypton and used a starchy vegetable fried in the fashion of French fries.

It was the perfect accompaniment to a cabin weekend and she appreciated that Astra was going outside her comfort zone. Alex’s mouth was watering just watching her – _it_ , the cooking meat, _not_ Astra. Despite herself, she cocked her head and allowed her appreciation to wander. From her propped position against the pantry door, she had a great view of both stove and chef. Astra was wearing her ‘home wear’ again. The supple black yoga pants and white three-quarter length tunic made her look extra soft. As she leaned over to check the pinkness of the meat, a brunette wave swung forward. With an annoyed twist of her mouth, she curled it back behind her ear for the fourth time that evening. Four times. Alex was very observant these days.

Just as Alex was appreciating how fine Astra’s ass looked in those yoga pants, she inhaled sharply and shook her head of its impure thoughts. Goddamn it. What was wrong with her all of a sudden? She really needed to find an outlet for these frustrations. Preferably not in the bed of a house kept by Kryptonian ears.

“For someone who was opposed to Earth food, you did surrender rather quickly.” Alex’s crossed arms tightened as she dragged her gaze down. “Have I been that good?”

Astra stared at her. “Of course. Your diligent research skills are deserving of it.”

Blushing, Alex bit her cheek in reprimand because that’s not at all what her traitorous mind was suggesting.

Whenever temptation beckoned, she forced the habit of biting the inside of her cheek or lip. Pain to abate pleasure – like that ever helped anyone. The longer she spent around Astra the more difficult it was to censor her thoughts. Astra didn’t have a grasp on human innuendos so she couldn’t know what she was doing and that made her excruciatingly adorable. A physical relationship was obviously new for her, and the last thing Alex wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. They were just starting to click as more than colleagues. They’d become friends, friends who lived in the same house and were raising a child together. So there was no way they were headed beyond the realm of friendship. Nope.

In the 127 instances Alex had told herself no other feelings would happen between them, she always failed to convince her instincts. Her body recognized Astra. Her body was attracted to her beyond all reasonable doubt. How could she possibly deny herself? If Astra was experiencing these sensations and didn’t know what to do with them, didn’t Alex have a responsibility to help her? The human body was not meant to resist its natural desires. The need for sex existed on the same level as food, water, and air. Alex was pretty darn sure Kryptonians were built the same way despite this planet’s grip on abstinence.

She cleared her throat and focused on passing the microplane to Astra. "What do you think the team is doing right now?”

Astra frowned at the microplane and put it off to the side. "Soren is with his wife and daughter. They're visiting her parents. I think Irina was going to some sporting occasion or other."

Alex snorted. "Some sporting occasion or other?"

"Oh, I don't know what they're calling it these days. Lucya mentioned she was out of the city visiting friends, although I don't think that's entirely true. She does not like people knowing how she spends her time off. And I dare not hazard a guess as to what Axel is up to."

"Unless you changed the locks, Lev is probably at the lab putting us all to shame. He'll be sweet about it, though, won't he?"

Astra chuckled. "Yes, he can be like that."

"You know, it's really nice of you to give us a few days off."

"Are you saying that as my subordinate or my friend?"

Alex smiled. “Whatever yields more hamburgers.”

Failing to stifle the laugh, Astra narrowed her eyes sternly.  “Let’s wait and see if it lives up to its reputation, shall we?”

* * *

Astra ate her words later and conceded to the palatable human food. Alex and Jeremiah were a bit more vocal, citing their approval in “oos” and “mms.” 

After their scrumptious meal had been digested, they sat watching the fire. Alex had gotten through a few chapters of her book – a historical fiction tale that put Arthur C. Clark’s odyssey to shame – and quit when the Kryptonese symbols started to blur together.

Jeremiah lay between them as he went about his ‘fire watch.’ The flames lapped from the hearth and gave off a soothing heat. Everything about the fire and the weight of her son’s head on her lap made room in her heart where she thought none existed. For as rich as her life had been on Earth, Alex knew she had to create a new one on Krypton. Jeremiah, Astra, Alura, Kara and so many people and things were helping to create new memories. It was not moving on – she could never forget her family and friends. What she was doing there on Krypton she likened to a new chapter, a turn of the page. Her story began on Earth, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t continue it elsewhere.

The lids of Jeremiah's eyes grew leaden as she combed through his dark waves of hair. The rise and fall of his body was beginning to enter a slumbering pace.

The sound of a book closing prompted Alex’s eyes to open. She turned to see Astra lulled by her own euphoria. Her breaths came slow and even as she watched Jeremiah’s curls being combed through. Alex had half a mind to offer a penny for her thoughts, but she didn’t have the nerve to break the natural ambiance. Astra, however, did.

“A while ago you wondered why I speak English around Misha.”

“You weren’t very forthcoming about it,” Alex said in a similar hushed tone. She continued her ministrations in easing Jeremiah to sleep. “I’ve come to understand why.”

“After his adoption, I was faced with many decisions regarding his wellbeing. How would I raise him? Who did I want around him? Which of my childhood experiences – if any – would I bring to his? Most importantly: would I tell him he is half-human? It scared the _der’mo_ out of me to think I had such influence on this little life. I had to choose what kind of a home I wanted him to grow up in and how he would see the world.

“Although Misha is Kryptonian," she went on, "to ignore his human heritage would be a betrayal. It took a while for me to accept his humanity. For so long I had been told of the human race’s inferior qualities. Not even my uncle could overthrow decades of indoctrination. But looking into Misha’s eyes, I did not find a trace of inferiority. Krypton’s grievous views disgusted me because I had been irrevocably changed. I took English lessons and began sharing in my son’s culture. There are no Earth documents I haven’t laid eyes upon. I learned all I could because I didn’t want him to feel alone or estranged from me. I wanted to know what it felt like to be him. Speaking English was our secret, something we could call our own and no one, not Alura or even Non could compare.”

Alex’s hand slumped from Jeremiah’s head and drew down his back. The affection on Astra’s face when she talked about him was overwhelming. She went to such great lengths to make him feel accepted. She gave him a beautiful home and surrounded him with love reserved for him alone. Those convictions were unbreakable and they were all to make Jeremiah happy.

“You learned English for him?” she asked, tears springing unbidden from their admiring wells.

The motion caught Astra’s eye and she went to take over. “Everything I do is for him,” she replied. She stroked her fingertips along his scalp and it earned her a heavy sigh. Her lips curled up and she repeated the action. “My previous attitude towards humans may seem contrary to how I have been speaking of them tonight. There are some beliefs I choose not to broadcast, not for fear of criticism but because they are close to my heart and I do not wish to share them with anyone but my son. And Misha is not the only one with powers of persuasion.”

Alex’s brows rose expectantly. She dared not speak or else embarrassment followed. Astra couldn’t possibly be suggesting what fluttered in Alex’s chest.

“To be honest, you inspired little interest upon arrival. If anything, your brash human ways overpowered my patience.” Astra inclined her head and said, “I may educate myself in humanity’s qualities but that doesn’t mean I have to like the lot of them. I had my suspicions, naturally. Who would trust a foreigner with no foreseeable connections and origins?”

Alex chuckled. “I guess it makes sense from a Kryptonian point of view.”

“Indeed.” Astra smirked at the victory. “When I saw you with him though, my perspective changed. I wondered what he found so appealing in you. So for his sake as well as my own curiosity I allowed the connection to develop. It was, in a way, selfish of me. I wanted you to teach me to understand him better.”

“I see.” Alex playfully narrowed her eyes. “My employment with the project was just a ruse.”

“You know as well as I that that is not true. I would not have allowed you so close to my research if I did not trust or welcome your insight.”

“Have I succeeded in granting what you wanted?”

For a moment, Astra became lost in Alex’s eyes. Her motions through Jeremiah’s hair stalled and, judging by her stillness, she was focusing all her senses on Alex. “What is that?”

Alex hoped her heart didn’t sound as vigorous as it felt thumping in her ribcage. “To understand him better.”

“Y-es,” Astra stuttered with a shake of her head. Her gaze darted to Alex’s chest before snapping up. “Yes, undoubtedly. It is one of many reasons I can’t bear to see you leave.”

A bevy of emotions broke the dam Alex worked hard to enforce. The instincts and urges and questions multiplied and swelled to such heights that made her head swim. “Why would I leave? What are the other reasons?”

Astra smiled around her blush. “I don’t fully comprehend why. I see in you something that goes beyond a resemblance to Misha. His pull towards you is beautiful and yet it is quite unlike my attraction to you.”

In the shy pause, Astra’s hand slid down to cover Alex’s. Their combined matter rose and fell to Jeremiah’s breaths and kept him from harm, protecting him together as it were. Astra exerted the gentlest pressure in askance. No hesitation dared intrude. Alex opened up and fell into the connection. She closed her eyes to appreciate the fingers sliding through hers. Drowning in the seamlessness of the act never felt so appealing. With care and the upmost consideration, Astra clasped their hands as one. So perfect. So natural. It was as if Earth survived and Alex had never left.

It did not mark their first measured embrace. This one resembled times past when their hands sought blindingly for each other in the plummeting transport and when Astra seized hers before parting from the cabin.

But there was something different this time around. The previous occasions were a sort of goodbye. In the stormy eye of uncertainty, their bodies demanded assurance when their voices could not speak for them. The gesture warming Jeremiah’s back was neither goodbye nor demand but a promise of constancy. They would always be there for him and, by extension, for each other. Jeremiah was the gravity that kept them within orbit. Nothing would separate them.

Alex’s heart seized at the thought of a world without them and she clung tighter to Astra, knowing beyond a shred of doubt that she could take it.

The long silence had Astra fumbling. “I… I haven’t been able to share this with anyone. You must know what it is like to have to hide the love you feel for your own child. I’m sorry you had to experience that. It has been so difficult not having anyone. I would do anything for him. I would renounce Rao himself all for my love of this boy.”

“You know, for someone who isn’t one for public displays of affection,” Alex rubbed her thumb with Astra’s, “you do have a way of showing it.”

Astra followed her gaze to their joined hands. Her breath caught as if the act had gone on without her knowing. She looked up for verification. “Do I?”

“Astra,” she pleaded, hoping to high hell she wasn’t misreading the signals, “may I please kiss you?”

Despite the apprehension clouding Astra’s face, she nodded.

With her free hand, Alex cupped the cheek she had seen in her dreams, unlikely to believe any of this was real. What business did this hand on this cheek have on a sterile planet? What warmth could overwhelm the coldness?

Yet the skin beneath her thumb felt as real as pure adrenaline. Alex watched it smooth along a cheek bone. She loved the sharpness of Astra’s features. Even the most beautiful of diamonds could cut. Astra was a double-edged sword in every sense of the word. She was elegance and nobility enforced with ramparts so leaden they kept her from seeing her own virtues. It didn’t even occur to Alex that she was thinking about two women. As far as she was concerned, they were one and the same.

As she drew closer, Astra’s worried brow persisted. The kiss landed on the corner of her mouth. Chaste and lingering a hairsbreadth away. Before she could ask, Astra touched her lips in a proper, seamless kiss. Alex felt the warmth spread out from her mouth and Astra’s flaming cheek and their joined hands atop Jeremiah’s back. The thrill was pure heat and it was everywhere. Where there was no trace of affection at first sight, they were now brimming over in it.

Astra’s hand settled gently to the side of her neck, unaware of how lost she was in Alex’s mouth. They kissed again, tentatively exploring the subtle angles and tilts that best fit them. Astra, so anxious yet guarded, awaited further direction at the edge of Alex’s parting lips. Someone had to employ patience for Alex was running out of the stuff. This was not like kissing Alura (as misguided an act as it was in comparison). Neither of them seemed to mind that their son lay sleeping between them. He could wake at a moment’s notice and they wouldn’t care. They’d spent too long hiding. They were family now and family did not keep secrets from one another.

Alex brushed their lips together one more time, just once more to prove it was real. Her racing heart knew it to be true. Her body thrummed in verification. Her mind, though, was not so fast in catching up. And when it did, the most unlikely of thoughts sprouted like a stubborn root. In a kiss which spanned merely a handful of seconds, it was almost as if Alex had her life back.

Astra receded in strange disquiet.

“What’s wrong?” Alex’s breath hitched at the end. She had forgotten how breathless kissing a Kryptonian could be.

Astra’s gaze dropped down to her mouth before returning. She swallowed, receding further. Their hands still remained clasped, albeit tighter than before. “Alexandra…” She could no longer face Alex. Hesitation pulled her towards the only person who could have given her confidence: Jeremiah. “I must ask you something. It has been on my mind for some time.”

A shudder of dread cascaded through Alex. “Okay.”

“When you accepted my offer of employment, I did not expect to be working so close with you. I was not thinking of Jeremiah, and I thought nothing of inviting you to work from my home. Perhaps, deep down, I wanted to see how he interacted with another human. It puzzled me at the time: why someone such as yourself would go above and beyond what is expected of them. You were hired to work at the laboratory, not at my residence.”

Alex shrugged. “I wasn’t about to say no to my boss. It would have reflected badly on my record.”

“That’s never stopped you before, though, has it? You are as obstinate as I and if working around a teething one-year-old did not suit you, I would have been informed of it. I did not understand your motivations until the day you revealed Misha’s origins.”

“Astra… that’s not –“

Astra stopped her with a raise of her hand. “I do not blame you. There are much more injurious crimes to be condemned in this world. Using me to get closer to your son is not one of them. I, myself, am guilty of the same. I did suspect, however…” Astra’s face scrunched as she evaluated at their conjoined hands, “if there was more to it than him.”

The admission caused Alex to pause. While it was true that she used Astra to get to know Jeremiah, wasn’t there hope that she could spark a connection with Astra? It seemed absurd to think this Astra might have feelings for her now or in the future. A kiss was just a kiss. Intimacy, however novel and thrilling, could be the fantastical product of imagination. The entire situation was strange. Alex wasn’t sure if she could just hit the restart button on her love life. But that didn’t really answer Astra’s implied question. Had some subconscious part of Alex gravitated toward Astra? Deep down, did she _want_ something to happen? Something beyond a flash in the pan romance? If Alex could desist from spontaneous kisses, longing gazes, and hand holding then she had her answer.

“You’re right,” Alex said. “He isn’t the only reason. It’s so much more complicated than I expected.” She shook her head, rubbing her forehead and feeling so helpless. “I thought I knew who I was. I thought I could be satisfied just being a mother.”

“We are of the same mind, then. We both have causes that are keeping us here, some of which are not quite as absolute as him.”

“I feel on shaky ground here. This might seem shocking to you, but I’ve never been here before.” Jeremiah’s sleepy murmur drew Alex's gaze down and, inevitably, to their hands. “I don’t want to let go, but if this is going to hurt him… or you… I can’t take the chance.”

Astra grinned. “Here I thought the human would know how to proceed.”

Despite how being called human irked Alex, she knew Astra meant it as an endearment. She could always tell by the tone of voice: borderline affectionate but enough aggrieving to show her valiant struggle. Smug, essentially.

Just when she thought Astra would let go and let all they had said and felt slip through their fingers, she squeezed. Desperation opened her expression so wide Alex could have swam into her eyes and felt about as much at home there as in the gray sea of her childhood.

“Misha is half-human,” Astra said quietly. “There is always the possibility that he will connect with you on a level I cannot reach. How can I compare to a human?”

Alex smiled. “You may be the only Kryptonian who has asked themselves that.”

She may not know her intentions any more than Astra knew hers, but the sense of a beginning was so tempting it could not be ignored, not when she had lost so much of her life to ill forces. Fate would not have its way with them, not this time. Alex exerted control over her life by cupping Astra’s face once again and pouring confidence into the brush of her thumb. If they were going to endeavor unfamiliar territory, Astra would need all the confidence at Alex’s disposal. She had to be strong as a woman of steel. For the both of them.

A wry smirk surfaced to Alex’s lips. “I’m not all that human when you get to know me.”

Astra’s cheek flamed beneath her hand. A tilt of head was all that was needed to press them seamlessly together. Whatever thoughts spinning in mind, Astra came to a conclusion that melted her gaze. “Whatever happens, we put him first.”

Alex squeezed the hand in return, fulfilling the promise of love and home no matter what.

* * *

It could have been late night or just before dawn. In any case, the cabin was pitch black when Alex came to. Jeremiah’s restlessness had woken her and mumbled a rather startling request.

So there she found herself, lumbering down the stairway in the dark and at risk of a stubbed toe or a tumble. When she reached the first floor she noted the extinguished hearth. The air was cold, even in her flannel pajamas. Her thick, wool-lined socks, thankfully, protected her feet as she shuffled along the wood flooring and stopped before the sofa.

Their sleeping arrangements had been decided by Astra who gave up the bed to her son and Alex. She took the couch despite Alex’s insistence that she would be perfectly suited downstairs. What a bleeding heart Kryptonian.

“Astra?”

The mound under the blanket remained as still as a rock. A mess of frizzy curls was the only evidence that a person lay underneath all those layers.

Alex cleared her throat of its thick coating of sleep. “ _Astra_.”

The rock lurched. A pale white hand pulled the blanket down just enough for a head to pop out. Whenever Astra thought she’d been waking, it was definitely not before dawn. A sullen moan slipped out.

Alex had to bite back amusement. Astra in any universe was a beast to wake.

Eyes still welded shut, Astra turned her head towards the sounds amplifying in her Kryptonian ears and the smells tickling her nose. She froze. Her eyes flew open to verify.

“Alexandra?” She struggled to sit up as her eyes examined Alex from head to toe. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” Feeling a stab of guilt at how troubled she’d made Astra, Alex tilted her head and said, “I’m sorry for waking you but Jeremiah is asking for you.”

Astra tossed her blankets off and rose immediately.

Alex led her up to the loft. The sheets were tousled from restlessness. Jeremiah sat waiting with his chin propped in his fists. He played naïve in silence.

Astra bent down to draw his bangs from his forehead. “What’s wrong, Misha?”

He finally perked up with a batting of his eyes. “Mama sleep here?”

“Can’t you sleep?”

“Laylee wants you too. She says so.”

Alex’s head snapped up and her mouth hung open like a fish. She shrugged for lack of any other response. When had she started talking in her sleep? Neither Kara nor her Astra on Earth mentioned it before.

Astra’s smile may have been obscured by the dark but the contented hum gave her away. “How can I refuse either of you?” She punctuated her words by scrunching her nose and brushing it with Jeremiah’s. She looked to Alex. “Unless you mind?”

Tinged with envy over the nuzzle, Alex shook her head.

“Alright then.” Astra nudged Jeremiah over so she could slip in beside him. “But no talking. Just sleeping. Understood?”

In perfect English, just as his human mother had taught him, Jeremiah cooed, “Oo-kaay.”

Alex broke out into a chuckle that would have snowballed into hearty laughter were it not for Astra’s glare. Going pink to the tips of her ears, she bowed her head and got into bed without a word.

The worn, well-loved bear in Jeremiah’s grip caught her attention. She watched as he put his prized possession above his head to create room for them. The gesture made her warm all over. There was not much that took the place of his Karhu in his heart. Alex felt grateful beyond words to be accepted into such a special place.

As the feeling continued to fill all her chilled spaces, she reached out to caress his cheek with the back of her finger. His eyelashes fluttered, so she grinned and kept up her efforts. Out of the corner of her eye, she felt a pair of luminous eyes watching. Instead of stopping her, they held soft and steady enough to encourage the act.

With Jeremiah between them, they fell into a deep sleep.


	8. On the Nature of Companions

Alex stood in the kitchen, elbows propped on the counter and nursing a mug of hot tea. Her eyes darted from the front door to the hallway leading to sleeping quarters. The sound of hammering came from afar.

Since Jeremiah had dashed past his crawling phase, he had developed a superior sense of balance and managed to get in and out of his bed without assistance. Currently, Astra was removing the rail on his bed and having an arduous time judging by the racket.

<Ouch! By _Rao_. >

“Mama?”

“Yes, I know. I swore. Don’t listen to me, dearest.”

“Oo-kaay.”

The corners of Alex’s mouth spread wide over her tea. She could imagine him sitting cross-legged on his bed and keeping an eye on the disassembly in progress. Leave it to Jeremiah to offer help with a point of a finger or a scrunching frown. Since he was a baby, he loved watching his moms work on his behalf.

She checked the time before tightening her grip. The warmth from her mug made her palms sweat all the more. She took in a breath and let it out with a rush.

The front entrance chimed to a visitor.

“Who is that?” came the holler from the bedroom.

Alex put down her tea and skipped off to the foyer. “I’ll get it!”

The doors rushed open upon command and there stood Alura. She nudged her head in and swept the place with a suspicious eye. “Are you sure this is wise?”

“Not really,” Alex admitted. “But you’re here now so…” She threw her thumb over her shoulder for Alura to follow. 

Just as they were entering the kitchen, Jeremiah came scurrying in. “’Lura!”

Alex was glad her gaze hadn't left Alura, otherwise she wouldn’t have caught the untainted joy on her face.

“Oh, Misha.” Alura, eyes gleaming over in sentiment, scooped him up into a hug. “It’s been so long.”

“I growed big and fast.”

Alura joined Alex in a chuckle and leaned back to take in his face. “I don’t doubt it. You are strong too – just like your mothers.” She caught herself, frozen, and looked past him for approval.

Smiling, Alex nodded. Jeremiah may not call her “mom” but he figured out early on who she was to him. It had been weeks since Alura had seen her nephew or sister, and there was only so much catching up she and Alex could do. Lately, life had been a whirlwind of activity.

“What is she doing here?”

A storm rushed in and cast out all traces of joy. Any hope Alex retained about the day became drenched in a rainstorm of outrage. The reunion, so promising a few seconds ago, was short lived.

Alura was rooted to the floor and holding both of her loves to the last – one with her arms and the other by her steadfast gaze. “Astra, I –“

“You need to leave.” Astra held her ground, arms hung loose at her sides and chin tucked in. None of it was necessary when she had a steely glare that nearly rivaled heat vision.

Just when Alura was making a move, Alex said, “No.” Astra’s glare landed on her and didn’t fade in intensity. Alex stole herself with a thrust back of her shoulders. “She’s staying.”

The tension thickened layer by layer. Sensing the impending argument, Alura’s hand rubbed Jeremiah’s back in a parting gesture before depositing him back to the floor. “I will take my leave.”

Astra’s eyes tightened. “ _Do_.”

“Astra, I invited her.”

The mask slipped. “What?” Astra’s voice lost its edge.

Alex held her ground. “I invited her.”

“This is why you didn’t want to go out today?” Astra frowned. “You said you were tired. That’s why I cancelled our outing to the ballet.”

The hurt in Astra’s voice didn’t make Alex feel at her best. She hated to go behind her back, but this was for her own good. Perhaps later down the road Astra would thank her for it. “This isn’t about me.”

Astra recovered with a clenching of her jaw. “I thought I made it clear to you that I do not want you interfering with my relationship with her.”

“This is my house, too,” she argued firmly. “I live here and I have the right to invite guests.”

Too flustered to argue with that, Astra gave out a huff. “Come, Misha.” She didn’t wait for acknowledgement. She picked him up and held him close. “We are going to the park,” she muttered in passing.

As angry as she was, she would not allow her temper to diminish their responsibilities. Neither of them would simply leave the house with Jeremiah without saying where they were going.

The timid expression on Jeremiah’s face broke Alex’s heart. She gave him an encouraging smile before Astra carried him out. The doors shut noiselessly behind them.

“I’m sorry,” Alura said. “If I had known this would cause trouble between the two of you, I would not have come.”

Alex emit a lengthy sigh and returned to the kitchen. “Astra will get over it.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Experience.”

Alura helped carry the tea tray while Alex grabbed an extra mug and joined her at the dinner table. Alura picked up a cookie from the spread and examined it closely. Whatever she expected, it did not appear to impress her. “Did you make these?”

“I’m trying.”

Alura hummed. She took the first bite and gave her appraisal by nibbling some more. Upon finishing the second, she brushed her fingers on a napkin and picked up her tea. She narrowed her eyes. “Have you and Astra been together long enough for… experience... to develop?”

Nonchalance set in with a shrug. “We’ve been spending time outside the lab. Jeremiah is a big part of that. He always wants to go to the toy story for more stuffed animals or play in the park, so we do those things together. Astra had plans for the two of us to go to this ballet concert later but I spoiled that. There’s also the cabin.”

“That’s right. How was your weekend away?”

“It was really nice to get out of the city. I can understand why you and Zor take Kara to the islands all the time. The commotion around here is nerve wracking. Cities on Krypton are not like they are on Earth. We stayed at the cabin three weeks ago and I already want to go back.”

“While I cannot claim to know what Earth cities are like,” Alura said, “I can say Argo City is less nerve wracking than Kandor. If Astra ever takes you there, do prepare yourself. It’s the heart and soul of Krypton, but by Rao all the buzzing gives me a headache.”

Alex smiled. Since meeting Alura, she’d come to acquaint herself with her genuine character and not the one pertaining to an A.I. hologram or the tales from another Krypton. The voice inflections and facial tics had grown on Alex. Some of them were unique to Alura while many resembled that of Kara’s and Astra’s. She watched the frustration at the mention of city bustle eventually smooth in Alura’s forehead.

Alura’s hands wrapped around her tea and lifted it with ease. “Have you become friends with Astra?” she asked, pursing her lips around the rim of her mug.

Even though she thought Alura wouldn’t press the issue, sisters had a way of getting into each other's business. It caused Alex to pause.

“Things between Astra and I…” She dragged off with a nibble to her lip and began again. “She wouldn’t want me telling you, so I’ll spare the details. We’ve become close. Maybe more than friends. There are moments when it feels so right, like the time and the place and the two of us are just as it should be. Other times… Well, you know how I’m sure she’ll get over my inviting you? We’ve had our share of arguments which include everything under Rao from who burnt breakfast to what school we’re going to send Jeremiah to. But there’s too much at stake to let things fall apart. We try even when it seems impossible. Even when she’s being an _insufferable_ _nag_.” 

“That is my sister,” Alura remarked amusingly. “And do not worry. I will not ask after the details.”

Alex blushed. There were numerous details she would rather not share: the hand holding, the extended gazes across the dinner table, the abundant kisses they’d shared which were becoming routine when the team went home after a work day and left them to their devices. There was also that one time Alex fell asleep during a late night movie and woke the next morning tucked snug in her bed. That she kept extra close to her vest and over her heart.

“Anyway,” she sighed, rotating her mug this way and that, “things are good. Even when they’re not, I can rest assured that she’ll always be here when I come home.” Alex smiled softly and propped her cheek in her hand. “Home.”

Alura watched her closely, a gentle smile spreading on her lips. “You are smitten, Alexandra.”

“What?” Alex blinked. “No way. I haven’t been… _smote_ …. in the least. I assure you.”

“If you are suggesting that Astra has not dealt a heavy blow to you than I am sincerely glad.”

“Listen, I like Astra. I do. I… I care very much about her. This is – _stop_ smiling, Alura. What you’re insinuating isn’t… it’s not possible. I’ve experienced love before and it’s not inclined to come around twice in one lifetime. I can’t have those feelings for her.”

“Not from where I’m sitting.”

“Oh my god, you sound exactly like Astra. So sweet but smug.” She rolled her eyes and took a sip from her tea. “Just wait until Kara comes of age. It won’t be so funny when she’s making puppy eyes at some suitor.”

“Suitor.” Alura feigned indifference with a puff of air. “Please. Kara will always be my angel. Just as Jeremiah will be yours.”

“I’ll give you that. I shudder to think how Astra would react to his bringing home a date. Rao help that poor child.”

Alura chuckled. “Look at you. Taking the supreme god’s name in vain. Astra’s influence, no doubt.”

“Who else?” Alex reached for a cookie and placed it on her napkin. Pensive, she fingered the edges, breaking off morsels and grinding them to powder. Soon, her thoughts led to a curiosity. She turned to Alura more directly and said, “After that little interrogation, I think I deserve to ask a question in return.”

“Yes?”

Her cheeks ached from concealing her amusement. “How have things been between you and Zor?”

A coy grin surfaced to Alura’s lips. “Oh, that.” She picked at a crumb on the table and rolled it between thumb and forefinger. “Yes, well, we did have a night away to ourselves a few days ago.”

“Hm.” Alex narrowed her eyes and made slow work of raising her mug to her lips. “Kara didn’t tag along this time, did she?”

Though her blush was answer enough, Alura felt the need to state the obvious. “Zor and I have been spending more time together.”

Alex grinned. “Does she know?”

“Kara is very observant. What do you think?”

They both enjoyed a chuckle at that.

At a break in conversation, Alex seized the time to take in the apartment. Its bareness haunted her and reminded her of who should be there in her place, eating her cookies and drinking her tea. She was so disappointed in herself. Failing to keep Astra around dealt a blow to her morale.

“I feel responsible for the rift between you and Astra.”

Alura tilted her head in sympathy. “That rift was there before you and Misha ever came to Krypton. There is nothing to apologize for. This was bound to happen.” She shook her head and looked down upon her wringing hands. “You did what I could not. You told the truth and that was very brave.”

Alex stared at her finger as it scratched absently at the table cloth. She gave out a weighty sigh and said, “Why did I think tea and cookies would be enough to mend things? I’m acting like what’s between you is nothing more than a petty spat. It runs so much deeper than that.”

Alura stared a moment before sliding her mug aside. She laid her hand atop the anxious one making invisible whirls in the tablecloth. “You are trying, Alexandra. For me and for her. I could not ask for anything more. However, I do request that you try harder to find the right cookie recipe.”

“Why? You don’t like them?”

“Your ratio of savory to sweet is a bit… imbalanced.”

Alex frowned, taking a moment to second guess her culinary skills amid the silence. The seconds ticked on until they burst into laughter. The cookies remained thenceforth untouched.

* * *

It all started with an innocent request. They both should have anticipated where it would lead them. It wasn’t as if they were strangers to these little intermissions. A hum drum day at the lab, slaving over the stove, taking turns putting Jeremiah to bed all necessitated a departure from routine.

That night Alex called upon diversion with an appeal for something sweet. Jeremiah had gone to sleep an hour ago, allowing her and Astra to relax on the sofa with a movie. They had been sitting in comfortable silence until Alex’s sweet tooth got the best of her. When Astra left to fetch them something from the kitchen, she followed after. Her plan fell into place wonderfully. Neither of them were paying attention to the movie anyway.

Alex’s hunger led them to the kitchen and her hunger was what kept them there. They stood like common, law-abiding citizens in uniform, save for the comfy socks and little to no understanding of personal space. A soft drone came from the cooling unit and provided oblivious background noise to the lip smacking and heavy panting.

Their dim surroundings didn’t bother them. Light from the living room provided a soothing ambiance to their impromptu congregation against the kitchen sink (which would have proceeded to _on_ the kitchen counter if Alex had the lifting strength). Astra, though, didn’t seem to mind. Not a single complaint uttered from the lips planted to Alex.

Alex was pressed up against Astra, everything touching so deliciously from quivering thighs to heaving chests. Astra had a grip on her shoulders that invited more than promised. It started that way in reflexive surprise before launching into the depths of her hair. The fingers running along her scalp and the thumb circling below her ear drove Alex wild. Still, powers of speech intact, she did have some foreplay to introduce.

“You forgive and forget easily,” she said. “My plot to push you and Alura together occurred only last week.” She bent to Astra’s ear, running her smile along the delicate curves before whispering, “I thought you’d stew longer.” The body shivering against her made her smile wider.

Astra tightened her grip in response. “I have mentioned before that you are persuasive. It does not benefit me, however, to repeat it.”

“Why?” Alex receded with a giggle. “Because you fear I’ll take advantage?”

“Oh, but you already have. I’ll have you know I was not supposed to spend my night bent over the kitchen sink.”

Alex gripped the counter, trapping Astra like succulent quarry. Ever so slyly, so as not to startle, she inched forward, grin growing wider. “I don’t sense an actual complaint in there.”

A deep chuckle rolled forth. Astra stopped her progress by taking her chin and baring her throat. She descended upon Alex in dedicated pecks and such decency deemed acceptable by courtly standards.

To have the tables turned so swiftly did not support Alex’s persuasive talents. It hardly meant failure however. Nothing felt more pleasurable than being a subject of Astra’s research. She never bit or sucked too hard, dug too deep, or pushed her further than a startled moan. The restraint employed was touching but more calculated than necessary. Astra always thought things through a bit too much. Her brain never shut down and, for that, Alex had a remedy.

With eyes held shut, she searched blindly for the hem of Astra’s uniform. She slowly tugged it up until her fingertips met flesh. The taught muscles jumped to her touch and Astra pulled back with a gasp. For as sharply toned and biologically perfect as this Kryptonian, she could still be caught unaware. Alex seized the opportunity to catch her mouth in a lazy, mind melting kiss. Astra sagged like putty in her hands and moaned in content. Alex bit back her amusement. Easy as loading a Colt Model 933, blind and under duress. She delivered the final assault by sinking into the soft flesh of a bottom lip.

Astra shuddered upon exhale, her warm breath washing over Alex. The fingertips pressed so deliberately into her scalp it caused Alex to clench harder. She didn’t let go until a coppery tang met her tongue.

Alex always liked leaving marks on Astra, for one because it prompted the most intimate of moans and for another because they healed faster than if left on the human body. The last thing she ever wanted was for Astra to pick up more scars. They could enjoy the pleasure and pain without the evidence come the following day. This Astra, apparently, felt the same.

Soon the hands scraping through her hair found purchase in polyester. Astra grabbed toughs of Alex’s shirt and wrenched it up. The cool breeze washing her back was soon replaced with two very warm, perspiring hands of a novice.

Alex showed her contentment with a chaste kiss to Astra’s lips. Spotting the lingering tinge of red, she stole another and left with an affection sweep of her tongue. As she did so, the hands at her back began kneading. The tingling sensation rushed up Alex’s spine and had her back arching.

“You catch on quick,” she said, going back in for a brief kiss. “And we’ve never done this standing up.”

Astra paused in her kneading. Her hands acted as armor coated to Alex’s back. Her gaze leapt from one eye to the other and dropped to her mouth in a never-ending triangle of uncertainty. “Is this not how it is done? Standing up?”

Alex chuckled. Even though she knew it wouldn’t erase the doubt, she kissed Astra anyway. She came away, eyes bright in amusement. “There’s no right way. It can be done in any manner as long as it’s consenting to both partners.” Astra’s mask had yet to melt away. It was her usual unreadable mask cast on when she faced untried territory. The fact that it was still there caused Alex to pause. She raised her brows and asked tentatively, “Do you want to go back to the couch? Or we could finish the movie if you’d rather.”

Astra nearly choked on the intake of breath. The “no” caught at the back of her throat as she practically tipped Alex over in her exuberance. Her hands returned to their warming attentions to Alex’s back and their mouths clashed audibly amid the droning refrigerator.

Alex moaned in satisfaction. Close quarters became closer and closer to the point where breathing seemed inconsequential. The thick material of their uniforms could not keep out the rounded quality of Astra’s breasts. They pressed against hers, suffocating innocence and boundaries. Words had no business coming between them. Astra was a fast learner after all and could let her body speak for her. And if Alex understood the language, it was shouting _By Rao, no couch! Stay here!_

There were so many questions Alex wanted to ask her. She thought she would explode if she didn’t get them out of her system. Questions were her only thoughts and questions were what multiplied the further they crossed over the line between friends and what-is-this-now? _Why are you so hot? Does this zipper really need to be here?_ _You sure you don’t want to take this someplace else?_ _God, why are you even interested in me?_ And then there was the the only-awkward-when-sober pick up line of _Are you as wet as I am?_

As burning as her curiosity, all her muddled brain could come up with was, "Is this okay?"

“Yes,” Astra managed. Her breath came in puffs against Alex’s cheek. She paved a thoughtful trail of kisses down to her jaw and meandered down to impressionable terrain. Her hands came around to meet at the front of Alex’s uniform. She paused, fingers gripping the zipper. A tremble prompted the first few teeth to unravel. “May I?”

“Yeah.” Alex smiled and brought her hand up to palm the crimson cheek. “You’re fine.”

The sound of that zipper clicking would forever be associated with Astra’s lips for they were the next thing to come. Astra stopped mid-sternum, just above her breast, and peeled the hem over a shoulder. Alex gasped. She didn’t know what would come and closing her eyes seemed the most sensible thing to do in the moment. It heightened every sensation, allowing the next touch to raise her flesh.

Astra’s hand descended on her shoulder and ran up and over, exploring beneath the constricting uniform, the length of her shoulder blade, and coming up to grasp the back of her neck. If Alex had been paying attention, she would have realized how wantonly her body was surrendering. Her back arched, pushing Astra further into the counter. The blunt edge hardly pulling a grimace amid Astra’s lavishing. Alex really hoped she didn’t get cold feet because this was just too good for words.

Hot breath met exposed flesh. A thrilling sensation not unlike arousal shot through Alex. She shook from the tips of her fingers to the depth of her heart. The lips pressing to her shoulder were impossibly soft. They asked nothing of her except pleasure and maybe a little encouragement, which she offered in shocking immodesty. The moan sounded unfamiliar to her ears and threw off her balance. She gripped Astra’s hips for support and became swept up by the current.

Even amid nervous tremors, the whole act soothed her inside and out. Astra’s hands and mouth cascaded over her like a midnight tide, slinking forward in want for more territory but always receding to allow reprieve. Again and again Astra swept over her skin while tremulous nature kept her Kryptonian strength in check. So thoughtful. So gentle. Naïve in a refreshing sense. The fumbles were endearing. Her questions were welcome. Alex had been here before after all, trembling over her first time with naïveté.

Astra moved to the juncture between neck and shoulder. Her lips roved in aimless whirls before committing in a kiss. The feeling of a tongue had Alex choking back a gasp. Her fingers dug into Astra’s waist, prompting her to suck harder. And when she did, Alex let out an anguished cry. A delicious ache sprung from between her legs, sending her hips leaping forward. She ground in haste as Astra resumed higher.

In the midst of their concert of pants and mouthing sucks, a voice snuck in.

"Mama... Laylee..."

Alex nearly had a heart attack. Sense thunked back into her skull like a ton of bricks and she leapt back even as Astra tugged her forward. Were it not for Kryptonian reflexes, Alex would still be lumbering with the zipper on her uniform. A sharp clicking signaled that she was good to go. Of course, their hearts wouldn’t be beating out of their ribcages if Astra had heeded her superior hearing. A lesson in multitasking was in order later.

Jeremiah was fisting the sleep from his eyes. He hadn’t seen anything. Hopefully.

“What’s the matter?” Alex rushed to him and stooped down to take his hands. They were warm from being stuffed under his pillow. He had gotten his stomach sleeping habit from her. “Can’t sleep?”

“Thirsty.”

“Okay, let me just –“ A small gust of wind cut her off and followed with the appearance of a glass of water. Alex took it, not having to turn around to verify Astra’s wide-eyed prompting. “Here you go.”

He took a sip, handed it back, and grinned in thanks.

“Seriously?” she muttered. She rolled her eyes and turned him around, giving him a little nudge. “Back to bed. Come on.”

She followed his trudging pace down the hall and into his bedroom. The corner of his blanket was touching the floor so she picked it up and redressed the covers.

When Jeremiah was all tucked in, he looked like hell warmed over. It wouldn’t take much before sleep overcame him.

Breath catching over his yawn, he mumbled a sleepy, “Night-night.”

Alex smiled and kissed his forehead and the cheek peeking above the covers. “Sleep tight.”

By the time she entered the living room, Astra had moved to the sofa. Her legs were tucked underneath her and her arm settled along the back of the couch. It was still early enough. Perhaps she wanted to finish the movie instead.

“Waiting patiently as always.”

The hand halted in a tangle of curls. “He’s already asleep, isn’t he?”

Alex dropped down next to her in an unladlylike slouch. “You tell me,” she said, head rolling lazily to face the response.

Without warning, Astra took her cheek and planted a searing kiss to her mouth.

When the air finally rushed back into Alex’s lungs, she struggled to bring herself down to solid ground. “So I guess we’re not finishing the movie?”

The impulsiveness from the previous kiss ignited a heat in Astra’s eyes. Her cheeks were already ablaze and, for some reason inexplicable to science, her breathing was coming heavily. She answered by diving in again.

The kiss muffled Alex’s squeak of surprise. She couldn’t keep up with the sensations. Hands were running up her skin and disregarding barriers of clothing. Astra’s tongue was sliding along her lips and parting them ever so gently even as Alex heard the tear running up her shirt.

The moment Astra’s tongue touched hers, everything around them exploded in a puff of insignificance. Alex allowed it, participated even in a few gentle strokes if only to encourage those sparks popping along her skin (or were those Astra’s hands?).

Against her raging hormones, she pushed Astra back with a regretful moan. “Wait,” she gasped, straining under heavy lids, “we… just… I…”

The chuckle rang in Alex’s ears and transformed into a sly, “Yes?”

When Alex finally pried open her eyes all she saw were rose-colored lips. She didn’t have a prayer. Any trace of resolve slipped in the time it took her to close the distance.

Astra stopped her progress. “You had something to say?”

As much as it frustrated her, she receded. “Right. Yeah.”

“I’m sorry I tore your shirt.”

“I’ll get another one. It was worth it, anyway.”

A weight of insecurity lowered Astra’s shoulders. “Was it?”

“You are very good with your hands.”

“Am I?”

Alex jabbed her shoulder playfully. “Stop testing me. You know how you make me feel.”

Astra tasted her bottom lip where it confronted earnest teeth earlier. “Mm, your heart is beating at a brisk pace.”

“That’s the understatement of the year. Crap,” she pressed her fist to her forehead, “I have to stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Flirting with you when I need to talk about something important.”

Astra righted her head so it wasn’t cocked like a golden retriever pleading for a bone. She even went as far as sliding back to give them more breathing room. She grinned, knowing her efforts would get her a treat anyway. “You were saying?”

“Thank you.” Alex sighed and spanned the distance to squeeze Astra’s hand. “I don’t really know how to start. As much as I want to continue what we were just doing – ripping off clothes and all – there are things we should discuss. This isn’t easy. It just seems like we don’t know much about each other's expectations. It might help if I understood you... in… that… way.”

Astra’s eyebrows came down as she pieced out the objective. “You wish to inquire after my sexual experience?”

“Wow, okay. You don’t mince words. Yes, that’s what I’m trying to get at. Only if you’re comfortable talking about this, of course. This is really new for you and –“

“Not exactly new, no,” Astra remarked. The casualty in her voice and bearing prompted Alex’s nervous nodding. “I have had one sexual partner. Non.”

“Ex-husband, right.” Alex cleared her throat and scratched the prickling heat at the back of her neck. “Does that happen often? Not between you two necessarily. With couples in general.”

Astra propped her arm on the back of the couch and trailed her fingers into her hair. She spoke pensively yet dispassionately as if recalling an item she bought at the market years ago. “To my understanding, intimacy is a trivial act undertaken by young, inquisitive newlyweds. Non and I tried in the first year of our marriage but nothing came of it. It had been my idea in the first place and the fact that he was conceding out of reluctance banished the thrill. I did not make the suggestion out of a sense of curiosity but because I wanted to separate myself from standard practice. The act was not as rebellious as I’d hoped.”

Alex’s lip twitched. She would have snarled something possessive but the image of Non and Astra twisted up in sheets and limbs made her recoil. “I can’t imagine.”

“Nothing memorable, I can assure you.” Her hand turned up under Alex’s to grasp her fingers. She gazed upon them with fondness. “It’s not typical conversation as I’m sure you’ve gathered. There is gossip, of course. Some couples engage contentedly in sex while others dismiss it entirely. Generally, it is not spoken of because it is not necessary. Our birthing matrix technology removes the need for copulation. Companionship is measured solely by loyalty. A couple will attend theatre and other such events, cook together, raise their family, and travel. That is the extent of their relationship.”

It was strange to hear about sex and intimacy in such a technical manner. Then again, this was Astra talking. Science took up 90% of her brain’s activity. If she was at all nervous, two hundred years of discipline concealed it.

Alex wiggled her fingers through Astra’s and looked down pointedly. “So this doesn’t bother you?”

Astra considered it for a moment. “It was unusual, at first. Gestures like this are something to grow into. I do like being able to express myself in such a way. Speech does not always cooperate.” She tilted her head. “You make me very comfortable, Alexandra.”

The suspense had been killing her. Alex released her death grip on it and let out a breath she had been holding since they shared their first kiss. In her relief, she came to a startling realization. “This is comfortable for me, too.” She added with a chuckle, “Especially now that I know how you feel on the matter.”

“Have I not disappointed you? Being with someone else?”

“Of course not, Astra. Don’t think that. I mean, I’ve had lovers back on Earth, so if anyone should be disappointed –“

“Tell me,” Astra interrupted softly. Her eyes brightened in curiosity. “If it pleases you.”

“It’s only fair. You’re being so trusting with your experience.”

“This is not a compromise.  We are sharing some very sensitive pieces of our history. I do not want you to feel obligated to speak of a painful memory.”

Alex’s hand came up to trail through her hair. There was no amount of hedging that could avoid the subject further. It would be unfair to Astra.

“You need to know about my past,” she said, locking onto Astra with a purposeful gaze. “When I lived on Earth, before I met my Astra, romance was not a huge aspect of my life. I worked constantly, mostly because I enjoyed it and it was the perfect routine to fit my lifestyle. I liked routine. Change didn’t suit me. Kara was the only person that I allowed myself to have feelings for. Even in that respect it was strictly platonic. Obviously. Then I met Astra. We circled each other for months before we fought and… I killed her.” Alex’s nails bit into her scalp, hard enough to stem an impulse. “A year later she came back and brought so much change into my life my head was spinning.”

“Yes, you mentioned your collaboration in researching her new powers. The attachment caused a bit of strife between you and Kara.”

Alex nodded. She’d told her everything. Everything but the details that mattered. “What I didn’t tell you was that my relationship with Astra, when it began, it was new for both of us. She was the first woman I’d been with.”

“Intimately,” Astra gathered. At Alex’s nod, she scrutinized the changes in her expression. ”She didn’t know, did she?”

Alex closed her eyes and turned into her hand. It could have been so much easier if Astra didn’t have her eyes or her mouth or that inquisitive frown on her gorgeous face. If she resembled anyone else, there would have been no need to tell the truth.

“I never told her and it was wrong of me considering everything she’d been through. She was fragile in the strongest of ways, so unwilling to reveal her struggles. I just wanted to be able to take care of her for a change. I realize letting her think she was the only one with doubts wasn’t fair to her, but I just…” Alex risked a look from behind her hand and was met with patience and kindness. It was as familiar to her as an old lover accompanied by nuances she was only just discovering. “We didn’t talk about this stuff. There wasn’t much time for it. We were just so…”

“In love.”

Alex’s heart broke at the sight. She didn’t expect her efforts to work. Since seeing Astra with Jeremiah, some part of her thought she had a chance, however slim, and she went after it without regard for the consequences. Cohabitating with Alura and her family, accepting the assistantship, and working so closely with Astra hadn’t been decisions made solely with her son in mind. It couldn’t have been when the obstacles were paltry in comparison. She might be human and Astra might have been married to Non at the time, but Alex had traveled thousands of lightyears in a reconditioned pod to get there. The margin between impossibility and possibility had narrowed with every step forward she took on Krypton. If she could breathe on this planet, finding Astra again seemed within the realm of probability. And now that she had, what more stood in her way?

Being on a different Krypton with a different Astra should have discouraged her. As she told Alura, love had already found her before and it wasn’t likely to come around a second time. But she hoped. God, had she hoped.

Now what had she done but speak of her passion for another woman? Another Astra. Alex’s inability to respond was confirmation enough. Now this Astra was looking away, almost as if to punish herself for believing in the unattainable.

“Astra.” The name came croaking from Alex’s throat. She wished she could have instilled it with confidence but the anticipation killed it before it could manifest. “Please look at me.”

“It is not as you think.” Astra looked back, hand still noticeably firm in Alex’s. “Thank you for telling me. Am I to take this as an appeal to end the encounters we have been engaging in?”

Alex’s body nearly seized in disagreement. “No,” she affirmed breathlessly, “that’s not why I said those things. I like what we have and where this is going but not if there is this dissonance between us. If you’re confused about this, about me, then maybe this isn’t the right path for us.”

“There is no dissonance.” Astra's gaze remained unshaken. “I am not confused. This is where I want to be – here, with you and Misha. There are some things about this galaxy that baffle me into long hours spent over a microscope, but I am certain about this.”

She caressed the back of Alex’s hand. It could have gone on forever, the thumb working in soothing circles and lulling them both into a dream of hope and security. Nothing felt more appropriate in their home. Nothing could deter it, not even the taboos of Kryptonian culture.

“You are scared,” Astra continued, “and still grieving the loss of your planet and your family. While I cannot imagine what it feels like to be the last of my kind, I do know isolation. When sharing my past regarding Non, I came to the realization that it never was a marriage. In all its absence of friendship and affection, it never occurred to me until Misha came into my life. Posed with our fears and your unthinkable losses, I cannot conceive of a better solution than for us to begin again, together. You are my family Alexandra, whether this goes beyond friendship or not. Never forget that.”

Despite how mundane holding hands was on Earth, Alex had developed a soft spot for the gesture. Nodding in agreement, she held Astra, secure in the fact that whatever threats came their way would be faced together.

* * *

The subject of their future did not arise for some time. The days passed with every setting sun and grew seemingly brighter at the peak of every dawn. By the time Argo’s summer had phased into its mildly cold season, a routine had been established.

Astra, the early riser, left the house before anyone could pry an eye open. The lab was at its quietest at dawn and she got most of her work done before her colleagues filtered in. Alex spent her mornings throwing together breakfast for Jeremiah, watching cartoons, and dropping him off at Oda’s. Then there was work, lunch out with the team, wrapping up daily tasks, a stop at the market, and last minute errands before Astra brought their son home. Their night consisted of feeding as much English and Kryptonese into Jeremiah’s diet as they could vegetables. He was learning a great deal at an early age; Alex sometimes forgot he had Kryptonian genes. By the end of story time he was fast asleep in his new ‘big boy’ bed, which led to much sought after recuperation for his mothers. They typically spent their time reading or watching holoprograms. Other times their attentions were devoted to each other.

It took a month to fall into this routine and so far nothing had yet to threaten the world they had created together. It was almost as if the question of commitment had already been answered. Their relationship was constantly evolving with every boundary crossed. Where they kept a low profile at work, at home professional pretenses were shucked off with hip squeezes, intentional brush pasts, and kisses – sometimes in front of their son, other times after story time, in the living room with the television’s volume turned up, against someone’s bedroom door, or the ever popular kitchen counter.

With Jeremiah in the mix, they couldn’t risk making errors in judgment and yet they shied from walking on eggshells. The physical aspect of their relationship did not progress so much in a head-long dive as it did dip their toes in to check the temperature.

They evolved in their own right, too. Alex had started to see the futility of survivor’s guilt and was establishing her own value amongst her peers. Although being human on Krypton did not provide many opportunities, a career-driven woman such as herself was not slowed down by the opinions of others. She could prove humanity’s worth through her work with the project. For a human to raise themselves to the Kryptonian standard may not change the mentality of an entire civilization, but it ventured to attract positive attention.

And Astra, she was learning what it meant to be one half of an equal partnership. Many aspects were completely new to her. Alex got the sense that she provoked astonishment from Astra when she did things behind the scenes. They were not grand gestures but small blink-and-you-missed-it undertakings like replacing the vase of wilting flowers in the foyer or laundering the blanket right after dinner so that it warmed their laps when they read.

Small favors were commonplace to Alex, yet for Astra they were taken with an ounce of suspicion as if she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Non obviously never took the time for small favors and it angered her that Astra was just now finding out how extraordinary a fresh bouquet of flowers could be and how simply a smile at the end of an arduous work day could brighten a room.

The favors were hints. When it came to matters of romance, Alex struggled to translate her thoughts into one smooth, articulate confession. She wasn’t an extrovert who could schmooze her way through a pick-up line. She couldn’t write a sonnet for fear that Shakespeare might pose misunderstanding (for on Earth, one Kryptonian had mistaken traps and arrows for an assassination contract). Contrary to Astra’s belief, Alex couldn’t persuade a cat out of a bag. All she had were flowers in a vase and a furious heart.

One night amid routine, a pair of Kryptonian ears perceived the beats of one such heart. Alex sat straddled on Astra’s lap, fingers in her hair and heedless to personal space. She paid no attention to the midnight hour even though they had an early start the next day; Friday, the team’s crucial touch base before the weekend.

Alex was already so lost in the kiss she forgot how they got there. Shameless enthusiasm was building deep in her belly and it would no longer answer to her own labors. Trials had been met with sighs of frustration and a head-butt into the pillow. Currently, the pattern of nips and pulls to her earlobe threw her so far into toe-curling delight, all previous nuisances vanished like an eyelash dusted by the wind.

“Exploring the gradations of chemistry have never felt so stimulating.” Astra kissed down Alex’s neck to suck lightly in the dip above her clavicle. “I’m inspired beyond words.”

An exquisite sensation radiated where Astra’s tongue met skin. It reminded Alex of the damp heat of Midvale’s summers. Unlike occasions when the sun dried off evidence of briny surf, this was the kind of heat that made a lasting impression.

Astra’s tongue was replaced with a nip to her collarbone. The unexpectedness made Alex gasp sharply and tumble forth into a moan. The lips on her neck stretched into a smirk and kissed the indentations already starting to fade.

Against her will, Alex’s hips began to grind. The sudden pressure provoked a fusion of sighs which became muffled by an open-mouthed kiss. Even in the climb, they had yet to find a peak, and despite the constraints of interruptions (a spontaneous beverage run for Jeremiah, helping a coworker search for their mislaid keys) or clothing (Alex _really_ hated that zipper), there was an endless supply of pleasure waiting to be explored.

“You are not going to doze off on me,” Astra murmured between pecks, “are you?”

Alex huffed indignantly. “That was one time.” The attention Astra was giving her was too good to break away. She would have given her a piece of her mind, but not at the expense of pouring cold water on present activities. Alex wasn’t one for sabotaging her own pleasure.

She sought Astra’s undivided attention by taking fist-fulls of her hair and pulling her head back. “And my body does not recover as fast as yours. Humans need their slow-wave sleep.” She pressed their foreheads together and rocked against Astra to sate the ache between her legs. “I need…” She sighed long and hard. The lids of her eyes fell shut. “I need delta brain waves.” Astra’s hands slid down to take her by the hips. “High frequency… stage four… delta waves.” Her thighs trembled around a slick flowing heat. “And melatonin,” she burst against parted lips before sucking the lower into her mouth and letting it go with a pop. The light bulb moment hissed like electricity through her veins. “Oh, _god_ , I need lots of melatonin.”

From beyond the concentrated depths of her pleasure came a voice. It uttered from afar but whispered anxiously into her ear. “Do you dream of me?”

Alex nearly sobbed out in answer. She gripped Astra’s smooth, immaculate locks and wrought her brow in anguish. “All the time.”

Lips were placed to her ear and trailed along its curve. Alex’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling as shivers swept through her body. Why had it taken them so long to get here? They could have been doing this weeks ago if it weren’t for her hedging.

A chuckle rolled low in Astra’s chest. Alex closed her eyes. She could gladly get lost in the sound. Even at her own expense. God, she was so screwed. She planted her mouth on Astra’s with such exuberance that provoked a muffled “oomph!” of surprise.

As she resumed her grinding, the hands on her hips began to work their way under her shirt. Fully spread fingers slid up her back. The tips pressed in at the height of her reach before dashing down to seize her hips again. Alex’s yelp was stifled by lips.

Astra drew back at once. “Are you alright?”

Alex nodded breathlessly and cut off any further inquiries. The kiss deepened as she asserted a tongue and rocked harder against Astra. Fingers dug into the material encasing her hips. The polyester protected her on the coldest days but it was no match for a Kryptonian’s grip. And if it was, Astra would have seen fit to tear it off (with Alex’s expressed permission). The maddening ache spurred her to such thoughtless motions, she lost track of everything but the need to come – and _soon_.

Suddenly, the kneading warmth of hands stopped. Astra withdrew, head dipped as if in disgrace.

The hesitation stiffening the body beneath her concerned Alex. “What is it?” she asked, taking Astra’s cheek in hand. Some dusky intention flashed behind those eyes. Something that told Alex she was not about to simply stand by and watch her unravel.

“Nothing. I…” Astra swallowed, her eyes meeting Alex. “I long to fulfill you.”

“You mean –“

“Yes.” Astra’s fingers flexed instinctively. The blood rushed to her cheeks.

Whatever Alex expected, it was not _that_. “O-oh,” she stammered.

She was reminded of how imbalanced their experiences were in this area. Although they had talked about it, they never got as far as considering what would transpire after sharing a bed. New couples were not always on the same page when it came to their expectations and feelings, especially when it came to the first night.

Alex was a bit floored not only by the articulation of that word but the gallantry. For however long Astra had been waiting to experience ventures formerly ignorant of, she was putting Alex’s desires before her own. Alex wasn’t sure how to respond. If they were going to have sex, she didn’t want it to be for a good time. Damn her own pleasure and her previous failed attempts. It had been too long since she’d had Astra this close and she wanted to make love to her.

Her frustrations, however, had reached their limit. Astra was offering and she didn’t give the impression that her goodwill would hold out for long.

Alex frowned and shook her head despite the absentminded rocking of her hips. “Maybe we shouldn’t. I mean… I don’t want to make you feel like you have to.”

“You pupils are dilated and your heart is racing. This is not the time for modesty.”

Alex dropped her gaze to Astra’s parted lips. “Okay.” Her answer rushed out upon exhale as she clashed their mouths together.

Her shirt parted at the buttons. She didn’t remember them being unfastened. The fog obscuring her thoughts only let one slip and that was to thank god for Kryptonian speed. Already at home beneath the cottony material, Astra slid up her stomach to cup a breast. Alex tilted her head back, sighing in relief and pushing up into the cradling palm. Astra was getting so good at this. Her hands were so attentive and went exactly where they were needed. She could be gentle sometimes, while on other occasions her grip tightened and her tongue lashed. They had done this before, all at the behest of preparation.

It had become habit for Alex to divest the constricting piece every night. It felt like a huge step forward to be able to relax with Astra in such comfortable fashion even if they weren’t fooling around. The humility with which Astra pillowed her head on Alex’s chest and dozed off to the sound of her heartbeat added another layer to their intimacy. It was so exquisitely uncomplicated to lay there, silent as the night folding in around them.

But sometimes they liked to complicate the hell out of things. The thumb flicking her nipple retreated in circles and sent Alex spiraling into a black hole of pleasure. Before she could prepare herself, her other breast was taken in similar fashion, kneading softly in greeting before running over her peak. The graze was so unexpected she collapsed onto Astra’s mouth with a whimper.

Astra understood. A sigh escaped when she abandoned Alex’s breasts, but her remorse was soon replaced by enthusiasm. She seized the waistband of Alex’s trousers, blindly unfastening them with one hand while the other found purchase at the small of her back. The second Alex felt fingertips on her stomach, she pitched forward and braced her hand against the back of the sofa. She kept her other hand clutched to Astra’s shoulder for added support. God, it felt so good to have her this close. Alex was dizzy and she’d hardly been touched below the navel.

As confining as the trousers were, Astra managed to find entrance. She prompted Alex forward with a press to her back and slid in. Where before Astra proceeded with all the nimbleness of an expert, now she hesitated. They’d never been here before. A line like Alex’s waistband had never been crossed because they’d been content to pleasure each other in less explicit ways. 

Alex grinned against Astra’s temple. Sometimes fast learners needed a helping hand. She kissed the pulsing nerve and left Astra’s shoulder to cover the timid hand and guide it down. She pressed her fingers in until Astra was cupping her underwear and every plane of a palm met thin cotton.

Astra stilled immediately, afraid any sudden movement would dissolve their bodies. Stripped of composure, surprise slipped into her voice. “You’re wet.”

The hot sigh tickled Alex’s ear and caused her to squirm against the hand. She held Astra in place, hands stacked in the single-minded pursuit of friction. Yes, she was very wet. Part of her wanted to ramble into a highly technical clarification and another part screamed for no disruption. She couldn’t know of Astra was just thinking out loud or genuinely perplexed about the human body’s biological response to pleasure. With her aptitude, Alex was likely to bet on the former.

Another part in the depths of her heart longed to tell Astra _why_. The explanation had its origins in the nonsexual, the ethereal beauty of it tying her stomach in knots, beating its wings in her chest, and making her heart swell up like a thin-skinned balloon. She was so afraid of shattering at the height of it because they’d never talked about the aftermath, the morning after, the breakfast in bed, and scramble for sheet when a little knocking fist beckoned for invitation. Her heart was shy, her tongue was heavy, the desire was pooling between her legs, and she had to tell Astra why. For that to occur, Alex would need mountains of confidence and a cool brow, two things she didn’t have at the moment.

She let out a soft moan and continued to buck against the hand. Astra allowed Alex to have her way. Keeping still proved a challenge when her hand was collecting moisture at every motion of Alex’s hips. Judging by the flutter of eyelashes, Astra couldn’t keep her eyes open to the sensations. Alex was moaning louder now and bucking harder all the while Astra guided her hips. Her sex was hot and damp against Astra’s palm. She gripped Alex harder, nails scrapped the material of her trousers.

“Astra,” she gasped against the mouth.

Her head tilted back as she bared her throat to Astra’s responding kiss. She moaned in encouragement. She was so close. She needed to feel her flesh meeting with Astra. Astra… Oh, she missed her so much: her face, her scent, her fury, her everything. Unable to voice the request, she hurriedly dragged Astra’s hand up and over. Their hands dipped into an ocean of heat and the sensation overwhelmed as they groaned simultaneously.

The living room, so meager in dimension before, now seemed cavernous to their efforts. Every moan, sigh, grunt of frustration carried. Every name split the air to find safety behind ramparts. And nothing was held back. A panoramic window of night kept prying eyes at bay and gave the impression that nothing existed outside of them, not the media, its destructive factions, or the distant twinkling of traffic.

Softly dimmed light scaling up the walls created a romantic ambiance around their cocooned bodies. It had not been programmed in that fashion for Alex wasn’t one for candles and rose petals. Astra hadn’t a hand in it either because she only needed one thing to make her night and it was already melting in her arms. The atmosphere resonating moans and bathing them in gold was as natural as two women slowly falling in love.

With one hand trapped inside her own pants, Alex clawed her other through thick curls and pulled at the nape. The tug cast Astra’s head back. She covered the squeak of pain with her mouth and began climbing the naked palm. Unencumbered by material, Alex’s clit slid gloriously against the heel of Astra’s hand. Soon it became too much and she broke the kiss. No, she thought like a steel trap slamming down on indulgence. Not like this. She couldn’t go out like some whimpering stray. Not when Astra wasn’t repelled by the way she flooded into her hand. And so her hips sped faster and her moans grew higher, all the while Astra submit to the tugs on her hair and the frantic grinding of hips.

Alex’s anguished cry resonated around them. As her body spread taught and shuddering against Astra, her mind had lost all sense to the point where she actually felt transcended to another fucking plane of existence; so far gone that all sense of past, present, and future dissolved with her ebbing high.

When she opened her eyes, she noticed how her body sagged in the crook of an arm. Astra was looking down on her, expression unguarded and accepting of any request made of her.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out and buried into Astra’s shoulder. “Please forgive me.”

The storm of tears kept her from seeing the confusion on Astra. Alex began shaking so uncontrollably, she hardly noticed the tangled gasp sweeping her hair. Not long through the sobbing, a hand came to rest on her back over her shirt as if uncertain further contact was permitted. Astra came to understand through the fingers slipping into Alex’s hair and the cradling of her head. Alex felt the kiss to her shoulder and cried harder. Astra was doing more than granting forgiveness. She was giving her license to grieve.

“No matter how long it takes,” Astra said, “I will always be here. Unless you no longer wish it.”

Alex leaned back and shook her head hurriedly. “I can’t ask you to do that. Waiting for me… I thought I’d be the one waiting for you.”

“There are no expectations here, Alexandra. I care for you too much to push you into something you’re not ready for. If that time never comes, I would be pleased to remain your friend. We ask nothing from each other. Remember?”

Alex nodded and sagged back into Astra, sighing at the arms safeguarding while simultaneously allowing escape. “Why are you being so understanding? I don’t deserve it.”

“I cannot tell you what you do and do not deserve because it doesn’t feel appropriate. You are still hurting and I am so sorry for it. Sometimes what we think we deserve is the opposite of what we are told, and then we come to understand that they were right all along. I don’t want to put you in that position. I don’t want to tell you what to feel.” Her lips came down to flutter in murmurs against Alex’s forehead. “It takes a clear head to make the right decisions. You do not need to make any right now.”

Alex felt herself growing heavier by the second. “This isn’t fair to you. I can't get over her and seeing you is keeping me from forgetting what we had."

Astra was silent for a while. She didn’t wrest her arm from around Alex as she contemplated those words. They must have stung. For someone you care about to confess feelings for another person should have made Astra recoil but no distance was kept.

“May I take you somewhere?” Although she loosened her grip around Alex, her body continued to act as support. “It’s not far.”

Alex nodded. As she redressed her bottoms and curled errant strands behind her ears, nimble fingers took the liberty of fastening the buttons on her shirt.

Astra took her hand and led her out onto the balcony. It was past midnight, quiet and calm with no transports in sight. The city lights were too far to cast their glow upon them but the house afforded just enough to lay down a path.

Astra gingerly positioned Alex in front of her. Save for the hands framing her shoulders, they were nearly touching. The instinct to lean back and seek contact overwhelmed her. She was growing ever so fond of Astra’s body. Slowly but surely, she was acquainting herself with the subtle differences. Astra did not have the musculature of a soldier but she did retain an athletic quality underneath that uniform (from what Alex could tell in their young intimacy). She ran a little cooler, too, fingers and toes always desiring the warmth beneath Alex’s thighs on movie nights. 

In the slight chill on the balcony, Alex would have sought her out so they could recover in their own heat, but she had no idea what Astra had planned. As drawn as her body was to her, a little restraint was in order.

Alex looked out beyond the railing. In the gloom, she could make out the outlines of a few nearby skyscrapers. “You weren’t kidding about it not being far,” she said.

“Are you too cold?”

“No. Are you?”

“No,” Astra replied, and yet her hands remained on Alex’s shoulders. “I come out here when I need reprieve from questions. Which, in my career, happens often.”

Alex frowned. “I’ve never seen you out here.”

“It is long after you have gone to bed. The apartment is so empty and the balcony so refreshing… I can hear you and Misha sleeping from here and together your heartbeats are a balm.” An amused hum stirred low in her chest. “And before you ask, I do not wake you because you, my human, need sleep more than you need to hear of my troubles.”

The superiority in Alex’s ear made the little hairs around her ear stand up. Raised flesh was replaced with a chaste kiss. She gave a laugh, half hoping her cheek would meet a cold nose. Her heart swelled to the words swirling round it. She was Astra’s human. Hers and Jeremiah’s.

Alex smiled and said, “A human soothing the aches of a headstrong Kryptonian.” She crossed her arms and swiveled from side to side in absent-minded consideration. “What would people say?”

“Nothing worth repeating, that is for sure.” A long sigh stirred the side of Alex’s head and Astra followed it in a soft voice. “All the world’s demands become inconsequential under a sky like that.”

Alex tilted her head up. What she saw made her gasp in wide-eyed amazement. How could she have missed it? She’d never seen stars this close – on Krypton or Earth. The crisp air had not a cloud in it. They were high enough at their apartment level to escape the effervescence of city light. The sky was made of sapphire gems, a dusky ocean as still as a trance. They were everywhere, lights from nearby systems winking at her in greeting. They glowed brighter now than on any other occasion. Alex bit her lip, tears filling her eyes. She could not bear to forget this night.

“Alura and I used to do this. When we were young girls and after our parents had gone to sleep, we’d sneak outdoors and crane our necks to catch a glimpse of the constellations. Alura once claimed that she could see Pelathion.”

“What’s that?”

“The furthest planet in our solar system. It is a well-known fact that Pelathion cannot be seen by the naked eye, even on a clear night as this.” She humphed indignantly. “She was such a fibber back then. Always seeing things just to prove her eyes were more superior than mine. Frankly, of the two of us, _I_ have better eyesight.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Alex quipped, chuckling.

She widened her scope, darting from star to star in wonder over which system they belonged to and if sentient life had touched them. She remembered the time after revealing the truth to Astra when she returned to Alura’s. The confrontation with Astra had sent Alura to seek calm under the stars. After so many decades, they continued the tradition, albeit apart. It was a touching reminder of Alex’s childhood with Kara.

Forgetting why she hadn’t done so from the start, Alex leaned back. Sorrow tightened her throat and made her eyes sting. Sorrow for more than a sister. Heartbreak worthy of a name.

Astra’s hands slid down to encase her folded arms. Their shared warmth seeped through clothes and penetrated skin. Although Alex wasn’t certain if they had what it took to develop something real and lasting, at least they had this night. They could call every depth of feeling in an embrace under the stars as their own.

"I don't want you to forget what you had with her," Astra whispered. "She made you happy and gave you a beautiful son. I don't want to take those memories away."

Tears prickled in Alex’s eyes. She nodded.

“You’re fine,” she encouraged, rubbing the shiver from Alex’s arms. “You’re okay.”

Alex gave a watery chuckle, knowing Astra hated that word. She always called it a cop out. Of all Astra’s favorite human idiosyncrasies, “okay” was not one of them. The fact that their son had appropriated it as his favorite word embittered the hell out of her. It must have been dire circumstances for her to use it. Alex was in fact shaking like a leaf in a hurricane.

She needed to feel the grounding power of Astra’s skin, so she wiggled free to reach for her nape. She turned to bury her face in the neck. The scent from lingering perspiration tickled her nose. Despite the glittery setting, she was far more interested in beauty close to home. Her lids fell closed as she listened, breathed, poured every sense into the pulse drumming against her cheek.

“I’ve been here in this exact spot,” Astra said, “and it has never looked quite like this. The stars are all the brighter when looking at you.”

“Your name,” Alex said, turning in Astra’s arms to catch the luminosity in those eyes. "It means ‘star’ where I come from.”

Her breath caught at the shimmer. The stars here looked different in her eyes. They brought out a subtle green pigment, a feature unique to this Astra. It wasn’t a sickly kryptonite green but a green of vitality and of _life_. Alex’s heart was beating against her ribcage. This was her Kryptonian, Jeremiah’s mother, and her constant in the rapidly turning pages of her life.

Astra smiled and smoothed her thumb along Alex’s jaw. “I know.”


	9. Court and Spark

From across the lab, Alex watched the boxes being stacked in order of weight. When the last one had been positioned, Astra pried off the lid of the top box and peered inside. Something must have gone missing for she frowned at its contents. Her head whipped around her like she had mountains of clues around her but nothing helped. She sighed and went to her drawers in search of the mystery item.

Alex stood propped against one of the station tables, arms crossed and head tilted thoughtfully. She hadn’t wandered from the spot for some time; instead, relegating herself to watching this mystified woman darting around the lab. She wondered how Astra could be organizing at a time like this. Was there even any work to be done? It didn’t take long to explain her behavior. This was not an ordinary day and breaking routine had a tendency to fluster Astra.

Astra’s pursuit led her to the cabinets behind Soren and Oda whose heads were nearly touching as they whispered conspiratorially. Alex smiled as Oda rushed to shake her head at something her husband had said and tried pulling him back from a foreseeably horrible idea.

Soren managed to escape. He raised his glass and called out, “I have a few more things to say before we part. There’s only one more bottle left and I want us to toast the last of it in one grand send off.”

Astra, appearing oblivious, scratched her eyebrow and looked around for something to busy herself with. Alex bit her lip, smiling despite herself. If there was anything Astra hated more than the word “okay” and a day bereft of her two favorite people, it was being in the limelight. Which was unfortunate because she really deserved the praise.

“No more _speeches!_ ” cried Axel with a face palm.

“Rao,” Irina muttered to the ceiling, “I don’t think I can handle another one. Someone get me a stimulant.”

“Here.” Lucya handed over a flute of blue liquid. “Drink this fast enough and it will all go right over your head.”

“I don’t know. Alex looks like she needs this more than I. Alex?”

Irina’s voice jolted Alex from her daze. She blinked. “Hm? Oh, no, thanks.”

One look at the bubbly blue liquid was enough to clench Alex’s stomach. The effervescent drink was Kryptonian champagne, the equivalent of Earth’s concentrated ethanol. Alex made the mistake of accepting Axel’s challenge one night over drinks at a local establishment. Long story short, Lev had to drive her home to get bitched out by Astra for reckless self-endangerment.

She chuckled and raised a half-empty glass. “I had my allotment for the night.”

“Suit yourself,” Irina remarked and downed the glass like her life depended on it. When she was done, she let out a battle whoop in Kryptonese. “So what about this speech?”

Lev fiddled with his glass, eyes shimmering sober. “We’re all waiting, Soren.”

A raucous of claps and hollers called him back up to the small platform. Soren waved them silent and nodded to appease their demands. “Alright, alright. Last one. I promise. It’s real short, so don’t jump out that window yet, Axel.”

Axel, who had come to take his place next to Alex, simply smiled back at the sarcasm. He nudged her shoulder and said under his breath, “Who does this guy think he is? Rao?” The champagne made him wobbly as he snorted. “I’ll jump when I feel like it.”

Chuckling, Alex steadied him with a hand to his arm. “Before you do, make sure to notify one of us so we can stop you.”

He snapped his finger and drawled with all due gravity, “Riiight.”

“First off,” Soren said, “I want to thank everyone for coming tonight. This will be our only day off for a while and for good reason. Project Valor has passed assessment by the Science Council. I think we’re still recovering from that surprise. And just this morning two more donors signed on, making this the first ever privately founded lab on campus. In case you all didn’t know by now, Biology Department is going to be gunning for this space. Which is probably why Astra’s in a hurry to hide the goods.”

Astra froze over her packed equipment, all previously paid out of pocket and snuck under the noses of the Institute. She glanced up with a most innocuous expression. Everyone broke out into comical applause.

Irina shouted, “Save it for later, boss. We’re celebrating!”

Astra’s mouth quirked up and she gave in with a slight blush. She nodded for Soren to continue.

“Who would have thought a bunch of misfit nonentities like us would make history? We wouldn’t have gotten this far without a group like this. Where else are we going to get a chemist like Lucya? She brought the champagne for Rao’s sake!” Laughter filled the room and had Lucya glaring, albeit not packed with its usual vitriol. “And what’s chemistry without the tools to harness it? There’s not an application Irina can’t build.”

Irina nodded. “I can make it sing, too!”

“That’s debatable.” Lucya’s rolling eyes landed softly on Irina and smirked knowingly.

While everyone else was wrapped up in the bottle being passed around for refills, Alex narrowed her eyes with a sixth sense of a grin on her face.

Soren went on. “There’s no better approach to studying a Kryptonian brain than to be led in its study by the finest Kryptonian brain on the planet: Master Lev, would you please stand up?”

Shrugging meekly, Lev pushed back his stool and gave a wave.

“Yeah, alright.” Axel beat his chest and demanded, “Me next!”

“Oh, how could I forget?” Soren chortled and pointed everyone to the broad-shouldered Kryptonian beside Alex. “Axel, our _modest_ neuropsychologist.” The jab had Axel taking laughter with an obliging nod. “Even in the midst of failure, our friend here is always around to inspire motivation and deal a free round of drinks. With that said, thank you all for putting in the grueling hours. It is through perseverance and collaboration that has put our project on the map. Everyone is watching now. Let’s show them what Valor can do.”

A series of twinkles brightened the room as eight flukes rose. They shouted simultaneously, “Hear! Hear!”

“Secondly,” Soren sucked the champagne from his bottom lip before continuing, “I’d like to call your attention to the young lady standing over there.”

Alex’s eyes widened as all heads turned to her. It shouldn’t have been unsettling – every stare belonged to a loyal friend – but the warmth of the spotlight didn’t fail to color her cheeks.

Soren smiled, shaking his head. “You thought you were going to slide by without notice, weren’t you? This is why I call attention to Lady Danvers. She exceeds expectations, assists without question, and does so without regard for acknowledgement or fortune. She’s a team player – more importantly, _our_ team player. She has long since shed the title of assistant and become a full-fledged member of the project. Alexandra, three cycles ago when you started working here, we did not anticipate the contributions you would make. In those three cycles you have facilitated major strides not only in this project but as part of your own research as well. Soon enough, Krypton will see what brilliance it has in their midst. One day, I have no doubt, they will fall to their knees and sing their gratitude. On behalf of science, I thank you. It has been a pleasure to see you mature into the incomparable scientist standing before us today.” He lifted his glass in her direction and smiled. “To Alexandra.”

Everyone rose to the occasion with a stirring hail of “To Alexandra!” Before Alex could prepare herself, she became sandwiched between two Kryptonian men, Lev and Axel. They hugged her around the shoulders with startling affection. Her eyes prickled in gratitude. They were like the brothers she never had, always there to stand up against anti-human criticism (even when she held her own rather well). Her squeal of surprise turned into laughter as they praised her with smiles and zeal fit for their squishy human.

Amid the raucous, Alex locked eyes with Astra. Normally reserved at these engagements, Astra looked about as fearless as a wild cat as she raised her glass in salute, lips pursing around a smile. Her eyes glittered like starlight. A stroke of lightheadedness came over Alex; a feeling that could not be blamed on the champagne. 

“And last but not least…”

Irina nearly collapsed in dismay. “Oh, for Rao’s sake!”

“Listen now because this is important. I wish to thank Astra without whom none of this would be possible. She had the courage to identify a flaw in the system and instead of raving about it she proposed a solution. When everyone from the Institute to the Science Council discouraged the idea, she stuck to her blasters and stood up for the pride of Krypton’s Warrior Guild.

“Against heated controversy, she has been fighting on behalf of veterans, not on the battlefield or at a podium but in the lab where miracles are made. I do not think of this as an end to our struggle but the beginning of an epoch. Science is built on future ventures. We _must_ take risks. We _must_  overcome suppression of intellectual thought. I cannot think of a better person to pave the way than Astra.”

Astra, red to the tips of her ears, managed a nod of thanks. Before her glass touched her lips, Soren drove on. She bit back exasperation with sigh.

“Experiencing the ups and downs with you has been an adventure. We’ve known each other for a long time and I hope to share another fifty cycles of friendship and professional partnership with you.”

No matter how much any of them had to drink, they all had reason to straighten in respect. They looked to Astra, their flukes of bubbly raised for the first of many salutes in the years to come. Then, as if every Kryptonian in the room shared a mind meld, the place rang simultaneously with, <May Rao’s light shine upon you.>

Astra swallowed and blinked amid the thick ambiance. She knew no other way of showing her appreciation than to lay a closed hand over her heart and bow her head. When she looked up, her eyes dashed in search. When they found Alex her eyebrows rose, pleading for a way out of this attention. Alex smiled and shook her head because there was no way she going to let Astra slip away.

Under her breath, she whispered a few words in her own language. Astra wet her lips and dropped her gaze. She may give the impression of a woman who did not respond to praise, but her flaming cheeks spoke for her.

With speeches concluded, people went about mingling. Instinct told Alex where she was needed, so she put down her glass and smoothed down her dress uniform, specially tailored for such rare receptions as this. She tucked her head down and tried to keep to the background so as not to get delayed by conversation.

Unfortunately, her covert tactics were not covert enough for one Kryptonian.

Irina sidled up next to her and asked, “You up for our run tomorrow?”

“You must be joking.” Alex stared and choked out, “With the way things are rolling tonight, I’ll be in no shape to get out of bed before noon tomorrow. I know you guys like to get a laugh at my one drink limit, but I’ll be suffering serious consequences later.”

“Even more reason. Stretch those legs, sweat it out, couple of loops around campus… It’s the perfect remedy for a hangover!”

Alex gawked between Irina and her third glass of champagne. “How do you do it?”

“My metabolism is rock solid.”

“That’s what you Kryptonians keep telling me.” She suffered a long sigh. “I’ll call you tomorrow. It’s a maybe. Now if you will excuse me, I have a faint Kryptonian to catch.”

Alex slipped past a chuckling Irina and made her way to the other side of the lab where Astra and Oda were conversing. She was just about to clear her throat when Oda turned.

“Alexandra,” she greeted with a smile. “I’m so glad you’re coming for dinner tomorrow night. Edda has been begging us to have Misha over. Those two.” She clicked her tongue and shook her head in fondness. “Inseparable.”

“Ah…” Alex’s head rose in fell in vague understanding. She looked to Astra and gave her a discreet plea for assistance. Between the dinner invitation and Jeremiah’s apparent new girlfriend, she felt the room spinning. “Ah, yeah. They’re real cute.”

Oda pointed behind her. “Looks like Soren’s ready to head out. I’ll see both of you tomorrow.”

Astra gave a distracted hum.

Alex smiled. “Goodnight, Oda. Drive safely.”

Oda waved in farewell and went to hook her arm around her husband.

Alex turned and raised her brow. “Dinner?”

“I don’t even know how it happened.” Astra touched her forehead with a baffled shake of the head. She looked so out of it, she hardly remembered consenting to the invitation.

After a moment, the pale began to dissipate and her lines smoothed. Alex cocked her head and took a step forward. “Hi,” she murmured, slipping her hand into Astra’s.

The previously rigid shoulders sagged significantly. “Hello.” The corner of Astra’s mouth curled up as she squeezed the hand in hers.

The eyes staring back were mesmerizing. Alex could stand there bathed in admiration and remain oblivious to the people crowding in their midst. A familiar warmth set in and made her heart skip. Astra looked at her like everything else was inconsequential. Alex was hit with a heady sense of how lucky she was. The lab could go up in flames and the first thing Astra would grab would not be her research notes but Alex’s hand. That was the strength clinging to her now. That devotion keeping her enraptured.

“So,” she drawled, “when’s _your_ speech?”

Astra scowled. “Do not think you can rattle me, Alexandra. I expressed appreciation the other day. No more is necessary on my part.”

“Ah, that’s right. Your speech on arduous roads and leaps to the stars.” Alex chuckled at the wince. The night before Astra's speech, she had been kept up by disgruntled mutters and pleas for metaphors. Contrary to Astra’s devastation, it was a very sweet speech. Alex squinted and said, “I also remember you mentioning how you couldn’t do this without me. That sounded real professional, boss.”

“That was after I called you an instrumental addition to the team and an example of Kryptonian integrity.”

“Still, it does hint that there’s something going on between us.”

“ _Alexandra_ ,” Astra chastised as she scrutinized the distance between them and the nearest person.

Quite unsurprisingly, Alex felt a tug on her hand. It was amusing to see Astra struggle against her better judgment. She’d become a complete leech in these types of situations, always needing contact to settle her nerves. Nevertheless, it was impossibly endearing to watch the crinkled brow scope for nosy onlookers. Although Astra typically limited public displays of regard at her discretion, this was a special occasion and Soren had his arm around _his_ significant other. With their hips touching and their hands clasped from view, still, they were about as inconspicuous as a flame dragon soaring over Argo.

“He-llo!” called Axel. He had an arm draped about Lev’s shoulders. Lev, who looked too brotherly to be harassed by the weight. “You two coming? There’s at least two Caprani ales with your name on it, Alex.”

Alex noticed that Soren and Oda had already gone home. Irina and Lucya were nowhere to be found, either. A warm sensation crept closer and she shook her head. “Not tonight, Axel. Thanks.”

Astra straightened beside her. “Go on ahead. We have a few operational tasks in need of finishing here.”

A rather un-Lev-like snigger came from Lev.

Axel’s eyes shifted between Alex and Astra, not at all convinced. “Suit yourselves.” He turned towards the exit, leaning heavily on Lev. A chuckle burst like it had been held in for days. “Don’t stay up too late now, kids!”

Alex rolled her eyes as their roar of laughter echoed down the hall. Leave it to Axel to spread rumor. But, seriously, who where they kidding? He and the rest of the team were their closest friends, people who worked with them on a daily basis. If anyone knew just how much fact there was in rumor, they certainly had a clue. The evidence was stacked against her and Astra. Alex had such a hard time keeping her eyes from straying, even when there was a full-sized, utterly fascinating specimen on her desk waiting to be dissected. There was no question that they shared an intimate bond what with the meaningful looks across the room and slight-of-hand grazes. Making some half-baked alibi about “operational tasks needing finishing,” had to be the least convincing excuse in the book. Of the two of them, Astra usually had the best comebacks (some so ironclad Alex wondered if they weren’t excuses at all and they just _happened_ to find themselves spending seven minutes in the supply closet). Astra must have been losing her touch.

As soon as the doors closed, silence filled the lab. They were alone for the first time in hours. Hours that felt like _days_.

The pull on Alex’s tail shirt was enough to spin her around. Alex put her hands up to stop her momentum but she was caught by the hips. Astra’s expression alone was enough to knock the wind out of her. The sheer relief melting her features gave way to intention.

“You don’t waste any time,” Alex said, glancing down to buttons being wrenched from their holes. 

When the last button was freed, Alex’s shoulders jittered to the wash of cold air. Her shirt was god knows where. She inhaled sharply to the hands running up her sides and let out a breathy chuckle.

“ _Astra_ ,” she insisted.

Before she could get another word out, Astra was embracing her and taking measured breaths from the shelter of her neck. No movement came but the rise and fall of a chest. With the body shielding her from the chilly lab, Alex smiled into the curls tickling her nose and held Astra against her. Her heart clenched to think how long Astra had been waiting for this. The simple act of a hug bore outstanding significance for them. Aside from Jeremiah, Alex was the only one in the universe who had been given the chance to witness this vulnerability. Trust took time and she was finding out how rewarding it was to finally have Astra’s.

The sound of a throat clearing startled them apart. When the source of the cough became evident, Alex cupped her cheek and discharged a chuckle. They could have had worse eavesdroppers. Astra was not as accommodating for she let slip an irate curse in Kryptonese.

“I am _so_ sorry.” Irina skipped past with a ducked head. It wasn’t enough to conceal the ear-to-ear grin. “I really did forget my key this time.”

“Mm-hm,” Alex replied

Astra leaned into her, sparing their friend from witnessing skin that was by all rights Astra’s to witness.

“Got it!” The metallic side of the key card caught the light as Irina lifted the evidence for view. “Don’t mind me. I’m leaving.”

A bark of “ _Irina!_ ” came from outside. It sounded suspiciously like Lucya.

“Rao preserve me,” Irina muttered. “I’m coming!” Upon passing them, she blindly lifted a hand in farewell. A great deal of effort was taken in keeping her eyes from the women who appeared glued together in her periphery.

Alex bit her cheek to stifle her amusement. “ _Bye_ , Irina.”

When the door closed, Astra lowered her forehead to Alex’s shoulder and exhaled.

Alex gave a laugh and said, “We tried.”

“Not hard enough.”

“Is it really so bad that they know?”

“Publicity like that would have bothered you at one time.” Her hands returned and she began laying slow kisses along Alex’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but that was during our first year together.” She closed her eyes and shivered under the silken mouth. “I’m not a lackey anymore. I’m their respected equal. Three cycles ago I would have been horrified if anyone from the team found us like this. They’re Kryptonian. They wouldn’t have understood at the time why you would be with someone like me.” She frowned. “Despite how quickly they accepted a human.”

“Believe me, courting a human is not all what it seems to be. And yet I find it well worth the trouble.”

Instead of taking the bait, Alex glazed over how troublesome she claimed to be and mused, “Courting… I like it when you call it that. You sound so respectable.”

Astra surfaced to reveal an offended expression. “When have I  _not_ been respectable?”

“Come on. The things you’ve done to me on this table and in that supply closet? Not to mention in our bed. I’m surprised Jeremiah hasn’t asked for ear mufflers. He’s bound to hear something and I’m cringing in anticipation for that day to come.”

“I seem to remember you participating quite amorously in those exploits.”

“Well, I’m not dead, Astra. I have needs.”

Astra smirked in response, thereby ending the conversation. She resumed the kisses to Alex’s shoulder as if she’d never lost momentum. Each one landed closer to her neck and evolved from chaste pecks to sucks at her jawline. Alex slackened under the gentle mouth, knowing the hum she received in return was all due to her quick surrender. It was so easy for everything to melt into the background. Every smell and sound became focused on their familiarity with each other. Astra knew exactly where to put her mouth in order to pull a moan and how far the marks could go before they drew blood. She proceeded with restrained passion, trading between nips and kisses to Alex’s jaw.

The frenzy drove Alex up a wall. She grasped the back of Astra’s head, half in favor of pulling the mouth harder against her and tugging it back for a counterassault. Astra must have sensed her conflict because she drew back and made the decision for her. Their mouths came together in a kiss. Astra’s arms wound tighter round her waist and Alex warmed her fingers in Astra’s hair. They could not get any closer if they wanted to.

Even if it marked the last work day before the weekend, campus still had a few students and professors moseying about. None, though, approached Astra In-Ze’s laboratory for fear of stumbling upon some scientific discovery no one was ready to face. Krypton as a whole was not as accepting of change as its scientists, but even the foolhardy ones knew Astra liked her privacy.

With the lab to themselves, Astra and Alex collapsed into kisses and over-the-clothes fondling (or in Astra’s case: free reign over a shirtless Alex). They had fallen into a nice routine the past three years, a routine they could count on. There had been no backlash from the public. Thanks to the short-term memory of the media, reporters had moved on to bigger and better scandals. The Science Council was allowing Astra’s research to remain on campus despite its private funding and by next week they would be moving into a much larger laboratory with state-of-the-art equipment and more volunteers for trials than they ever dreamed of. Everything seemed to be falling into place for them, professionally and personally. 

Alex pushed Astra back with a regretful groan. “As much as I’d like to continue this, I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

“I’m sorry. Has your back healed yet?”

The question put a pout on her face. “I’m old and human. Couldn’t you have carried me?”

“Nonsense. You are young and beautiful and more than capable of bending to suit your pleasure.”

“Maybe in the bedroom,” Alex conceded. She then inclined her head to point out, “but not over a work station.”

“Very well.” Astra receded completely, snagged an item off the floor, and proceeded towards the door.

A retort stalled at the back of Alex’s throat. She followed after, laughing nervously. “Astra? Can I have my shirt back?”

* * *

They came home relieved to find it silent. A good sign because the older Jeremiah was growing, the harder it was to get him to bed. There was always one more game to play or one more chapter before sleep. He had his methods, most of which entailed a pouty bottom lip that worked wonders on his family.

Kara sat on the sofa, working on a notebook propped up in her lap. Alex came up from behind, clocking the swings of a ponytail as the head cocked left and right. She imagined the scrunched look of concentration on Kara’s face and smiled.

“You’re just like your son, you know that?” Kara turned around, nonplussed and sporting a superior raise of her brow. “You both seem to believe Kryptonians can be crept up on.”

“No harm in trying.” Alex took a seat on the sofa arm and peered closer at the drawing. “It’s really coming along, Kara. I’d be surprised if the Artisan Guild doesn’t admit you early.”

After closing her sketchbook, Kara stood up with a roll her eyes. “Father will forbid it. He believes science contributes more to society than pretty pictures.”

Astra came walking in with a fire in her eyes. “What does _your father_ know about art? Hm?”

“He can cook a mean casserole,” Alex said, shrugging, “but he can’t make it look pretty.”

“Of course he can’t.” Astra folded her arms and pinned Kara with inescapable scrutiny. “I may not have an eye for colors, but I know beauty when I see it. Have you shown him your paintings?”

Timid, Kara ducked her head. “No.”

“Why ever not?”

“I don’t want to disappoint him.” She packed her bag with such ferocity that it nearly punched a hole in the canvas. “I’m supposed to enter the Intellectual Guild. If I make a fuss, it’ll bring shame on him and he’ll disown me!” She regained her breath only to let it out in a huff.

Astra took the tirade in stride. “No one is _supposed_ to do anything against their will, Kara. You know better.”

“Show your pieces to Zor,” Alex encouraged. “He’ll see the passion you put into them. It’s worth a shot.”

Kara’s mouth twisted at the corner as she weighed her options. She was always happiest with a brush in her hand and a canvas to pour ideas on. She had such an appetite for color and fluid lines. The things she could do with that creative mind blew Alex away. Even her Kara from Earth didn’t exhibit this level of talent so early on.

“Do not fret, dear niece.” Astra approached Kara, arms spread to offer comfort. “If your father disowns you, you are more than welcome to stay here with us.”

Kara chuckled within the bear hug. “Thanks, Aunt Astra.”

“Thank you. Do I dare ask if Misha got into your paints again?”

The chortle nearly broke the embrace. Kara leaned back, grasping her aunt’s arms in assurance. “Not tonight. I kept a close eye on the little snoop.”

Alex swept a hand over her forehead, feeling like she dodged a bullet. “As long as I don’t have to wash his hands twenty times. That stuff does _not_ come out easily.”

Astra kissed Kara’s head and nudged her in Alex’s direction. “Did he go down without protest?”

“I met some resistance, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“Look at you,” mused Alex, squeezing Kara tight to her chest, “invulnerable to the infamous Jeremiah Pout. How on Krypton do you manage it?”

“It’s simple, really. When the going gets tough, I put my foot down.” Kara wiggled within the hug. At sixteen, she nearly reached Alex in height, but it took some maneuvering to lift her head without breaking any human bones. “You two are such softies. That kid gets away with robbery.”

Astra smiled. “You are simply jealous. Not all childhoods are one and the same. Appreciate the fact that your mother allows you to take an airbus on your own.”

The mention of Alura raised Alex’s brows. The sisters might be on speaking terms, but Astra rarely brought her up in conversation when it posed in Alura’s favor. Alex quirked her lips up, impressed by the initiative. She’d have to bring it up later and give Astra her due credit.

“Rao help Misha,” sighed Kara. She still submit to Alex’s swaying hug even though everyone there knew she loved the affection heaped on her whenever she visited. “Poor thing is never going to be able to leave the house without a shadow, is he?”

Alex chuckled. “Not if I can help it.” She dropped a kiss to Kara’s temple and released her. “Leave a message to let us know you got home alright. Make sure the airbus isn’t populated with shady characters. Check your corners and call us if you’d rather one of us give you a lift.”

“And do not make eye contact,” called Astra as she fell in beside Alex. “It is late. There is no reason for a sane individual to converse with a girl of your age at this time of night.”

“Seriously, you guys? I’m sixteen!”

Alex’s face split into a grin as she felt an arm slip around her waist. “We love you!”

“Love you, too.” Kara waved behind her and trudged out. <Sweet Rao.>

The door closed and laughter continued to scatter the living room. Alex wound her arm around Astra’s neck to bring her down for a kiss. When her lungs burned for air, she broke away. Snagging her lip between her teeth, Alex plucked Astra’s dress shirt. “Take these clothes off and get into bed. I’m going to check in on our son.”

Unfazed, Astra replied with a dutiful, “Yes, Lady Danvers.”

Alex didn’t miss the glimmer in passing. Contrary to how bland their routine might look on the outside, those eyes never failed to infuse a bit of impulsivity into their relationship. A thrill of anticipation made the hair on her arms stand on end and quivered further when a chuckle echoed from down the hallway. Alex smiled, aware that her quickening heartbeat could be picked up from across the apartment.

The door to Jeremiah’s bedroom was left open a crack. She nudged it open and the light from behind her spilled out onto the steps leading in. Alex took one glance at the vaguely outlined figure under the covers and laughed softly. She went over to his bedside and patted down the frizz and pushed the awry locks behind his ears. She made a mental note to take him for a haircut the next day. He downright loathed the process, but if he knew who he would be seeing for dinner, he would submit without a kick or scream. Then again, maybe Edda didn’t mind her son’s mop of a head.

Alex sighed over her breaking heart. She really needed to stop thinking about it. One comment about their ‘inseparableness’ wouldn’t lead to marriage. Calm down. The boy was four not fourteen.

“Crap,” she muttered, chin trembling. She pressed into his head, lips whispering, “Don’t grow up, baby. Okay?”

They had celebrated his fourth birthday earlier that week. Through some calculations and an illegal hack into the pod system he arrived in, Astra figured out Jeremiah’s birth date on the Kryptonian calendar. Since then, every year they threw a party for him complete with cake and candles. It stuck as a tradition between the three of them, although that hadn’t stopped his aunt and uncle from sending gifts. So far, the toys strewn about his bedroom had yet to exhaust his attention.

With a family like his, Jeremiah would not want for anything. And that was exactly what Alex intended for him: always surrounded by the love and support of those closest to him. Considering where they had started, it was a miracle that they had found their way back to one other. Against all odds – time and space – family withstood the cruelty of fate. Alex had her son and a woman she called home.

Even if temporary citizenship hadn’t given her all the freedoms granted to Kryptonian citizens, it was enough to build a new beginning. In the span of three years, she had fulfilled all the requirements necessary to earn Krypton’s equivalent of a PhD in bioengineering. Equipped with the credentials, she had as much a right to recognition as the rest of her colleagues. On her off time, she even went on to develop her own research. None of it would have been possible without Astra’s firm endorsement and the support of the Institute. Without her friends, she wouldn’t have had the opportunity to prove her worth in the field.

But all of that meant nothing if she didn’t have this little boy to come home to. He was her miracle, her agent of survival, and he had her heart. She loathed the day he would have to face the truth. Walking through life as a human was hard enough, but to do so as an alleged product of heresy? Jeremiah would always be caught between two worlds and not having ever remembered one of them. Whether he leaned further to the Kryptonian side or the human, Alex told herself she wouldn’t be disappointed either way.

Jeremiah’s nose wrinkled in his sleep. She’d seen it on another Kryptonian and was nearly knocked over by the resemblance. He looked so much like his birth mother – the brown curls and the steely eyes. He could be so much more expressive in his sleep, just like her. The untold worries that plagued her did not touch him, but there was a shadow of loss underneath those slumbering twitches. So like her. So much that could not vanish to stardust.

Alex closed her eyes over the welling emotion. She bent down to bury her prayers in his hair. The soft tangles brushing her cheek persuaded her to close her eyes and drown in his scent. Every once and a while, when her guard was dangerously low and she found herself on the edge of an abyss, she needed him. She needed these moments when he lay oblivious to her nuzzles and kisses and whispers and was never conscious of how fragile her heart was.

Alex peppered one last kiss to his cheek before receding. She took in his face. He was losing those baby cheeks with every passing month and growing leaner and closer to Astra’s angular shape. Jeremiah was maturing like the rise and set of the sun; it was inevitable. No matter what path he took, Alex took comfort in the thought that he would have a choice unlike the millions of other children who believed the Codex told them where to walk, when to jump, and how to live. Whatever decision her son made, he could never disappoint her.

A brush against the carpet announced footsteps. Astra met her with a similar brooding expression. It was difficult to talk about. They rarely spoke of Jeremiah’s future for fear that it would only shed light on ill opportunity. Together, they did not form an optimistic front. They were practical people in an unfair world and they realized the danger of placing hope in the wrong hands. Despite the hardships, they faced it together, and when the time came they would do so with Jeremiah at their side.

Astra had a way of sensing the uncertainty in Alex and seemed to know exactly when these moments were needed to recuperate at Jeremiah’s side. She never questioned it and never intruded. And when Alex was finished, there she would stand, as she was standing at present, offering a soft smile of understanding.

Alex nodded, appreciation tickling in her chest. She touched Astra’s arm and quietly left the room, allowing her turn to say goodnight.

* * *

When Alex entered the bedroom she shared with Astra, she found it well groomed. The duvet had been folded back and the decorative bolster pillow rolled out of sight. Alex grinned so hard her cheeks turned sore. The lights had been dimmed to a suggestive level. During the day, the room was programmed to remain at its lowest light setting. At night, they set it at 50% brightness and 30% when they read in bed. The only instance the lights were reduced to an exotic 15% was during more private moments long after Jeremiah had been put to sleep.

The light crawling up the walls took on the ever-changing colors of a Kryptonian sunset in turmeric and crimson. The whole room was bathed in candlelight without the burning wick or cloying scent. Astra, like the sneaking romantic she was, had preserved the ideal atmosphere. Although there were no lines of poetry waiting on the pillow or scattering of petals across the sheet, Alex didn’t mind due to their complete lack of regard for plants and rhymes. The vase of flowers in the foyer was the only life besides a four-year-old that they shared custody of. Considering their absentmindedness and the fact that their hands were full with Jeremiah, they were bound to forget the poor thing. Currently, the flowers were at the wilting stage. It sufficed to say Alex would rather go sans flower on bed than have to sleep with the reek of dead shrubbery.

By the time Alex had changed and slipped into bed, Astra entered.

“I’m sorry about Oda’s dinner invitation,” Astra said. She tapped the door panel and checked the lock before descending the steps into their bedroom. “I know you wanted to work in your lab tomorrow.”

“It’s fine,” Alex insisted.

She scrubbed her eyes. Sleep could wait; she was much more engrossed in the woman disrobing before her. Soon, Astra’s words came back to clear her lethargy. As much as the spare-bedroom-turned-private-lab called to her, she didn’t mind spending another night out. Oda and Soren were welcome company and a fitting distraction from the work that never ceased.

“Unfortunately,” Alex said, “Irina is expecting me to run with her tomorrow morning and Jeremiah needs a haircut. On top of that I have to prep for our next round of trials.” Alex shook her head, muttering, “I doubt I’ll have time to breathe.”

“I can take him for his haircut. And leave the trial prep to me.” She bent down to slip off her trousers. An impish grin perked from around her curtained hair. “Go and enjoy your run tomorrow.”

The lilt of amusement in Astra’s voice had Alex rolling her eyes. “Very funny. I shouldn’t have had anything to drink. What is with your alcohol here? I’m completely sober now but come tomorrow morning there’s going to be a deadly hangover with my name on it.”

“How much did you have tonight?”

“Half a glass.”

“You will survive.”

“We’ll find out tomorrow, w-won’t we?” she said around a yawn. She inhaled sharply at its height before snapping her mouth shut as if she hadn’t already been caught.

Astra chuckled while balancing on one foot and slipping her sock off the other.

“You’re so weird,” Alex murmured, resting her cheek in hand. “Who leaves their socks for last?”

“I rarely act according to custom. It is one of my many attractive qualities.”

Alex snorted. “Yeah, that and pride.”

Astra shook her head, amused and barely wounded, and crawled in from her side of the bed. The sheet billowed out, letting in a rush of cold air and affording a view that caused her to pause. She cocked a brow at the shorts and long sleeve shirt. “You are overdressed.”

The disappointment in her voice caused Alex to wince. “Yeah, I know. I didn’t want to presume. You looked tired and it’s been a long night.”

“Mm,” Astra agreed with a drowsy nod.

The swiftness with which Astra gave in with fluttering eyes was so endearing. Alex smiled and slid closer. She wiggled her arm from beneath her body and reached out. The back of her finger smoothed over the curve of Astra’s cheek. Her skin was smooth and carried a slightly rosy tint. Alex continued on into tresses which she combed back with her other hand. The lightly clawing fingers stirred a hum at the back of Astra’s throat. Her body sank deeper into the mattress and skirted toward slumber.

Alex grinned and kissed the slackening lips. She came away, grinning wider. “You’re not quitting on me, are you?”

A grunt responded and Astra blinked alert. “Mm, I’m awake.”

Chuckling softly, Alex removed her hand from the thick mane and tucked it between them.

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” Astra asked.

“Yeah, I’ve always wanted to pop champagne in a professional work place. I even got to see what Axel’s like on the expensive stuff. It’s a miracle nothing broke around all that glass.”

“It was a risk,” conceded Astra, “but the team insisted. I suppose it was appropriate. Celebrations should take place where they are dedicated to.”

“Will you miss it? The lab?”

Astra’s nose wrinkled against a piece of drifting lint. “Some. It is the memory of earlier successes I’ll miss more than the inadequate space and cloudy windows.”

The fuzz trickled down the bridge of Astra’s nose. Alex pinched it between her thumb and forefinger and flicked it away. For as mind-bogglingly fast the years had flown by, she appreciated these moments in between the bustle when she and Astra could be together bereft of distractions, interruptions, or engagements pressing on their minds. Settling into her new life on Krypton wouldn’t have been possible otherwise. Nothing was as easy as being with Astra.

Alex slipped an arm around Astra and ran up her back. She took her time, focusing between the shoulder blades where familiar knots met her fingertips.

“God, you’re tense.”

The muscles beneath Alex’s fingers fought against her, so she persuaded them to loosen with a circling of her fingers. Astra’s eyes fluttered closed and her nostrils flared around an exhale. Alex applied more pressure and judged where it was needed most by clocking the reactions in Astra’s expression. Her brows pinch together the closer Alex approached a gathering of tension. Alex’s mouth twisted in concern. Astra always had problems with her upper back. All her stress seemed drawn there.

“Soren spoke fittingly tonight.” Astra’s gaze flit around Alex face, never lingering too long on a feature for fear of missing the others and hardly straying from within her frame. “You are an incomparable scientist. One of the best on Krypton.”

Alex paused in the massage and lay her hand flat to Astra’s back. A wealth of recognition crowded in her chest. It was unlike the respect she met at the party that night through the sheer depth of its effect on her.

She stared back at the unwavering eyes and said, “Thank you. I’m not one to rely on the praise of my superior but it does feel good.”

“I’m not saying it because you are my protégé. I meant every word of my speech the other night. I could not have gotten this far without you.”

A blush scaled up Alex’s neck and filled her cheeks. She chastised with a roll of her eyes.

“I am very proud of you, Alexandra. The lengths you have spent to make your mark in this world. Against such outrageous opposition. I see now how recklessness can be advantageous. There is no stopping you.”

“That’s not entirely true. I have one or two weaknesses.”

Astra smiled. “I know one is in the next room over. Where might the other be?”

“I don’t know,” Alex mused slyly, fighting a smirk. “She was ready to doze off a minute ago. And I’m feeling pretty unstoppable at the moment.”

A low, rich chuckle parted from Astra’s lips and became harmonious with Alex’s. They came together, open and breathing laughter from each other's mouths, and content to share the space without as much as a proper kiss.

An astonishing reminder triggered Alex to withdraw. “Hey, did you get a vibe from Lucya and Irina tonight? I think I’ve seen it before, somehow, but I can’t place it.”

Astra’s eyes were fixed to the moving mouth. She held back a pout and remained patient, waiting for Alex to come to her. “I suppose there is something between them. It must have been recent for they have not been this antagonistic. It could be subterfuge.”

“How do you think that happened?” Alex’s frown endured. Churning thoughts kept her from noticing the weight of a hand on her hip. “I thought they hated each other. When they’re not bickering over which contrast agents work best in brain imaging, the air around them is crackling with tension.”

Indifferent, Astra shrugged. “That is how sexual chemistry begins.”

“Kind of like ours,” Alex murmured, leaning back in to kiss around Astra’s mouth.

“Oh?”

“Absolutely.”

“You sound confident.”

“It can be proven, really. The body secretes adrenaline and serotonin to lure the unsuspecting subject.”

Astra’s grinned underneath the pecking lips. “Go on.”

“Chemical signals alert the hypothalamus of attraction. Then,” her hand came to settle under Astra’s breast and stroke with tender consideration, “when you least expect it,” she kissed the dips and ridges of Astra’s ear, delighting in the shivers every syllable made, “something intoxicating takes over brain functions. Neurons are firing off like rockets. The heart becomes excited, the blood is pumping, and a connection is made. Rising hormones beget sparks.” She grinned widely, unable to help herself. “Or something like that.”

"Mm…" When Astra found the hem of Alex’s shirt, she slid beneath it to meet an arching back. She punctuated the kneading with words dripping thick with need. "I like when you talk science."

“Think of how much you’ll like me when I stop talking and put my mouth to better use.”

“That is boastful talk.” The corner of Astra’s mouth slinked up. “I’m waiting.”

Alex dipped her head and muffled her laugh between breasts. When too sleepy to assert herself, Astra just lay there giving orders. And the hell if Alex didn’t carry them out to the letter.

Leaving one last kiss to Astra’s breast, Alex bounded out of bed and started stripping. Her entire body was humming with anticipation, leaving no time to give Astra a show. She fumbled with her shirt by bending forward and grunting in effort to get her elbow free. Real sexy. Her shorts, amazingly enough, gave her just as much trouble. All the while Alex was panting and contorting her limbs to rid her clothes, Astra was expressing her amusement in hearty chuckles.

“Shut up,” Alex huffed. Finally naked, she snapped back the sheet and crawled in.

Without pause, she kissed down the varying surfaces of Astra’s body. Blind, she knew every feature down to the smallest mole by touch as if they were her own. She continued south until her path reached a terminus. There she laid the weight of her groaning mouth to Astra’s desire. The bed dipped under her arching back. With heels dug in, she rose to meet Alex in a thankful sigh.

Alex’s tongue roved in tight circles until the blood rushed to Astra’s clit. She lingered there, pulling gently with her lips and teasing Astra to distraction before directing her efforts elsewhere. As her strokes persisted, Astra’s breath became shallow and her mouth fell ajar to rapid pants. Her heart, no doubt, clenched in time to the hands fisting the sheets. Alex wished she possessed the heightened senses of a Kryptonian to count those beats. God, the things she could do with those powers. Alex slid her tongue through Astra, moaning to the images flooding her mind.

By the unerring commitment of her mouth, she made love to Astra. Nothing deterred her, not the hollers of encouragement or the striking moans. There was no reason to delay for fear of disturbing a slumbering little boy. She and Astra had learned from previous oversights that Jeremiah’s sleep entered its deepest phase after precisely one hour. Any sign of distress before then and he was up like a shot and barreling through the door to get to his allegedly murdered parents. In hindsight, their passion could fairly have been mistaken for blunt force trauma and blood-curdling shrieks to oblivious ears.

Mortified didn’t even begin to cover their response when Astra forgot to lock the door that one night. Thank Rao and all the gods in the universe their two-year-old hadn’t an impressionable memory at the time. Since then, they learned to temper their passion until Jeremiah had been out for an adequate time. In addition, Astra had developed a habit of triple checking the bedroom door lock before engaging in any amorous activities. A habit Alex diagnosed as a nightly compulsion.

As wholeheartedly as Alex loved her son and wanted to spend every waking moment with him, this was one of those times she was relieved to have Astra to herself. Jeremiah hadn’t grown out of his clinging phase, so whenever he wasn’t with Alex he plastered himself to his other mother like bark on a tree. Astra adored the attention, but she was in equal agreement that they needed their space on occasion.

At present, Alex reveled in the very private space which was closing by the second. She gripped Astra’s thighs and continued to work her up to mind-numbing pleasure. Laying with Astra was occasionally gentle but always familiar. Their bodies navigated around one another as if they had been indulging themselves far longer than they had spent together. Titillation and craving knew no bounds; there was nothing stale about their sex life nor the intimacies they shared in between.

Alex remembered the first time they went beyond kissing and traversed more stimulating territory. It had been hurried and “fucking” for the sake of grasping a foregone feeling. She should have been more attentive, more encouraging, but after so long? And with Astra flooding her senses? She had been far too overwhelmed to mind her pace.

Now, though, they had plenty of time to explore and reinvent their attraction for one other. And Alex did so love to take her time.

At the height of Astra’s breathlessness, Alex crept up to smother her mouth with a kiss that was all tongue and lips. They moaned simultaneously as Astra utilized any remaining strength to bring them closer. Alex responded by curling an arm underneath, splaying her hand to the quivering knots, and compelling them to loosen at her fingertips.

<So...> “ _Oh_ ,” came breathily from Astra. She tilted her head back, eyes rolling aimlessly in rapture and fingers sliding through Alex’s hair.

Alex translated the slack Kryptonese and beckoning hips and granted relief by returning where Astra needed her most. With her free hand she bypassed her own pleasure for the one running hot between them. Her fingers glided in and began pumping to the urgent moans. Alex set a pace that had them both rocking together, sweat slicked and panting. Soon, Alex sought relief in the thigh beneath her. She swayed against Astra, climbing higher with every stroke painting firm muscle. Her fingers pressed harder into Astra’s back and, paired with the steady thrusts, they pulled delirious laments. The tightening muscles told Alex that she was nearly there.

" _Oh, Rao,_ ” Astra burst out, eyes slammed shut and body coiling around orgasm. <I love you.>

Alex dropped her head to Astra’s shoulder and drove forward one more time. "I love you, too," she rasped before coming effortlessly over Astra.

All the tension that besieged Astra released considerably beneath Alex’s hands. It might have been the most beautiful thing she ever felt. For it to happen at her hands bolstered her pride. Considering Astra was superior to her in strength and endurance, the odds of satisfying a molecule was enough to dim any human’s confidence. But Alex had proven herself time and again that she could satisfy this Kryptonian, and that fact clinched her assurance and aroused her to fervor.

Alex moaned softly at the thought and fell sluggishly to Astra’s side.

The sense of complete physical unraveling had the power to turn tides. There was something about coming together that loosened Astra’s tongue to a degree that she wouldn’t normally advocate. It was during these post-coital moments that conversation either deepened their bond or opened a chasm between them.

The inevitable came whispering from the sunset glow. “Alexandra,” thick strain burdened Astra’s voice, “why do you stay?”

The endorphin haze persisted in muddling Alex’s head. “What?”

“I never believed you were settling. It does occur to me, though, the question of whether our paths would have crossed if you had never left Earth. If the planet survived and the life you led with her never ceased.”

Frustration provoked Alex to set her jaw. “What are you asking me?”

The pillowcase beneath Astra crinkled to her turning head. Alex felt the lips brush her crown before they turned up. She couldn’t see, but in her mind’s eye she pictured Astra staring up at the ceiling, eyes brimming with tears. Alex swallowed against the unseen vice around her throat and compelled her body to remain still.

Astra seized a deep breath. “Do you choose to be with me because I remind you of her or because I am… me?”

For however long these reservations had been buried, Astra still seemed to hold back. The question as well as her hesitation was contradictory to recent events. In the last year, their relationship had evolved to overwhelming peace of mind. They began expressing their feelings in words rather than stopping at physical gestures. Tenderness came with every passing day. No exception. No hesitation was necessary. Pleas to “make love” felt so right when the occasion called for it. They fell into a rhythm so natural they couldn’t remember who made the suggestion, but did it matter? Not one bit.

But Astra had her doubts and she was in good company for Alex entertained them too. How could they not? The lives they led were far outside the norm. The events that led Alex to Krypton surpassed the limits of imagination. They were not perfect. They made mistakes and conceived dreadful thoughts.

As fulfilling as her life with Astra and Jeremiah was now, the heart wrenching question caused Alex to pause. When she kissed Jeremiah goodnight earlier she lingered in remembrance for the woman who gave birth to him, the woman she left behind to die. It remained glaringly evident that Alex had not forgotten. The general-turned-mother sacrificed her life to make theirs possible. Could she have known that Alex would spend it laying in another woman’s arms? Was it an insult to her memory to neglect all the possible futures they could have shared? Lately, Alex had been focusing on what she had already. The Astra holding her now was not heedless or indifferent. Pining after a dead woman would have hurt her feelings as it would any living thing with a heart.

Conflicting intentions put a strain on Alex’s own heart. She wanted to remember the momentary yet significant time she spent with Astra on Earth but not at the expense of driving a wedge between her and this Astra.

At the back of Alex's mind and in the deepest recesses of her heart she needed the woman she fell in love with. The one who fell to Earth and became the worst test subject Alex had ever had. The woman she made a child with. In the three years she spent making a life on Krypton, she never once forgot that woman. She still felt tethered to that heart despite its ruin because what she had with Astra went beyond the flesh and a short-lived spark. It had to be. What else could she have been feeling otherwise?

Yet there was something about the Astra in her midst that was equally worth falling for. They had already made a connection that was being solidified in the name of their son. They were as bound to each other as she had been with Astra on Earth.

As with Rao and its ruddy hue, Alex could not be parted from her. Emotionally or physically. Their hips were touching and Astra reserved the right to possess her by an arm around her waist. They were as equal as sparring partners surveyed by Kryptonite emitters.

No matter how long it took to reach an answer, Alex always believed she owed it to Astra just as well as to herself. She tilted her head up and, without forethought, placed a kiss to the neck drying over in perspiration. “I love you,” she murmured, conviction supporting every syllable. “More than I ever thought possible.”

Save for the long puffing exhales, the body next to her remained still. Sleep had already taken Astra.

* * *

Within every soldier awaited an impeccably proficient alert system. In any crisis, large or small, an instinct is roused, causing the individual to enter various modes of vigilant defense which could include dive, duck, or tuck and roll. Against any enemy and the dodgiest of odds it was most important to find cover and know your exits in the blink of an eye. No soldier forgot. The rigorous drills were so ingrained in their reflexes it endured indefinitely. Alex would be grateful to her training for it saved her life and that of her son’s.

It happened one brisk winter noon just ten days after the team’s celebration. Alex was in her living room sporting a well chewed nail and wearing out the floor with her pacing. The news reports were flooding in, casting its hologram light on her worried features.

It had been thirty minutes since the first bellows started and by now there were crowds of angry protesters outside her complex five stories below. Alex didn’t care to go near the window to verify their numbers. She could hear their criticisms just fine from where she stood. Thank god they hadn’t broken through building security. She wouldn’t know where to go if fists started hammering the door.

Jeremiah remained at the dinner table where she had relegated him to at the time of the news break. He was too absorbed in constructing his spaceship to overhear. The massive project took up the entire table in a scattering of mini Lego-like pieces. Since Astra had helped him start it two weeks ago, they had been having their meals around the coffee table in the living room. Alex was completely fine with the arrangement until she found a juice spill on the sofa. He refused to build his spaceship anywhere else. Rao forbid they lay a fork on his ‘work table’ or else they’d earn a thunderous scream of disapproval. There was no doubt Jeremiah was entering his “No!” phase.

Nothing much persuaded his attention to stray, so Alex returned to the news. She couldn’t concentrate what with their spoiled plans. It was the weekend and Astra was at the lab. She promised to be away only for as long as it took to evaluate their recent test applicants. Alex and Jeremiah were awaiting her at home so they could have lunch in the park. He called Saturdays their “outy and abouty” days when they would have one meal out and enjoy an activity. That weekend one of Argo’s entertainment venues was hosting the Flying Jen-Sui's, a family of acrobats celebrated throughout Krypton and known for their high altitude calisthenics. Like all circus attractions, this was an event Jeremiah couldn’t pass up.

Any hopes of a quiet picnic and making the show on time were slipping like sand through her fingers. The moment Alex heard the noise of protesters outside, a foreboding sensation sprouted in her gut. Once the news was flipped on and the gist registered in mind, her stomach dropped. Any plans she had for the day and possibly for their future were shattered.

Suddenly, everything Alex had worked so hard for: her degree, respect amongst her colleagues, a safe home for Jeremiah, strengthening her relationship with Astra… It was all crumbling around her. Krypton was turning its back on her.

She gleaned the basics from the reports. Angry factions were seeking justice against the increasingly popular progressive agenda. Their scapegoats were none other than the human woman and her unsanctified child. The names of such groups were not being released which frustrated Alex most of all. How was she expected to protect her family if she didn’t know who to protect them from?

Alex's pacing halted at the droning sound of a vehicle emanated in the distance. Traffic lanes were too far from their location. There shouldn’t have been cause for a vehicle to come within such proximity. Then the windows began pulsing.

In an abrupt sequence of events, the walls groaned and furniture began jittering over the unstable floor. A crash sounded from the foyer which would no doubt result in a puddle of water, shards, and wilted flowers. Plastic representations of a hyperdrive spilled over the dining table and showering the floor in pieces. Jeremiah’s breath caught audibly.

While Alex’s eyes were on the wide ones of her son, the drone exploded into a monstrous growl. She turned around only to be blinded by headlights. The vehicle targeted the living room with an intense white light. Alex shielded her eyes on instinct and heard the subsequent shouts from behind transparisteel. The vocal barrage turned into a crash of glass.

A soldier never forgot. Even an ex-DEO agent like Alex didn’t allow those maneuvers to slip from memory. They were as innate as Killer T-cells rooting out a virus. Her instincts sprang into action before her brain ever caught up. The adrenaline kicked in and flooded her veins like pure lightening.

“Jeremiah!”

He scarcely blinked before Alex seized him around the waist and was pulling him down behind the sofa. She hovered over him, both of them on their hands and knees while she pressed into his back. The blood rushing in her ears was deafening and it could not wholly be blamed on the proximity of the vehicle’s engine.

Huddled behind cover, Alex clutched Jeremiah to her chest and acted like seamless Kevlar around his precious little figure. He was trembling in confusion and to the chill funneling through the broken window, but not a peep came from his mouth. Even if she had the voice to assure him, neither of them would hear it. The engine disbarred any sound.

But it didn’t last for long. The vibrations evened out beneath Alex’s knees, bringing the furniture and wall décor to a standstill. The blinding light was replaced by Rao’s natural ruby-orange rays. Judging by the wailing of a horn, the perpetrators were being chased off by authorities.

There was no time for sighs of relief. When the coast was clear, Alex hustled Jeremiah across the living room, down the corridor, and into a bedroom. There was no time, she told herself. Don’t drop your guard. Don’t take silence as ceasefire. That window was made to withstand gale force winds during rainy season. Just moments ago it shattered in a spray of tiny beads. Whatever their attackers used, it ripped through the reinforced transparisteel like Christmas wrapping paper.

“Stay where I can see you,” Alex commanded. Her voice carried an unyielding quality like titanium. She pressed him to the wall near the closet. “Don’t go near the windows.”

He nodded, more in fear of upsetting his mother than himself. He must not have recognized her in this state. If Alex had been paying attention, she wouldn’t have recognized herself either. Three years was a long time and the divide between Agent Danvers and Alexandra Danvers of Krypton was just as extensive. But it all came back, the training, the vigilance, the adrenaline, like a cold snap.

The closet door whooshed open for Alex’s hands to thrust in. She parted the assortment of black uniforms and day wear to expose the wall behind. Spying from the corner of her eye, she made sure Jeremiah hadn’t strayed. Confident in the little heels hugging the wall, she reached in to press her hand flat against the drywall. A hiss sounded and the hidden panel popped open to reveal the interior safe containing two blasters and a box of chargers. The pistols were made from a combination of chrome and organic material. When loaded, they could dispense heated plasma with the power to tear through living tissue.

Alex took one of the pistols. She slipped in the power cell and double checked that the blaster was fully charged; just as Astra taught her and Uncle Misha taught his receptive young niece. The weight of a weapon in Alex’s hand calmed her nerves, however it did not come without a sense of homesickness.

“Laylee, what’s that for?”

“For protection, baby.” He went rigid for a second and she stooped down to take his cheek in her hand. “It’s nothing to worry about. We’re safe here. No one can get to us.”

The softened caliber of her voice alleviated Jeremiah’s tension. His eyebrows rose expectantly and he asked, “Except for Mama, though, right?”

“Of course. She’ll be home soon and we’ll all be together safe and sound.”

Alex reached into her back pocket to retrieve her comm device. There were no new messages. Instead of dwelling on it, she opened up a communiqué and typed three words.

_Come home. Now._

A trill confirmed that the message had been sent. Alex waved her thumb reverently through the contact pop up before returning the device to her pocket and taking Jeremiah by the shoulders.

“You okay?”

He nodded.

“We have to stay here for a while – just until Mama comes home. And we need to use our night time voices. Can you do that?”

Jeremiah looked down at the blaster tucked in her waistband. “Why don’t you stop them?”

A spike of nostalgia and adrenaline raised Alex’s heart rate. She was conflicted. If circumstances were different, if she were still an agent and not a mother, she would have hauled ass out of there, gun leading, and been ready to blow holes into those cowards. 

Alex tilted her head sadly and cupped his face in her hands. “Jeremiah, I’m much more concerned with keeping you safe. A blaster is not going to stop them from changing their opinions.”

He shifted from one foot to the other, fingers absently plucking at her sleeves. “But what if they come back?”

Alex fought the urge to hold her own face in her hands. It would only exhibit her worry and that was the last thing her son needed to see at the moment. She couldn’t tell him the truth because if they did come back she would put plasma holes in their skulls. Not the most confident image to send a distressed child.

But when Alex raised her head she found no trace of distress. He stared back with nothing but concern for her. She shouldn’t have been surprised. This was her smart, brave boy. Progeny of brains, brawn, and wit. The best of both worlds.  

Instead of coddling him, she faced the fact that he would not always remain a four-year-old child. “If those people come back,” she said, pulling him closer without realizing, “we will be ready because we are together. No one gets between us. Remember what we told you about that?”

He rubbed his nose with a squint. “Ah, yeeah.”

“And what did Mama and I say?”

“Family bonds us,” he recited tediously.

“That’s stronger than anything, right?”

“Right.”

“Good.” Alex emphasized it with a squeeze to his sides. She smiled and laughter ensued because she knew full well what would come next.

He erupted into fits of giggles that offset his balance and allowed him to be easily scooped into her embrace. “ _Moommyyy_ ,” he squealed into her shoulder, “we supposted to use our nighty voices.”

Alex heart melted to the little fingers gathering toughs of her shirt. He was the best hugger in that he exerted such emotion into physical gestures. No other child on Krypton had such freedom of expression. She and Astra taught him to never hold back even if the other children didn’t show similar signs.

She hugged him close and peppered kisses into his hair. “See? That’s why you’re here. To keep me in line, General.”

Jeremiah’s entire body vibrated from burying his zeal. The sheer thought of leading lines of valiant soldiers puffed up his courage. At the height of his amusement, though, he let slip a, “Tee-heeheee.”

When the giggles subsided and Alex could finally wrest her arms from around Jeremiah, she sat him down on the bed. There would be no leaving the room until it was guaranteed safe. Alex hoped Astra would use those mad driving skills because she couldn’t do this on her own. She needed Astra home.

To occupy Jeremiah in the meantime, Alex retrieved the datapad from her bedside and brought a game up. Jeremiah, though, scrunched his face and panned between her and the colorful animals on display.

“But I’m not _supposted_ to. I get in trouble.”

“That’s never stopped you before.”

He returned her pointed look with a dubious expression. “I can play?”

Chuckling, she tousled his head. “Just this one time, mister.”

With Jeremiah adequately distracted, she powered up the bedroom’s television. The hologram flourished above the smooth surface. She flipped from one channel to the next. When she halted on another news bulletin, the scrolling Kryptonese symbols spouted the same nonsense as the other networks. It was like they were all conspiring against her. She wouldn’t be surprised if they had planned this day from the moment news broke of her arrival on Krypton. They had always been gunning for humans just as they were now harassing human sympathizers. They being the media. They being the government. Krypton, as a whole, had had enough.

But that wasn’t entirely true. Alex bent the facts for fear of lending too much optimism to her dire situation. She failed to remind herself that a rising minority was calling for looser restrictions and more freedom of expression. A wave of discourse was sweeping the planet. Many reforms coming out of the dialogue were concerning scientific research. Scientists in every field from astronomy to geology wanted the ban on exogalactic travel lifted.[1] There was a wealth of information just waiting to be mined and the possibilities of eclipsing their current knowledge of medicine, architecture, and technology were endless.

In addition, arguments were being held over the value of genetic assignment. Kryptonian society, governed by strict population control, was at the mercy of the Codex. Some parents sought to exceed the two child limit while others wanted to exercise their right to decline children. And an even growing number were starting to see the harmlessness of refusing their predetermined role in society.

The majority in favor of staying the course consisted of guilds and councils – governmental bodies tasked with the protection of traditionalist policies or the ‘tried and true way of life’ as they called it. High caste citizens lent their support for it was rule of law that kept their defenses high and their dues low.

Those advocating for diminished intervention by Law and Behavior were comprised of scientists who knew well the struggle against regulations. Alex found it difficult to trust these men and women. At one time they were scrambling to get a piece of Jeremiah and his mixed blood. Like he was a specimen. She seethed and asserted her boot heel through her pacing. Jeremiah wasn’t some anomaly of nature. He was her _son_ , someone who had ten fingers and ten toes, talked with his mouth full, giggled when he stole fingers into Kara’s paints, and threw the most wicked tantrums when he didn’t get his way. He was as normal as four-year-old boys came and whom still couldn’t sleep without his Karhu.

But a lot had changed in three years. Alex Danvers, PhD and regarded scientist at the Institute of Experimental Technology, was not to be pitied. The researchers who once voiced experimental interest in Jeremiah came to accept her and, by extension, the son she would pass on such Kryptonian tenacity to.

According to Astra, the Warrior Guild was divided. As the most influential guild, it received continuous pressure from the Council of Law and Behavior to keep citizens in line. Though bound by council law, warriors retained their own set of principles as did all guilds. While one camp remained beholden to the authority of the High Council, the other supported more progressive leadership, most notably from Astra. Astra, who devoted her career to helping veterans. Many had served with her uncle and respected the long line of Ze soldiers. Even if one of its daughters refused assignment into their ranks, they respected her initiative. They were more than willing to stand up not only for her research but for the pride of her human family.

All the same, Krypton was at war, a war incited by rebellion, and Alex and Jeremiah were at its epicenter.

 

[1]Exogalactic travel refers to travel outside one’s galaxy. The ban allowed Kryptonians the freedom to voyage and engage in foreign commerce within their own galaxy but not outside of it.


	10. The Hours

 What does it matter that my love could not keep her?  
The night is full of stars, and she is not with me.

Pablo Neruda

The scrolling message on Alex’s communication device was followed by a high-pitched tone from the foyer. They went to the front door, she with her gun drawn and Jeremiah staring down the door with laser-like focus. He clutched the back of her belt, emphasizing (if unconsciously) that backup was there if she needed it.

Soon enough, they realized no backup was necessary. Unless, of course, it helped to peel Alura off of Alex.

“By Rao’s light.” Alura withdrew to catch Alex by the elbows. She pinned her with wide-eyed concern. “Are you hurt? Did they get into the apartment?” 

Zor, a full 90 seconds behind his wife, caught up to them and eyed the blaster being tucked back into a waistband. “I think she’s fine, Alura.”

“ _Zor_. Not now.” Alura’s eyes darted between Alex and Jeremiah, checking for cuts, bruises, and underlying trauma. “What happened? We were held up in traffic when the news broke.”

Alex had never seen Alura’s eyebrow knit quite so animatedly. “Just some broken glass. They damaged the window and drove off. It’s okay.” She squeezed assurance into Alura’s arms. “We were a little rattled, but we’re okay now.”

Jeremiah didn’t have to see the prompting in his mother’s nod. Alura and Zor were expecting his assessment, so he delivered. <I’m okay,> he spoke in fluent Kryptonese. Astra taught him the importance of both languages and to identify which was necessary in a given situation, especially in front of people outside their circle. Even if his Aunt Alura and Uncle Zor were family, they did not constitute the special bond between him and his mothers. He craned his head back to latch eyes onto Alex and took her hand, swinging it idly. <Laylee's okay, too.>

Alex squeezed his hand in approval. Before she could open her mouth, a shuffling of boots came from outside the door. She instinctively pulled Jeremiah behind her and drew her pistol.

“There’s nothing to fear.” Zor held up a cautionary hand and opened the door. A man and woman in slick armor appeared within the frame. They each bore rifles. “This is Major Has-Jin and Lieutenant Tahl-Fi.”

“My lady,” the armored major greeted in smooth English.

The lieutenant saved her words and bowed respectfully.

It occurred to Alex that she still had her pistol out. Biting the inside of her cheek, she returned it to her belt as a sign of goodwill. She looked to Zor. “Security guards?  How did you manage that?”

“My weight in the Science Council has given me authorization to post two armed patrols outside the apartment. They are for your safety and will only enter if you, Misha, or Astra are in need of assistance. However, it looks like you have that covered for the most part.”

“Oh,” a prideful smirk surfaced as she touched the chrome handle, “this little thing?”

Major Has tilted his head. “The E-7 Stinger may be small, my lady, but it packs what some may call a ‘wallop.’ Their size makes them ideal for home protection, which is why, in these restless times, they are difficult to come by.”

Alex smiled in memory of how the kickback launched her backward and left her sprawled on her instructor. A long time ago, when she had settled in as a permanent resident, Astra had taken her out to the Shade Canyon cabin to instruct her in Kryptonian weaponry. It took several trials and some practical (yet suggestive) hip positioning before Alex could handle the recoil.

“Astra doesn’t spare any expense when it comes to home protection.” Alex turned to address the unusually silent Alura. “A broken window isn’t enough to warrant a security force, so what aren’t you telling me? I’d be quick about it because Astra will be back soon and I’d hate to see these nice officers get a beating.”

“Zor and I didn’t know your situation here,” Alura explained. “The news is not reporting an attack despite the crowd of witnesses outside. According to my sources in the council, a militant faction has developed out of the Coalition for Moral Order. Their rhetoric is the same: protect pure-blood ideology at all costs. The faction, apparently, has been recruiting underground for the past three cycles. They spread word of you and…” Alura dropped her gaze to the wandering attention of Jeremiah and lowered her voice, “… what they call the ‘impure child,’ hoping to get a reaction. This hateful, xenophobic screaming from the pulpit is inadmissible, I know, but it has galvanized much of the public who have been waiting for someone to give voice to their beliefs. The intolerance toward foreigners is deeply seeded in Kryptonian culture and it will not go quietly.”

“What is Law and Behavior doing about this?”

“They are dragging their feet, waiting out the spark that flames the public so to speak. The council is not known, however, to ignore an uprising. A great many are calling for reparations.”

“Reparations?” Alex frowned. “From what?”

Alura shot a look at Zor before turning back. Ambiguity clouded her expression but Alex knew her well enough to detect the dread churning beneath. Alura swallowed, the crinkles deepening around her eyes. “Remember when we first met? I told you Misha was a threat to Krypton’s order.”

“Yes.” The word scraped Alex’s throat on the way out. She cleared her throat. “He is a natural born child. The first of human and Kryptonian blood.”

Alura nodded. “And that has offset the delicate balance Law and Behavior has spent centuries defending. Now the council is being threatened from both sides: the progressives who call for change and the traditionalists who demand their own brand of justice. Shifting political tides are putting them in a difficult position, which is why their response is lagging.” She paused, hands clinging restlessly. “You should know, Alexandra, that the people who attacked you and Misha today… There is no doubt in my mind that they are aligned with the underground faction.”

Alex’s hand slipped out of Jeremiah’s to rest on his shoulder. “The one that developed out of the Coalition for Moral Order,” she said, already panicked by the repercussions of that statement.

“Yes,” Alura confirmed softly, “and both groups are calling Krypton’s safety into question. They believe you and Misha pose a threat to their lifestyle.”

A scourge of trepidation rippled through Alex. Her head snapped down to find Jeremiah chewing on the collar of his shirt, a habit she and Astra disapproved of even if it seemed to mitigate stress. Instead of listening to political talk between the adults, his curiosity was fixed on the gleaming armor of the guards.

The thought of losing him to these intolerable ‘ideals’ rocked her down to her foundations. She was dizzy with terror and weakening at the knees. This was not how it was supposed to be. Astra didn’t give her life on Earth just for her only child to be slain before the age of five. Alex caught him by the shoulder and pressed him against her thigh, for his protection and her peace of mind.

She stared directly at Alura. “Who is leading this faction?

“No one person has taken responsibility, but the Coalition is under the leadership of representative Fal-Nor. He is riling up the masses and inciting them to violence.” Astra shook her head, distraught beyond words. “It is like nothing I’ve seen before. This is not the Kryptonian way. As an advanced society, we have learned from the mistakes other civilizations have made in war. We are far too sensible to resort to violence.”

Zor gave her reprieve with a hand to her back. “As Major Has said, these are restless times. Fear of change has a way of making us forget ourselves. I don’t think –“

The sound of racing boot heels echoed outside. “What is this?“

Astra shouldered through the guards before they could register her face. When they did, their rifles were lowered.

Astra froze upon seeing the broken vase of flowers. Her fingers twitched to the subtle breeze coming in from the living room. When her eyes landed on Alex, she didn’t flinch, breathe, or speak a word. She did nothing but rush forward and take Alex in her arms.

Alex closed her eyes and breathed out in relief. They were together. Everything would be alright. She shivered to the exhales tickling her ear. Astra was holding her like brittle china. The caution frustrated Alex who had been pacing in wait for bone straining assurance. She needed that strength, so she pressed all ten fingertips into Astra’s back to encourage more feeling.

“Alexandra.” Heartache made Astra’s voice perilously thin and unstable. She let her hand slide warmly down Alex’s back before releasing her. She let go only to be gripped by the boy standing beside them. An inarticulate gasp choked out. She picked him up in a bone crushing hug.

Alex looked on, failing to repress the stab of jealousy. Her son had all the strength of a Kryptonian, perfectly sturdy enough to take the brunt of his mother’s love.

“Mama, are we still going to see the Flying Jen-Sui's?”

Astra receded, face drooping. “Oh, I don’t know, Misha. Probably not today. I’m sorry.”

His sagged like he held the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Okay,” he sighed and wrapped his arms back around her neck and laid his head down.

She responded by tightening her grip in his shirt and burrowing her nose in his hair. She did so at the risk of revealing the depth of affection between her and her son. There was no stopping it despite the audience. There would be no parting them now. Even for the sake of keeping ill events from his ears.

Astra turned to Alex and continued the private moment by asking softly, “You are both alright?”

“It’s nothing serious.” She lay her hand to the small of Astra’s back. “We’re fine.”

Fretful lines glared back. Astra knew this was anything but a coincidence. “Do _not_ make light of this,” she countered. “This is serious. You and Misha could have been hurt.”

Alura must have known she would receive the brunt of her sister’s temper sooner or later. She shifted her weight and clasped the evidence of her wringing guilt behind her back.

Astra’s head snapped around to deliver a barrage of animosity. “What in the name of Rao is going on? I thought you took care of this. Why have they come back?”

“It is difficult to explain, Astra.”

“ _Try_.”

Alura did so in a very calm manner. Growing up with one such as Astra gave her the experience to deal with the moods and insolence. Astra’s coarseness always rubbed abrasively against her sense of ethics, but that never stopped her from trying to see her sister’s side of things. Even short of understanding, she still coveted Astra’s nonconformity in aspects of her career (choosing her own path and developing controversial research) and personal life what with adopting a child and bonding herself to a human.

Alex knew Alura was brimming with curiosities over the way her twin lived her life. She knew because Alura had told her in confidence. All this time, Astra thought she was the shadow struggling to eke out a living. So often she tried to stray from Alura’s standards when it was Alura who had been seeking to follow in her footsteps.

The irony of how their jealousies and misunderstandings mirrored those of Alex and her sister was glaring. For so long Alex had to accept that age and human privilege meant nothing when strength and speed received more forgiveness from their parents, bigger scoops of ice cream when a fire hydrant had been accidentally knocked over, and tighter hugs after a plane full of innocents were rescued.

She used to walk in the shadow of a cape, wondering what life would be like if they were just Alex and Kara instead of Supergirl and Agent Danvers. But then Astra came along and then Jeremiah and no longer did Alex wonder. She had been far too preoccupied with her new family to notice envious, heartsick eyes. She no longer needed Supergirl’s protection, something Kara had taken for granted those three long years in the limelight.

At the moment, Alura was getting almost too grand a view from Astra’s side and realizing the grass was always redder.

“If I understand correctly,” Astra said, brow furrowing, “the anti-human zealots are demanding compensation for something my child cannot help. What exactly do they expect the High Council to do?”

“Nothing definitive at the moment. Even if the council comes to a decision, I would be the last to know. My allegiances there are on shaky ground. If anyone comes forward, it will be those of the faction that caused the attack here today.”

“Is Qora one of them?”

“I do not know, Astra.”

“It makes sense considering this all started with her.” Astra’s back stiffened even as her hold on Jeremiah remained gentle. The tension that so often gathered in the valley between her shoulder blades was visible in her posture. She tucked her head down and muttered lowly. “I left my son with her. How could a mother do that?”

Alex frowned in contention. “You couldn’t have known. Qora is your cousin.”

“Was. She is no family of mine.”

They had this discussion before. Many nights were spent gripping foreheads, wrestling with the mistake they never should have made and placing faith in a person who posed so little suspicion. Astra had a more difficult time overcoming the event. She was no stranger to betrayal. There was very little Alex could say now that she hadn’t said already, so she resigned to rubbing the strain from Astra’s back.

“Alura,” the name came startlingly pleading from Astra’s mouth, “there must be human sympathizers who work at Law and Behavior. Alexandra and Misha need protection from the government. It will send a direct message to anyone thinking about coming back here and threatening our family. The council must defend their right to safety. They are citizens of Argo.”

“Jeremiah is legally adopted,” Alura said, “so there is no question that there are protections there, but Alexandra is a different case. She has been granted temporary citizenship, nothing more.”

“A technicality that can easily be rectified. We will simply petition the council to grant her equal privileges.”

Zor raised a brow. “Full citizenship to a human? It has never been done in the history of Krypton. Based on the peaking anti-human sentiment, I hardly think the status quo will change for one human.”

“Excuse me,” Alex cut in coolly, “but I think I’ve earned the right to be considered more than this ‘one human.’ If not to Argo City or the Institute then to your family at the very least.”

“Alexandra is right,” Alura said, turning to her husband. “She has been with us these three cycles and given us no reason to distrust her. She is Misha’s mother and companion to my sister. She is family, Zor. Let us not forget that.”

Astra was shaking her head. “This is unacceptable. How can the council stand by while my family is being shot at?” She directed her glare to Alura. “Are these the kind of people you choose to work for?” She then whirled on Zor, curling a lip to make sure he did not misunderstand her. “Since the day I took Project Valor public, the Science Council has been doing everything in their power to undermine its promoting. Now they have authorized three cycles of funding to my research and where are they now? I am nothing to them but a vessel who makes their presence relevant. Is this the establishment the noble House of El aligns itself with?”

“ _Astra_ ,” Alura sighed heavily. "You cannot make war with the whole of Krypton. Provoking a reaction will not help Alexandra or Misha. We must proceed diplomatically.”

“A wealth of good that has done us.”

“There is something that we have not yet taken into consideration,” Alura said, mouth twisting in discomfort. “I have not brought it up before because the scandal faded. Now that it is back and in full force, I’m afraid we cannot ignore it.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asked. Her wariness caught at Astra’s tightening muscles.

“If Alexandra wishes to be recognized as a full citizen, she will be held accountable to our laws. Consequently, she would be guilty of conceiving a natural birth even though it occurred before her citizenship.”

Alex looked to Alura, Zor, and Astra before landing on the brown curls of her son. “I thought your evolution made natural births impossible. Why is it even a law?”

“It has always been taboo to engage in physical intimacies,” Alura said. “The legality of procreation is a non-issue, nevertheless, it is written. If you ask me, the council has used it as a contingency plan. The risk of a Kryptonian becoming pregnant and having a natural birth would put our technology as well as our biology into question. No one likes weaknesses in the ranks. We have grown so accustomed to the birthing matrix that the idea of any other option seems inconceivable – near shameful.”

Astra shifted on her feet, clearly unsettled by something. “I don’t understand. Why would Alexandra be held accountable if she did not give birth to Misha? For all the public know, I am responsible.”

“That’s not exactly true,” Zor mumbled gently. He looked up from the pocket tablet he’d been scrolling through. “Social media forums are alight with sentiment. There are suspicions that…” he cleared his throat and continued at a decibel Jeremiah wouldn’t overhear, “… that Astra is of no legitimate relation to him. They believe Alexandra engaged in other, a-hem, other affairs before Astra and that the boy’s lineage is that of another Kryptonian. I, uh… on second thought,” he broke away from Astra’s blazing cheeks and clicked off his device, “it’s just drivel. Forget it.”

“Let me see.” Alex strode forward, holding out her hand, and delivering a look that would not go unheeded. “ _Zor_.”

A long sigh rushed out and he gave her the tablet.

She flicked it on quickly and read through the so-called drivel. It didn’t take long. The words ‘whore of humanity’s making’ stood out like a bawdy neon signboard. Shit, she thought. If Astra saw this…

“What does it say?”

Alex stiffened. She did not have the nerve to put them in even greater danger. The last thing she and Jeremiah needed was for Astra to go flying off the handle over the Kryptonian equivalent of a Tweet.

“Zor’s right. It’s just drivel.” Alex practically threw the device at him (he fumbling to catch and pocket it before prying eyes could see) and turned to distract Astra by rubbing a hand along her arm. “Let’s just focus on the facts, shall we? The Coalition and this not-so-underground faction want justice. The High Council doesn’t want to rock the boat – cause trouble so to speak. What if we just disappear for a while? Wait all this out at the cabin.” She shrugged, biting her lip for lack of a better solution. “It worked last time.”

Jeremiah perked up at once, fist striking the air. “Let’s go to the fire house!”

Alex rumpled his hair, barely able to keep the smile alive. If he actually knew why they had to leave, there would be no rejoicing. If they went to the cabin, it would not be a vacation.

“Let us not be hasty,” Alura cautioned. “We still have nothing to go on but conjecture. Allow Zor and I time to make inquiries. I will contact my sources within the High Council and see if there have been any developments.”

Zor nodded with her. “I have informants as well. Don’t lose heart yet. There is plenty of time to prepare a defense.”

Astra eyed the soldiers posted outside the door. “And these guards?”

“They are trustworthy. I can assure you.”

“That does not inspire confidence.”

Alex squeezed her arm. “Astra, please.”

Astra’s jaw tightened, indicating how difficult it was to back down. She was normally putty in Alex’s hands but when it came to the safety of her family, she’d raise her hackles before anyone, even Alex.

She hiked Jeremiah higher on her hip and reasserted her hand on his back. “They can remain outside the doorway. No closer.”

“Done.” Zor nodded to the guards who obediently went to their posts. He started to leave when he felt a presence lacking. “Alura?”

Alura’s eyes shifted from Astra to Zor. She seemed conflicted – prepared to stay and lend emotional support and yet duty bound to make a difference. “We will return soon, sister.” Her eyes softened considerably on Jeremiah and Alex. “Take care of them.”

Zor, weaving his fingers through hers, encouraged her to retreat with a gentle pull. They stepped out together and the doors hissed shut behind them.

A cold tension seized the apartment. From where they stood in the foyer, the sound of whistling wind could be heard from afar. Before Alex could consider the structural damage of their window, she was being taken by the chin and extended up to meet Astra’s mouth in a kiss. The arm slipping round her waist pressed her forward and Alex nearly sobbed in relief. It’s what she wanted all along: to feel the power and confidence seizing her in ownership. She belonged to Astra in every sense just as Astra belonged to her. They consented in a bracing kiss that expressed a wealth of understanding, an understanding of shared burden. There was no hesitation when it came to the boy sheltered by their promise.

Alex spoke before her lips left Astra’s. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she rushed, returning the kiss to cement the words.

“I belong nowhere else.” Astra slowed her down with soft pecks that navigated to her cheek. She placed the last to the crinkled corner of Alex’s eye, soothing the worry fraught within. “Nowhere but here.”

“Mama, do I get a kiss?”

Jeremiah’s sleepy request had them shaking in delightful laughter. While Astra let loose a barrage of forehead kisses, Alex hugged her arms around them both and pressed her cheek to his back. She breathed deeply, content with the giggles vibrating against her ear.

* * *

“We can’t ignore this,” said Alex. She was looking at Astra across from her. Outside their bedroom, where they had put Jeremiah down, an air of tension mounted. They mirrored each other in crossed arms and unvoiced dejection. “Astra, you can’t just sweep it under the rug like it never happened.”

Astra gave no indication that she heard. She continued to stare at the floor, detached from emotions she had every right to be feeling. Her head turned, gaze constant with the carpet, until her chin touched her shoulder. Away from reason as it were.

Alex’s inability to help the situation brought her to sigh. There was no convincing Astra. She had been like this since putting Jeremiah down. When his aunt and uncle had left earlier, he had asked again if they were going to make it to see the Flying Jen-Sui's. He pleaded with them until tears pooled in his eyes. It didn’t occur to him that the incident earlier with the broken window had anything to do with their sudden change of plans. Nothing much grabbed a four-year-old’s attention but what was within their ability to grasp. He couldn’t do anything about the window and for all intents and purposes he had forgotten how distressed his mothers had been at the time. All that registered in his mind was disappointment at not being able to go to the circus.

His discontent edged dangerously close towards a tantrum. They knew the warning signs and how to circumvent it. She and Astra pacified him in due time with lunch and an activity all three of them could partake in. Jeremiah’s attentions were distracted most successfully when both of them participated. The only thing better than showing his spaceship building skills to Astra was showing her and Alex at the same time. Their combined smiles and compliments bolstered his spirits to impossible heights. There was nothing more satisfying to him than making his parents proud. In effect, he showed them every single accomplishment down to the smallest drawing on the soggiest napkin.

Since neither Alex nor Astra had the stomach for food, they subsisted on their son’s smiles and laughter. Nothing else would do the trick. Nothing much ever had for either of them. They put him down for a late afternoon nap and all disappointment at missing his Flying Jen-Sui's faded amid snores. It was easy for him. He did not perceive of an outside world as they did. For Alex, pulling through meant staring down the problem. For Astra, at the moment, it meant turning a blind eye.

“You know we don’t have the luxury of making friends,” Alex continued. By now her voice was sounding like the only resident in the apartment. “Considering the anti-human sentiment of late, we should be lucky Major Has and Lieutenant Tahl have accepted the posting.”

On the outside, Astra appeared calm and cool, giving no symptoms of anger or sorrow or helplessness. She did not rage at those responsible for threatening her son. She did not cower from the repercussions that were about to crash in like an unrepentant tide. Her face expressed confidence, yet inside she brewed. Alex knew her. She knew what was going on underneath and it frightened her because maybe Astra could see the future. Perhaps she knew what news Alura would bring and what would have to be done. Alex’s skin crawled in terror because Astra knew and she wasn’t telling her.

“It’s bad. I know.” Alex hugged her arms tighter against her chest until her ribs ached. “But you can’t expect me to stand idly by. So… okay, maybe the cabin wasn’t the best idea. Let’s just nip this in the bud and be done with it. Alura will manage our case. I’ll do whatever is necessary to obtain full citizenship and if that means getting arrested for a ridiculous crime than I’ll fight it. I’ve been doing it all my adult life. I’m not about to lay down like some lamb for slaughter just because they feel a little vulnerable.” She frowned at having not received a response. Not a twitch. “ _Astra!_ ”

A chortle puffed from Astra. Her shoulders jumped with her amusement which rolled into hearty chuckling. She raised her head and met Alex with a provoking smile and a shake of her head. “How is it that you can be so naïve?” Her amazement left her squinting and her jaw faintly slack. “A reigning majority of this planet is demanding your exile and your solution is to shoot from the hip.”

“It wasn’t long ago that you threatened to take on Law and Behavior and the Science Council all at once,” growled Alex. “Don’t you dare call me naïve when _I_ was the one who got attacked today.”

“Which is further cause to keep your head low. If you respond in kind, it will be all over the news and you would be substantiating their perception of humans as reckless, uncultured savages. They _want_ you to retaliate.”

“I’m not a politician, Astra. I don’t do talking. I didn’t spend six months in field training just to sit on my ass and let my life blow up before my eyes. If someone makes the mistake of intimidating me, I get my gun and I make them sorry. That’s my job.”

“You are not that person anymore, Alexandra. You are on Krypton now and you are raising a son and making a peaceful place for him to live. We do not bring violence into this house.”

“It’s already here!” Alex exclaimed, cheeks aflame. “What is going on with you? Where is the woman who decked that civilian three cycles ago? You showed me how to handle a blaster for god’s sake. Am I missing something here? Because I thought we were on the same page when it came to protecting Jeremiah.”

Astra endured with a deep breath. The longer they argued the more transparent she became. All her toil surfaced upon exhale. “Our parenting methods are not in question. What is in question is your conduct. I do not mean the conduct for which you have been wrongfully slandered but your forthcoming behavior. Petitioning the High Council for full citizenship may be successful but it will drudge up attention, most of which would affect you negatively. This family does not need to incur any further notice. Misha cannot have memory of this.”

“He may not remember it but Krypton will. We won’t be able to keep this from him when he’s older.” Alex tilted her head, chest burning in regret. “Children can be cruel. His peers will make sure he knows how unwanted he is. So whatever attention you think we’re going to receive, it’s unavoidable whether I remain silent or not.”

“Alexandra,” Astra shook her head, diverting her gaze to a more practical emphasis, “you think too much.”

The brush off felt so course her eyes stung. Alex clenched her jaw to aching distraction. That was the last straw.

“That’s rich coming from you,” she spat, pushing off the wall and marching away.

She couldn’t be around Astra. The pistol’s grip was digging into her back and she was afraid the temptation might be too strong.

* * *

“Is everything alright?”

Alura shot a look between the two of them. Alex was leaning back against the cooling unit, chin tucked in and glaring daggers. Astra, the target of such loathing, sat on the sofa several lengths away. Her head was propped by a hand and she seemed to support all her troubles in the act.

“Have I…” Alura wet her lips, searching for the appropriate word, “… come at a bad time?”

Astra’s eyes rolled up and over. She scratched her head with a single finger and held back a groan. “Everything is ‘okay’ as they say.”

“Yeah,” Alex muttered from afar, knowing she could be heard from Kandor, “just peachy.”

An evident rift stretched between them, physically as well as emotionally. Alura’s brow arched in recognition. Like Alex, she too folded her arms but unlike Alex she did not do so to combat interrogation. She was all too aware how her status as a judge came into play and perhaps they were justified in their short tempers. They needed to snap at someone. It might as well have been their mediator. Alura sighed heavily. Of all the possible specialties available to study during her training, this was exactly why she hadn’t chosen estate law or, Rao forbid, divorce law.

As she stood between the living room and the kitchen – no man’s land as it were – the billowing tarp caught her eye. Since she and Zor had left, someone must have seen to the broken window with a short-term solution. The thick tarp and super adhesive foam did the trick quite nicely by keeping out the cold air as well as any spectators. It was long past dusk and, despite the temporary fix, a chill set in.

“You came bearing news?”

Astra’s voice came as a shock. The cool eyes staring in Alura’s direction caused the hair on her arms to raise. She clasped her hands together, tightening until she could feel her blood pulsate, and let go. One hand drooped to her side while the other lay on her stomach. Worriment churned within her. She did not want to come that night but Zor insisted. He even offered to accompany her as support. Alura bit back laughter. If her husband had any sense of self-preservation, he would stay far away from Astra In-Ze. Frankly, so should she for the news to come would not be welcome.

Alura felt her cheeks pale. Sweet Rao, she thought. Astra is going to throw me out of that window.

“Alura, just spit it out.”

Alex shuffled her feet and reestablished herself against the cooling unit. For however relieving it felt on her back, it did not appear to cool her gruff temperament.

“I spoke to my contacts at work,” Alura said. She sensed how her hand rose and fell with the measured breath. “The councilmen have reached a consensus and they are expected to send an emissary here tomorrow with an ultimatum. Seeing as I am aware of the particulars I thought it best to deliver the news before you hear it from someone… well, impersonal.”

“An ultimatum?” Alex’s curiosity melted her edges. “I don’t like the sound of that.”

Alura didn’t like the look of her. Alex was starting to fidget from the hands tightening within the folds of her arms and the twitching of her brow. Her heart, so resilient for a human, had just quickened at the mere mention of ‘ultimatum.’

The panic stirring within her dismayed Alura. She was so very fond of Alexandra. Her regard for the woman bordered on sisterly affection. There was no other explanation for the rending of her own heart. While the Earthly notion of sisterhood was at odds with Krypton’s understanding of it, Alura had grown accustomed to the concept. No longer did she wonder how her daughter on Earth could bond herself to a human in such a manner. Alura had no regrets. She felt no shame. In fact, she was downright proud to call herself family to this remarkable human being. Which made her news all the more painful to deliver.

Alura looked between them and judged the best course. She turned to face Alex directly, holding her station to afford breathing room. “The councilmen do not want to grant you full citizenship. It will make them look weak and they would prefer to avoid that scenario. This militant faction that has risen is demanding compensation. The council has decided to give it to them but on their own terms. In effect, they are offering you two options. The first is to remain a temporary citizen. Seeking legal claim on Jeremiah would be impossible in that case. Krypton would never see you as its equal, which is exactly the kind of humiliation these people want. This option may not sound appealing, but it will allow you to stay and continue your work.”

Alex worked her jaw. “What is the other option?”

“You may apply for citizenship. And the council will authorize it if only to appease the reformist opposition. As soon as you become a citizen, you will be charged with sedition and be imprisoned.” Alura blinked, nearly choking over the tightening of throat. “For life.”

“What prison?”

The stripped voice had Alura turning to its owner, Astra. She looked like she hadn’t seen the light of Rao in weeks. Her blanched cheeks gleamed in the soft glow of the living room. "The Phantom Zone."

<Fuck> came the muffled curse. Alex had buried her head in her hands.

“That is the ultimatum?” Astra asked. Save for her eyes darting across the floor, she remained still.

“Yes.”

Alex surfaced from her hands. “You’re saying I have to choose between being an outcast on Krypton and damning Jeremiah to be the bastard son of a human or spending the rest of my short life in prison.” Alex gave a humorless bark of laughter. “How much time do I have to decide this?”

“Three days.”

“That’s just…” Alex threw up a hand and proceeded to pace in the kitchen.

Face falling, Alura looked to Astra who was scrubbing her forehead. She was hanging on by a thread and sooner or later she’d snap.

“Well, it’s a simple answer, isn’t it?” Alex’s voice carried loud and clear. Her racing heartbeat could not be blamed on the pacing. She halted, hands on her hips, and looked at Alura with wide, terror stricken eyes. “I’ve always wanted the best for my son. If giving him up the first time allowed him to survive, I won’t hesitate to do it a second time.”

Alura frowned. This was what she had been afraid of. “Alexandra –“

“I won’t put his happiness here in jeopardy. I’m not about to let my selfish need to be with him stain his reputation. He deserves so much better.” Her eyes glistened and her throat bobbing around the impending sobs. Something from her training must have clicked because she transformed immediately. Alex, agent at heart, cleared her throat and raised her chin. “I’ll apply for full citizenship. They can take me in. I won’t resist arrest. No casualties. No more scandal. It’s the best option for everyone.”

Alura made to step forward but stopped herself. “You must know I did everything I could. Believe me when I tell you that I do not have the clout I once had. The council tasked me with the responsibility of hiding Misha so that no one questioned their rule of law. He arrived in a pod that traveled across the star systems. If word spread, people would wonder where he came from and why we are not out there as well." She shook her head helplessly. “Attention would turn from domestic issues to those outside our galaxy – attention the council could not govern. They wanted their authority to be on Krypton and Krypton only. That is where the prejudice against humans and foreigners originated. It started with the Council of Law and Behavior.”

Alex nodded. “They ordered you to make him disappear at all costs and you failed.” She offered Alura a look of sympathy. “No wonder you lost influence.”

“They do not believe in my loyalty anymore. It would take a stroke of luck for me to convince a single council member to soften the consequences. That does not mean, however, I will not try to make the consequences more bearable. Should you stay, I will do everything in my power to see to your protection.”

“The time for trial and error is at an end.” Astra was standing tall, voice embolden to a cause. “They want to blame someone? Fine, but it will not be Alexandra. You go to your council and you tell them to shove their ultimatum.”

Alura frowned. “And how do you propose to solve this? The council must please both sides of this conflict. Either Alexandra becomes a citizen and is lawfully charged or she remains an outcast.”

“Whatever charges are being levied against her will be shifted. I will take responsibility and if that means exile then so be it.”

Stunned, Alura gasped. “… _Astra_.”

Alex had a far more animated reaction. “Are you out of your fucking mind?!”

Astra did not tear her gaze from Alura. “You will go to the council and tell them I am at their mercy. In exchange, they will make Alexandra a protected civilian of this planet. She will have all the legal rights as a Kryptonian and not one less.”

Shocked, Alura’s mouth worked for a response. How could she not have seen this coming? Astra would have done anything to deny the council their victory. Alura was so aware of Astra’s devotion to her son and her human. Making the public as uncomfortable as possible in the process was just a bonus. Alura should have realized it would come to this. How could she continue to fail so miserably?  Before she could formulate a solid argument, Alex spoke for her.

“How can you act so casual?” The heat from Alex’s annoyance was coming off of her in waves. “I’ll be damned if you’re going to just give up.”

“On the contrary,” Astra said, “I am defying them.” She folded her arms and cocked her head like she knew better than any of them. “They expect you to sacrifice yourself. I cannot think of a better way to vex the entire establishment while doing so on moral grounds. The legal ramifications will allow you full citizenship giving you full guardianship over Misha. You both will be safe and that is something I cannot disregard.”

“What the hell kind of logic is that? You want to stick it to everyone who’s ever shunned you and you’ll punish your own son to do it. How the fuck can you expect me to accept that, Astra?”

“I do not expect you to.”

Alura had miscalculated. It wasn’t Astra who would snap. No, it was Alex whose eyes flamed and whose rage erupted. She hurled herself forward, completely abandoned from reason. There was no love in her eyes. Only indignation.

“Alexandra!” cried Alura.

She caught Alex’s wrists and stopped her progress. Alex thrashed against her, spending every ounce of strength to get her hands on Astra and throttle sense into her. But Alura held her ground with all the fortitude of a mountain. It was an easy thing to manage in a physical sense and yet she wavered. The challenge in keeping Alex back did not stem from lack of endurance but from her depth of fondness for her. Alex’s pulse throbbed under her palms. She knew what sorrow was burning through those veins. Alex fought in a storm of confusion and heartache, arms wrestling in fury. She could not accept it any more than Alura could.

The spreading inflammation caught Alura’s eye. “Stop this, Alexandra. You are hurting yourself.”

“Me?!” shrieked Alex. Her nostrils flared. “She’s the one doing the hurting. Tell _her_ to stop it!”

“Astra is doing what she thinks is right. She is taking responsibility so that you do not have to suffer. It is… it is not what I wanted. None of this. But maybe it is for the best.”

“How can you say that?” The strength in Alex collapsed with her expression. “Alura... why?”

“Do not ask me that, Alexandra. I cannot choose...” Alura gasped. Her vision was clouding around the edges and her lungs were burning for air. This could not be happening. She never felt panic so raw and debilitating. She fought the instinct to grip Alex for support. “You are both my sisters. Do not make me choose. Please.”

A tear rolled down Alex’s cheek. She closed her eyes, whimpering, “ _No_.” She pushed back feebly.

From behind her came a low murmur of defeat. “Let her go, Alura.”

Alex yanked her wrists out of the loosening grip. Instead of continuing the pursuit, she stood rooted to the floor. Not an ounce of anger left her as she regained her breath. The situation might not be fixed with a beating, but she could hold on to her anger. She was not surrendering like Astra was. She emphasized their differences by resuming her glare.

“Alura.”

Alura remained for fear that Alex would collapse.

“Alura, look at me.”

She tore her gaze away and met Astra who already looked beaten. So much carried on those shoulders and yet she still retained a voice, one hardened by confidence. Alura gaped in realization. Against insurmountable challenge, Astra was picking herself up and putting on a brave face. She had never seen such selflessness in her sister. She had never seen her more loving or warm.

Instead of despairing at the wheezing Alex, Astra focused on her with a most determined resolve. “You are going to go to the council tomorrow morning and relay my proposal. You do not leave until they accept. There are still three days left and I would like to spend them saying goodbye to my family. Alura, if you wish to relieve the friction between us, you will do this for me.”

Alura nodded hurriedly before Astra rescinded the offer. “I will contact you when the arrangements have been made.”

“Good.” Astra turned and swept a hand over her face. “Now leave us.”

Preparation for the fight of her life took its toll on Astra. The salvo of spite would cripple her and she didn’t want Alura around to witness it.

Hesitant, she turned. Alex looked at her pleadingly. All her stubbornness faded to the realization that she had no one on her side. She was alone and frightened. Alura had never felt so torn. She looked between them, Alex with a forlorn expression and Astra who refused to look either of them in the eye. A mixture of contempt and sorrow churned in Alura's stomach, making her sick. Of any two people, no one deserved the right to be together more than Alex and Astra.

“ _Alura_.”

Alura released a shaky breath. By the firm insistence of her sister, she walked out. Her guilty conscious pressed down so arduously she couldn’t bear to offer Alex a glance.

* * *

The tarp made a crackling noise as it flapped gently in the wind. Astra was busying her hands by shaking the throw and folding it over the back of the sofa. Alex felt at a standstill. Everything and everyone carried on as if this would not make waves, leaving her to wonder what the hell just transpired in the last twelve hours.

She had been here before. She experienced defeat in the most tragic of circumstances. If anyone should have been tasked with making a decision, it should have been the person who had actually lost a planet for god’s sake. And yet they acted like they knew what was best for her. Alura abandoned her to deal with Astra on her own. Alex found it hard to believe that after all the conversations they’d shared she would refuse to join what was probably the most important discussion of their lives. Confidences were not easily gained. They grew out of shared experiences, tumultuous times, and emotional turmoil. Alex thought what she had with Alura was as strong as her relationship with Kara on Earth. Perhaps she had been wrong.

And Astra, standing there like some hero when she was anything but.

Alex’s fingers dug into her hips. “You knew it would come to this.”

The blanket ceased to absorb Astra’s attention. She dropped it, raising her head expectantly. “No.”

“Then how do you explain your snap decision? You didn’t think twice about offering yourself up. What gives?”

Astra looked ready to approach but, considering the stiffness of Alex’s voice, she must have reconsidered. Her hands dropped to grip the back of the sofa. “You were about to turn yourself in for arrest. Of course it was a snap decision. I cannot allow you to make this sacrifice. You have given up too much already.”

“You didn’t even give birth to him. What gives you the right to take responsibility for something you didn’t do? This has _nothing_ to do with you. You weren’t there when Jeremiah was born. You didn’t make the decision to send him away. Don’t act like this is some grand gesture to even the odds.” Alex paused to regain her breath. She felt dizzy from the fumes of her anger. It was all she had now and she couldn’t lose that too. “I told you why I stayed. If you’re taking my place because you think I don’t love you enough then _fuck you_. I have been here every day trying to make this last. It was working. We have our careers and Jeremiah and us. It is enough. I need to do this for him. I have to. So don’t take this away from me.”

“Alexandra, you don’t understand. I cannot allow you to do this. You did nothing wrong.”

“Tough shit,” she spat. “I am done taking this bullshit from Krypton. They don’t want me to be their equal? Fine! I just don’t want my son to suffer because of it. If I’m the one to go, it won’t affect him as much. He’ll hardly remember me anyway.”

Astra’s jaw became slack. She hardened her eyes. “How can you say that? He knows you are his mother.”

“He’s going to find out I couldn’t keep his mother here and how do you think he’s going to take that? Knowing you convinced me to just lie down and take it. He will hate me for the rest of his life and I can’t…” Alex covered her face. Her hands were already clammy with perspiration and they came away wet as if she dipped them in the ocean. “I can’t do this on my own.”

“I believe that you can.” A startling surge of courage pulled Astra up and encouraged her to step forward. “There is no one better suited to raise a half-human, half-Kryptonian. You escaped a dying Earth and flew a craft with insufficient life support across the universal divide. Moreover, you managed to gain my trust when I believed in nothing and no one at the time. You have travelled further than any sentient being, Alexandra. You can do anything.”

“That doesn’t negate the fact that I have to lose you again. There is no prerequisite for dealing with that.”

Astra shook her head sadly. “You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. You are willing to give up your second chance for Misha. There is no braver soul than one who allows themselves to be consumed by the stars.”

“Don’t.” Through her bleary vision she could make out the indistinct figure approaching. “Please stop.”

“I have always loved that about you. It is not simply your unwillingness to back down that is magnetizing but your relentlessness to hold on to the things you love. No one is more worthy of happiness. I wish I could be there to see you grow with him.”

Alex shook her head, swallowing back the burn crawling up her esophagus. “How dare you abandon him.”

She pressed the back of her hand under her nose, unable to go on. She looked around for backup and nothing appeared but a living room sprinkled with memories. An unyielding impulse rose like a last stand on a losing battlefield. She endured for Jeremiah’s sake. He couldn’t be there to argue on his own behalf. He was depending on her.

“He’s just a little boy,” Alex said. She shook her head, hands shaking feverishly at her sides. “He won’t understand.”

They were an arm’s length away when Astra came to a stop. “You are burning like the sun,” she whispered. Her eyes strayed to every endearing feature on Alex’s face – her ears and chin, the nose given to their son, and the eyes she fell into so deliriously. “Do not fight me, Alexandra. Let it go.”

“You mean let _you_ go.” It did not carry the venom she intended. Mere seconds after it left her lips, she felt everything come crashing down around her. An unwarranted amount of despair rushed through her. It flooded her entire being. She caught Astra’s arms with fumbling hands. With shaking hands and shaking heart, so ill intact, she gave in to the support being offered. She stepped in to lay her cheek on Astra’s shoulder. “Don’t leave me,” she said, voice cracking. “ _Please_.”

Astra’s hands splayed to Alex’s back, thumbs roving back and forth aimlessly. “Krypton is not like Earth,” she murmured into Alex’s hair. She rested her lips there, speaking humble thoughts. “It has not been easy fitting in – I realize that. However, there is more to this place than its cynical masses. Contrary to recent events, you are precious to this planet. There are people here who would miss you more than they would me. This is not a contest and yet I cannot ignore all the good you will accomplish. You can do far better here than I ever could. I wish I could have shown you more of Krypton. I wish I had time to share its beauty with you.” Her lips widened. “It seems you will have to settle for more youthful company. Misha will love the adventure as will you.”

An impulse shot through Alex like a bolt of lightning. She shoved Astra back, too incensed to speak. How dare she use their son like this. As if Jeremiah would replace Astra. As if Alex would not mourn a sunset without her. She made fists and struck with a wailing cry. The shoulders withstood her assault like concrete but it only spurred her on. She smacked in the same place, again and again, over and over as if it made the slightest dent. It didn’t provoke a flinch. It didn’t knock sense. Instead, it sent a stinging pain through her heart.

A sob slipped from between her trembling lips. Why wasn’t Astra fighting back? Why didn’t she defend herself? Alex launched another attack, fists meeting chest. She drove all her strength into it, focusing all her faith into the attack without regard for how her face screwed to tears. She was weeping in seclusion. She was fighting on fumes. It was all Alex knew.

Astra was watching helplessly. Her eyelashes grew heavy with moisture as she refused to blink. She remained composed to the onslaught. Soldiers such as Alex needed to let out their frustrations. This was their way, Alex had told her so many times. In the vulnerable hours of the night, when Alex was either too tired or inebriated to use a filter, she’d relay the worse of the worst, the missions that exacted the deepest wounds and reaped the most costs. Casualties had a way of striking at the heart of an army’s morale. Some agents went to the bars and ran up a tab. Others fucked away the pain. And then there were those like Alex who dished out hell to a punching bag.

While her body may not yield to trauma, Astra wouldn’t tear the opportunity away from Alex. It was the least she could do and Alex knew it. It was every reason why she couldn’t stop.

Astra took the pummeling like a silent, fallen angel who had been sent to frustrate mortal man. No matter how hard Alex tried, she couldn’t change a thing. Astra just took it with sorrow in her eyes, her chin dimpling, and mouth straining against a sob.

Too exhausted and hoarse to continue, Alex dropped her hands and loosened her fists. Her ribs ached over the pants but nothing hurt more than her heart. “I can’t even look at you.”

Alex turned too fast to catch the floodgates open. The blood was thrashing too violently in her ears to latch onto the choked hitch. She put one foot in front of the other, taking heart in the illusion of a spinning apartment. At least she was moving with it and not standing still like a fool. Unlike Astra, she would not spin into oblivion like a star down a black hole to be seen no more. In three days, nothing would never look the same, not the apartment or the lab, not Alura or Kara. She might not feel that same warmth spring in her chest upon seeing Jeremiah’s smile.

When Alex first arrived, Alura convinced her to turn Krypton’s holier-than-though customs on their heads. In time, Alex found herself inspiring change even if it made the slightest tremor. As a mother, she longed to see all the good that would come from it and marvel at all the beauty through the eyes of her son. But Astra taking responsibility and surrendering to exile? That was change too agonizing to acknowledge.

* * *

The judgment of sedition was shifted and surrender had been accepted. The High Council agreed to exile Astra in exchange for Alex’s and Jeremiah’s protection. The anti-human radicals would have their reparations paid. Astra would be banished in three days.

Three days was a long time to wait and yet three days did not seem enough time to say goodbye. Since their fight in front of Alura, Alex had become a ghost. Despite having experienced this kind of loss in the past, that did not make it any less painful. If anything, the knowing was the hardest part. The forthcoming hours without Astra would strike a blow. It never healed the first time, so why would it now?

Even as Astra made her apologies, Alex remained unresponsive to her pleas. She did not do so to punish Astra. Her blood did not ice over; she was just destitute of emotion. They were far from bitter payback. Fear cast a shadow over her courage and not just any mortal fear. What Alex was feeling broke the rules of a typical panic reaction. What she was feeling went beyond fear of death or physical pain. In all her practical mindedness, Alex never believed in a soul any more than she believed everyone had a mate. And yet… to be torn from someone you loved did unspeakable things to your courage. The threat of losing a loved one rendered an even deeper wound for it inspired the delusion that they could be saved. Mending the rift between them would lead to last words and broken promises and Alex wasn’t ready for that. She was willing to risk closure to mitigate the suffering of goodbye.

While Alex’s crisis of courage stretched the chasm between her and Astra, she did not allow it to touch her son. He was already grappling with the fact that his parent was going away for a very long time.

On Astra’s last night on Krypton, Alex found her in Jeremiah’s bed. She watched them from the dark entry way. The cobalt blue nightlight lit the room’s perimeter and cast the two figures lying beside one another in a sympathetic glow. Alex clutched the doorframe for balance as her confidence crippled. She was about to join them when Astra woke. She watched, suspended of breath, as Astra lifted her hand to comb through Jeremiah’s hair. The sheen of her eyes reflected the nightlight as they roved over the sleeping boy’s face. She was spending her last hours not getting her much-needed rest for the voyage but committing him to memory.

The caresses didn’t stir Jeremiah. He hadn’t the energy to stay awake that night. Since the news had been broken to him, he had been beside himself with grief. Confusion over his mother’s imminent absence could hardly be alleviated. Nothing much could be said without revealing the bigotries of the adult world. He was much too young to understand. Alex didn’t know how she was going to soothe him the next day much less in the following weeks, months, and years without Astra. She didn’t know how she would manage herself.

Jeremiah’s reaction when Astra told him was not at all surprising. He wailed, face drenched with angry tears, and clung to Astra in a vice grip. In garbled Kryptonese and English, he begged her to stay. The news was too much for one little boy to take; his whole body wracked with the sobbing.

No matter her grievances toward Astra, Alex stayed to act as a dry shoulder to cry on. While inside she was crumbling like a seaside cliff bearing the brunt of a tempest, she never shed a tear on the outside. She was inanimate and unresponsive to the slightest stimuli, but she remained in support for her son and later Astra when she had lost it. Astra had stayed strong, voice clear and gentle, until Jeremiah fell to pieces over the subject of his spaceship. He wanted so badly to finish it for her, to make her proud. Her attentions meant everything to him since the moment she cooed at his first unassisted grasp. Alex remembered the burn in her eyes as she sat watching Astra shudder against the wave of remorse. Jeremiah hugged her like she was the only thing in his world that mattered. It left Alex wondering why Astra had to be the one to leave.

Trying to say goodbye amid the confusion and devastation must have been like walking through unset concrete. Being the strong people they were, they managed in three days. Alex had no idea what this was doing to Astra because she refused to ask. Standing in watch over the dimly lit figures, she certainly had an inkling now. Even as Jeremiah slept, Astra was still saying her goodbyes. With rattling breathes and the sweep of her fingertips over his forehead, she was accepting the closure Alex was turning her back on.

Alex clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the gasp. How could she be so foolish? Her son was laying there, passed out from sheer exhaustion, while Astra was silently crying over him. What could be more important than seeing this through together? They were family no matter how severe the quarrels threatened to tear them apart as a couple.

The anger she clung so desperately to slipped away. Astra needed her to make it through this and she had pushed her away. Whatever terror prickling through her veins was nothing compared to the terror of living out the rest of life in the Phantom Zone. Tales came to mind of mind numbing isolation. Alex remembered how Astra recounted her experience and the nightmares induced by the flawless darkness. She nearly went mad to relive every horrible memory from her last encounter with Kara to the sentencing hearing when her final judgment was levied by her own sister.

Now this Astra was about to head off into that same nightmare away from everything she had ever known, never again to see those she loved. It was no wonder she held back from seeking comfort. The mere idea would have been shameful. Alex knew the terror of leaving home behind. She remembered that creeping numbness like it was yesterday – the rumbling of the engines beneath her feet, the hissing oxygen, and the coldness seizing her courage.

The shadows shifted. A disturbance broke the silence in softly padding footsteps. Alex retreated into the hallway and watched Astra close the door behind her. Her nose and cheeks carried the same rosy tint as her bloodshot eyes. For as docile as she lay with Jeremiah just seconds ago, she preserved a mask as if her nose wasn’t as bright as a maraschino cherry.

“Why are you here?”

Her voice had a solemn quality to it. Much like splitting a tree branch in two, its bark crackling under pressure, one could comprehend its health from the inside. A single crack was all that was necessary to reveal its condition. Astra’s dry, brittle voice was not yet dead but dormant and waiting out a future she never would have foreseen.

Alex’s heart clenched. Why was she here? Hadn’t Astra asked a similar question thirteen days ago? Only thirteen days. A far cry from the three years they spent making a life together.

“I’m here because…” She brushed her forehead hesitantly before bringing it to her hip and then clasping it with the other. “I’m here,” she said. “For you.”

The light in Astra’s eyes grew dimmer. “Why now?”

Alex’s breath hitched. Her eyes became besieged by tears. She couldn’t swallow them down or blink them away. Her hands flew to her face to catch the sob. She’d never known catastrophe like this. The DEO didn’t have a code name for it. There was not a manual in the world that could instruct her in how to deal with this. She felt so ashamed. Her shoulders shook to an unstoppable force and her hands became drenched. She felt the droplets slip down her neck and dampen her shirt and pants. It was exactly what Astra needed from her – to lose her shit and act like the certifiable mess she always was. God, her mother had been right.

The weight of failure bent Alex forward until her head met Astra’s chest. The solid obstruction lent a bit of constancy in her spinning reality. Her hands left her face to clutch at the white shirt, her favorite three-quarter length tunic Astra always wore when they stayed in. In her delirious state Alex wondered if Astra planned on ordering takeout on her last night or if she just wanted to fool around. A half-hearted chuckle bubbled forth and was followed by more crying. Without warning, her legs gave out.

Astra caught her before she hit the ground. She gathered Alex to her chest and eased her down until they were both sitting on the floor. “Talk to me,” she implored over Alex's wheezing sobs. “Please, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry I’m such an asshole.” Alex reached up to grab a fist full of curls. She could not shut her eyes tight enough to deny the evidence of her shame. “I told you when we met that I was a mess.”

A rousing chuckle came from Astra. “You said no such thing.”

“Yes, I did. I swear to god, if my mother was here right now she wouldn’t stop barking about it. I never amounted to anything but a crying ball on the floor.”

“You are not a mess. You are anything but a crying ball on the floor.” Astra cradled her tighter, arms encircling her body like a heavenly body cradling life. “Do not think about your mother. There are people here, alive and well, who are championing your successes. When I am gone, you will do wondrous things as you have been doing them since you first opened those beautiful eyes.”

Alex sighed to the finger tracing her eyebrow. A lightness of being encouraged her to sag further. She liked sanctuary. It wore comfy clothes and whispered sweet assurances.

“There is nothing more important in life than believing in oneself,” Astra said. “Without self-confidence, we fail to advance as civilized beings. What are we then if not empty hearts and minds? What is life without drive or passion or bit of snobbery?”

Alex choked around her amusement. Her chuckle met the raised flesh of Astra’s neck.

“If you lose hope, at least keep some for yourself. This is all I ask. Believe in your mind because it is a graceful thing and believe in your heart because it is filled with love for our son.

Alex surfaced to look Astra directly in the eyes. Sniffing, she bore the indignity of being held in such a state. “You shouldn’t be the one consoling. How are you being so calm about this?”

Astra didn’t reply at first. She lay her hand to Alex’s cheek, closed her eyes, and concentrated on the warmth leeching into her skin. She sucked her bottom lip in and bit down before releasing it. “I am dealing with it in my own way,” she said, eyes fluttering open. They wavered on the eve of exile. “I wish I could sleep.”

The flash of uncertainty twisted Alex’s stomach. She raised her hand to cup the one on her cheek and leaned into the combined effort. “You don’t come to bed.”

“You said you couldn’t look at me.”

“That was… I was angry. God, Astra. You’ll be gone tomorrow and you’re still too proud to show any sign of weakness.”

Astra refused to back down, so Alex took her face and pressed their mouths together. It was hard, desperate and short. When it was over, she didn’t give Astra time to blink in surprise. She pressed their forehead together and squeezed her eyes shut to the pressure building behind them.

“Damn it,” Alex muttered.

She scrambled through the curls her fingers would never tangle in anymore. Her lips pressed to the corner of Astra’s mouth, a place that would never be touched by hers or any others. Astra needed to break. She needed to let go. She could not carry this alone. There they sat on the floor against the door to their son’s room and what were they doing? They weren’t doing any number of the things that mattered. They didn’t talk or weep or feel anything. Their clothed bodies just sat there waiting out the minutes as they crawled on.

Alex wouldn’t let it happen. She swept Astra’s hair back and placed her lips to a rosy cheek, the side of a swollen nose, the lids of closed eyes. She unleashed a barrage of kisses over Astra’s face, persuading that mask to soften and accept comfort. 

She felt a pressure on her arm and a hitch beneath her. Astra’s face screwed under her lips in wretched defeat. 

“I’m sorry,” Astra choked out. She clung to Alex’s hair and pulled her back so their eyes could meet. Her face was plagued by tears and unfulfilled plans. “I am so sorry.”

“I know,” Alex said. She tucked the loose curls away and cleaned Astra’s nose with the sleeve of her shirt. “It’s okay. Astra, it’s… it’s going to be okay.”

Alex didn’t know what else to say. She was sure this was the time to make some grand gesture of love, but her mind blanked. She could not promise what was not in her power to grant. Promises were fickle things. Even when you meant to deliver, things happened that were out of your control. Chaos was its own god and it did not bend to human or Kryptonian will. What could she possible tell Astra? How was she expected to prepare her to leave them?

Alex uttered the only three words that mattered. “I love you.”

She shuddered with the words. They swept through her like hope and it felt so good. She fumbled through Astra’s hair as a means to soothe but it only further proved how unfit she was to take this on. She didn’t have the empathy to comfort people. All she had was love for this woman. And what good was it when it couldn’t keep Astra on the ground? What did gravity have that her heart lacked?

“I love you so much I can’t breathe,” she said. “Maybe I don’t want to anymore. Maybe I just want to come with you.”

Astra combed through Alex’s hair with similar recklessness. She shook her head, sniffling. “No, you have to stay here. Misha needs one of us.”

“But I can’t watch you go.”

“I would take you anywhere, Alexandra. You know that. But where I’m going is no place for you.”

“I thought we were going to be together. You said we were family. What’s so wrong with the world that they won’t let us have each other?”

Astra released a long sigh. Her hands slipped from the confines of unkempt hair and proceeded to warm Alex’s arms in slow, pacifying motions.

Despite the hands staying, Alex felt Astra pulling away emotionally. She frowned. “What is it?”

Astra paused in consideration. Her eyes marveled over the curve of Alex’s neck. “I spent so much of my life looking for answers through a scope,” she said, finally looking up. “My defiant curiosity convinced me to ask the hard questions and to never stop until I was satisfied. But what have any of those answers given me but more mysteries to solve? What am I doing if not ignoring what has been inside me all this time? My relationship with my sister… Misha’s kin… your life before me… I dissociate myself from the past when it is the only thing that has led me here.” Astra tilted her head, hand leaving to take Alex’s cheek again. “I do not want to remember us like this. Laying blame and cursing fate will not delay the inevitable. I do not want to spend what little time I have here asking superfluous questions.” Her eyes tore away to dance aimlessly in search for the nerve. “However, there is one thing I need to say.”

Alex fought a roll of her eyes. Astra was going on about not wasting time when here she was chattering on. “Astra, can’t we just –“

“No, I need you to know before it is too late.” Astra stared, unblinking and voice as clear as a spring morning. “I never resented you for holding on to her. She went through torment to make herself worthy of you. I can think of no warrior in history or myth who compares to such strength. Against impediments, she provided opportunity for you to grow into a woman on her own path. You made a son with her. I understand how she must have felt when you left Earth, knowing she’d never see you again. She may be gone but she has never left you. She had your heart first and I respect that.”

“God,” balked Alex, “will you stop doing that?” She took Astra by the face so she wouldn’t stray. “This is different. We have lived in the same house for two and a half cycles and in all that time I have never slept more peacefully next to anyone. I’ve told you things I haven’t told anyone. You are your own person, Astra, with a brilliant mind and endless curiosity which I love above everything. I love you, and this,” she seized Astra’s hand and pressed it over her heart, “this is never going to stop loving you just like it’s never going to forget us. That is more powerful than anything.”

“I do not mean to diminish the life we have built,” Astra said. Her fingertips pressed in so that she was clutching the shirt above Alex’s heart. “I just don’t want you feeling like you can’t survive after this. You have before and you will again.”

“I don’t want to think about that. I just need you to know how much you mean to me. What you’ve done for me… and Jeremiah… it’s… I don’t know how to…”

“Then don’t speak.” Astra’s grip tightened in the linen shirt and pulled as a suggestion. “Don’t speak.”

Alex chased the tug like it exceeded her self-control. With half-lidded eyes and a fluttering in her chest, she let go of the complication, the conflict, and the future. Instead of worrying about where she was going to be, she seized the moment with passion on her lips and breath in her lungs and not a single thought in her head.

The air left her in a stormy sigh that caught in Astra’s mouth. They kissed as they had never kissed before. It was a strange sort of exchange, a kiss of command without the promise and the only demand being to hold on until their bodies could not manage any more. Astra folded her in an embrace that demonstrated all her commitment. Before Alex could weep in response, she was being swept up and taken to their bedroom.

There they expressed everything that had yet to be said at the meeting of their lips and at the brink of abandoned desire. The emotion was so palpable on the bed they had slept in for two and a half years and made love in countless times. So many times in so many different ways and they strained to relive it all in a few hours. It may have seemed reckless to try and grasp on to times long past, but she and Astra were reckless people. Neither of them wanted to hang on to bitter thoughts of what was not within their power any more than they wanted to be at odds.

In the bedroom, away from a slumbering child, their pleas could have penetrated through the walls and touched every soul on Krypton. Arms wound around one another as hands sought familiar territory. They revealed tensions and loosened them to anxious cries and silken deviations. They drowned their senses in sounds and smells, finishing out the night and persisting through morning forever changed by the love they could not, would not, forget.

* * *

Alex fought to stay awake. She dreaded sleep like she dreaded their final moments together. Somewhere between the steady combing of fingers through her hair and a heavy-hearted feeling, sleep finally set in. The last thing she remembered was Astra’s breath buffeting her forehead bidding, “Pleasant dreams, Alexandra.”

Soon, the pressure on her forehead was too much too ignore. Alex woke to a tickling sensation like loose curls floating across her neck. She opened her eyes and blinked in her bleary, sleep deprived state. The other side of the bed basked in the blood orange glow of morning. Astra always looked so beautiful in Rao’s sunlight. No sculpture or painting could compare to her restful lines. Alex always breathed easy knowing the slightest caress wasn’t enough to wake her. It took a poke to the ribs or a cry from Jeremiah to get Astra to wake.

Alex’s eyes traveled the wrinkled sheets and hollow pillow, wondering if her heart was going to break like this every morning. The vacant side was still giving off heat. Alex rose up onto the heels of her hands and tore her gaze from the bed. The door had been left open a crack. Instead of hearing Jeremiah’s puttering or the dissonance of breakfast cobbling, she received nothing but silence.

It hit Alex like a bombshell. Astra was gone. She was never coming back. A familiar stir welcomed itself into her home and settled into her new life. It might as well have been Death for no one returned from the Phantom Zone. Not back to Krypton. Not back to her.

An unfathomable sickness came over Alex. She slid back on the bed until her back met the headboard. She curled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. She held on so tightly her fingers cramped and her breasts ached, but it was all she could do to stem the onslaught.

It was all for nothing. Alex bled out of an unseen wound. In that moment, she understood what it felt like to have someone slip the blade between your ribs. Krypton betrayed her like she betrayed Astra on that rooftop. What did any of it mean? The answer hissed from the pit in her stomach. Suffering. Some people were just meant to have everything and then lose it before they understood what it was worth. Fate didn’t want her to hold on to anything good so it coiled around her heart and squeezed.

It _was_ different this time. She knew what those three years meant to her because Alura showed her the importance of change. Because Jeremiah smiled. Because Astra helped pick her up and make a life for herself. Alex transformed herself from a wreck into a woman. She understood her life’s value because was in love again. She was in love again and she was so aware of it.

Alex dropped her head to her knees and wept.


	11. Intermission

The dream was unlike anything she had experienced before. It came suddenly like a breeze tossing her curls. The air smelled not of the recycled air of her pod but of Argo City. A brackish fragrance swept in from the west where the Dandahu surf crashed into the mainland. The breeze was laced with salt and… a smoky hint Astra couldn’t place. It singed her nose hairs as she inhaled, its subtle notes tingling the fibers of memory.

The char reminded her of Uncle Misha and the nights they would roast their kill on a spit. They would have supper together under the clearest skies seen nowhere else on Krypton. She and Alura would sit on their logs, bumping shoulders and making bets on who could track the longest in the heat of midday. Their bickering was always silenced at the deep hum of their uncle. When he had their undivided attention, he dove into another story of his military campaigns. He spoke less of war and sought to broaden their world view by painting images of awkward four-toed aliens who ate prickly fruit, of spaceships so sleek they did not disturb a cloud, and of civilizations more disadvantaged in technology than Krypton yet no less capable of artistic and intellectual achievements.

The universe seemed small from his perspective. Planets and their strange environs were reachable in their mind’s eye. The galaxy was not so far away when Uncle Misha brought it down to Krypton and gave it life with a gravely tone of voice. From then on, the stars had never fascinated Astra quite as ardently as they did on those hunting trips. They didn’t look more promising until several years later one lone human fell from those very stars.

Astra breathed in those memories with a rattling in her chest. Her heart ached and she didn’t understand why. It was unfortunate that humans could not dream this way. The heightened senses of a Kryptonian allowed them to experience the smells, tastes, and feel of their nocturnal illusions. But this dream was not like the others.

At first, she thought she had woken in a windstorm. A horizontal force swept through Argo like a ribbon, fluidly snaking in and amongst its skyscrapers. They gained speed in their turns and could, at times, flip a hovercar off its route. Even as Astra braced herself for the inevitable gust, it weaved around her body like it was a part of her. She was flying.

Errant curls tangled in the wind. A flash of silver obscured her view for a moment. She did not fear the expanse of empty air beneath her. Her focus was on the high-rise structure in front of her, its wide window, and the boy behind it. When she saw the flames rising behind him, her heart caught in her throat and choked her shout. Misha, face screwed in torment, was banging his fists on the window to get her attention. The fire had spread to all corners of the apartment and had nowhere else to go but toward the untouched boy. Astra couldn’t hear what he was saying behind the noise proof window. The wind shrieked in her ears. She could read the movement of his lips as he screamed, “Mama! Mama!”

Astra choked. Her hands met the glass, slapping for weaknesses and fingering for a seam. She had to get him out of there. Her son… Her son… If only she could break through and rescue him from the fire. The heat spread to her fingers. The entire window was hot to the touch and Jeremiah was wet with tears. How fortunate for humans. They wouldn’t have felt the heat stinging their palms. They wouldn’t smell the acrid smoke crowding their lungs. There was no doubt the smoke was coming from somewhere, but no seam met her fingers. Surely, such cruelty could not occur in reality.

His panting shouts buffeted the window. She pressed harder and, still, the barrier remained in place. Panic rampaged his body in trembles. The quick, terror stricken patters of his heart thundered in her ears. She could hear his heart but not his own voice. What a disturbing place this was. His eyes glistened from behind the window. His fists opened to splay on her hands. His fingers sought out hers, the precious little fingers she never stopped kissing when he developed out of his vulnerable newborn phase. A mere window separated them and yet Astra felt another world away. All she wanted was to take him in her arms, press him hard to her chest, and fly away. Rao’s light did not take children so soon. Not like this. Not when she was being made to watch him suffer.

A subtle change in altitude arrested her in a gasp. Gravity tugged on her limbs like a bothersome reminder: Kryptonians could not fly. She grappled for purchase over the impeccably smooth transparisteel. Her hands were sliding down the window, leaving behind a trail of perspiration and fog. They made a squeaking sound as they skidded over the glass. She craned her neck to catch one last glimpse but it was too late.

“Misha!”

She was not flying anymore. She was falling.

* * *

Astra woke up in her pod, choked by grief. She couldn’t see through her bleary vision and she didn’t want to. All that had surrounded her for endless days was blackness. She was sick to death of it: the void, the bone shuddering chill, the hissing air unit which scrubbed the carbon dioxide and replaced it with oxygen.

A breeze whistled past her cockpit window and beyond it stalky grass swayed in the wind. She was far to wracked by sobs to notice her surroundings or the fact that her pod had finally reached a standstill. The swishing sound from outside persisted as she moaned “My son… my son…” in mantric delirium.

Later, when she came to her senses, she was outside her pod in a strange, rolling landscape. A tremor swept through her from the shock of where she stood under a blue sky and a yellow sun. Astra took in the expanse of swaying crops. She had landed in a prairie of tall stalks tipped with seedlings. It was not the color of grass on Krypton. This grass carried a golden color like its sun. She wondered if anyone had seen or heard the crash. Her pod did not look damaged and the landing had only disturbed a small radius. The straw was thick enough to camouflage her pod, so there was little risk of it being discovered. For as rich as the land, it did not appear cultivated. It grew as wild and untouched as the prickly bush in Shade Canyon.

Astra tilted her head back, sighing in refuge of the warmth leeched into her skin. Her tears evaporated in the heat. Her chilled flesh from the voyage tingled like it did on a Rao soaked beach after a swim. This was not heaven or hell. Wherever Astra had landed, it must have been somewhere in between.

The fine, gritty soil yielded beneath her boot heels. This was not Krypton. It was definitely not the Phantom Zone. Despite the peculiar smells, this did not feel like a dream. Astra had a hunch, but she wasn’t willing to believe it without proof.

And so like a scientist hell bent on proving a theory, she explored the countryside. She followed the rolling field until it ended at pavement. Ahead stood a small establishment. In the forefront, four service stations were cast in the shadow of a long roof. Astra squinted at the sign above the complex, but when she did so her vision narrowed and then rocketed forward.

She lost her equilibrium and kicked up dirt in the fall. What had just happened? She propped herself up on her elbows, coughing on dirt. Something had knocked the wind out of her. But what? Astra glared at the likely source of her dizzy spell: the building’s signpost.

A faint itch grew behind her eyes. “ _Ah!_ ”

The itch spread. It was like her skull was on fire. She fisted her eyes as if some grit had flew into them. The sensation was maddening. She left her eyes closed and focused on her breathing. The air was not as thin as Krypton. It had pollutants, emissions, chemicals of the non-biodegradable kind. There were nitrates in the fertilizer. She could smell them in the powder kicked up from her stumble. Amid the smells assaulting her senses, one stood out among the rest.

It dawned on Astra like a punch to the gut. Her head snapped up to catch the sign again. With careful consideration, she narrowed her eyes so that her vision magnified. Incredible. Almost as incredible as the words inscribed on the building.

 _Petrol_.

Astra scrambled to her feet. Without a thought for the dust caked on her clothes, she walked across the pavement and into the store. In her search for civilization she stumbled through a door that rang upon entrance.

She grunted, clapping her ears against the noise. The clanking bell soon faded. Her eyes adjusted immediately to the lighting. Inside, the store was empty of people. There were shelves of items littering the place. So many colors. The smells were dizzying.

A buzzing came from above. Astra looked up to catch an insect stuck inside the light fixture. The erratic beating of its wings disturbed the air like a thermo hammer. Her eyes crinkled around the flinch.

She looked away. There was so much to see and touch and perceive there. A display rack appeared out of the corner of her eye, demanding her attention with their declaratory words. Before she could translate them, a voice startled her from behind.

“Are you lost, lady?”

English. Just like the signpost outside. Astra frowned. Could she really be on Earth? If that was true, which Earth? Alex’s Earth or one from an alternate universe?

Astra turned to face the owner of the voice. A middle-aged man wearing a blue cap and short sleeves sat behind the counter. His thick, hairy arms rested on either side of a paper filled with black and white boxes. Her lagging response had him leaning back to reveal a round gut. He chewed on some unidentified substance, mouth open and jowls wagging. This human hardly looked a fashion. He must have come from one of the lower castes.

“Excuse me, fellow hum – “ She glanced down to his name tag. “Roy. Might you advise me of the year and our location on this planet?”

The man named Roy continued chewing. His unsettled gaze slid down her form fitting uniform. “You’re not one of them terrorists, are ya?”

Astra tilted her head. “I do not believe so.”

He gave her another once over before grunting out, “You wanna know what year it is? It’s 2011. You wanna know where ya are? The belly button of Iowa, lady. Disney Land is that way.”

Astra followed his finger out the door. She bowed her head, bid a “thank you,” and exited the establishment before he could commit her face to memory.

Aimless, Astra walked back through the prairie in a daze. There was no doubt that she was on Earth. But how? The council had set her pod’s navigation system to rendezvous with the Phantom Zone. She remembered the launch and the tears flooding her eyes with stinging regret. So many regrets. She should have woken Alex. The ache spreading in her chest and the tingling in her fingers and toes at the time kept her from making a move. She should have kissed her one last time. But she hadn’t and she would live with it for the rest of her miserable life.

Astra wobbled unsteadily on her feet. She shook upon exhale and swallowed around the lump growing in her throat. The tears threatened to burn through her skull but she kept it at bay with deep, shuddering breathes and pressed on through the field.

Astra didn’t remember much of what happened after takeoff. Amid so much darkness there was very little to use as a reference point. Even if she could have bypassed the navi-com and taken over manual control, where would she have gone? She had traveled off planet in her youth, but nowhere as far as the Phantom Zone. However she arrived on Earth, her pod must have been pulled off course. The only force capable of achieving that feat was a wormhole or god-made portal.

The theories were numerous but the chances of any of them holding water were slim. Astra was not willing to believe that a cosmic being manifested an escape for her pitiful existence. He, she, or they probably had more pressing matters to deal with. And the likelihood that she passed through the same wormhole Alex travelled seemed outrageous. Wormholes might not remain open for an extended period of time. No one knew how they were made or when they would appear. Their existence was as shrouded in mystery as the omniverse itself. 

It didn’t matter anyway. If Earth’s technology was as inferior as Alex described, there would be no leaving this rock. Which meant she could never return home. Earth, 2011 CE was her prison now. It seemed impossible to believe that she might be on the same planet just four years before Kara would don the mantle of Supergirl.

Astra ground to a halt. She ignored the bristly stalks sweeping her cheek. An idea occurred to her and shot a rousing dose of adrenaline through her veins. Her lips tugged up in a nervous smile. Her heart pounded and her skin tingled in anticipation.

Crouched, she took off at a sprint. A startling surge of endurance swept through her. Her limbs felt light and the ground beneath her feet so soft it felt like cloud cover. She picked up speed, cutting the field like a thermo scalpel through brain matter. Her body burned limitless energy and it felt wonderfully freeing. She took a running leap, arms spread out for balance. The jump launched her two feet in the air but she landed on the ground much lighter than before. A sense of childlike wonder filled Astra. She hadn’t laughed like this in days.

It took her several attempts before she managed to stay airborne. With fingers spread towards the sun, she rocketed skyward. Alex had recounted the experience a while back and yet it did not come close to living it for herself. The wind tugged on her hair and the air pressure made a popping sound in her ears. Her body was still adjusting to the environment but she couldn’t help the draw of the sun. The higher she soared the more it energized her body. Earth’s gravity was at her mercy. Astra felt invincible.

The rippling currents invigorated her senses and she decided to choose one and see where it led her. Soon she found herself over tall buildings. Their second-rate sophistication was unlike the architecture of Argo City. Its landscape did seem to resemble the stories. Alex had been right - Earth was different from Krypton. And judging by its condition, the planet did not look threatened by natural disasters.

The flying cleared her head and led her to several conclusions. First, she was grounded indefinitely. Her pod was intact but without the power to lift off. Unless she found another spaceship on Earth, which she highly doubted, she would not be leaving Earth anytime soon.

Second, if she was confined to this planet, she would have to learn to blend in. According to Alex, these humans did not take kindly to foreign invaders. They were more likely to shoot her down and dissect her abilities rather than help her. Astra could not rely on the humans; she would be seen as a threat to their society and that was a risk she could not take.

There would be consequences for a Kryptonian seeking to adapt to Earth. Astra would make mistakes, underestimate her powers, and forget that she even had them, thus exposing her identity. She was not used to having such advanced senses and boundless strength and speed. And flight! How wondrous! In any case, she had to attune herself to this new place before going out in public.

Third conclusion, she was in a different time which meant that any acquaintance of Alex would not recognize her. She knew the names of the Danvers’ family and friends, but none of them would be inclined to help an enigma like her. They wouldn’t be quick to believe her origins either. And, for obvious reasons, Kara could never know.

Suddenly, Astra was struck with a sense of guilt. This was exactly how Alex must have felt when she arrived on Krypton. She hadn’t known anyone and was forced to convince people that she was not a threat. So few conceived the existence of time traveling portals and even fewer believed she hailed from another dimension. Astra felt so sorry for not taking her at her word from the start. They may have been strangers at the time, but Astra should have seen the loneliness in Alex. Lonely like how Astra was feeling.

Recognizing the sheer number of obstacles before her, she came to the conclusion that she could not do this alone. She needed assistance and there was only one person who could possibly help her.

* * *

The densely populated forest stretched further than any Kryptonian eye could see. Nettle beds were spread over the ground and accumulated more needles shed by angry winds and old age. Astra had never seen so much green in one place. It was astounding.

Humans called the region Canada. Its boreal forest covered over sixty percent of its land area, making wood the country’s staple industry. According to the innkeeper, countless lumber towns sprouted up over the decades. Astra came upon one such town the previous day. The natives were of humble stock, soft spoken, and very accommodating during her stay. The night she spent in their little inn came without the slightest disturbance, interrogation, or hidden fees. Not much comprised the town besides the inn and tavern, a few general stores, and a post office. Compared to Earth’s compact cities, Astra found the isolated town rather quaint.

At the nearby lumberyard, she was being led along by the manager on site. The buzz of saws roared through the air. Astra fought the constant urge to wince. It had only been a few days since arriving on Earth and her senses had yet to acclimate.

In her wincing, she failed to keep a heading. Her course strayed from the manager as a loud obnoxious horn blared. Astra dodged out of the truck’s path and paused to catch her breath. This was more than any one person could handle. How did humans manage it? With dulled senses, that was how. She shook her head of the variable noises assaulting her.

The manager turned his head and shouted over the revving motors, “You alright?!”

Long bundles of wood were being loaded onto a truck by a forked machine. Astra tore her gaze away and nodded.

“Keep up now. You don’t want to get lost.”

From then on, Astra kept a more vigilant watch and followed the manager nearly close enough to tread on his heels.

“Hey, Joe!” the manager called. “You have a visitor!”

Astra raised her brows expectantly. Joe didn’t turn. She waited him out by tucking the silver strand of hair behind her ear as she had a habit of doing lately.

“I won’t be far.” The manager pointed to a small depot where workers were congregating for their lunch break. “You give a holler when you’re done, alright now?”

Astra nodded politely. “Yes, thank you.”

He went to join the group of loggers, leaving Astra alone with the man known as Joe. She kept a courteous distance. Her empty hands were within view and hanging loose at her sides. Astra felt stiff and uncomfortable. Posing as a non-threat did not come easy. She had never had to pretend she was something other than herself. It would only grow more challenging with the passing days. Perhaps this man could help.

Joe wiped the grime from his hands and climbed down the short stack of logs. He was a wide-shouldered fellow, tall and impeccably sculpted. Astra could acknowledge his attractiveness in a platonic sense. She had seen men like him on Krypton, those of lean stock and gentle demeanor. Judging by the thick black hair, he could not have been a day over thirty. Like most of the loggers, he left his beard untrimmed.

His eyes, though, were what drew Astra in. They were marked by a vivid blue, a kind of sea she had never seen anywhere in the galaxy but the Dandahu west of Argo. A sudden wave of homesickness overcame Astra and she dropped her gaze.

Joe let his arms fall loosely to his sides. Judging by the twitch to his hands, he was holding back an impulse. He cleared his throat and spoke in a deep, curious voice, “Do I know you?”

Astra looked up and met the nostalgia in his eyes. “You are a difficult man to find, Kal-El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there, folks! My many thanks for hanging on. I know it’s been a brutal ride. I can’t put into words how I feel when I read the reviews. They have all been so thoughtful, honest, and very humorous, some entertainingly lengthy while others get down to brass tacks. Audience input is important to authors and I welcome yours. For those of you who have consistently supported these stories, you know how I feel (✿◠‿◠)
> 
> For those of you who may be wondering, there will be a final sequel to wrap up the series. I will post the first chapter after a short hiatus. It will tie up loose ends and close with an ending that… Erm, I don’t want to spoil anyone by being too specific but trust that it is a fulfilling ending.


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